A LOVE FOR ETERNITY
Chapter Twelve
A Thousand Miles
It had just arrived, and now it
was lying on the table in front of her. The drawing. Charcoal. She could even
smell his presence on it.
Rose had to admit that the drawing
was simply beautiful. It showed herself and Jack, like so many other drawings
she had seen. They were sitting on their sofa in their apartment in New York.
His arms were wrapped around her, and her head rested on his shoulder. A small
smile played around her lips as he leaned down to kiss her. And under that
picture he had written a few simple words.
Maybe someday…
He wanted to forgive her, didn’t
he? He had finally made the decision to forgive her. Or…no, she didn’t want to
think about other possibilities. He still loved her, or he wouldn’t have sent
her this drawing. Especially as a Christmas present.
Maybe someday…
Would they be happy again? Rose
sighed deeply and got up from the table. She went over to her dresser and
pulled open a few drawers. Finally, she found what she had been looking for. A
gold picture frame. The drawing was perfect for it. It would look good on her
bedside table.
The frame reflected the light and
made the image look brilliant. She hadn’t smiled like in that picture for…she didn’t
even know for how long. It was too long ago.
Maybe…
What if she wrote him a letter?
Tried to explain everything. Tried to make him forgive her. Rose pulled the
drawers open again, this time looking for a pen and some paper. Minutes later,
she sat down at her desk and began writing.
My dearest Jack,
Merry Christmas!
Maybe someday…you wrote. Does
this mean that you are willing to forgive me? I really hope so. I don’t think I
can stand another day without you. Without your voice, without your gentle touch.
I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone that much until I left you.
When you’re not here, it’s as
though a part of me is missing. Everywhere I go, I see your face, and each
voice sounds a little like yours. When I’m sad or alone, I long for you to be
here. Why won’t you come? I keep asking myself. And over the last months, I
figured out why you don’t come.
I’ve hurt you too much. Yes, I
know that what I did was wrong. You must remember that you’re the only one for
me and that what happened wasn’t meant to happen. At first, I didn’t even want
to, but I so badly wanted someone to be there for me again, to love me again,
that I somehow didn’t mind that it wasn’t you. I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin
to apologize.
Will you forgive me now?
Haven’t we been through enough already? I’d be willing to forgive you for
blaming me—although you had every right to—and for not being there for me. Can
you do this, too?
Maybe someday…
Can we meet again? Can
everything be as it was before? I’ll be able to forget. We can make up for the
time we lost this year. We can again begin.
I have to tell you something
that happened to me this year, whether you want to hear it or not. Sometime
during the summer, Mother, Molly, and I went to the theater. It was such a hot
day, and at first I didn’t even want to go, but then Mother told me what play
we were going to see—Romeo and Juliet. The play was so beautiful. They found
each other, they married, but they weren’t destined to be together. They both
had to die in the end.
Don’t they remind you of us?
We found each other and gave up our old lives to be together. But I think that
we are completely different in one point—fate brought us together, and I think
we are destined to spend our lives together. Can we ignore that?
I want to meet you again. I
want to be near you again. In March, we are going to Santa Monica for a
vacation—do you remember our honeymoon there? Those days are still some of the
most beautiful of my life. If you want to meet me, too, please come at the same
time. Please write back if you feel the same, and then I’ll give you the exact
date.
We can make up. We can forgive
each other. We are destined. I don’t think I can stand another day without
knowing that you forgive me. I made the worst of all mistakes, but I know that
you have the heart to forget. Maybe someday…
Yours forever,
Rose
*****
As Jack read and re-read the
letter she had sent him, his heart began to race. Of course he wanted to see
her again. He wanted to forgive and forget everything. He missed her so much it
wasn’t bearable.
In March we’re going to Santa
Monica…March was still so
far away. Why wouldn’t time go by faster?
He looked up from the letter in
his hand. It was now the beginning of January. 1914 had already begun. But he
felt as though this year was worth nothing without Rose…I’m not going
without you…she had gone without him. Not only back then, but again last
year.
"Why can’t you be here now?
I miss you so much," he whispered softly to no one in particular.
March 5, 1914
Jack waited eagerly for the train
to arrive in Santa Monica. It was nearly time. He looked at his watch for the
hundredth time during the last hour. He was just so nervous. It had almost been
a year since he had last seen Rose. He sighed. Everything was so difficult.
"Nervous?"
He looked around, startled at the
voice. He hadn’t noticed the man sitting on the other side of the compartment.
He seemed to be in his fifties, his hair was slowly graying, and he looked over
at Jack with warm beetle eyes.
"Yeah, pretty nervous, to
tell the truth. How did you know?"
"You check your watch every
half minute, young man. That made me think you were nervous." He slowly
got up, walked over to Jack, and sat down next to him. "I’m George
Black."
