ALL THE WAY
Chapter Seventeen
It was seven AM the next morning when Dianna
heard the doorbell ring through her empty and quiet house--the children were
off with Bryan for a weekend in Los Angeles. Wondering who on earth would be
coming over at such an early time on a Saturday morning, she sat her coffee mug
down on the kitchen table and made her way to the front door.
Straightening out the welcome rug on the
floor with her foot, Dianna opened the door and looked outside. To her shock,
Rose stood on the front steps. Mascara ran down her cheeks and her eyes were
red and bloodshot. Her hair was matted and wet, due to the rain that had been
pouring down since the day before. Her clothes too, were damp and she was
shivering in the cold. In short, she looked worse then Dianna had ever seen
her.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed.
"Rose, what happened to you?"
Rose just shook her head and closed her eyes.
"I--I...I," she tried to talk, but the words wouldn't come out.
"Oh, honey, come inside," Dianna
said, realizing that something must be really wrong if Rose couldn't speak. She
moved aside and the soaked Rose followed her into the house.
"Let me get you a towel," Dianna
mumbled as she started for the bathroom, leaving Rose alone in the hallway. She
looked around with uncomprehending eyes, her heart still heavy with pain. She
felt as if someone had taken her out into the middle of the street, stripped
her naked, and then ran over her body ten thousand times with a car.
"Here," Dianna said, coming back
and wrapping a warm towel around Rose's shoulders. Rose shrugged into it
numbly, all thoughts lost to her.
"Are you okay?" Dianna finally
asked softly.
Rose turned toward her friend and just looked
at her for a moment. And then, finally, she shook her head slowly as fresh
tears formed her eyes.
"Damn it," she whispered, trying to
wipe them away.
"Well, at least I know you can talk
now," Dianna said after that, trying to make a joke. But when she saw that
Rose didn't think it was funny in the least, she stopped there.
"Ah, why don't we get you seated and
comfortable?" she suggested, starting to lead Rose towards the living
room. Rose followed, only because there was nothing else to do. She couldn't
leave, she had nowhere to go to. And she couldn't just stand there, that would
be pointless as well. No, all she could do was follow Dianna and try to make
some sense of what was happening.
Once in the living room, Dianna sat Rose down
on the couch and then sat down next to her. Neither said anything; Rose didn't
know how to explain things at the moment and Dianna didn't know if she should
ask Rose questions or not. It carried on like this for about ten minutes until
Rose finally spoke.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, keeping
her head down. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."
Dianna smiled lightly and patted Rose on the
back. "It's all right Rose."
Rose was quiet again.
"Do you want some coffee?" Dianna
asked, trying to get Rose to tell her more without being obvious. "I have
straight black, right out of the pot, if you want that."
Rose instinctively touched her abdomen.
"No coffee," she said, turning to look at Dianna for the first time
in a while.
"Water? Tea? Anything?"
Rose shook her head. "No thank
you."
"Okay," Dianna said softly, getting
more worried. Rose loved her coffee in the mornings, she knew that. She sighed
without meaning to, causing Rose to turn.
They looked at each other for a moment and
then Rose just blurted out what had happened. "Jack and I had a fight, a
really bad one. And I left." She started crying again now, her whole body
overcome with sobs.
Dianna immediately moved to put her arm
around Rose's shoulders, letting her cry as hard as she wanted. She knew that
this was a big a thing. Dianna had known Rose and Jack for years, and they
never fought. There had been a few times when Rose had said something about how
they had argued over stupid little things. Those spurts were usually resolved
quickly. But now, if Rose had really left, something awful must have happened.
Before Dianna could even question her about it, Rose began talking about it again,
her words came out in-between sobs.
"It was so awful. He just came home and
we were talking and then Jack got really mad because I went to the doctor and
spent money...its like he didn't even care, he didn't want to know why I
went," she mumbled. "One thing lead to another, and all of the
sudden, all of the sudden it was like we were screaming and yelling these
horrible things at each other!"
Rose jumped up and started nervously pacing
around in front of the couch. "I called him so many stupid things, I even
compared him to Cal. Then he called me a whore, and said that money was
everything." She stopped moving and turned toward Dianna, her eyes over
flowing with sad tears. "He hates me Dianna. He told me to get out, so I
did. I left, I took the car, and I just left. I have been driving around for
the past eleven hours, not doing anything but stare off in the distance. I
thought about going back so many times, but then I would remember what we said
to each other, and it's just not possible. I can't go back."
"Oh Rose," Dianna sighed
sympathetically. She stood up and pulled Rose into an embrace. "It's going
to turn out okay. You'll see."
Rose just shook her head. "I just don't
know," she whispered. "It all seems hopeless now."
*****
Hours later, Dianna wondered into the kitchen
looking for something to entice Rose to eat. The poor woman had fallen asleep
on the couch, soon after explaining what had happened, exhausted from being up
all night. Truthfully, she didn't know what to say to Rose at the moment and was
sort of relieved she was asleep for a little while. The whole situation just
sounded like a big understanding and it was the result of two very stressed out
people finally crossing paths. Dianna knew this, but she didn't know how to get
it across to Rose.
