All right, so...to everybody who's reading this: My name's Easter, and welcome to my very first fanfiction EVER! It's called Digi-Dorks. I'm actually posting it...which is scary. Anyway, it's supposed to be funny, kind of a play on the personalities of the digidestined. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it. PLEASE, send me feedback *sweatdrop* did that sound too desperate? ah, heehee. Well, my email is at the end of the story, so read it and write me, kay? Thanks!
Things you need to know before reading this:
1. Hardly any of the digimon appear in here. It's mostly just the
kids. Sorry, that's just the way it worked out. Gomamon's got
kind of a big part.
2. Some of the kids go slightly psycho and act like total dorks -
thus the title: Digi-dorks. This is not meant to reflect in any
way on my true feelings towards Digimon or the Digidestined. I
love them all very much *Takeru-chan!!!* So don't flame me about
it or anything, this is just fun.
3. The DISCLAIMER: *dumdumdum* I don't own Digimon and I'm not
affiliated with it at all. Trust me, if I was, there'd be changes
MAJOR changes *cough*HOTTUBSCENE*cough*
4. Anything in (parenthesis) is describing the scene. Anything in
*cute little stars* is an action, like *singing*
5. There's a reference to Sailor Moon towards the end. It's another
anime. You all should be familiar enough with Sailor Moon to get
it....if not, that's no big problem.
6. This is probably rated G or PG, there's nothing bad in here, I'm
sure a 4-year-old wouldn't flinch.
7. Wow, there's SEVEN rules for this fanfiction. Sorry about that.
8. Enjoy!!!
Digi-Dorks
(It is a typical bright, sunny day in the Digital World. Our digi-friends are currently camped at a lakeshore, but today each child is doing generally his or her own thing. Matt is sitting by the campfire, thinking of something to keep himself entertained. TK and Kari are playing a friendly game of cards. Joe is ransacking his emergency bag, looking for a mysterious object. Izzy is on his laptop. Mimi is a distance from the camp, picking flowers. Sora and Tai are deeper in the woods, exploring.....And So, the curtain on Easter's first fanfic opens.....)
(scene: Matt, by the campfire)
Matt: Our campfire is going in the middle of the day? Whose lousy idea was this???
(scene: TK and Kari, playing cards)
Kari: What's this game called, TK?
TK: *dealing cards* It's called poker.
Kari: Never heard of it...
TK: You'll like it, trust me. My big brother taught me how to do it.
(scene: deep in the woods)
Tai: Oh Sora...
Sora: Oh Tai...
Tai: Sora...
Sora: Tai...
Tai: Sora...?
Sora: Tai?!?
Biyomon & Agumon: *making smooching noises*
Sora: Hey!
Tai: Get lost!
Sora: You pink-feathered freak!
Biyomon: Look who's talking, helmet head!!!
Sora: IT'S A LUCKY HAT!!!!!!
Biyomon: *singing* Sora's got a helmet, Sora's got a helmet...
Sora: Why I oughta...
(scene: Izzy's laptop)
Izzy: Now, Tentomon, I want you to hack your way into the internal
database so that we can discover all of the nuclear secrets
the United States has to offer!! Mwahahaha!!!
Tentomon: But, Izzy-
Izzy: No 'buts', Tentomon. Hack! Now!
Tentomon: But, Izzy, I just can't...
Izzy: Tentomon! Don't MAKE me get out the bug spray!!!
(scene: Mimi, picking flowers)
Mimi: la de da...
Numemon: Will you go out with me?!?
Mimi: What?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Help me!!!!
Numemon: Wait!!! I have something for you!
Mimi: ........what is it........?
Numemon: Look! It's....a new outfit......O_o!!!
Mimi: *gasp* No!!! Must...resist....don't take it, Mimi!!!!
Numemon: Just walk this way...
Mimi: ...just...say...no....Aargh! I WANT THOSE CLOTHES!!!!
Numemon: That's right...this way...
(scene: Joe & his duffel bag)
Joe: *searching frantically*
Gomamon: Whatcha looking for, Joe?
Joe: D-aaah! Uh, nothing!!!!
(scene: TK and Kari)
Kari: Wow, I win again. Poker sure is fun!
