"INNER TURMOIL"

By Sounasha, A.K.A Danielle

***NOTE: This story was inspired by the episode where Matt is convinced by Cherrymon that to become stronger, he must fight Taichi Kamiya. He seemed evil at the time, and the ep had a lot of introspection. This is my first fic that involves a ton of introspection. Don't get me wrong- I think Matt's the best and he'd probably never turn out like this (I hope)- but I started writing and this is how it turned out. Also: If you're having a hard time reading it because each paragraph is one line, use word wrap or copy and paste to your typing program- Word or whatever you may have. THIS IS AN ALTERNATE HISTORY. I have ignored all I have heard about (or by the time some people read this, all I have seen) in the second season of Digimon, and some of the stuff in the first season. Feedback to Roleplayer@ispchannel.com.***

~*~

The pounding of the torrentous waterfall into the quiet pool below did not mask the snapping and crackling of someone crashing through the brush of the digiworld forest. The sounds grew louder and louder until finally the source of the clamour broke through the trees and into the clearing. Wild blonde hair sat rakishly atop the head of the teenager, nearly falling into his stormy, deep blue eyes. His brow was furrowed in an angered scowl as the boy leaned against the rock cliff that the waterfall plummeted down.

Yamato "Matt" Ishida looked down at his fists, now clenched as fury-filled thoughts raced through his head. He had just fought with Taichi "Tai" Kamiya for the second time that day. Suddenly he turned and slammed his fist against the wall, sobs of rage and self-pity wracking his slim frame as the skin split and bled. He welcomed the pain and punched the wall again and again, thoughts slamming about in his head just as his bloody fist slammed against the cliff face.

You idiot! They’d be better off without you. All you ever do is fight with Tai and disrupt the group from within. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Why do you stay with them? T.K. doesn’t need you anymore. No one else needs you. WHY DO YOU STAY?!

With a strangled sob, he hit the rock with the side of his fist but didn’t draw it back. He slid down the wall, kneeling, his blood-slick hand and his forehead resting against the immobile stone. They don’t need me. And I don’t need them. We’d all be better off if I was away from the group.

"Matt?"

The boy looked up, face unreadable despite the tears that stained it. Deep blue eyes met his digimon’s concerned ones. "Go back to the group, Gabumon," Yamato said impassively.

The St. Bernard digimon walked over to his friend. "No, Matt. I am your friend. Friends do not abandon each other when they are in need!"

The blonde teen laughed harshly, bitterly. "Says a lot about me, doesn’t it."

Gabumon put a paw on Matt’s shoulder. "I do not care what you think. No matter what, I am staying with you, my friend." In a rare moment of humor, the vaccine digimon smiled. "You cannot get rid of me. I’m like a bad penny. I always come back."

Yamato nodded and rose. "All right, Gabu. But I’m leaving the digidestined."

Gabumon nodded sagely. "I thought you might. I won’t try to change your mind, but I think you are making the wrong decision."

Matt’s fists clenched momentarily as he rose. When he finally spoke, his voice was tight and hard. "Think what you like, Gabumon." He spun on his heel and stalked off. Gabumon shook his head and followed his digipartner.

~*~

A huge, fiery, fanged bird winged her way above the plains, a woman standing on her talons. The adult's blue eyes were aged with the trials of ten years, but still held nearly unconditional love and compassion. She was still the most mature of the group, even after a decade. Nearby, a four-winged angel flew, a stony-faced teenager on his hand. All the innocence of ten years before was gone from those blue eyes, replaced by a resolution to how things were.

Below walked several champion-level digimon and theiri humans. A horned walrus swam in the river that wound through the grassy plains, easily keeping pace with the ground-shaking lope of a huge yellow dinosaur. Atop the walrus' back was a tall, lanky adult, glasses long replaced by contacts, dark blue hair still the same as ten years before. Riding on the dinosaur's masked head was a somewhat short adult in his twenties, a year or so younger than the one riding the ikkakumon. Goggles still rested on the two-big dark brown hair, and brown eyes still held laughter as they had a decade earlier. He had not changed much, except for maturing in both body and mind.

Nearby ran a huge cactus with red boxing gloves. One one glove sat a pink-clad brunette with a large, pink ten-gallon hat. She had changed nearly as much as the teen on the angemon. Outwardly, her looks had only improved, womanly beauty replacing girlish prettiness. Inwardly, she had changed much. The woman was no longer a prissy, spoiled ditz. She had matured, becoming less squeamish and less scared of everything that ran across her path.

On the togemon's other fist stood a small cat-like digimon and a girl of about eighteen years or so. Mouse-brown hair reached down to her shoulders, then curved inward, framing a round face that still held innocence- and something more. It held wisdom. The light brown looked about with an unreadable light as the teen rested a pale hand on the blue-and-white champion-level digimon, uncharacteristically small for her level.

Just above them, but below the birdramon and angemon, flew a large blue and black insect, a short adult boy atop his hard-shelled back between the four swiftly beating translucent wings. Dark eyes with no hint of irises still held an insatiable curiousity, but also a withdran mirror-like quality as he looked down at the laptop on his digimon's back. Yellow-gloved fingers danced across the keyboard as he worked.

The greymon suddenly halted and growled to the girl with the gatomon. She nodded and grasped her silver whistle, then blew two short blasts. The whole group stopped, and the fliers landed. Each human climbed down off their digimon and gathered together- all except one.

"Izumi?" the man with the greymon called to the one with the computer. No response. He grimaced and raised his voice. "IZZY!"

The twenty-year-old started and looked up. "Hunh?"

"Put the computer down and come over here!"

He grinned sheepishly and climbed down off Kabuterimon. "Sorry, Tai."

The redhead with the birdramon rolled her eyes slightly. "I suppose you found something out?"

"Sure did, Sora," Izzy affirmed. His face turned thoughtful. "I found a digivice signal a few miles north."

They all stared at him. The brunette found her voice first.

