November 2000: "Getting Into the Groove"

January 2001: "The expences one must face in the real world"

November 2000: Getting Into the Groove

In this article I’m just going to give you a background of what you can expect from my monthly column and why you should respect it. I don’t want to come across as thinking I know more than I really do, so I’m just going to keep with a column that I know about. That is simply this: being a guy. There is so much that we get to put up with that I thought that I’d write about my experiences. It’ll be some cool how to things, some tips, fashion advice; you know whatever. It could just be something like a joke that I think is really cool.

My name is Curtis Barton and I attend Southern Methodist University. Right now I’m 21 years old and have red hair, green eyes, and lots of freckles. I like going for my nightly runs and hanging out with all of my friends. Listening to music has always been a passion of mine. Oh, and my nickname is Red or Big Red or Dreamyred or any of the above in mixed combinations.

Regardless, that is what my column is going to be about and I thought I’d start it off this month with a little groove. If you want to impress your friends these days you have to do it with your vast knowledge of music. What do you do though when you don’t have a vast knowledge of music beyond recognizing a few of the latest chart toppers? Well, that is when you need to remember just a few things to make yourself sound like an indie-rock pro. In just 5 steps you’ll sound like you really know everything about indie rock.

Definition: You’re going to have to be saying things like “Oh that is so indie” or “You should listen to more indie rock” to your friends. It’s inevitable that soon enough someone will want you to define what indie means. Don’t be too scared because you don’t need to scrabble for a definition; the secret is that there really isn’t a true definition. Just react with disdain that they even pondered what defines it and say something like “It’s just something you have to experience.” Soon enough they’ll want to be as cool as you are.

Clothes: Ok, so you’re going to need to dress a little more indie at times. Now of course you shouldn’t over do it because then you’re more than likely a poser that is unless you join a band. However, a couple nice pairs of blue jeans and a couple band t-shirts are all you need. Now don’t think too hard about the t-shirts just buy like a Nashville Pussy t-shirt or find an old Mineral shirt. Then you are pretty much set. Maybe make your own shirt that says something as simple as “Oats are for Mummies” because randomness is always blessed.

Bands: Now it gets tricky because there are so many people that know their music inside and out. You’ve got the definition and you have the style, but now you need to be able to talk music. I’m going to propose three bands that you should bring up. Only bring up one at a time because you’ve got to save your arsenal. First when people are talking about the British experience or how all the good bands aren’t from America listen to them rant for awhile. Just nod you head and find a time to squeeze in and say something like, “It’s obvious they all steal their musical wit from Pavement.” Nobody wants to mess with Pavement and nobody wants to admit they are American. You just ended the conversation and came out appearing like you really know your stuff. Second band to know is Sunny Day Real Estate. I’m not proposing that they are better than any other band, but you need to know their name. Whenever you hear anyone talking about Seattle music or emo rock just bring up Sunny Day. Ahem, never call them their full name either Sunny Day or SDRE: don’t look like you care too much. Finally, when the conversation is just confusing you and you don’t know what to say blurt in “Robert Smith (of the Cure) can do it better than any of them.” It doesn’t matter what they are saying. What you say will be like the gospel and I wouldn’t be surprised if you get a little agreeing chuckle out of everyone.

Attitude: I hinted on some of this earlier, but you need to have a rock stars attitude. It’s pretty simple to act the right way. It’ll impress your friends and hopefully get you a lot of new ones. First of all you can’t care too much about anything, even about music. Just take everything in stride and make sure you don’t say too much because if you do they’ll realize you are a fake.

Fun: Don’t stress to much about how people respond to you because I assure you if you follow these guidelines you’ll do great. Nobody will spot your bluff because you won’t let them. Just make sure you’re having a good time faking everyone out and soon enough you’ll be included in enough conversations and have enough indie fans that you’ll learn all sorts of real things. This will just give you the in to get into the music easily.

I’ll catch you all again pretty soon with another exciting column. Send me any ideas/suggestions/comments at Z91Boy@hotmail.com. And check out my website at www.dreamyred.com

--Red

January 2001: The expences one must face in the real world

I'm in college and have a little job and a little bit of trust fund money rolling in; however, I still find that I'm having trouble making the ends meet. After recently moving out of the dorms and into the apartments, I need to figure out where all this money is going. That's what this column is all about: the spending habits of a bachellor.

Expense No. 1:
Wake up and shower (with hot water), brush the teeth, wash face, and put on deodorant and maybe some cologne (typically Curve or Eternity with a little Polo Sport sometimes mixed in). Then I grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Total cost $2.50

Expense No. 2:
Drive to school: $1.00
Take bus to school: $0.00 (for SMU students anyhow)

Expense No 3:
Buying a snack and drink out of the vending machines. Total cost = $1.50

Expense No 4
Buying lunch at the cafeteria or at a nearby fastfood resturant: Total cost = $6.00

Expense No. 5:
Send that darn late Birthday Card to grandma...late. Express mail it. Total cost: $5.50

Expense No. 6:
Go out with buddies after classes: total cost = $10

Expense No. 7:
Drive back home total cost = $1.00
Take bus back home: total cost = $0.00

Expense No. 8:
Cook a nice dinner for you and a friend: total cost = $10.00

Expense No. 9:
Surprise her with a gift, maybe flowers?: total cost = $10.00

Expense No. 10:
Buy a previously viewed dvd at blockbuster: total cost = $12.00

Expense No. 11:
Watch digital cable tv for a couple of hours: daily cost = $1.00

Expense No. 12:
Use cable modem to surf the net: daily cost =$1.00

Expense No. 13:
Get in bed and listen to a cd as I fall asleep (plus daily rent): total cost: 14.00

This makes the total daily cost about $75 dollars for a weekly cost of near $525 dollars. Wow that is a lot of money. Of course if I skip the flowers since I don't have a girlfriend it'll be more like $450. Then I also estimated things pretty high. Like normally I don't go out with the guys on a daily basis. Down to more like $380 a week. Still, living is pretty expensive. And I only buy a dvd every couple of weeks. Let's make that go down even more. How about down to $285 a week.

So as you can see it can be a difficult, but important task to try to keep track of how much money you are spending. That way we can share it all with places like the church and with our friends. It's good not to let yourself go into debt. So I encourage you all to watch your spending likewise! Sorry for missing the column last month but I was really busy. Hopefully this one will make you kind of happy to see a glimpse into what I spend my hard earned money on! Woohooo.