Sighing, she started going through the
cupboards, finally finding some fresh bread. Taking it down, she cut a slice
and then put it in the oven to warm up. Her mind wondered once again about what
to do. Of course they had to kiss and make up. There was no way Dianna was
letting anything happen to that couple's relationship. It was all just a matter
of getting them into the same room and getting them to apologize. Dianna
drummed her fingers on the counter as she tried to think of any possible way to
get them to see each other. With some careful words, she decided, Rose might
just agree to something. The question was what, though?
"Come on Di," she whispered to
herself. "Think."
After several minutes of racking her brain,
she finally threw up her hands and gave up. She could talk to Rose, but then
after that it was going to be up to her. Shaking her head, Dianna took the
bread, now toast, out of the oven and carefully put a little bit of butter on
it. She poured some orange juice and then with one final sigh, picked
everything up and started for the living room.
As she entered, she saw Rose start to stir.
Dianna set the things down on the nearby coffee table and then sat down,
watching as Rose slowly woke up.
"Hey," she whispered once Rose was
fully conscience again. "How are ya doing?"
Rose gave Dianna a funny little half smile
that said What do you think? and then sat up. Almost immediately, her
face when white as a sheet and she covered her mouth with her hand. She closed
her eyes and stood up slowly. "Excuse me," she mumbled before running
in the direction of the bathroom.
Dianna jumped up and followed her, coming in
just as Rose threw up into the toilet. She watched in disbelief as her friend
got sick, not knowing what to do. Rose was obviously not shocked at what was
happening, and this made Dianna start to wonder if there was more to the story
then she heard. Suddenly, something Rose had said flashed through her mind like
a shooting star.
"Jack got really mad because I went
to the doctor and spent money...its like he didn't even care."
"Oh my God," Dianna whispered. She
looked at Rose, who was now finished and sitting by the toilet, softly crying
and looking around as if she was lost. It all clicked in her head just then and
she couldn't help but be shocked.
"Does Jack know?"
Rose's tear filled eyes met Dianna's and she
knew that she knew. Then Rose slowly shook her head. "No. He has no
idea," she said, her voice surprisingly strong.
Dianna came over and sat down next to Rose,
hanging her a washcloth in the process. "How far along are you?"
Rose looked down at the floor. "A little
over two months. I just found out for sure yesterday. I started having some
signs a couple days after the Crash. I thought, maybe, it was all just because
of the stress and worry and I didn't tell Jack. Things had already started to
get...ruined, with us, and I didn't want to burden him with more worry. But I
finally went in to check." She sighed heavily and looked back up, this
time at the wall in front of her. "I always knew, deep down I could feel
it. I just didn't want to believe it."
Dianna didn't say anything, just put her arm
around Rose and then Rose laid her head down on Dianna's shoulder.
"We're having another baby together, and
he does not even know. He doesn't even want me there. It's like a bad nightmare
I can't wake up from."
"You have to talk to Jack."
"I can't. I can't go back. He hates me,
the children probably think I hate them. God, it's too late now. I've just,
I've just screwed everything up."
Dianna bit her lip, not knowing what to say
next. This was all more then she expected and was more complicated then she
wanted to deal with. But, helping Rose was more important then anything and she
would do whatever it took to see that those two made up.
"Things will seem better, I
promise," she told Rose, who just sighed heavily and started off into
space.
It was quiet for a minute before the sound of
the doorbell once more echoed throughout the house.
"It's him, oh my God. It's Jack,"
she whispered frantically. "I can't speak with him now." She stood up
and started pacing around again.
Dianna jumped up as well and tried to calm
Rose down. "Hun, it's probably not him." She looked around and then
finally said, "Why don't you take a bath, get cleaned up. Then we can deal
with this."
Rose nodded weakly and then stopped pacing.
"Okay, I am going to go see who that is
and then I'll be back."
Rose watched uncomprehendingly as Dianna left
the room and closed the door. She was alone again, she realized. Slowly, she
turned around and looked at the empty bathtub. Mechanically, she moved toward
it and started running hot water, not caring how warm the water got. Slowly,
almost in a trance, she started pealing off the layers of clothes she wore.
Layer after layer, as if stripping away the last forty-eight hours. Finally,
she stood nude in front of the mirror. She had lost weight; her arms and legs
looked kind of pathetic, along with about fifty other parts of her body. The
only place that didn't look deprived of nourishment was her already-swollen
belly. And although it would be a few more months before she really stared to
show, you could just barely tell of the presence it held. Tenderly, she ran her
hands over her abdomen, as if to caress the life it carried within. She had
wanted so much for her baby, but know where were they headed?
Tiredly, Rose climbed into the bathtub and
shut off the water. She closed her eyes and let steaming liquid wash around
her. For the first time in a while, she felt a tiny shimmer of hope. Maybe,
just possibly, with a little love and some help from God, she and Jack would
make it okay.