TK: Yeah, sure. I fold.
(scene: Matt)
Matt: I am _so_ bored. Hmmmm...that fire's really hot. Wonder what would happen if I put one of those Yokomon in there...
(scene: woods. Sora's really socking Biyomon good)
Tai: Sora? Sora!?! Please stop! We've gotta get back to the
others- they'll be worried- Sora?
Sora: *between punches* Y'know, Tai, I've had..ugh!...just about...
argh!....enough of you!!! UNGH!!!
*Tai & Agumon back off*
Sora: Take that! UGH!!!! And that! Ya feel sorry yet?!!?!?!?! Do
ya??!??! Well, do ya, PUNK??!?!?!?
(scene: deeper within the woods)
Mimi: Mmmmm...clothes...
Numemon: That's right, keep coming...this way...perfect!
Mimi: *suddenly trapped in a cage* Wha....?
Numemon: *evil laugh* Now we will use you as bait to capture those
worthless digidestined!!!!
Mimi: We? Who's 'we'?
Numemons: Us!!!
*10,000 or so Numemons come out of nowhere and surround Mimi*
Mimi: ...Madre de Dios...
(scene: Matt, flicking anything flammable into the fire)
Matt: Wow, who'd a thought a little campfire would make that Yokomon yell and scream so much. Well *looks at a pile of ashes at his feet* guess it won't be yelling and screaming anymore. Say, I wonder what the fire'll do to Palmon...
(scene: Joe, dumping out the emergency supplies)
Gomamon: Joe, what ARE you doing???
Joe: Argh! Uh...nothing....
(scence: Izzy, at his laptop)
Izzy: Excellent...EXXcellent...!!!
Tentomon: Izzy, I think it's best to-
Izzy: Be quiet, Tentomon, while I adjust your wires to make you into
a walking nuclear arsenal!!! Mwahahahahha!!!!
Tentomon: But Izzy, isn't that-
Izzy: Come on Tentomon, don't be a baby. This is the true Japanese
spirit. Y'know, kamikaze...hara kiri...now, if I just twist
this here....
(scene: somewhere in the woods...)
Tai: Wow, Sora, that was really something. I never knew you could
beat someone up so good!!!
Sora: *bawling* Oh, Tai, you wouldn't understand...I'VE HAD SUCH A
TERRIBLE PAST!!!!!!WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Tai: Aaaaaaah...um....it's okay?
Sora: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tai: It's okay! It's okay!!!
Mysterious Voice: ....help me.....
Tai & Sora: huh????
Mysterious Voice: ....Help me!!!Please!!!
Sora: What was that???
Tai: I don't know. Let's go check it out!
(scene: TK & Kari)
TK: ...
Kari: ...
TK: ...
Kari: I am _so_ bored.
TK: Me too.
Kari: So whad'ya wanna do?
TK: I dunno.
Kari: Me neither.
TK: I am _so_ bored.
Kari: Me too.
TK & Kari: *sigh*
(scene: back in the woods)
Mysterious Voice: Help meeeeeeee!!!
Tai: Hey, it's Mimi!
* Yes, the mysterious voice is in fact revealed to be Mimi*
*big surprise there*
Sora: Mimi!?! What are you doing in this cage?
Mimi: Oh, Tai, Sora, it's you. Listen, can you get me out of here?
My pores are drying out and I REALLY need some exfoliating
cream. Or maybe you have some on you.....
Numemon: *insert dramatic background music of your choice here*
Nobody's going anywhere!!!
Tai: What?!?! *failing to comprehend* What do you mean???
Numemon: We were only using the girl as bait for the rest of you
digidestined!!!
Tai: So you're saying, you were only using Mimi as bait to get the
rest of us digidestined...?
Numemon: Wrong! We were only using her as bait to get the rest of
you digidestined! Now you are trapped here...for all
eternity!!! Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!
Tai & Sora: *trapped in the cage* Heeeeeeeeelp!!!!!!!!!
Numemon: *evil laugh* There is no escape!!!
Mimi: Whoops. My bad....
(scene: Joe, rummaging through Mimi's cosmetics:
Joe: Where IS it? I've gotta find it! Ohhh, where could it be???
