News for Sunday: June 25th, 2000

'Ma'am, everything is going wrong'(Electronic Telegraph)
By Helena de Bertodano

ON the wall of Major Mike Parker's home is a photograph of the Queen as you never normally see her. While a fire rages behind her, she is looking at Parker and laughing delightedly, uninhibited glee etched on her face.
Parker explains the context. It was 1977, the Queen's Silver Jubilee, and the first national event organised by him. As part of the celebrations, the Queen was to light - or pretend to light - a 35ft bonfire. "I had an idiot in a tree with a switch," says Parker, "and I said, 'When the Queen lights the fire, press the button.' He pressed the button too early so the bonfire caught light before it was meant to. I got a fit of the giggles and said, 'Ma'am, I must tell you absolutely everything is going wrong.' She said, 'Oh, good.' "
It can't have put her off. Indeed, since then, the Royal Family has come to rely on Parker to mastermind the entertainments at every landmark occasion. It is he who is the brains behind the Queen Mother's 100th Birthday Pageant, to take place in Horse Guards Parade on July 19. He supervised her 80th and 90th birthdays, the VE Day and VJ Day celebrations in 1995 and the earlier G7 summit, when he organised fireworks from the roof at Buckingham Palace. "God, that was high risk - I could have set light to the palace," he says now. He produced the Royal Tournament at Earls Court for 26 years and this year is organising its replacement, the Royal Military Tattoo in Horse Guards Parade from July 10-15, which, he promises, will be the largest military extravaganza ever. He is, in short, the world's biggest party planner. "I find it easier to do things on a large scale," he says.
When I arrive at his two-storey Earls Court flat, he is on the phone, working out the tiered seating arrangement for the Queen Mother's Birthday Pageant. His head is on the table, in despair. "The riser for normal seating has got to be more than six inches. What! No wonder I can never bloody see." He half-turns from a sea of papers, apologises, then launches into a discussion about swing doors.
His office is like a stage set. A skull and a Viking helmet hang from a screen depicting a Harrier jet, while his designs for the backdrops of the Royal Tournament adorn the walls. Evidence of his royal connections abound: a large picture of the Queen Mother dominates one wall and a signed photograph from the Prince and Princess of Wales is on his mantelpiece. The Major himself is wearing a T-shirt printed with the crown and the words "The Royal Tournament: 1880-1999, Producer". His hair is slicked back and his bushy eyebrows give him a look of Denis Healey, while his amused grin is reminiscent of Stephen Fry.
Eventually, he finishes his phone call and flops into a studded red leather armchair. "There are so many things that could go wrong," he groans. "But if something is easy to do, then it's not worth doing." His whole career has been a testimony to this statement. Each event is bigger and better and more daring than the last. "Most of these events are a damage-limitation exercise. If you're not living on a knife- edge then you're doing something too boring and too predictable."
Things, inevitably, do go wrong. There was his re-enactment of the Battle of Trafalgar on a lake in Germany with 25ft-high galleons, when he managed to set fire to all the trees around the lake while the boats melted and sank. Or the Royal Fireworks at the Prince of Wales' wedding, designed to depict events in his life, including a huge firework palace. "We'd planned the most complex fireworks display ever," says Parker, whose every event is always summed up in superlatives. But he hadn't bargained on the horses' hooves cutting through the cable connected to the fireworks. "It was an evening of complete horror. Put it this way, the fireworks went off in a slightly unusual order. The Queen did point out to me that the programme wasn't going exactly according to plan."
Yet for all the failures, there are far more spectacular successes. He seems to have a gift for galvanising people and persuading them to believe in his ideas, which usually come to him, he says, while he lies in the bath listening to The Archers. Now 58, he lives alone, and always has done, maintaining that no wife would be able to put up with him. "I joined the Army to have a family," he says.
It doesn't take long in his company to realise that he is hard to oppose. He asks me if I would like a glass of wine and when I start to say no, he says, somewhat illogically, "Why not, today's got a long way to go yet. Emma dear," he calls through to his assistant. "I've decided we'd like a glass of wine."
A bottle of chilled white wine is produced, followed, not long afterwards, by another. I hope that this might loosen his tongue on the subject of the Royal Family. Not a bit of it. Even after four or five glasses, the Major is a man of the utmost discretion. "I know what you want me to say but I really mustn't," he says, charming but adamant. "I'll be drummed out of the Brownies."
Nevertheless, after four hours of conversation, you begin to understand the link between him and the Royal Family. I should think that the Queen finds him a highly entertaining maverick. Of her, he says: "I find her enormously good company. She has the most wonderful sense of humour."
He adds that she is always the first to spot anything amiss in a show. "She actually notices things that other people don't and I find it fascinating, even though it catches me out. She might be the only person to notice the one Drum Major who didn't quite do the right thing."
I ask if the Queen has ever ticked him off. "I'm sure she has, yes. I think you get to know immediately if you're on the wrong track." He insists that he has no control over what the Royal Family will do or say on a given occasion, although he does hint at a little gentle steering. For example, the announcement this week that the Queen Mother will say a few words during the July 19 pageant came as no surprise to Parker. "I'd always hoped that she might."
I ask if he suggested it. "You're asking me to give away trade secrets. I wasn't going to push it until nearer the time. But when they said she would, I said, 'That's great - I just happen to have a microphone ready.' She won't read anything. I think she'll just say a few words of thanks from the heart."
Some describe him as the royal equivalent of Steven Spielberg, using the members of the Royal Family as actors in his extravaganzas. Parker snorts when I put this to him. "Without the money!" he exclaims, then adds. "You must get it right. I'm not asked to do things by them; they very kindly come to see things I happen to do."
But there is more to it than this. To a certain extent, he does stage-manage the Royal Family. For example, the idea of having just the Queen Mother, the Queen and Princess Margaret appear on the balcony during the VE Day celebrations was a masterstroke, coming at a time when the image of the Royal Family had suffered a series of blows due to the marital problems of the younger generation. Did he suggest it? "Yes. I just thought it would be right to re-create the scene of VE Day itself, when there were four people on the balcony. Since then, of course, George VI had died and I thought it would be rather nice to have the three remaining ones."
The perception that he suggests to members of the Royal Family what they might wear, or that they advise him beforehand of what colour they will be appearing in, is wrong, he says. "The only time clothes came up was at the Queen's Silver Jubilee and all the girls were asking what to wear. And I thought, 'I've no idea. What do you wear for lighting a bonfire?' The message came back that 'night-time point-to-point kit' would be suitable. And I thought that is the most wonderful answer, because it means everything and nothing."
I ask if the message came from the Queen. "Well, it sort of came back through the ether," he says diplomatically. "In fact, the Queen did turn up in a headscarf on the night, which was great." But, I coax, would he try to ensure that the royal guest did not turn up in bright pink if everything else was in scarlet? He looks at me, perhaps remembering that the Queen wore pink during her own birthday parade last weekend, an event - not organised by Major Parker - that was studded with scarlet uniforms. He raises an eyebrow and says, smiling: "I won't say a word."
He is less restrained when talking about people outside the Royal Family. For example, when Margaret Thatcher came to the opening of the World Chess Championships, which he organised in 1986, he suggested to her office that she might like to turn up in black and white. "And she did. She'll probably say that it was her own idea. I'm sure it was. But on the whole, you don't really prescribe such things. To be honest, I've got better things to think about."
At the moment, his biggest concern is that his re-creation of the Charge of the Light Brigade and the Charge of the Heavy Brigade at the Royal Military Tattoo will run amok. "It's very easy to start but it's quite difficult to stop. If it goes wrong, one lot will end up in Admiralty House, and the other lot in the Scottish Office."
As for the Queen Mother's Pageant, he has a whole menagerie traipsing down Horse Guards Parade. Anything, he says with relish, could happen. He is pulling together all the Queen Mother's interests, which include at least 320 charities, in one vast parade. "There'll be dachsunds, bulls, sheep, racehorses, chickens, camels, even winkles. There are a mass of things that could go wrong. But that's the fun."
The next major event looming on the Royal Calendar is the Queen's Golden Jubilee in 2002. Parker will have retired by then as he does not think his health will stand the pressure much longer. "The Queen Mother's Birthday Pageant is going to be my swansong." But he says he will take a backseat advisory role for the Jubilee. Any plans as yet, I ask? His eyes light up. "Maybe the largest horse show ever. I'll have to have another bath and think about it."
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Boy to star in Queen Mother's pageant(Electronic Telegraph)
By Andrew Alderson, Chief Reporter