"WHAT?! Who??"

Izzy shrugged. "I don't know, Mimi. I think..." He hesitated, uncertain.

"Yeees?" Tai prompted.

Koushiro took a deep breath. "I think it may be Matt."

They all fell silent, stunned. ~Matt.~ He'd been gone for ten long years- so long, in fact, that his memory had begun to fade from their minds, so long that they believed him dead.

Tai's feelings were mixed. All he'd ever felt about Matt, mainly, was that the blonde teenager- now an adult- was cold, aloof, a rebel- Tai's rival. Yet he had also been, in a strange way, a friend. Taichi had to admit that Yamato had been an asset to their fight against the digiworld evils.

Izzy looked around at the champion level digimon. Throughout the decade, they'd risen to champion level on their own, from age and experience. Rather than being constantly in rookie level, while digivolving only temporarily, they were now usually in champion form. He guessed that they'd soon grow to permanently ultimate form- they'd digivolved to Champion level seven years before. Gabumon would be Garurumon now- or maybe even Weregarurumon.

Sora, for her part, wasn't sure of her own feelings. If Matt rejoined the group, she'd have to keep Tai and Matt for fighting- unless both of them had matured. But... how much, and in what way, had Matt changed?

...and that was the main point, Mimi thought. How much had the guy who once arrogantly called himself "da man" changed? He had left after that argument with Tai- she didn't remember what it was even about. For all they knew, he might be evil- or as argumentative as before.

"No."

The eighteen-year-old with the angemon had spoken, forcefully, his voice cold and hard.

"What do you mean, Takeru?" the blue-haired man queried, confused.

"I mean, Joe, that it isn't Matt!" Takeru, once called T.K., had a face of stone as he spoke.

~T.K.'s changed more than the rest of us,~ the girl with the gatomon thought. "Why don't you think it's Matt?" she asked softly.

He turned to regard her calmly, though his eyes held... grief? Anger? "How COULD it be him, Kari? Matt is DEAD!"

~Yes... Takeru has changed the most.~ Once innocent, playful, and on occasion, strangely mature, Yamato's younger brother had changed drastically with the teen's disappearance. When Matt hadn't returned, T.K. had gone into a state of stunned shock. His hope alone kept him thinking that the one he looked up to and loved was still alive, would still return. Matt had difficulty showing his love for his brother, but did indeed show it, in his gruff, protective way- and Takeru had understood. Yet when Yamato did not return, the boy lost hope. His strongest quality still manifested itself in some ways- hope that the DigiDestined would win a fight, for instance- but it had diminished. He was no longer innocent, no longer the open, friendly, sweet child he once was. T.K. had definently changed more than anyone else in the group.

"How do you know? We THOUGHT he was dead... but maybe he's not!" Sora said.

Takeru shook his head, a wild fear- a fear of hoping?- in his eyes. "NO! He would have come back if he was alive! He CAN'T be alive, because he wouldn't leave us- wouldn't leave ME!" He ended this last in a strangled sob, sinking to the ground. Angemon and Kari moved toward him, and both laid a hand on his shoulders. He reached up and grasped both their hands, welcoming the supposrt of his friends as he battled with his grief and despair at losing his brother.

"Why'd he leave?" Takeru sobbed. Restraint had never been his strong point. Like his brother, he felt emotions to extremes, but unlike Matt, the younger digidestined had no qualms about showing his feelings. Angemon and Kari were silent, lending support to their friend.

At last the wracking sobs subsided, and Takeru took in a deep, shuddering breath. He rose, still grasping the hands of Hikari and his digimon.

"Let's go find that digivice."

~*~

"M'lord!"

The cloaked figure on the dias of the immense stone castle turned at the quavering voice. The garuru-blue cloak swirled about his feat as he moved, the cowl obscuring his features.

"What news, Ravenmon?" The voice was sinister and harsh. As far as the black raven knew, it had always been that way- but it had not.

"Sir... the DigiDestined are coming this way!"

The sharp intake of breath from beneath the blue cowl startled the ravenmon. "DigiDestined!" He put a gloved hand- a HUMAN hand- on the garurumon beside him. THe digimon was as surprised as the cloaked figure, and looked up to see the human's reaction.

He took in a deep breath. "Seven of them? With Champion level digimon?"

"Yes, Master Ishida."

A long silence. Then- "Do not kill them."

"WHAT?! Milord!"

The human stiffened beneath his cloak, angered. "You would reject my decision?"

"No, Lord Yamato, but... Don't kill them?" the ravenmon stammered.

"DO NOT QUESTION ME! HOWLING BLASTER!" Blue energy flew from the human's outstretched hands and consumed the shrieking ravenmon.

Garurumon shook his head. "Matt... You should not kill your underlings."

Gloved hands reached upwards and pushed back the garuru-blue hood, revealing a wiry adult with deep-blue eyes and wild blonde hair. Often his eyes were narrowed, his expression reminding Garurumon of the time he'd fought Tai, saying "No, Tai. I won't," to the other boy's command to call MetalGarurumon off of Agumon. He'd been almost an alien then, face cold and heart in turmoil. The blue wolf had never guessed that his digipartner would ever constatnly look that way- but now he was. Matt had wanted to digivolve, he'd said... and he had. Not mentally- unless it was like Greymon digivolving to SkullGreymon- but physically. His close bond with his digimon, as well as his cloak and crest, had enabled him to fight with Garurumon's attacks.

"We will not kill them," Yamato Ishida said to Garurumon and the dead Ravenmon, voice cold but eyes showing the turmoil that wracked his soul. "We will capture them."

~*~

"HALT!"

The voice sounded almost like a caw, but certaintly held a challenging note. Immediately, the digidestined's digimon were on guard, ready to attack, searching for movement, ears straining to hear a noise to direct their attack to.