Ooo, NICE color eyeshadow for me. Ah! I mean....where is that
darn thing???
Gomamon: C'mon Joe, tell me what you're up to.
*frantic beeping from underneath a heavy book*
Joe: Ah! at last. Here it is! *pulls out his digivice*
Gomamon: What's this??? *reading book cover* Advanced Calculus
for Today's Collegiate. Joe, you're not even in high school
yet!!! And it's summer!!!
Joe: Umm....It's important to start early? *sweatdrop*
Gomamon: You really are a loser.
*Joe's digivice beeps. Tai appears on it*
Tai: Joe!
Joe: Tai?
Tai: Hey, listen, I'm stuck in a cage with Sora- *high pitched
whining in the background* - and...well, we need some help.
Call whoever's there and come find us. We're somewhere in the
woods. I-
*Tai fades out. Punches, kicks, screaming and crying are heard
in the background. Image blanks and Joe's digivice flashes a
message*
Joe's Digivice: This is your friendly neighborhood digimonitor
speaking. The digidestined who last contacted you is
unavailable. Connection has been terminated. For
digivice 'repairs with flair' go to Yokomon's digi-
repair center. Located in the middle of a great big
field in the middle of one of the islands in digi-
world. This is your friendly neighborhood digi-
monitor speaking. Thank you for your time. Your
business is important to us.
Gomamon: @#$*&%*^????
TK: *overhearing* Hmmm? Hey, Matt, what does @#$*&%*^ mean???
Matt: *engaged in a struggle with Palmon next to the campfire* TK!!!
If I EVER hear you saying words like that again, your digmon
and Kari's are gonna be digi-shishkabob over this campfire.
Understand?!!?!?!
Kari: Idle threats you make!!!
Matt: Don't bet on it. I know exactly where Patamon and Gatomon are,
and you know as well as I do that Metal-Garurumon could beat
both of them to a pulp with his eyes closed!!!
TK: Patamon!!!
Kari: Gatomon!!!
TK: Okay, I'll be more careful...
Matt: *resuming his fight with Palmon* Perfect!!!
Joe: Um, excuse me...everybody?
*everyone ignores him*
Joe: Ah...pardon me?
*everyone ignores him*
TK: *at Izzy's laptop* Hey, Izzy, what does @#$*&%*^ mean?
Izzy: WHAT??? I PLEAD THE FIF- oh, TK, Kari, it's you.
Kari: What are ya doin?
Izzy: Hey you two...how would you like to be able to push a button
and make everything within 10 miles of you dissolve into a
fiery hell?
TK & Kari: Gee, that'd be great!!!
Izzy: Alright, just strap these onto yourselves...
Joe: *trying to rally the others* Could I have everyone's attention,
please?
Gomamon: You gotta be more forceful, Joe. Remember how we practiced
being assertive the other day? Try it.
Joe: *deep breath* LISTEN TO ME, @#$*&%*^!!!!
*silence*
TK & Kari: Wooooooooooah.........
Matt: *letting Palmon go* I never knew Joe could swear like that...
Izzy: Tentomon, he emitted a force nearly one-half that of the
nuclear warheads I just strapped to TK and Kari!!!
Gomamon: Go ahead, Joe, tell them what you have to say.
Joe: I.....*faints*
Gomamon: *sweatdrop* Typical Joe.
(scene: deep in the woods, where Mimi's pores are rapidly dehydrating)
Mimi: Cheer up, guys, I'll sing a song:
*singing*
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth,
My two front teeth, my two fro-
Sora: *rising* Mimi, I don't think you'll have to wait until
December to want your two front teeth!!!
*Sora lunges at Mimi. The two get into a fight on the dusty
floor of the cage, with Sora threatening and Mimi squealing.
Tai watches the whole thing from the safety of his corner, very
much amused*
(scene: TK, Kari, Matt, Izzy, Gomamon, & an unconcious Joe, on the shore of the lake)
Kari: Gomamon, why don't YOU tell us what Joe was about to say.
Gomamon: Me? Well, uh, he got a message from Tai saying that Sora,
Mimi, and Tai were trapped somewhere in the woods.
Everyone: WHAT!!?!?!?!?