A FAIR-HAIRED blue-eyed child actor has been chosen to help Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother at her birthday pageant by blowing out the candles on a 30ft-wide mock birthday cake in front of more than 12,000 guests.
Ross Malloy, six, will perform the role at the hour-long ceremony at Horse Guards Parade, central London, on July 19. Ross, dressed in a chef's outfit, will call to the Queen Mother through a megaphone: "Happy birthday, Ma'am. Do you want to blow out the candles or would you prefer me to?"
She will invite him to do the job for her. Ross will take a deep breath and blow, then the stage lights will go out as if the candles were real. The little boy is already used to big occasions. Earlier this year, when still only five, he was on stage for an hour each night when he played the role of Sorrow, the son of the main character, in Raymond Gubbay's Madame Butterfly at the Royal Albert Hall. One reviewer described his performance as "beyond the cute, even for a five-year-old", while another said he was "a real trouper, despite his tender years, as Butterfly's son".
Ross, from Crouch End, north London, was chosen for the Queen Mother's birthday pageant by Joan Lane, who is experienced at casting children. "He is accustomed to large audiences," she said. "He is a bright little button. I auditioned him for Madame Butterfly and watched him in performance. I realised he could cope with an occasion like this [the pageant]. He has a lovely personality and will not be fazed by addressing the Queen Mother."
Ross, who attends St Peter's school in Elm Grove, north London, is the son of two musicians: Alasdair, a percussionist with the BBC Concert Orchestra, and Pip, a viola player. Mrs Malloy said of her son: "He loved the part of Sorrow in Madame Butterfly and slipped into the role easily. He is quietly confident, without being precocious, and just got on with it. He knows what his role will be at the pageant and he knows roughly what he has to say, and hopefully he will just do what he has to do on the day. I don't think he will be overawed by the occasion: he'll just enjoy himself."
Ross's three-year-old sister, Kirsty, is a "crumblet" - one of the children making up part of the birthday cake. Forty children round the base and a dozen beneath will burst out from the cake as it is "cut". The 25ft-high four-tier structure is white with pink, blue and lilac trim and has been designed by Mervyn Harridence, a prop expert and the scenic artist for the Royal Tournament for the past 20 years.
Major Michael Parker, who is producing the event and came up with the idea for the giant cake, said: "We wanted a cake with 100 candles on it and I thought, at her age, the Queen Mother might prefer to have someone else blowing out the candles for her." The Telegraph can reveal that the Prince of Wales has been chosen to accompany the Queen Mother in her carriage to the pageant.
The birthday will also be marked by the issue of a £5 centenary crown depicting the Queen Mother smiling and flanked by flag-waving crowds. An essentially private celebration will be held on August 4, her birthday. Organisers are finalising the details, but she is expected to appear outside Clarence House before spending the day with the Queen.
The pageant will begin when the Queen Mother and Prince Charles travel from Clarence House, her London home, in their carriage escorted by the Household Cavalry. As she arrives at Horse Guards Parade, the Queen Mother will be greeted by massed and mounted bands, the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and a 1,000-strong choir.
Nearly 30 members of the Royal Family and 1,000 readers of The Sunday Telegraph will be among the guests at the pageant. There will be a giant birthday card for the Queen Mother and a drop of 1,000 rose petals. Sir John Mills, the veteran actor, director and producer who first appeared on stage in 1929, will make an address paying tribute to the Queen Mother, whom he recently described as "the most wonderful lady in the land".
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Diana's playground where every child can be Peter Pan(Electronic Telegraph)
By Jo Knowsley