"Rose?" Dianna knocked softly on
the door and then pushed it open. Rose sank down in the water so that only her
neck and head were visible and watched as Dianna came in. The look on her face
was enough for Rose.
"It was him; wasn't him?"
Dianna just nodded as she put the lid of the
toilet down and then sat upon it. "It was Jack, you were right."
"What did he say?"
"Well," Dianna began. "He
asked me if I had seen you--"
"You said no right?" Rose asked,
interrupting what Dianna was trying to say.
"Yes, I said that I hadn't seen
you," Dianna promised before quickly continuing on. "He got really
sad, Rose, and kind of mumbled an okay before kind of shrugging off. I
called him back and asked if he was doing all right and he said no."
"Did he mention the children?" Rose
asked, suddenly worrying about them.
"No, but I am sure they are either at
home or at Jennifer's or something. Anyway, I asked if I could do something.
This time he just shrugged and then said, If you see Rose, tell her I am
really sorry and that I am looking for her. I'll be at the house. And then
he turned and left."
Rose didn't say anything. She didn't know
what to think now. Jack was sorry, but was she? And how did she know he was
telling the truth. Of course, Jack had never lied to her before. Then again,
Jack had never yelled at her before either. She twirled little circles in the
water with her finger while she contemplated all of the information she had
just been handed.
"Did he really say sorry?" Rose
asked softly after a few minutes.
Dianna gave her a tiny smile and then nodded.
"Yeah, he did. He looked it too Rose. He wasn't lying, I promise
you."
Rose crinkled her nose up and then blew out
some excess air. She still loved him, she realized, and she was sorry too. But
all those things they had said still floated in the air. It would hard to get
passed them. "What do I do now?" she asked of Dianna.
"Go back to him," Dianna said
simply.
Rose looked at her friend for a minute and
then slowly started nodding. She would try to go back, even if it killed her.
*****
"Here...." Dianna said, some time
later, as she walked into the room where Rose was pacing back in forth in a
bathrobe, a thoughtful look on her face. She threw a bundle of fabric at Rose,
who caught it and then held it up.
"A dress?" Rose asked, looking at
the soft fabric. "What is this for?"
Dianna raised her eyebrows up and smiled a
teasing smile. "To entice your husband with, silly."
Rose's eyes widened and she shook her head.
"Oh, no, no, no Dianna. I can't. One, I am not even sure how I am going to
handle this yet. And two, your dress size is at least two times smaller then
mine is."
"It's big on me anyway, and you said you
lost weight, right? Granted you are pregnant, but that doesn't matter. And
plus, a tight dress never hurt any woman."
"But--" Rose tried to protest, but
Dianna cut her off.
"Not another word. Just try it on,
please."
Rose gave her a sideways glance and then
shook her head again. "All right, fine. But if I look silly in it I am not
wearing it."
Dianna grinned and then started out of the
room. "I am coming back in a minute rather you are ready or not."
"Good-bye," Rose said, closing the
door behind Dianna, who had started laughing. She crossed the room and stood in
front of the full length mirror. Here goes nothing, she thought and then
quickly slipped off the bathrobe. She pulled the dress over her head and let it
fall around her knees. Surprisingly, she could get it on. The black fabric was
made out of some silky material Rose could not identify, but it looked
tantalizing when she walked back and forth. It was tight, and the v-neckline
made her breasts stand out. She had to admit, it did make her look a bit sexy.
"Ready?" Dianna called as she
opened the door and walked in. As soon as she saw Rose, her hands flew to her
month. "Oh, you look so wonderful Rose. Jack will never be able to resist
you. God, he'll probably fall to his knees right in front of you."
Rose blushed and looked down. "I guess
its okay," she mumbled as she looked back up at Dianna. "But I need
shoes, and maybe something to wear with it."
"You can borrow my shoes, your locket is
still in the bathroom, and you can wear a pair of my earring's. Problem
solved."
Rose sighed and sat down on the bed.
"Okay, so I'll look nice. But I how to I approach him Dianna? I mean, what
will I say? I can't just show up and go, Hey darling, I am sorry too. Let's
jump in the sack. That is not how you're supposed to do it. And plus, Jack
likes to talk things out sometimes."
Dianna crossed the room and sat down next to
Rose. "You just have to go over there. Once you see him, you'll know what
to say."
"Yeah," Rose mumbled. "I just
have to get the courage to do it all."
"It will be fine," Dianna promised,
giving Rose a little smile. "Oh, and guess what? I called over to
Jennifer's. The kids are over at her house for the night; Jack explained the
situation to her and she offered to watch them until tomorrow."
Rose sighed and then flopped back onto the
bed. She sighed heavily for the billionth time, it seemed like, and then sat
back up. She glanced at the clock; it was just after three in the afternoon
already.
"You ready?" Dianna asked, breaking
through Rose's thoughts.
Rose turned and looked at Dianna. "I
guess so," she mumbled, feeling more scared then she had been in a long
time. The only thought that raced through her mind was, What happens if we
don't work things out?