Matt: Not again...
Izzy: Let's approach this logically. I'm sure that (using our digmon
as distractions) we can sneak TK and Kari into the Numemon
hideout and force them to detonate themselves, reducing the
enemy base to a pile of dust!!!!
Matt: Izzy, what are you talking about?
*TK & Kari lift up their shirts to reveal a complete underlayer
of nuclear stockpilings - like a bulletproof vest, only made
from nukes*
Matt: What the @#$*&%*^!!! Izzy! You turned my kid brother into a
walking bomb!!!
TK: Matt, what does @#$*&%*^ mean?
Matt: TK!!!!
Izzy: That's precisely what I did, Matt. Those bomb will save us,
and our digimons, a lot of trouble, and get the job done much
more efficiently. No fuss, no muss. In Tai's oh-so-imbecilic
terms, it'll 'make the bad guys go boom' !!!!
Joe: *waking up* huh? Where was I?
Gomamon: You're just in time, Joe. We're about to sacrifice TK and
Kari and save Tai, Sora and Mimi.
Joe: Oh yeah...
Matt: Well, I'm not sure I agree with Izzy's plan, but let's at least
start towards the numemon hideout. We'll talk on the way there.
(scene: Tai, Sora & Mimi in their cage. Sora & Mimi are silently nursing their wounds while glaring at each other. Sora has a black eye and bloody lip, while Mimi's long hair has been sadly torn and tangled)
Tai: Whoa. That was some catfight!!!
Sora: grrrrrr......
Mimi: SHUT UP TAI!!!!
Tai: What? I was just saying-
Sora: Yeah, we KNOW Tai.
Mimi: Better watch your mouth...
Tai: But I was only-
Sora & Mimi: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHH!!!
*the girls attack Tai*
(scene: somewhere in the woods...)
Izzy: Prodigious! I'm getting readings from this strange plant.
It's energy may be useful in creating my own series of chemical
and biological weapons...
Palmon: Hey, Izzy...quit looking at me that way...
Matt: Will you guys just SHUT UP??? We need to keep out minds
focused on what we're doing here!
TK: Hunting for Easter eggs?!?!
Matt: You little @#$- uh, I mean, no, little brother. We've gotta
find Tai, Sora, and Mimi. We don't know what could have
happened to them.
Joe: I heard some noise when Tai contacted me. Whatever's happening,
I'm sure it's violent.
Kari: *holds up a giant colorful object* Hey, look!!! I found one
of those Easter eggs!!!
Matt: @#$*&%*^!!!!!!!!
TK: Joe, what does @#$*&%*^ mean?
Matt: TK!!!!!!! Kari, put that down! Or Gatomon is digi-chow!!!!
* Kari drops the digi-egg. It cracks open and out pops....the
cute and cuddly digimon known as Furbymon!!!*
Kari: How cute!!! Teeheehee!!!!
Everybody: How cute!!!
Furbymon: Me love you!!!
Kari: Awwwww.....
Everybody: Awwwww.....
(scene: Back at the Numemon hideout. Tai, Sora and Mimi have each occupied a corner of the cage. They all have fresh wounds. Tai is fading in and out of conciousness)
Numemon: We bring you food.
* it sets down a plate with three pink globs on it*
Mimi: Iiiiiiiick.......
Sora: I feel ill......
(scene: somewhere else in the woods, where the group is still trying to find the Numemon hideout. Several hours have elapsed since the furbymon joined them)
Furbymon: Hug me!!!
Matt: ......will you make that thing SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP!!!!!!!I
can't hear myself THINK!!!!!
Kari: I suppose it IS getting a bit tiresome. Alright, Furbymon, you
can stop it now.
Furbymon: Me hungrey!!!
Joe: We all are! Make it be quiet!!!
Kari: That's enough, Furbymon.
Furbymon: Feed me!!!!!
TK: We can't even feed ourselves!!!
Kari: Quit joking around, Furbymon, it's time to be quiet.
Furbymon: Want food!!!Want food!!!!
Izzy: Kari....IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD WILL YOU
MAKE THAT ^*%&* PIECE OF @#$*&%*^ SHUUUUUUT UUUUUUUPPPP!!!!!
