ADJUSTING
Chapter Eleven
Departure
April 22, 1913
Molly entered the dining room, where Rose sat
playing the piano. Hope had been sleeping, but Rose could not. So she decided
that she would pass the time by doing one of her favorite things in the
world--playing the piano.
"Rose?" Molly tried to get her attention.
"Yes?" replied Rose, while still
playing.
"This…uh…letter is for you. I’ll just
leave it here on the table." Molly placed the letter on the dining table.
"You can read it whenever you like."
"Thank you, Molly." She still
continued to play.
Even though neither Rose nor John had made it
known, Molly knew that they were very much in love. What could have possessed
him to leave so suddenly?
Molly silently left the dining room, leaving
Rose alone in her contentment.
As Rose finished her song, she remembered the
letter on the table. She flipped the envelope over in her hands, but there was
no address on it. There was just a simple Rose written on the front. She gently
broke the seal and read the note inside.
My dearest Rose,
Despite my best efforts, my emotions have
completely overwhelmed me. I can’t bear to live here in the same house with
you, seeing you so beautiful, not being able to express just how I feel. For
this reason I have moved back to Cedar Rapids. I know this may seem like I’m
running from my problems, but I know no other way. You have made it clear that
your future plans do not include me. So I thought it best that I, too, move on.
I will always love you, my precious Rose.
I only hope that you may in the future change your mind, and that you will
choose to include me in your life; you will always be the only woman for me.
I love you always,
John Calvert
P.S. I will be waiting for you always.
John Calvert
25 Adam’s Lane
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
52402
Rose was in tears as she finished reading the
letter. He had been heartbroken, and so was she, for that matter, but the
thought of him leaving was all too much. He hadn’t even said good-bye. It was
true that she didn’t want a relationship right now, but even so, she still wanted
him.
Rose sobbed as she heard the nighttime
thunder outside the dining room window. The gloomy weather suited her mood,
very volatile and melancholy.
It was all too much for Rose to handle. She
felt like she was in between two worlds, one in which she wanted to marry John
and live happily ever after, and one in which she wanted to move on by
herself--head out for the horizon and never look back.
But was San Francisco what she really wanted?
Rose had been reconsidering her future quite a lot in the past few weeks. She
thought that she might actually return to New York. But Rose had to think about
Hope, too. Rose had no clue about schooling or such in a big city like New
York. Maybe she should move to Cedar Rapids to be with John...no. She couldn’t
let her heart cloud her judgment this time. But didn’t the heart know best?
Rose ran upstairs to her room and collapsed
on the bed in a fit of sobs. She couldn’t think about this right now. She just
wasn’t strong enough.
Hope stirred in her sleep, hearing her mother
cry. Oh, no. Please don’t wake up now. Rose ceased her tears just long
enough for Hope to readjust herself in a peaceful sleep. Thank goodness.
What was Rose going to do now? She had made
such a mess of her life. Her mother would be so ashamed. Her mother. What did
she know? She was pampered from head to toe from the very moment she was born.
What did a woman like that know? But then, what did Rose know? She was raised
very much the same way. It had only been a little over a year since she had
broken free. And look where it had led her. Maybe she would have been better
off if she had just married Cal after all.
Stop it, Rose! she lectured to herself. You’re thinking like a
madwoman. You know very well the type of life you would have lived if you had
married him. You might not even have had Hope.
Rose let out a deep sigh. She had a better
life than she would have had, yes. But it was still nowhere near the way she
wanted it to be. She wanted just one thing...John. Then what was she making
such a big fuss about? Would it be that bad if she were to marry John now? She
could still have her freedom at the same time...couldn’t she?
So much thinking was giving Rose a terrible
headache and a nauseous feeling. She needed to stop for the evening. She could
think about this tomorrow when she wasn’t so emotional.
Rose walked into her bathroom and filled the
tub with warm water. A bath was just what she needed right about now.
When the tub was filled, she turned off the
water and brushed out the knots in her long, curly hair. She had only cut it
once since last April, and even that was a very little amount. Her hair was
extremely long by now.
Rose carelessly removed her dress and
undergarments, letting them fall to the floor. She stepped into the bathtub and
carefully sat down, leaning back after a couple of seconds.
The warm water engulfed any and every emotion
she was carrying. She felt at ease for the first time in weeks. All the stress
in her life just seemed to melt away. She just thought about one thing...the
gentle feeling of John’s skin against hers.
*****
After an hour of soaking, the bath water had
cooled, and Rose decided it was time to get out and get into her warm bed. She
dressed in her nightclothes and gently slipped between her white satin sheets.
The feel of the satin against her skin hypnotized her every sense. Within a few
minutes she had fallen asleep, devoid of any human emotion.
Molly walked passed Rose’s bedroom and
noticed her light was still on. She entered her room and turned off the ornate
table lamp.
"Good night, Rose," she whispered
softly. She kissed her forehead delicately before leaving. Molly knew that Rose
had much on her mind. She hoped that she would at least have a restful sleep.
Rose had many dreams that night. All of which
involved she and John...together.