A fluttering drew the attention of the fourteen beings. A jet-black raven landed before them on bright orange claws. He spread his wings in a guesture of peace and clacked his beak, adjusting the blue, gold, and white neckerchief around his neck before speaking.

"Don't attack! I come as a messenger only."

Tai stepped forward boldly. "Then what do you want?"

Atop Kabuterimon, Izzy tapped on his computer. His brow furrowed as the information popped up. "Ravenmon. Sometimes vaccine, sometimes virus." He scowled. "Well, that sure helps..."

Sora's light-brown eyes flicked toward the computer expert questioningly. He shook his head and shrugged. She raised her eyebrows and whispered to Tai, who frowned in confusion.

The ravenmon's beady eyes tracked the exchange, but he pretended not to notice anything, instead answering Taichi's question. "I am to bring you to Lord Matomon, if you will come." A gleam appeared in his beady eyes. Yamato had warned him not to reveal his master's identity, and to use the name Matomon instead- on pain of death. At this last, Garurumon shook his head sadly, but remained silent.

Tai's bronw eyes narrowed, and he made an almost mperceptable motion of his hand. Greymon's muscles tensed, ready to attack if need be. "Who is this 'Lord Matomon', and what does he want?"

The ravenmon smiled, a strange expression on a bird's beak. "Lord Mato is my master. He says to tell you that he has a..." The bird frowned, feigning stupidity. "A... vice? Digital something?"

Izzy's eyes gleamed. "Digivice?"

Ravenmon clacked his beak and nodded. "That's what it is. A digivice. And a ridge."

Mimi blinked, confused. "A ~ridge~??"

The sly digimon pretended to think. "A hilltop? Mountaintop? It starts with a 'c'. And it's shiny."

"A crest!" Takeru said suddenly.

"That's it!" Ravenmon affirmed. In pretending to forget what he was supposed to tell them, the bird had increased the humans' curiousity and brought down their guard.

"Anything else?" Kari queried.

Ravenmon frowned. "Yeah... something else... something important..." He winced. "He TOLD me not to forget it... now I'll get half-rations for a week..." Actually, if this were the case, the bird would be killed or nearly so. However, in pretending that he'd get a mild punishment, he painted "Lord Mato" as not evil- nowhere near as evil as Devimon or some of the other evils that the digidestined had encountered.

Tai lost patience. "There's... something... really... important... and YOU FORGOT WHAT IT WAS??"

Ravenmon ducked his head, both to hide his grin and feign sheepishness. "Well... yeah..."

Tai clenched his fists, but Sora put a restraining hand on his shoulder, and he forced himself to relax. "I think he's safe, Tai," she murmured. "And if he's not, the digimon'll fight."

He nodded brusquely. "Very well, bird..."

"Ravenmon."

Tai grimaced. "...Ravenmon... Take us to this 'Lord Mato.'"

~*~

They walked or flew or loped until they reached the imposing castle of "Lord Mato". Unlike the typical bad-guy's dwelling depicted in books and movies, it was well-kempt, made of whitewashed stone. Four turrets rose from each corner of the fortress, sporting ice-blue banners trimmed with white and gold. A drawbridge of thick gold-grained timber lay across a deep, clear blue moat. No guards of any sort were in sight, only the Ravenmon perched on Greymon's horn and the seemingly stone gargoyles on the ramparts.

The digidestined crossed the sturdy drawbridge warily. A splash sounded beneath them, and a dark, serpentine shadow snaked below them in the water. Greymon noticed, and growled a low warning.

"There's something in the moat," he thundered. Tai looked downwards, suspicious.

Ravenmon glanced down as well, and gave a racous caw. "Oh, that's Seadramon. He's a moat guardian- one of them, anyway. Don't worry- he only attacks things that step in the water. THose that come across the drawbridge are safe."

Ikkakumon's eyes narrowed. "I don't like it, Joe. Could be a trap."

"Hey!" Ravenmon's sharp ears caught the walrus' low rumble. He flew over and perched on the digimon's horn, much to Ikkakumon's irritation. "It's NOT a trap! Don't worry. If you want to leave, feel free to do so. There's dangerous hostile digimon about- THAT's why we have the moat monsters." He cocked his head, oen bright eye regarding the ikkakumon. "You're all important guests, but don't flatter yourself in thinking that the defenses are all against YOU!" The bird laughed and ducked under the portcullis, winging his way toward Greymon and Tai, who were half-way across the courtyard.

"Y'know, you digimon may be a problem," the talkative Ravenmon said to Greymon. The dinosaur gave a warning rumble and shot a suspicious glare at the bird. Ravenmon shook his head. "No offense, but you're HUGE! I mean, you MIGHT fit in the Great Hall and courtroom, but not in the smaller hallways. Any suggestions?"

Greymon calmed down a little, and Tai spoke up. "I think they might be able to dedigivolve to rookie level. Greymon, whatcha think?"

"I don't know," the dinosaur rumbled. "The crow's right, though- even that door looks too small." He frowned. "Never actually TRIED to dedigivolve... except to my permanent form... I'll try, though. Get down, Tai." The man nodded and slid down the greymon's side, landing easily on the ground. His digivice blinked, Greymon glowed, and soon Agumon stood before him.

"Dude! I haven't been in rookie form for a LONG time!" the yellow digimon exclaimed.

Taichi turned to the others and raised his voice. "HEY! LISTEN UP!" The group fell silent as their leader continued his shouted message. "Ikkakumon, Birdramon, Kabuterimon, Togemon! Dedigivolve!"

Joe, Sora, Izzy, and Mimi hopped down off their digimon, who dedigivolved after a moment's hesitation. Now appropriately sized, the seven digidestined and their digimon walked cautiously into the inner castle.

The hallways of the castle were a good deal more sinister than the outside of the walls. Torchlight and arrow slits were the only source of light, creating several dark, gloomy shadows and lessening visibility. Colorful tapestries were spaced on the walls at regular intervals, depicting digimon in battle. Stone statues of all manner of digimon lined the narrow corridors, statues so realistic that it seemed real creatures had been petrified in stone.