*silence*
Furbymon: Feed me!!!!
TK: Matt, what does @#$*&%*^ mean?
Matt: I'll deal with you later TK!!! Kari, you give that Furbymon to
me.
Kari: Y- you're not gonna hurt it, are you Matt?
Matt: @#$- JUST- just....give it to me, Kari.
*Kari hands it over. Matt cradles it in one hand, while
lifting the other hand - with a rock in it - high above his
head*
CCCCCC - RRRRR - UUUUUU - NNNNNNN - CCCCCCC - HHHHHHHHH - !!!!!!!!1
Matt: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! IT BIT ME!!!! THAT @#$*&%*^$*(@#%(^%*$#
HAS MY FINGER!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!!
TK: Izzy, what does @#$*&%*^ mean?
(scene: the Numemon hideout. Tai is just coming to)
Numemon: Hullo? Hullo? Can you hear us? We have something important
to tell you. We've decided your friends aren't coming, and
we're going to dress you in traditional native costume and
boil you alive in oil.......in one hour. Goodbye.
Tai, Sora & Mimi: WHAT!!?!?!
Sora: So this is it. It's the end. It's all over. And we'll never
see our friends again!!! Not Matt, or Joe, or Izzy, or TK, or
Kari....ever again!
Mimi: *deep in thought* (for once) ...but you know...Joe was always such an
annoying worrywort...
Sora: ...and Izzy's just a computer geek, anyway...
Mimi: ...TK's a freakish little pervert...
Sora: ...Kari sounds like she's got a cold when she talks...
Mimi: ...and Matt...
Sora: *sigh* ...yeah...Matt...
Mimi: ...Matt...is....
Sora & Mimi: ....perfect...*sigh*
Tai: WHAT? What about me? Hey, I'm the one about to die here!!!
Sora: Hmm? Did you hear something, Mimi?
Mimi: ...not a thing...
Sora & Mimi: *sigh*
Tai: geez...
(scene: Just outside of the Numemon camp, our digi-heroes have discovered where their friends are being held captive)
Matt: Thanks for bandaging up my hand, Izzy. Boy, am I glad that
Furbymon ran off after biting me. But who ever knew a little
Furbymon could be so vicious?
Izzy: Right, no problem, Matt. And if you look hard, you'll see
that inside each of your wounds, I've inserted a tiny nuclear
missle, set to go off at the moment your brain triggers it.
Each one's got a devastation radius of 30 feet.
Matt: gee...thanks, Izzy.
Izzy: No problem, buddy. It's what friends are for!
Joe: So, what's our plan of getting Tai, Sora and Mimi out of here?
Izzy: I think it would be best to deploy TK and Kari so that they
can detonate themselves at ground zero and destroy the Numemon
base in one shot.
Matt: Or how about we just send our digimon in there to get them?
Joe: That's probably the plan we should use.
TK: Hey......where ARE our digimon?
Matt: What??? They ditched us! Those cowards!!!!
Joe: So...what're we gonna do now???
Izzy: I may have a strategy we can implement in this situation....
Matt: Heaven help us.....
(much whispering goes on behind the bush. Meanwhile, 10 feet away...)
Numemon: It is time!!!
Mimi: What? How did that hour go by so quickly??? Oh yeah...Matt...
*sigh*
Numemon: Put these on
*The numemon hands the children feathered headdresses of more
pink gunk*
Mimi: yuck!
*The Numemon march their prisoners to the vat of boiling oil..
just as they're about to be thrown in...*
Matt: Stop right there!!!
Sora & Mimi: YAMA-SAMA!!!!! *sigh*
*Matt stands triumphantly atop an ancient cardboard box, his
little brother at his side. Both boys have donned the
'sailor' style, shamelessly flaunting themselves in little
more than female swimsuits with gloves, bows, and mini-skirts.
Cloaked in this apparel, they resembled nothing so much as a
couple of misplaced cheerleaders on Halloween.*
Matt: I won't let you throw two innocent girls into a vat of boiling
fluid! For attempting this, I can't forgive you!
For Love and Justice,
Sailor-Suited Pretty Soldiers:
Sailor Matt!!!
