ALL THE WAY
Chapter Sixteen
Mid-December, 1929
In one year, things had changed dramatically
for the Dawson family. The stock market had crashed in October, and as a
result, everything in Santa Monica was turned upside down. Rose lost her job at
the theater, as it had to close, and she was forced to get a job at a small,
poorly run cafe. Jack had to lay off a lot of his employees and, even so, the
gallery was not making half of the money it did before the crash. People just
didn't have money to buy a lot of art anymore. And, on top of everything, the
Dawsons had lost a lot of their savings and such. Things were not looking good.
The only thing they were happy about was the fact that they had paid off their
house loans last year.
Rose sighed heavily as she put a metal box
back in her hope chest. The box held the remaining money from Cal's coat, a
somewhat large amount that they had been saving since 1912 for emergencies. She
didn't want to use it now. What if something happened a week after and then
they were really in trouble? No, it would be better to save it and know that if
they really needed it, it would be there.
Rose wearily stood up and glanced across the
room to the clock. It was eight-thirty already, and Jack wasn't home yet. Not
that Rose was shocked at all. He had been spending a lot of time at work,
trying to make extra sales and connections. He had even been out to eleven the
other night. And, to make matters worse, he hadn't even slept in the same bed
as Rose in a few weeks. He got home so late and left so early that it was just
easier to sleep in the guestroom downstairs. Wanting to give in to the all too
familiar and expected headache and go to bed, Rose started out of the room to
lock up for the night. But on the way, she accidentally ran into a body.
"Oh, Jack," she exclaimed, shocked
to see him. Jack just gave her a weak smile and then moved passed her.
Rose followed him through the bedroom and
into the bathroom. "Um...how are things?" she asked, trying to make
conversation as he started to loosen his tie and take off his shoes. They
hadn't spoken at all in...what was it now? Two or three days?
"Fine," Jack mumbled, shrugging as
he said so. "Where is my nightshirt?"
Rose sighed at Jack's question. "In the
dresser," she mumbled, following him yet again into the bedroom.
Jack must have known, all of a sudden, that
she was trying to get him to talk, and so he threw a question back at her.
"How was work today?"
"Ah..." Rose cleared her throat and
tried to busy herself with other things. Jack wasn't going to like her answer,
she knew already. "I didn't go to work today," she finally said, not
looking towards him.
"What?" came Jack's shocked voice.
"Rose, look at me."
Rose timidly lifted her head up and looked in
his eyes. There was a look in them that she had not seen before. Not
understanding what was beginning to happen, she started to get scared.
"You didn't go to work today?" Jack
asked, repeating what she had said.
"N-no," Rose stuttered out.
"Why?"
Rose cleared her throat again, and then said,
"Um...because...because, Jack, I had a doctor's appointment."
Jack's eyes lowered into slits and he gave
her a nasty look. "That was stupid, Rose," he said, spitting the
words out.
Something inside of Rose snapped. He had no
right to talk to her like that over something this pointless!
"Come on, Jack. What is the big deal? So
I went to the doctor's. It was important."
"The big deal is that you missed an
entire day's pay and you spent money for a pointless reason."
"It was not a pointless reason!"
Rose shot back at him.
Jack threw up his hands in frustration.
"Okay, fine, Rose. Tell me what was so important that you just had to go
to the doctor's and spend all our money."
Rose didn't answer for a minute. She was mad
at him, and she wanted him to know that. He didn't even seem to care if she was
okay or not, didn't seem to mind that she might have big news to share with
him. No, all he cared about was that damn money.
"No, Jack, I am not going to tell
you," she finally said. "When you get a clue, come talk to me and I
might explain. Until then, I am going to just stay out of your way." She
moved over to the bed and threw back the covers. Grabbing her pillow and, from
the foot of the bed, a blanket, she started for the door.
Jack stopped her before she could leave,
though, and pulled her back. "What do you mean, get a clue?" he
asked, icily, once he had her attention again.
"I mean, Jack, that all you care about
is your money. It's ruling your life."
"Well, in case you haven't noticed,
Rose, we are in a little bit of a hole here."
"I realize that, Jack. But you can't
focus all your attention on those problems. I am sick of you coming home late
at night and leaving early. I am sick of you making us save and save and save
until we hardly even have money for food or things like cold medicine for the
children. I am sick of you ignoring all of us, including me. You've gone into
this little world and you can't get out of it."