The group passed through the halls and walked slowly into the huge Great Hall, none noticing when the statues turned their stone heads to look at the digidestined. They didn't notice the GolemCockatrimon* that flapped down from the ceiling on silent stone wings.

Ravenmon turned to the DigiDestined who were watching the silent, blue-cloaked figure on the hall's dias. "Wait here, 'kay?" he rasped, then turned and flew silently to the dias. He landed and bowed, wings outstretched.

"Lord Matomon! I have brought in your guests!"

The cowl concaved as the figure beneath it inclined his head. "Lord Mato" turned to regard the digidestined, deep blue eyes gazing out from under the shadows of the hood.

Takeru stumbled back with a sharp cry!

~*~

Yamato Ishida looked the seven digidestined over with mixed emotions as all the memories of a decade before came rushing back.

Sora. She had always stopped the fights between Tai and Matt. The mature one of the group, the redhead who held the Crest of Love was the peacemaker.

Mimi. She'd always been a ditz, but had helped the group more than once. Though spoiled, by the time he'd left, she'd begun to show that she was becoming less squeamish and prissy.

Izzy. The computer geek. He'd always had his fingers on his keyboard and his eyes glued to the computer screen. Yet, for all he was often oblivious to the outside world, he'd discovered many important tthings about the digiworld.

Kari. Tai's younger sister. Matt didn't know much about her, except that she was compassionate and mature for her age- at least, that was the case ten years before.

Joe. The "reliable" one. Yep- you could always rely on him to wimp out. Matt's mouth quirked up in a slight smile despite himself. He was brave sometimes, but a worry-wart. He often served as humor relief.

Tai. A shadow crossed Yamato's face as he regarded the cocky, energetic leader. Loud, a short attention span, and a sore loser- and winner, for that matter. OVERLY brave. He cared more about the group's mission than the group and individuals themselves.

Ishida wrenched his hate-filled glare from Tai to T.K. ~T.K...~ Yamato's brother. The one he was supposed to protect. The kid he cared about...

He turned away, unable to deal with the emotions that bubbled up- an old wound reopened by the sight of the people he once talked with, walked with, fought with and alongside- and yes, the people he once regarded as friends.

~*~

"MATT??" Takeru gasped, backing away. "You... WHY??"

~Yes...~ thought Sora, mind numbed with shock at seeing the one she'd thought dead. ~There's no mistaking those eyes.~

Tai had a little more trouble accepting the truth. "You're Matt?" he asked dubiously. "Pull off the hood, then."

Gloved hands reached up, and the blue cowl fell back, revealing wild blonde hair. The figure turned slowly, reluctantly, and lifted his blue gaze.

There was no doubt about it. The tall, lean figure before them was Yamato Ishida.

Takeru regained control of himself, his features turning immobile and unreadable.

"You left us, Matt. And you didn't come back." The words were an accusation, coming out harsh and grating on the teen's tongue.

Matt looked away, unable to meet the anger and pain in his brother's eyes. "You didn't need me." He looked down, then repeated his thoughts of ten years before. "I only served to destroy the group from within."

"DIDN'T NEED YOU?!" Tai erupted, stepping forward. "Maybe ~I~ didn't need you, but TAKERU did! We could have used you for battles... cooking..."

"T.K. didn't- doesn't- need me," Matt said harshly. "He said it himself... ten years ago.

"You're being unreasonable, Matt!" Tai snapped.

Yamato whirled on him. "No, YOU'RE being unreasonable! You're ALWAYS unreasonable!" His voice softened, mocking the digidestined leader. "Still overly concerned with the MISSION, Tai? Still don't care about the PEOPLE in the GROUP??"

Taichi glowered at Ishida. "I do care!"

Matt rocked back on his heels, amused. "Do you now?"

A simple question, but it sent Kamiya into himself. Usually Matt was the introspective one- but now the rash digidestined leader had to figure out his feelings.

"Think about it, Tai. Remember when Agumon digivolved to SkullGreymon? Remember when Devimon seperated us all and the only thing on your mind was defeating him? Remember the time at Spiral Mountain, when Mimi made graves for Chuman and Whamon and the rest- and you just wanted to climb the mountain?" Matt's voice turned cold and hard. "No, Tai. You DON'T care."

"But... I do... care..." Tai's whispered denial did not carry much weight.

"Think about it, Kamiya. NOW!" Yamato shouted suddenly.

The pounding of stone on the castle floor alerted the digidestined to the danger advancing on them and the trap that they had walked into. Tai whirled on Matt.

"WHAT are you DOING?" he yelled. "Agumon!"

"Pepper Breath!" the dinosaur said, sending fire at Matt.

"Howling Blaster!" the blue cloaked man said calmly. Blue energy flew from his hands, striking the fireball and blasting Agumon back into Tai. The digidestined could only gape at Yamato as a strange shadow entered the room. When it touched each digimon, they shrank to their in-training forms, and each digivice whent dark. The floor opened up beneath the group, and they were falling...

~*~

"Why, Matt?"

Ishida was watching the area where the digidestined had fallen, an unreadable expression on his stony features. He didn't look up at Garurumon's voice, didn't answer the wolf's query.

"Matt?" the digimon repeated. "They're your friends. Why did you betray them?"

Silence was the response from the cloaked, immobile figure. Then he spoke, not moving from where he stood. "Tai is not my friend."

Garurumon stared at Matt, aghast. "Not your friend?! YES HE IS! Even friends fight! And even if he weren't... what of the others, Matt? Izzy and Sora and Joe- and T.K.?"

Now the figure did move, wincing, the cloak rustling as he did so. "T.K... doesn't need me. And Tai needs to learn a lesson."