TK: And....Sailor TK!!!
Matt: In the name of Ishida.....
Matt & TK: YOU'RE PUNISHED!!!
* These two are followed by Izzy, Joe and Kari, all wearing the
colorful sailor suits modeled by Matt and TK. Proudly,
our digi-sailor-heroes confront the Numemon*
Izzy: Don't move! Underneath each one of these sailor fukus is
enough gunpowder to send this place up like a Japanese Fourth
of July!!!!
TK: Now let our friends go...or else!!!
Numemons: You don't scare us! We're onto your nuclear arms race,
Izumi, and in preparing for this glorious day, we placed
a nuclear barrier in this area. Your bombs are useless
here.
Izzy: It's bluffing!
Joe: How can we be sure?
Izzy: Uh...Let's detonate TK! This place will burn to dust, and
we'll be free, I'm sure of it!!!
*Izzy removes the brooch from the bow on his sailor uniform and
pops it open. Inside is a red button labeled "Failsafe"
Izzy pushes it*
Izzy: Wha....?
*nothing happens*
Izzy: There appears to be a virus in my system. I hadn't accounted
for this...
Matt: What are you saying?
Izzy: The bombs are defective!!!
Sora & Mimi: *being pushed into the oil* Save us, Yama-sama!!!
Matt: As it is, I can't DO anything in this three-inch skirt!!!
Sora & Mimi: Yaaaaaammaaaaaaaaa-Saaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
TK: Is this IT?!?!?!
Kari: No! This can't be the end!!!
Joe: SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!
*Tai, Sora and Mimi teeter on the edge of the fiery liquid..as
their best friends stand helpless, without digimon or bombs,
multicolored miniskirts flapping aimlessly in the breeze...
It seems as though there is no hope....*
Furbymon: * suddenly appearing * Me love you!!!
Everyone: Furbymon?!?
Matt: Hey, for once I'm glad to see you.
Numemon: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! It's a Furbymon!!!
* The Fubymon faces the Numemon and shoots out pink light from
its heart, crying:*
Furbymon: ME LOVE YOU!!!!!
Numemons: AAAAAAAAHHH! It's using the "Me Love You" attack!!!
HEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP!!!!
*The Numemons run, howling from their camp. The digidesined
are left alone, saved from almost certain death at the hands
of the Numemon*
Sora & Mimi: *cuddling up to Matt* Oh, Yama-sama.....
Tai: So, uh...what do we do now?
Joe: Well...
Kari: Um...
Matt: First- we change outta these clothes!!!
Kari, TK, Izzy & Joe: Yeah!!!
Joe: *blushes* I'd have to agree with Matt on that one...
Matt: Then- we go find those sorry, cowardly digimon of ours and make
them PAY for backing out on us!!!
Everyone: Yeah!!!
Izzy: Then- we develop stronger, more potent nuclear explosives,
resistant to any shields, and strap them to the backs of EVERY
digimon we can find!!!!!!
Everyone: Y- uh...... *sweatdrop*
Tai: Well, everyone, let's get going!
*The eight children, reunited at last, skip arm in arm towards
the distant sunset. They are triumphant and ready to take on
whatever challenges await them....together*
Joe: Hey, wait!
Everyone: Awwwwwww.....Joooooooeeeeee........
Matt: What is it, Joe?
Joe: Well, look...
*behind the children is none other than their cute and cuddly
rescuer, Furbymon. It leaps into Matt's arms*
Furbymon: Me love you!!!
Matt: *sweatdrop*
THE END
So, did everyone- wait, cancel that. . . Did ANYONE enjoy it? This is my first fanfic so be nice, and send me your comments. Should I do "Digi-dorks: part two", or should I quit posting fanfiction altogether? Write me at: chibi_naoko@hotmail.com I love to get email, so send me plenty ^_^ By the way, (I thought this was interesting) Here's the way some of the 'digi-terms' I used showed up on spellcheck: digimon = dickinson digiworld = dignitary digidestined = disillusioned Tai = Thai Izzy = Iffy Mimi = Miami TK = Take Kari = Karma Furbymon = foregone Cute, huh? Love you all! Till we meet again... easter chibi_naoko@hotmail.com
