News for Tuesday: June 20th, 2000

Why Wills doesn't give a damn (The Guardian)
Charlotte Raven

Funny isn't it, how people still get excited about the royals? The commemorative supplements, the acres of "analysis" supporting the claim that William is as "caring" as his mother and as "keen to assume" his public role as his father was once reluctant, the inches of cap-doffing editorial - it all strikes the wrong note at a time when the people care at least as much about Jamie Oliver's wedding as they do about the achievements of this "thoroughly modern Prince".
How are we meant to respond to the news that William is a member of Pop, the "elite" Eton society? Proud that he has made it? Worried that he might be neglecting his homework in favour of more rewarding duties such as spot fining new boys for turning up late to chapel? These parental responses would once have seemed quite in order. William, after all, is the nation's son and, although we have had little say in the details of his education, we still need reassurance that our boy has a "mature awareness" of his calling, a "sensible" reluctance to go to parties where drugs may be being taken and a thoroughly modern passion for IT. That picture of him on the computer is the kind of thing you might dispatch to convince some distant aunt that the trust fund was being spent wisely. Ditto the end-of-term report in Saturday's Telegraph magazine in which ex-teacher Allison Pearson commends the prince's laid back approach to his "unique historical burden".
Beginning with a quote from Hamlet ("His will is not his own/For he himself is subject to his birth/He may not as unvalued persons do/Carve for himself") Pearson considers how young Wills might cope with the fundamental dilemma of royalty - namely how to do your duty without sacrificing your humanity. Given that Charles's answer to this question was to worry himself sick and then punish himself for being crap by making the wrong decisions, it seems likely that Pearson is right to suggest that Wills might be better equipped to face his hereditary destiny. Pointing to the countless ways in which the prince is better adjusted than his father - he hugs, he cooks, he supports Aston Villa - she applauds his down-to-earth reluctance to be moulded by his role.
This is one way of putting it. Another is to see the prince's present view of his office as proof that he is two steps ahead of the people who consider him the monarchy's first instinctive moderniser. In their estimation, his casual just-call-me-Wills approach reflects his thoroughly modern refusal to be bound by out-of-date conventions. But they fail to recognise that his status as heir apparent could very well fall into that category. Admitting in the "in-depth interview" that he "doesn't like the attention" is not a good start for someone being groomed to be the King. Nor is his repeated assertion that he "hadn't really thought about" what royal duties will mean a sign that he's preserved a healthy balance. Rather it suggests that he isn't interested in the one thing that sets him apart from your average James or Henry. What might be interpreted as normal teenage embarrassment at the questions about his future, could also be read straight. Perhaps he really hasn't thought about it - in which case either he's thicker than his GCSE grades suggest or he knows something we don't.
My money's on the latter conclusion. Some where at the back of his mind, William is aware, as we are not, of a very good reason why he doesn't need to think about these issues. He knows, as we don't, that it doesn't matter a toss how he feels about being king because it isn't going to happen. Very far from being the calm before the storm, these carefree days of soccer and paella are a blueprint for the rest of his existence.
The alternative scenario - that Wills will be made king in several decades' time - is impossible to envisage. Far safer, I think, to assume that the monarchy is Queen Elizabeth and that even if Charles ever makes it to a coronation, he will be the last of his breed to be crowned.
Modernity will see to it that princes and princesses will go the way of domes and division bells - as with the reform of parliament, the demise of the British monarchy will happen by tiny increments. There will be no storming of palaces - the republic already exists in the hearts and minds of a public professing indifference to Prince William.
Likable as the young prince seems, the truth is that he lacks an "it" factor. Apart from his mother's eyes, Wills has not been blessed with iconic attributes. He's too well-rounded to be glamorous and too good looking to be taken seriously. Somehow, instead of merging harmoniously, the qualities of each of his parents seem to cancel each other out. Neither superstar nor dutiful toiler, Wills is more Prince Andrew than Prince Hamlet - worried by nothing more than the schedule for the next day's entertainment.
His readiness to answer those Smash Hits-style questions in the interview reveal a man more comfortable with "what's your favourite colour?" demi-celebrity than "what do you think about Kenya?" public office - an attitude, we must assume, that will do him no harm as he canters through life unimpeded by the spectre of accession.
Unlike his poor pathetic father, Wills will not be called upon by God to do anything more strenuous than gad about at parties and open his home to OK!. That's why he seems so unphased. It has nothing to do with being well adjusted and everything to do with growing up without responsibility for anything.
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Camilla and Charles step out(BBC News)

Prince Charles's "companion" Camilla Parker Bowles has appeared at his side at a semi-official engagement.
The couple are hosting a gala dinner in London in honour of the Prince's Foundation - one of his charities.
They arrived at the headquarters of foundation in a newly-restored warehouse in Shoreditch, east London, in the same car.
In front of around 100 photographers they walked the short distance down a red carpet into the building.
Mrs Parker Bowles, wearing a pale pink embroidered full-length Versace evening gown, smiled broadly.
They did not pose for photographers, despite their shouted pleas.
The move comes after Mrs Parker Bowles met the Queen for the first time in years at a lunch for the ex-Greek King Constantine just two weeks ago.
Their first public appearance was 18 months ago at the Ritz Hotel in London at the 50th birthday party of Camilla's sister, Annabel Elliott.
Guests at the dinner included dress designer Donatella Versace, model Elle Macpherson, racing driver David Coulthard and his fiancee Heidi Wichlinski, actress Lauren Bacall, Sir Richard Branson and Lady Branson and US comedienne Joan Rivers.
Shortly after 2300 BST the Prince and Mrs Parker Bowles left the event, walking out together just after King Constantine and Queen Anne-Marie of Greece.
They got into their green Bentley again without pausing or posing for photographers.
Relaxed

They had been entertained after dinner by Australian singer Tina Arena, who is currently starring in the West End Notre Dame de Paris.
Guests at the dinner said Mrs Parker Bowles had looked relaxed throughout the evening.
The BBC's royal correspondent Jennie Bond says there is no doubt the appearance is another move in the campaign to gain public acceptance for Mrs Parker Bowles.
The Prince's Foundation in the UK was set up a year ago as an umbrella group for all the architectural and environmental causes he sponsors.
Its aim is to improve the quality of life in towns and cities through urban design and regeneration.

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