"And you're the all-powerful Ishida who can teach it to him?" Matt didn't reply to his digipartner's rhetorical question. Garurumon pressed on, voice softer now. "Talk to them, Matt. One at a time, if you must. Keep Wraithemon with you, if it helps. But you don't know what has happened!" He shook his striped head. "A decade has passed, Matt. They've changed. ~Just as you have.~"

Matt jerked, the last sentence hitting him like a physical blow. He pulled the cloak around him, silent. After a moment of watching him, the blue-striped wolf turned and padded away on silent paws, leaving Yamato to wrestle with his conscience.

~*~

After an hour of trying to escape the pit they were in, the digidestined gave up and collapsed on the ground in exhaustion, each deep in their own thoughts. Sora felt along the wall until she reached Tai. Setting down beside him, she leaned against the wall tiredly.

"D'ya think he's right, Sora?" Tai asked quietly. "About me not caring?"

She was silent for a long while. Then- "I don't know. Maybe it's just that you don't have a lot of... knowledge about emotions."

~I don't know.~

The words rang in Tai's ears, circling over and over in his mind. Sora was the most observant, sensitive person in the group. If she didn't know, then no one would.

He'd have to find out for himself.

~*~

"Sssora Takenouchi."

The hissing voice brought everyone awake to see a red-eyed snake-like digimon. Sora stepped forward, Tanemon at her side.

"That's me. Whta do you want?" she queried warily.

"Come. Lord Issshida wishess to ssspeak with you," the serpent replied.

"Be careful, Sora," Mimi called.

The redhead smiled at her friend. "I will be."

She turned and walked toward the snake, who grasped her in its coils and took her to the surface.

~*~

The snake escorted her past the lines of golems, who now made no attempt to pretend they were statues. A shiver ran up Sora's spine as a smirking stone ogremon leered at her and swung its club casually. She hurried onward, her feet slapping against the cold stone and the noise echoing in the near-silent corridor.

"I will take the girl now." A shadow detached itself from the wall- Sora recognized it as the one that had nullified their digivices.

The serpent bowed. "Yesss, Wraithemon." He slithered away, leaving Takenouchi to regard the shadowy Wraithemon nervously.

He beckoned with a transparent arm. "Come." Sora shivered again- his voice was cold and toneless, like one would imagine a dead thing's voice to be like. She followed nonetheless as the shadow slipped silently toward a gilded door.

The wraithemon stopped in the shadow of the doorframe and nodded to Sora. "Lord Ishida is in there, Takenouchi." She stepped toward the doorway and pushed open the door, walking into Matt's room.

Surprisingly, it was sparsely furnished. A low-slung mattress rested on a simple wooden bed, a blue blanket draped over it. Beside the bed was a nightstand that held an unlit lantern- light filtered through a glass-covered window in the ceiling. A closet probably held some clothes- but that was all.

Matt was standing by the bed, Garurumon crouching near his side calmly. The wolf nodded reassuringly to Sora, but she felt little better when she looked at the cold blue eyes of the cloaked man.

"What do you want, Matt?" she finally asked.

"Just to ask some questions- about what's happened over the last decade," he said.

"Since you left?" He nodded. "We searched for you for a month or so before giving up. Takeru didn't give up hope though- not until after a year went by and you didn't return. He lost hope, Matt!! Lost hope that you were alive- lost hope that you'd ever come back! His crest is that of hope. It's his strongest quality... but it's diminished. You took away his hope." She looked at him, brown eyes filled with accusation- a strange emotion in the usually forgiving Sora. "Oh, he still has SOME- hope that we'll win a fight, for instance... But not much."

All the color was drained from Yamato's face. His mouth worked to form words, but his throat, suddenly dry, let no sound past.

She continued relentlessly. "He's CHANGED, Matt. You can see it in his face. He's not innocent or playful or YOUNG anymore." She paused. Her voice was quiet and sad when she finally spoke again. "I can't remember the last time I've heard him laugh."

Matt turned away, unable to hide the grief and guilt that flooded his features, the shock and regret that sent a tear trickling down his cheek. Garurumon looked at him knowingly, then turned to Sora.

"I'll bring you back to the others."

~*~

They walked a ways in silence before the woman spoke. "Would you answer a few of my questions, Garurumon?"

"Depends."

She was quiet a moment, thinking. "How can he use your attacks?"

The wolf nodded. "It has something to do with the friendship between us, his crest, and his cloak."

Sora blinked, surprised. "His CLOAK?"

"It's the same color as his crest, and his crest holds it together. Next time you see him, take a look at the neck of the cloak. It's attached by his crest. The tag isn't needed anymore, though he still wears it. He found the cloak at this castle. I think the fortress is important- perhaps your cloaks are here, too," Garurumon explained.

It was a moment before the wolf's words sank in. "OUR cloaks??" she exclaimed.

The wolf nodded again. "Of course. Did you think that only Matt could use his digimon's attacks? You can, as..."

A flapping of wings and alarmed screeching interrupted the huge wolf as a Ravenmon rocketed past. "Attack!! KREE!! ATTACK!"

Garurumon growled, a low threatening sound. "Climb on, Sora!" She clambered aboard as he raced with all of his tremendous speed.

They reached the pit within minutes, and the wolf gave a howl. The serpent digimon came quickly, scales against stone barely heard above the clamour of the battle outside.

"Bring the digidestined, and hurry!" Garurumon snarled. One look at those fangs and urgent, fierce eyes, and the snake couldn't move fast enough. Soon the seven humans and their digimon were standing before the wolf.

"You're free," the digimon rumbled. "But there're digimon attacking the castle, and you may want to help fight them."

"Why??" Tai demanded. "Matt slings us in this pit and now you expect us to help him?!"

Garurumon growled and looked at Izzy. "You've discovered things about this castle by now, knowing you. Tell him."