Her words didn't hit Jack at all. His eyes
still remained cold and unforgiving. "Money is how we get by," he
finally said to her. "We need it for survival. Our situation is bad, Rose.
You know there is no money."
Rose's eyes widened as Jack's words hit her.
"Oh my God, Jack. Do you know who you sound like?" she asked,
unbelievingly, not ever expecting to hear anything close to that from her
husband.
Jack raised his eyebrows. "Please, Rose,
enlighten me," he said sarcastically.
"You sound just like Cal and my
mother."
Jack didn't say anything, making Rose tense
up even more. He didn't even deny it! she fumed. He thinks so, too.
And he is enjoying this. Well, I can make him feel guilty, too.
"You sound just like Mother and Cal,
Jack. You are basically saying things they said word for word. Cal was obsessed
with making sure there was always money around, that everyone knew that he had
it, and other people didn't. My mother's whole world was run by money. And when
it ran out, she turned into what you are now. What, Jack, are you going to
marry off Jillian to next halfway well-off man that shows up?" she
screamed at him. "I hated that, Jack. That's why I was trying to get out.
It drove me crazy. I couldn't be my own person. And now look what is happening,
Jack."
"You can still be your own person,"
Jack yelled back at her. "I am not stopping you! Hell, Rose, I haven't
even spoken to you in days! I am giving you full independence here."
"No, you're not! You just think you are.
How do you think it makes me feel to tell the children how much we all have to
cut back on things? How do you think it makes me feel when I have to work all
day at some rundown, low-paying excuse for a restaurant and hardly make any
money at all? How do you think I feel when my own husband does not even want to
sleep in the same bed as me? Do you realize how long it's been since you and I
even came close to being intimate with each other, Jack? It's been almost two
and a half months!" Rose threw her blanket and pillow down on the floor in
fury. "It's absurd!"
"You know what's absurd, Rose? The fact
that, even though you are thirty-four years old, you can't even get through an
argument without acting like a spoiled brat."
Rose laughed bitterly. "I'm a spoiled
brat! You're the one who can't lighten up for two seconds. And even now, all
you can think about is your stupid money. I can see it in your eyes,
Jack!" she yelled. "Oh, I've got an idea. To make money, I could
stand out on the street corner and sell myself for a buck or two. Because, you
know, if you're turning into Cal, you must think I am a whore like he
did."
Jack pointed toward the door. "Fine! Go!
See if I care! I don't want you around anyway, Rose."
"Good, because I don't want to be around
you either!"
Rose moved toward the dresser and threw open
one of the drawers. Realizing she needed a suitcase, she ran over and reached
under the bed, searching around until she found one. Giving Jack a nasty look,
she went back over to the dresser and started throwing her clothes into the
suitcase.
"What do you think you are doing?"
Jack finally asked, his voice still angry.
"I am leaving, Jack. You told me to get
out, so I am."
"Oh, that is just typical, Rose. Take
the easy way out! You always were afraid to face your problems."
"Excuse me?" Rose asked in
disbelief. "You are the one who can't even see that he has his head in the
toilet. You don't even seem to care about any of us anymore. The children
haven't seen you in weeks. They ask me every day if you are even still around.
You don't even want to really know what has been going on in my life, why I
went to the doctor's! I tried to be nice and civil with you, but it didn't
work. You are still going to keep being the bastard you have been the past few
weeks. And that Jack obviously doesn't care about his family anymore. Well,
fine, Jack, you can have your way." She moved towards him and looked him
straight in the eye. "I am leaving. When you lighten up and get a damn
clue, I'll come back." After one last harsh look, she spun around and
started out of the room.
"That's just great, Rose! Go be a whore!
Go and leave your problems! Like you always do! I won't stop you!" Jack
yelled after her as she walked away.
"Fine! Good!" Rose shouted back.
"Fine!"
"Fine!" With one last shout, Rose
slammed the bedroom door shut and then was gone. Jack just stood in the empty
room, the reality of what had just happened not sinking in. Sighing in
exasperation, he decided to just forget about it. She will be back in a
little while, he told himself. Just get to bed, Dawson. But when he
heard the front door slam shut and then saw the headlights of the car turn on,
followed by the screeching of the tires as she drove away, he knew that things
had been twisted into a mess that would be hard to get out of.