ADJUSTING
Chapter Twelve
Final Decisions
April 23, 1913
Rose sat in her new rocking chair with Hope
in her arms. It was time for Hope to take her nap, but she was being rather
fussy about it. The rhythmic rocking seemed to finally lull Hope to sleep, and
at last Rose was able to set her down in her crib.
Rose lay down on her bed, staring at the
ceiling. She couldn’t avoid it any longer. She needed to make some decisions
about her life. Well, first off, what were her choices? She could, one, contact
John and tell him that she really did love him. Perhaps then they could have
the relationship that they both longed for.
Two, she could move to San Francisco as she
had planned. The more and more she thought about that option, the more Rose
hated the idea. California seemed nice, but she had never been there before. But
wasn’t that what she wanted? To travel to new places?
Then there was a third choice--move back to
New York. That was something that had been nagging at Rose for quite some time.
She didn’t understand why, but she felt like she had to move to New York. As if
some unseen force was guiding her there. But what about John?
Rose, get John out of your mind for one
damn minute! Rose yelled at herself.
She was getting quite frustrated at the thoughts that invaded her mind. Think,
Rose. Think.
That was all that she did for the next two
hours. Even after Hope had awakened, Rose thought. As she fed Hope, she
thought. Finally, as she was rocking Hope in the rocking chair, Rose made her
decision.
Rose, with Hope in her arms, walked
downstairs to find Molly sitting in the living room. She was sitting on the
sofa reading a book.
"Good afternoon, Rose. Haven’t seen you
much today. Is there anything wrong?" Molly asked, with concern in her
voice.
"No, I’m fine. But I do have something I
would like to discuss with you."
"Yes, of course. Why don’t you sit down,
darlin’?" Molly asked softly. "Now tell me, Rose, what’s on your
mind?"
Rose sat down next to Molly and began to
explain. "Molly, I’ve been thinking for a long time now--months, really.
I’ve decided that I need to go out on my own, experience life, you know?"
Molly nodded. "I figured this was coming
sooner or later," she admitted. "Have you decided where you want to
go?"
"Yes, actually. It’s taken me a lot of
reconsideration these past few weeks, but I finally decided that I want to go
back to New York. And that’s mostly why I need to talk to you. I was wondering
if you knew of any nice places to live? I could find a hotel until I did find
some place. That’s not a problem. But I want what is best for my
daughter." Rose kissed the top of Hope’s head.
Molly sighed. She didn’t want Rose to leave,
but she knew that it would be best for her. She had only begun to live.
"Yes...I think I can help you out, Rose, but no more of this staying in a
hotel business. Do you remember Roger? The doctor that I called upon last year
when you were ill?" Rose simply nodded her head. "He and his wife
have a beautiful place, just on the outskirts of the city. He owes me a favor
or two; I’ll arrange for you to stay with him until you can find a place of
your own. It will be a lot less nerve-racking than living in a hotel."
"Thank you, Molly. You don’t know how
much this means to me." Rose’s voice was almost melancholic. She was going
to miss this place. It had been a wonderful home to her for the past year. It
was a part of her soul now. In all reality, it was her means of emotional
escape. It was where she had finally accepted Jack’s death, where she fell in
love with John, and where she had lost John. But that was not the last major
event in Rose’s life that would take place at the Brown mansion.
"I sure am going to miss you, Rose.
You’ve been like a daughter to me for this past year." Both their eyes
were beginning to mist over by now.
"I’m going to miss you, too, Molly.
You’ve been so kind to me." Rose smiled sweetly. "Do me a favor?
Don’t tell anyone I am planning to leave yet. I don’t want to tell anyone until
after Lynn and Jack’s wedding. I don’t want Lynn thinking about me on her
special day." Molly nodded in understanding. Rose was right. It would be
best to let it sit until after the wedding.
"Oh!" Molly shot up. "Speaking
of the wedding, your dress was delivered this morning. I didn’t open the box--I
was hoping that you would try it on for me." Molly ran to the other side
of the room and picked up a large white box from Catherine’s Dress Shop. Rose
smiled. She had loved the dress from the very moment she saw it.
"If you hold Hope, I’ll go upstairs and
change into it, if you’d like."
"Of course, dear!" Molly took Hope
into her arms and handed Rose the box. Hope giggled in Molly’s arms as she
played with her. Rose knew that Hope would miss Molly, too.
Rose walked to her bedroom and opened the
box. She gasped when she was the dress. The colors came out more beautifully
than she ever thought they would. She couldn’t wait to try it on now.
*****
Out of the corner of Molly’s eye, she could
see Rose walking down the stairs in her gown. Molly was speechless. Rose looked
like such an angel--the outer layers in lavender and the under layer in a baby
pink.
"Well," Rose started. "What do
you think?"
"You look beautiful, Rose," Molly
stated honestly.
"Thank you." Rose blushed slightly.
She was amazed that her figure had gone back to normal after having Hope. She
knew that most women’s figures changed after bearing children. She was glad
that hers had not, though.
"What do you think, darling?" Rose
asked Hope. "Does Mommy still look good in her old age, huh?" Hope
looked at her mother absentmindedly. She had absolutely no clue what her mother
was talking about.
Rose laughed at her child’s innocence.
"That’s just what I thought." Rose picked up Hope from Molly’s arms
and headed back upstairs to change. Molly could hear Rose speaking softly to
Hope as she walked away.
That child has one of the best mothers
alive, Molly thought to herself. She
sighed softly to herself. It’s just a shame she’ll never know her father.
Then again...
Her thoughts trailed away as she picked up
her book and began reading again.
Perhaps Jack wasn’t the father that Hope
needed. There was another man that loved Hope just the same as Jack would have.
But he was now hundreds of miles away.