The computer expert nodded, typing hastily into his laptop. "The cloak Matt wears allows him to use Garurumon's attacks. Our cloaks are in these locations." A map leapt onto the screen, showing the castle grounds. Dots of different colors were in different locations throughout the map. "Each color of dot matches each of our crests. The orange dot, Tai, is your cloak. And that's not all!" His gloved fingers danced over the keyboard, causing words to pop up on the screen. "I found this hidden in the data of th ecastle. It tells how this fortress holds the history of the entire digiworld in its library, AND some sort of powerful object that could heal the digiworld- or destroy it."

The digidestined were thrown into a stunned silence, during which they could hear the screams and roars of the battle outside. Tai took a deep breath.

"Looks like we don't have much choice in the matter. Hey Iz, can WE use that object?"

Izzy shook his head. "Nope. For one thing, I don't know where it is. For another thing, if we made even one mistake... it could be disasterous."

Tai sighed. "Darn. Well, let's get busy."

"Wait." The rumble of Garurumon's voice halted them. "You'll need your cloaks. Find them first."

Joe nodded eagerly. "Yes, finding cloaks is MUCH safer than fighting outside!"

Tai glared at the blue-haired man. "Joe..." He sighed and shook his head. "Well, let's find those cloaks. Izzy, lead the way."

Again, Garurumon stopped them. "You'll need a guide. Wraithemon!"

The shadowy digimon detached himself from a dark doorway. "The shadows told me of your search. I will help."

Mimi shivered. "Is he trustworthy? He seems evil to me!"

Garurumon shook his striped head. "He may be a virus digimon, but he's the best companion you could have."

Wraithemon formed into a human shadow and glared at the wolf. "Thank you for making me appear harmless, vaccine..." The wraithe's voice dripped with sarcasm.

Garurumon smiled. "But don't underestimate him."

"NOW let's go?" Tai asked impatiently.

The wolf nodded. "Go ahead." He whirled and ran silently outside, the long white and blue tail swiftly disappearing around a shadowy corner.

~*~

It did not take long for the digidestined, led by the silent Wraithemon and Izzy's map, to seek out the seven cloaks. When each put on their crest-colored cape, their crest glowed and seperated from its tag, pinning the cloak securely.

They ran outside, Wraithemon slipping from shadow to shadow until the group reached the ramparts. Below, on the ground, all manner of virus digimon sent attacks at the catle walls and the fighters shooting down their own attacks above. Winged digimon from both sides soared overhead. Kari saw Ravenmon loose sharp-edged feathers with a shout of "Feather Blades!"

A missile zoomed in toward the group from over the wall. With a shout, Wraithemon leapt for it, shadows reaching for the missile and throwing it back over the wall even as the digidestineds' digimon digivolved to Champion level. The sinister wraithe fell to the ground as the newly-digivolved digimon stared at him.

"Wraithemon! Are you all right?" asked Birdramon.

The shadowy digimon disappeared into a nearby shadow. "Yeah... fine..." the harsh voice reached their ears. "I'm a wraithe though, not a greymon... that sun hurts..." The shadows flickered. "You go fight. Humans too. See you after the battle." With that, the shadowy digimon warped to a darker shadow.

~*~

Matt fired blast after blast of Howling Blaster at the digimon outside the castle and above, face set in a grim expression. No time for thinking about T.K. and the others now... he had a castle to defend.

Suddenly electricity sparked by him to hit a Kuwagamon in the sky. Startled, Yamato turned to see a purple-cloaked figure, hood down to reveal Koushiro Izumi. With a shout of "Electro Shocker!" he brought down another digimon.

"Wha...?" Ishida whirled on Garurumon. "What are THEY doing here?!?"

"Helping," the wolf thundered, sending his attack at a numemon.

A sharp cry caused the blonde adult to turn his attention upward at a huge Airdramon that wound its way over the castle. Fire and lightening lanced downward at a slight figure below...

"T.K!" Matt shouted, leaping off the high ramparts. Garurumon did the same, landing with cat-like grace and catching his digipartner on his back. Both sent their howling blasters to turn back the airdramon's attacks.

The teenager looked up, and his face clouded as he recognized his rescuer. He turned away pointedly and walked to the ramparts.

The action was like a physical slap in the face to Yamato. He reeled, stunned at his brother's reaction. Lost in thought and numb with shock, he didn't notice as the airdramon fired another attack.

This time it was Matt's turn to be saved. A shadow shoved him away and took the blindingly bright lightening full on with a hiss of pain.

"WRAITHEMON!" Yamato cried out, knowing what light did to his shadowy friend. The wraithe melted away, the shadows seeming to dim.

"No..." Matt whispered. He'd had few friends once he'd left the digidestined- Wraithemon and Garurumon numbered among those few. "NO!" he said again, louder this time. The crest of friendship flared on his cloak as he whirled on the airdramon, fury and grief filling his blue eyes.

There was a flash of light nearby as Garurumon WarpDigivolved to MetalGarurumon.

"Ice Wolf Claw!" the digimon shouted, firing twin missiles at the dragon. They exploded, freezing part of the airdramon.

Matt joined in, sending out an ice wolf claw of his own. The wyrm died swiftly from the combined attacks, and Yamato ran onto the walltop. He fired attack after attack, grief and uncontrollable rage contorting his face.

~*~

Sora stood on the ramparts, staring in shock at her hands as if they were not her own. The dark-pink-cloaked woman looked down at the disentegrating digimon below, then back at her hands, stained with invisible blood.

~I killed.~

The fire had come from her hands so easily, the words "Meteor Wing" had so quickly slid out of her mouth. She had not realized the consequences of firing at a living creature until the deed was done, the scream wrenched from the throat of the dying digimon- ddn't realized she had killed until the digimon was only grains of data and had disappeared.

~I have killed.~

Just a moment ago the virus digimon had been fighting and breathing, a living thing just like Birdramon and Tai. It had feelings and thoughts and decisions and dreams. It was a sentient, live digimon.

~And I killed it.~

The digimon's scream echoed through Sora's mind as she stood, paralyzed with shock, stunned at what she'd done. That scream would haunt her dreams for a long, long time.