THE teepees are up, the pirate ship is finished, and a crocodile lazes on the beach - although it has yet to start ticking. Nearby, totem poles carved by Native American Indians guard the site, with the message: this is a sanctuary for all children.
The Telegraph has been given an exclusive preview of the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Playground, in Kensington Gardens, London, and discovered how it has been designed to allow all children, whatever their abilities, to play together.
The £1.7 million playground has some conventional play equipment - swings, slides and climbing frames. It also has, however, more subtle features designed to stimulate children's imaginations.
In the beach cove, concrete, sand-blasted to look like the real thing, carries tiny footprints and imprints of fossils. Submerged in the main pool are plugs which allow children to alter the direction of the water flow. A nearby rock bears the imprint of a mermaid's tail, together with her handprint.
On the pirate ship, a fully rigged, three-tiered, hand-crafted wooden galleon, there is a hidden passage between decks, and children can attempt to refloat the beached vessel by shifting sand out of the hull on a trolley system.
There is the Movement and Musical Garden, where children can create tunes on a variety of interactive instruments; the Tree House Encampment, suitable for wheelchair users; "tree-phones" where children can communicate across the playground. Even the sheep - hand-carved wooden figures that double as seats - are friendly-looking.
An earlier playground on the site was funded by J M Barrie, whose Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens was published in 1906. Barrie lived in the area and walked daily in the gardens. The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Playground, designed for children up to 12, maintains this historical link, although designers have taken great care not to turn it into a theme park.
Images from Thirties' illustrations of Peter Pan are etched into the glass in The Home Under The Ground, where the Lost Boys live, which houses the lavatories and the playground attendant's office. The pirate ship and the crocodile (made of stones from a Welsh quarry) also echo the children's tale. The link, however, is a loose one.
Jennette Emery-Wallis, an associate with Land Use Consultants, the landscape architects for the project, said: "We wanted to create an innovative playground, rather than take the traditional approach of tarmac and play equipment, which tends to be sterile. Everything here is natural; the paths are all bound gravel and the play areas are bark chip. Willow fences divide many of the play areas. The aim is to let children decide in which way they want to play, rather than having the way they play dictated by the landscape."
Those who knew the late princess say that it is a playground that she would have adored. She loved Kensington Gardens and often walked or jogged there. Sometimes she would sit quietly under a tree reading a book, enjoying rare moments of anonymity. "Diana would have loved the complete and unstructured freedom of this playground - it was so important to her in the way she lived her life; the things she fought for," said Rosa Monckton, one of the late princess's closest friends, who visited the site last week.
"It's wonderful to have a park for children to have proper adventures, rather than stand in queues waiting to go on things. It is about as far from municipal and as close to Swallows and Amazons as you can get. There is something here for all children of all abilities. Diana had a particular affinity with children and she would have loved this for everything it is."
The playground pays some homage to the past. The entrance takes visitors past the Victorian drinking fountain, and the Elfin Oak, a gnarled, partially hollow stump from Richmond Park, carved by Ivor Innes in 1930 with the figures of fairies, elves and animals.
Ultimately, the park will be a feature on the seven-mile commemorative walk designed to remember the life of the princess. Rosa Monckton's daughter, Domenica, aged five, and the princess's last godchild, will help to open the playground officially by cutting a ribbon at a ceremony on Friday, the day before what would have been the princess's 39th birthday.
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Duchess plays down talk of remarriage (UK Times)
John Follain, Castagnetto Carducci

