Digimon Insane!!!
AN~I wrote this on a gray and damp summer day, with nothing to do. Hi, it's me, garurugirl53,author of various fan fics such as the Unlikely Friends series! I'm back, pyscotic and rowdy!
Anyway, this awesome-ass idea for a fan fic popped into my head, but then I went online and saw two other fan fics with the same general idea.
The characters of Digimon on the Jerry Springer show.
I give my kudos to whoever came up with that brilliant idea, but I'm afraid I'm gonna hafta steal it. This is my story, minna-san, and I tried not to copy any of it from the two fics I've read, so if you wrote a fic with the same generalization that I have, and you think I've copied off you, well, in all truths, great minds do think alike, and chances are,I've just never read your
This story has a lot of language and violence in it, and unlike the Jerry Springer show, it's not blanked out. So if that stuff offends you, I really suggest you leave. Blunt as that.
Enjoy! Send me E-mail at my address:
garurugirl53@homestead.com
Jerry~Hello, and welcome to our show! Today's theme is: I went crazy on an anime show! I have with me here Sora Takenouchi, who says that her boyfriend's been cheating on her.
Audience~Ooooooooooohhhhhh...
Jerry~Hello, and welcome to our show. So Sora, how long have you and your boyfriend been together?
Sora*takes a long drag from her Marlboro*~'Bout three years. Ever since we got back from this place, the uh, the uh, the... Digital World! Hi, Jerry. I started noticing that he was alway's going over this girl's house to "fix" her appliances. God, I'd like to "fix" her, the goddamn whore... So anyway, to get back at the bastard, I started sleeping with his worst enemy!
Jerry*looks at Sora warily as she puts out her cigarette on the floor*~Well, let's bring out your boyfriend, Taichi Kayima!*mumbles*Wierdo...
*boos are heard as a obviously drunk Taichi stumbles on stage*
Jerry~Take a seat, Taichi.
*audience laughs as Taichi picks up a chair and runs away with it*
Jerry~I didn't mean that literally! Steve, get after him!
Audience~Steve! Steve! Steve!
*several minutes later, a triumphant Steve returns, grasping the chair in one hand and Taichi in the other*
Jerry~Now Taichi, take a-I mean, sit down.
*Taichi plops in chair*
Jerry~Now I understand that your girlfriend, Sora, has something she wants to tell you. Uh, Taichi?
*Taichi and Sora are making out on the floor*
Jerry~Oh, Christ. Well, since we all enjoy a good bitchfight, let's bring out our other two guests anyway! Come on out!
*a blonde-headed girl runs out from offstage and proceeds to pick Sora up and slap her*
Sora~Who the hell are you?
Girl~My name's Angel, you mother-f*cking bride of Satan!
Sora~Oh, really? Well you're not the only one who can be a homewrecker! Taichi, I've been cheating on your sorry ass!
Taichi*taken aback*~With who?
Sora~Yamato, come on out here, sweetie!
*Yamato runs in from offstage and proceeds to mollywhop everyone's ass, including Sora's*
Yamato~I love a good ass-whooping.*runs offstage*
Jerry~Get this carnage outta here. Let's go to a commercial break!
~*FLASH*~
Jerry~With me now I have Jyou Kido and Mimi Tachikawa, who claim they are the most underrated characters on the show. What do you have to say?
*Mimi and Jyou are making out in a chair. Mimi is on Jyou's lap*
Jyou*groans*~Mmmuupphhhh...
Jerry*anime vein appears on forehead*~Ahem... *making out continues* Excuse me... WILL YOU CUT IT THE HELL OUT!!!
*Jyou and Mimi snap back to attention*
Jyou*clears throat*~Uh, sorry, Jerry. We just wanted to say that we, as Digimon characters, are not paid specific attention to at all. We have the least amount of Digimon eps dedicated to us, and we were forced to leave the show for two whole episodes!
Mimi*pulls out a large stack of papers*~We have prepared a speech that we would like to read. Here, honey. You read it.
Jyou*clears throat again*~We, Jyou Kido and Mimi Tachikawa, demand that-
*he is cut off by Yamato, who bursts onstage, throws the stack of paper on the floor, lights it on fire, and proceeds to throw Jyou and Mimi into it*
Yamato~I love a good surprise arson! *dances offstage*
Jerry~Get this carnage outta here! We'll be going to a commercial break now, folks!