~*~

Tai quickly got over his shock at killing a digimon with the Nova Blast that had come from his gloved hands. He pushed back the orange hood of his cloak and fired off some more shots, then glanced around to see how the others were doing.

Takeru and Matt were both shooting down digimon as if their lives depended on it- which, the digidestined leader reminded himself, it did.

Mimi was peeking over the ramparts from under her green hood, firing a needle spray, then ducking again. Joe, from under his grey-blue cloak, was acting much the same as Mimi.

Izzy was calmly electrocuting flying digimon, but looked as if he were thinking of something else- probably theorizing about their cloaks.

Kari, near Tai, was pale beneath her lavender hood, and her hands shook as she used Gatomon's attacks.

Sora...

...was standing on the ramparts, staring at her hands in shock as a beam of black energy headed straight for her!

"SORAAAAA!" Tai yelled- screamed, even- as he ran for her. ~I'm not moving fast enough!~ The frantic thought bolted through his mind and was gone as he leapt, tackling her. The beam grazed Kamiya across the head, and he fell to the stone walltop and blacked out.

~*~

Takeru's face was stony and expressionless as he shot Angemon's attacks beneath his golden robe.

~Matt is alive.~

Anger guided his motions, his arms savagely thrusting their attacks.

~He didn't come back. Not for me, not for ANYONE.~

Callously, not caring about- indeed, barely hearing- the screams of a dynig Raremon, he shot it down. Watched it disentegrate.

~He doesn't care about me. All this time I thought he was dead.~

Another digimon fell.

~I thought he was dead because I thought he cared enough to come back.~

Takeru killed again.

~But. He. Didn't.~

"I HATE HIM!"

The cry ripped from his throat with a fury and volume that surprised the teen even through his mind-clouding grief and rage. Golden energy erupted from him, wiped out the digimon below. It was too much used energy, too soon, and one time. Takeru slumped to the ground, welcoming the darkness that drove away the red hot fury that raged in his head and ravaged his soul.

~*~

Joe was nervous and uncertain.

The blue-haired man was hiding behind the ramparts next to Mimi, looking over as she did and fring off his harpoon torpedo. He ducked immediately, the move sparing him the sight of his kill and the attacks that soared over his head.

"This is insane!" he yelled above the din to Mimi.

The green-robed woman -it was strange to see her in a color besides pink- nodded her full agreement. "Someone's going to really get hurt!" she shouted back.

Joe was about to reply, but the yell from his far right- Takeru- interrupted him.

"I HATE HIM!"

The fury-driven cry could clearly be heard over the fight's din. Both Mimi and Joe looked over at the teen, then yelped in pain and surprise as he seemed to glow and the golden energy burst outward. The backlash was not deadly, but it was strong, and hit everyone within the castle forcefully. Joe was thrown against the castle wall from the shockwave, and darkness overcame him.

~*~

The first thing Sora was aware of when she regained consciousness was that of pressure. Something was on top of her. She groaned, head pounding from Takeru's attack's backlash, and pushed whatever it was off of her.

It was then that that she remembered the events of the battle. The killing, her stunned shock, the beam of black power... and Tai.

"TAI!"

The person on top of her had been the same man who, just the night before, had worried about not caring about people. Matt's words had hit him hard, and Sora herself hadn't known if they were true or not.

Now she knew.

Taichi Kamiya had tackled her to keep her from being killed, and had taken the blow for himself. How badly had he been hit?! The woman scrambled to check the digidestined leader's condition, fearing the worst- hoping she was wrong. Untangling her dark pink cloak and Tai's orange one, she discovered the extent of the beam's damage. It had grazed his head, giving him a haircut and a raw wound on the left side of his head.

Sora hoped that was all the beam had done.

~*~

The blue-cloaked figure on the stone wall stirred, groaned, and slowly- painfully- stood. He winced as he recollected the past battle and T.K.'s cry of rage.

~I hate him.~

Matt sank to his knees. He had no doubt to whom that statement reffered. T.K. hated Yamato- and rightfully so. The man knew he was a jerk, and one major failure when it came to being an older brother. He remembered his accusation to Taichi- "You don't care."

The blonde man laughed bitterly. It wasn't TAI that didn't care... It was Mat. Why was he so angry toward Tai anyway? Matt was the one at fault- was worse than the digidestined leader.

A sudden thought seared through his mind, interrupting his self-scathing musings.

~T.K! He might be hurt!~

Matt found the teen slumped on the stone, completely covered by his golden cloak. The man turned T.K. over, looking at him quickly to check for injuries.

There wer none. Matt breathed a sigh of relief, a breath that was sucked inward with a gasp a moment later as he noted his brother's shallow breathing and pale skin.

"T.K..." he whispered.

The teen stirred, eyes opening to see the concerned, fearful face of Yamato Ishida. "Matt?"

"That's me," the man said softly.

Takeru sighed and closed his eyes, drifting back to unconsciousness with no word of rebute- though none of encouragement, either. In sleep, his face seemed years younger, and innocent- reminescient of the T.K. of a decade before. Yamato picked up his younger brother in his arms and started for the inner castle.

He would help the others later.

~*~

After a couple hours, the sun was sinking below the horizon, and Tai and Takeru were lying in beds in a good-sized room. Three other beds had been moved into the area, on which rested Matt, Izzy, and Joe. Mattresses laid out on the floor held the mens' digimon.

Matt rolled over in his bed that was placed a scant foot from Takeru's and gazed at his younger brother with mixed feelings. Ignoring the clicking of gloved fingers dancing over a keyboard coming from Izumi's bed, the blonde man looked his pale brother over. Takeru hadn't improved since earlier that day, hadn't even moved. It was as if he was in a coma. Tai was in the same condition.

A rapping on the door caused Matt to turn. "Who is it?" he called out.

"Sora. Can I come in?" the woman's voice replied.

"Sure," Joe said, lying down again.