THE Duchess of York, fresh from her first appearance at a royal function in three years, yesterday crushed the speculation, which had been prompted by the Duke of York, that she might remarry her former husband.
Three days after she had whirled the night away at Windsor Castle at a ball to celebrate the birthdays of Prince Andrew, the Princess Royal, Princess Margaret and the Queen Mother, the duchess made her announcement at a lavish party staged by Count Gaddo della Gherardesca, her close friend. This party was held on a hilltop estate situated near his 11th-century castle at Castagneto Carducci.
"Andrew and I live in the same home with the children. Marriage or remarriage is not discussed now," the duchess said. "The important thing is the welfare of the children."
The count hosted the party, according to friends, to show that although he did not actually want to admit as much publicly, the duchess's "official relationship" was with him.
"He wants to show the world that Andrew was talking rubbish," said an Italian friend of the couple.
The pair stopped short of an explicit show of their affections, however. When Italian photographers shouted for a kiss, she shook her head and the count stood stiffly by her.
Neither the duchess nor the red-haired Gaddo, 50, have confirmed their two-year relationship. They have so far foiled the efforts of Italy's notorious paparazzi to capture their intimacy on film.
The usually tight-lipped Gaddo has, however, poured scorn on Andrew's hints, in a magazine interview, that he might remarry his former wife. "On the scale of 100-1, the chances are 1. She confides everything to me and she has said nothing of this," the count said.
Since Andrew told Tatler magazine that he did not rule out remarriage, the duchess has spent almost all her weekends at the count's sprawling estate, where locals know her as La Rossa, or "the redhead".
"I feel as if I'm at home here. I've always been welcomed by the people here in Tuscany, it's great to feel their warmth," she said.
Asked about her relationship with Gaddo, she said: "We are very good friends, it's fantastic to be here together."
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Charles abandons RAF over fee rise (UK Times)

THE Prince of Wales and other members of the royal family are being forced to use commercial flights because the government has increased the price of using the RAF squadros that was once devoted to their service, write Michael Prescott and Christopher Morgan.
Changes brought in by the Ministry of Defence mean that the royals are now charged almost £8,000 an hour for using the British Aerospace 146 aircraft of the royal squadron. Until April they were charged £1,200 an hour, but paid a separate lump sum to cover fixed costs annually.
The change resulted in Prince Charles flying to Klosters for his skiing holiday in April on British Airways - only the second time that he has used a commercial air service to travel abroad. Prince William travelled separately from his father, who arranged for him to fly with Swissair.
Buckingham Palace sources said the royals welcomed the change. "The new system, with a single hourly rate, makes it much easier for us to compare the cost of different types of travel and then choose the most cost-efficient one," said an official.
Another source said the royals started cutting down their use of the squadron last year in preparation for the new charging system. He revealed that, partly as a result, the annual report by Buckingham Palace will show the royals to have "significantly" underspent their £9.3m annual travel budget when it is published this week.
"This government has always been quietly committed to modernising the monarchy," one member of the government said last night. "This reform is helping the royals to make changes that will show them to be ever more in tune with the public.

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