"I’m Jack Dawson." Jack
noticed that George had a hard handshake; it almost broke his fingers.
"So, Jack. Care to tell me
why you’re so nervous?"
Jack hesitated. He didn’t know
this man at all, but somehow he trusted him. He took a deep breath and began,
"This evening I’m going to see my wife again for the first time in almost
a year. She left me because we had a terrible quarrel. I saw her kissing one of
my best friends and was awfully jealous. You know, I really love her with all
my heart and soul, and would give up everything for her."
"Okay, and now what’s the
problem?" George asked calmly.
Jack just stared. What was the
problem? A good question. "Ah…we haven’t talked since then, have written
only two letters. I don’t know if I can forgive her for what she did. She
really hurt me a lot. But on the other hand, it was she who suggested that we
meet here. So I’m not sure what to do."
George nodded wisely and thought
for a moment before answering. "So you don’t know how to feel. You still
love her, but you’re deeply hurt, and afraid that she’ll be angry because you
didn’t forgive her mistake."
"Exactly. And that’s the
problem. I guess I’m just really afraid. I think even more than I was the night
when I thought I would die."
George looked at him sharply.
"You thought you’d die? Why is that?"
"Oh, it’s a really long
story I don’t want to tell you right now. Just let me say this—she saved my
life back then, and that’s something I never gave her a reward for. So when I
saw her with my friend, I was kind of afraid that she had gotten tired of me,
tired of someone who never repaid his debts."
"Let me tell you, Jack, that
most women don’t think like that. The way you describe your wife, she sounds
like she’s satisfied when you’re there to love her. And now that you two are
apart, she doesn’t know what to do. She’s probably confused and afraid, too.
She feels just like you."
Jack mused that that was maybe
true. He needed her, too. But there was one more thing to ask…
"But what shall I do when I
meet her? What shall I say?"
George thought again for a
moment, and then said, "A friend once told me what he had heard someone
say, You never know what hand you’re going to get dealt next. You learn to
take life as it comes at you. It means that you can’t say what’s going to
happen. Just let it happen."
"Where did you get that
from?" Jack asked, now really stunned.
"Archibald Gracie told me.
He’s been a friend of mine for years."
And now Jack knew what to do. He
had to do what he himself had once said people should do. Take life as it comes
at you. Make it count.
*****
Rose stood at the train station,
waiting for Jack to arrive. She hadn’t said, that she would pick him up, but
she thought of it as a nice surprise.
She had been here for twenty
minutes, eagerly waiting. Today she was wearing the dress that Jack liked so
much. The blue one, with small yellow pearls on it. She was a little cold with
the short sleeves, but she knew that it wouldn’t be long now until the train
arrived.
"Night train from New York
arrives on platform three. Please stand back," a bullhorn announced, and
in the distance the sound of a whistle could be heard.
Rose couldn’t wait much longer.
Finally, after almost a year, she would see him again. Would he still be the
same? Was she still the same? She shook her head to get rid of this thought.
Everything will be fine, everything will be fine, she kept telling herself, but
didn’t really believe it.
The train pulled into the station
and finally came to a halt. The first passengers started to exit, and Rose
started looking for him. And then she saw him in the middle of the train,
heaving his suitcase out. He started to walk towards the exit where she was
waiting, but he hadn’t seen her yet.
*****
Jack took his suitcase down from the
rack as the train pulled into the station and finally came to a halt.
"Thanks for your advice,
George."
"You’re welcome, Jack. I
really hope everything will go well with Rose," George said, and patted
Jack on the back.
"Yeah. Me, too," said
Jack, and then it was their turn to get off the train. "Bye, George. Maybe
we’ll meet again! And greet Archibald Gracie for me! Maybe he remembers who I
am!"
Jack made his way along the
platform. He was really looking forward to his cool hotel room now. It was
amazing that even in March it could be so warm in California. When he had
almost reached the exit, he spotted someone and looked up.
It was his Rose. Even though he
hadn’t seen her in a long time, he had always remembered the way she looked. So
beautiful. Her hair hanging down her back in wild curls, and there was that
smile. It was back.
He approached her and stopped a
few feet from her. They stood there in awkward silence and just looked at each
other. You learn to take life as it comes at you…
"Hello," Jack finally
said. Oh, my God, you’re so stupid! he screamed at himself. He hadn’t
seen her for so long, and he only said hello.
But she seemed satisfied with
that, and smiled even wider. Obviously, it was enough for her to hear his
voice. She stepped a little closer to him to study his face.
He hadn’t changed much. His blue
eyes still looked at her the same way, his blonde hair was a little shorter,
and he seemed more muscular.
And then she began, "I
missed you a lot…" but was cut off by a soft kiss on her lips.