She opened the door and walked over to Tai's bed, gingerly stepping over the mattress that held Agumon. The digimon had dedigivolved after the battle from the energy loss- no one knew for how long.

"It's worse in here than Tai's room," she commented, sitting on the edge of the digidestined leader's bed and looking the man over. "How is he?"

"No change," Yamato replied, sinking back onto the bed.

The woman looked directly into the blonde adult's eyes. "You were wrong about him, you know." He turned over, facing away from her, face stony and expressionless. Sora pressed on, ignoring the action. "He DOES care. He just doesn't show it very well. Tai knocked me out of the way of that beam. That's why he's like he is."

Matt sat up slowly, leaned against the bed's wooden backboard. "Yeah... s'pose you're right. He's really changed in ten years..."

"We all have, Matt," Joe chimed in. "In some way or another. Some of us more than others."

~They've changed, Matt! Just like you have.~

Garurumon's words came back to the wiry adult, and he nodded with a sigh. "Some of us more than others is exactly right..." He turned his blue-eyed gaze to Takeru. "He hates me, doesn't he." The words were a statement, not a query.

Sora shook her head anyway. "He doesn't know how to feel. He's mad at you, that's for sure- he doesn't know if you still care about him. And that's what hows he loves you, Matt. He cares that you care. If he hated you, he wouldn't care about how you feel."

The blonde man was silent, lost in thought, trying to sort out truth from emotion-clouded misinterpretation.

"I hope you're right," he whispered. "I sure hope you're right."

~*~

A week passed by, the digidestined falling into the not-so-routine life of the castle. As a whole, the group had forgiven Matt and more or less accepted him back. Takeru and Tai were an unknown- as was Matt himself. The withdrawn adult still hadn't forgiven himself for his past actions. Tai and T.K., for their part, hadn't stirred. They seemed to be outside of time.

Mimi had quickly assigned herself the part of freshening up the castle. Day after day, she could be seen directing golems to move a chair, paint a wall, sew drapes, hang a tapestry, or any number of things. Already, the castle was beginning to look more lived in and far less intimidating.

Izzy was constantly in the massive library, reading the books and scrolls as well as entering his findings into his computer. The castle librarian, a strange data digimon known as Libermon, complained many times of headaches, claiming they resulted from Koushiro's flood of questions and incessent curiousity. However, despite his grumblings, the bespectacled digimon actually enjoyed the interest placed in his library, and was only too happy to aid the owner of the crest of knowledge.

Joe, for his part, found himself in charge of the medical end of things- much to his dismay. With the help of vaccine digimon Medicmon, the blue-haired man worked at healing the wounds of the battle. Gomamon often watched on, quite amused, as Joe frantically raced about searching for supplies.

Sora and Kari were the odd ones out. Their skills went more the way of peacemaking and associating with people- so they drifted. Sometimes they helped the digimon decorate the castle, sometimes they aided Joe and Medicmon, in both cases getting to know the castle's occupants. At other times, with the help of an exasperated Tentomon, they forced Izzy to stop his incessent studying of the castle library. Most of the time, however, the two girls and their digimon sat near the comatose Tai and Takeru, talking to each other and keeping a vigil over the two.

Matt felt lost in the flurry of "organized chaos," as it were. He often found himself in the kitchen, helping out the cook digimon, Veggiemon. This veggiemon, unlike the one from "Weregarurumon's Diner," was halfway decent- if short tempered. During his stay in the castle, Yamato had learned that not all virus digmion were evil. When not cooking for the massive amounts of the castle's occupants, however, the man was by T.K.'s bed, sorting out his thoughts and feelings while watching over his brother.

~*~

It was exactly a week after the battle that it happened. Matt was alone in the sickroom that Tai and Takeru had been moved to, alone except for the motionless forms on the beds. He was fully unprepared for what happened as he was sitting on his brother's bed, head in hands, lost in thought.

"Matt?"

It was Takeru's voice- T.K.'S voice. Hardly daring to believe his ears, barely daring to hope, Yamato lifted his head and turn to see his younger brother. Blue eyes looked back at him, a turmoil of emotions in their depths that Matt could not decipher.

They stayed that way for what seemed a lifetime, gazes locked, neither moving a muscle as time stood still.

"I could hear everything," T.K. said finally, voice toneless. "While I was comatose. I heard everything you guys said."

Matt's mouth worked to form words, but his throat let out no noise. Finally he forced out three short syllables.

"I'm sorry..."

Takeru was silent, waiting for him to go on, waiting to hear the words he'd needed to hear for ten long, grief-filled years.

"I'm sorry I left," the man said finally. "I'm sorry I didn't come back. I..." His throat constricted, halting his voice. Matt closed his eyes, ducked his head to hide the tears that trickled down his face. "No matter what you think, even if you hate me... you're my little brother, T.K. And I love you."

Takeru turned away to hide the tears that threatened to fall from his own eyes. "When I said I hated you..." He shook his head. "Well, I don't. I can't. Like you said... We're brothers." The teen looked up, his tears saying what he hadn't yet.

"I love you, big brother."

~*~

The bells in the castle tower chimed noon as Matt, Takeru, and yes- Taichi Kamiya walked into the Great Hall and calmly sat down at the table. Silence fell over the previously chatter-filled room, and then the trio were swarmed by the digidestined and digimon.

"Tai! Takeru! You're back!" Gabumon exclaimed.

"T.K.!" The teen scowled at Kari's use of his childhood name, but accepted her hug without complaining as Patamon flew onto his head, hyper with joy. The others hid smiles at the sight, then hid broader ones as Sora and Tai embraced.

"So, you figure it out yet?" Sora asked Taichi.

"Huh?" he queried, then realization dawned. "Oh, about caring... Yeah... I heard you telling Matt."

The chatter that ensued was chaotic and nearly deafening, but no one quieted anyone. It was the welcome voice of joy at the return of friends.