~*FLASH*~
Jerry~Now with us are Takeru Takaishi and Hikari Kamiya, siblings to the two main characters on the show. You two have something to say?
Takeru~Yeah, Jerry.
Hikari~All I have to say, is that I am sick and goddamn tired of being referred to as Taichi's sister, and Taichi's sister only. Hello?! I only saved their sorry ass's-what? A million f*cking times!
Takeru*calling offstage*~Matt! What does f*ck mean? Anyway Hikari, at least you weren't dubbed 'Matt's dopey little brother' from the start!*stomps off to kill Taichi*
Hikari~Well at least you got to stick around for the whole season!
*Takeru returns with a butcher knife in one hand and Taichi's bloody goggles in the other*
Takeru*sitting down*~Now that that's settled, me and Hikari would basically like to say that we are sick and tired of being seen as little siblings who have to be saved by their brothers every five seconds!
Hikari~Yeah! I say that we go and stab 'em all to death! That'll-
*Yamato suddenly runs onstage and stabs Hikari, and Takeru gives him a hug*
Takeru~I really was tired of her bitching. Oh, and Matt, what does f*ck mean?
Yamato*laughs*~Skip it. I love a good bloody stabbing!
*He and Takeru bounce offstage*
Jerry~Ugghhhhh... How much carnage can these kids produce? Somebody get a mop...
~*FLASH*~
Jerry~Finally, our last guest here is Koushiro Izumi, who claims that the show has screwed him in general. Mr. Izumi?
Koushiro~Where shall I begin? Ah, yes, how about the very start. 'He should've went to computer camp.' Yes, I should've, but would my stupid ass mother and father listen?! NO!!! So they send me off to a summer camp where I am automatically dubbed 'the smart but horribly nerdy and self-absorbed one.' Self-absorbed. I think not. That would be Mimi. So I go to this f*cked up place called the Digital World, where I meet this, this thing that looks like a pufferfish when it gets angry and blows itself up. Instantly, it grows into bigger and more drug-addicted, constipated, husband-of-a-KKK-wench with each so-called 'Digivolve'. So here I am stuck with a whacked-out mother f*cker of a Digimon, a necklace that is colored purple, no women at all with me considered to be up to my standards, either look or brain-wise, and this unconrollable desire to kill them all! Wouldn't you go just a little crazy, Jerry?
Jerry~Uh... *mutters*Physcopath.
Koushiro~So that is why I've come here, Jerry. To destroy them all for influencing my lackness of mental sanity.
*Koushiro pulls out a giant bomb and is about to detonate it when suddnly...*
*Yamato and Takeru run in, shove bomb down Koushiro's shirt, and hit the floor as it explodes*
*Blood and guts fly everywhere*
Yamato~I just love a good explosive massacre!
* He and Takeru skip offstage*
~*FLASH*~
*All characters walk onstage, many of which have been brought back from the dead*
Taichi~Die Sora!
Jyou~Die Mimi!
Takeru~Die Hikari!
Koushiro~Die Digidestined!
Yamato~Die everyone!
*There is a sudden flurry of knives, feet, hands, blood, and the occasional explosion of a bomb for about five minutes*
*When the dust clears, Yamato and Takeru are the only two still alive*
Yamato and Takeru*in one voice*~We just love a good sadistic killing!
*jump offstage*
Jerry~I think I'm gonna be sick...
Steve~Get him a bucket...
~*FLASH*~
Jerry~This is my Final Thought, everyone. Never, ever invite the characters of Digimonon your show! Christ Almighty, those kids sure can produce a hell of a lot of carnage! Especially that Yamato kid! He's-
*Yamato runs onstage, hacks Jerry to bits with a giant ax*
Yamato~I love a good TV-show host butchering!
*smiles and waves as curtain falls and loud cheering from the audience is heard*
AN~So, did you people think this was good? Funny? No hate mail about Yama being a serial killer, please. It's just a story I created for fun. Should there be a sequel?
Send me E-mail!!!
garurugirl53@homestead.com