ALL THE WAY
Chapter Twenty-Three
July 1931
"Can I come in?"
It was a beautiful July afternoon, and poor
Rose was confined to a hospital bed, having just given birth to her fifth
child. She had been trying to sleep for a brief period of time and it seemed
that that time was now up. Her family was finally here.
The smell of sick people, medicine, and
babies filled the air as Rose turned her head weakly toward the sound of the
voice, which was followed by a quick knock. She just lay there and watched as
Jack’s head suddenly appeared from behind the door. He gave her a sweet smile
and then asked his question again. Rose nodded and then closed her eyes for a
moment. When she opened them again, her husband was standing in the room,
holding a ridiculously big bouquet of roses in his left hand, and what appeared
to be a bottle of soda in the other. He set the flowers down on the beside
table, but kept the bottle.
"Hey," she said softly to Jack who
started to pull up a nearby chair. He sat down on it and reached out to take
her hand in his.
"Hi," he replied back as before
leaning over and kissing her forehead. "Your mother and the children are
in the waiting room. They wouldn’t let the children past there, so your mother
stayed behind to make sure all hell didn’t break loose. I told them I’d bring
the baby down, if they’ll let me, in a few minutes." Jack paused for a
moment while Rose smiled at him. "Oh, and I brought you a soda," he
went on, holding up the bottle.
Rose laughed at the simple, yet sweet, gift
and motioned to the nightstand. "You can put it there for now. Thank you
though," she said amidst trying to sit up, which Jack helped her with,
"you won’t believe what they are feeding me here."
Jack scrunched up his nose. "Not great
eh?"
"It makes Mom’s cooking taste like a
gourmet meal."
Jack laughed, "I’ll try to sneak some
real food in tomorrow." He smiled at her for a few minutes while she just
lay there. "How are you doing?" he finally asked.
"Oh, all right, I got up and walked
around a little bit this morning, but I got really tired so I just came back
here." She rolled her eyes. "These nurses are driving me crazy. Jack,
I swear it was easier just having babies at home."
"How’s she doing?"
Rose smiled, softly this time.
"Fine," she said gently. It had been touch and go for a little while
yesterday. Their daughter had been breech, a complication that had not been
known until the last minute. The doctor had been concerned for both Rose and
the child at first, and had discussed with Jack the different things that might
happen if they were to progress normally. He had taken in all these potential
problems, but eventually decided that they should go ahead as normal. The other
option of cutting Rose open had far greater risks, and he wasn’t about to go
that far. Rose had agreed and they had proceeded with caution. For a while
things hadn’t looked too good, but at the last minute the baby had flipped
unexpectedly. From there things progressed somewhat normally, and, after some
time, their daughter was welcomed into the world, but not without a careful
examination immediately after. To everyone’s surprise, the nurses found a slow,
if not irregular, heartbeat on the baby and had whisked her away where they
could monitor her under very careful eye. It had been hours before the nurses
gave them the news that the baby was doing better then before and that she
should be fine. Meanwhile hours spent waiting for news had been very tentative
for both Jack and Rose. Neither for them knew what to think and both were
blaming themselves. It had been awful. It was not until after the joyful
announcement had been made that Rose finally got to hold her for the first
time. She had sat studying her daughter for the longest time, amazed, as Jack
looked on. It was such a little miracle. Everything had been fine since then,
but it could still take a turn for the worse if they weren’t careful.
It was just then that the nurse came walking
in holding a bundle. Jack turned around in his chair and watched she approached
Rose and gently laid the baby in her mother’s arms. She just held her for a
minute while the nurse fused around with the pillows, allowing Rose to sit up
more. She then did a routine check on Rose, which only took a few minutes, but
even so, it was slightly personal. Jack just sat there feeling proud and slightly
embarrassed at the same time.
The nurse finished quickly. "I’ll be
back in a few minutes then," she said before leaving the room as quietly
as she had entered.
Jack turned his full attention back to Rose
and the baby. He watched as she stared in amazement at the little girl.
"We still need a name," he
whispered to his wife after a few minutes.
Rose groaned, but she was smiling. They had
been back and forth about names for months now. It was getting hard; all of the
names that they liked were either taken by someone in their family, or by one
of their friends. And some names just didn’t go with Dawson. They had very
sensitively decided on Elizabeth a few days ago, but now that Rose was holding
her daughter, it didn’t feel right. She just didn’t feel like an Elizabeth.
"I just don’t know," she said
softly. "She is not an Elizabeth, Jack. What are we going to do?"
Jack sighed, Rose was right; it wasn’t the
name for their daughter. But what was? He looked at the girl again and studied
her. Physically, she was different from the other children. She had pale skin,
soft delicate hands, and light, almost blonde, brown hair, which was different
from the other girls. Her eyes, although he had only seen them a couple of
times, were very blue, like his own. She needed a strong, established, feminine
name that wasn’t Elizabeth.
"Gweneth?" he offered cautiously,
after scanning his mind for a minute.
Rose shook her head. "Veto, everyone
would call her Winnie or something. It would drive me crazy," she argued.
"How about Katharine though?"
"No," Jack said as he shook his
head. "That doesn’t fit either."
The baby started to cry just then and Rose
begin to fuss with her. Jack got up from his chair and started pacing around
the room. It was going to drive him nuts until they figured out a name. She
couldn’t just be ‘The Baby’ for the rest of her life. He stared out the window
for a while, as if to find the answer out there. It didn’t work though; he
still came up with no solution. All he could see were the tops of a lot of
trees and some birds. Sighing, he turned back to Rose, who was now nursing the
baby.
"She doing okay?" he asked.
Rose looked up from admiring the baby and
smiled. "Yes, nursing just fine," she said, although somewhere along
the line she had started looking back at the baby and talking in funny little
tones. Jack didn’t pick up the few last words of what she had said.
"I miss having a baby around," she
said after another minute. She looked up at Jack. "This is going to be so
great."
Jack didn’t say anything, just smiled. It was
indeed going to be great; he would admit that much. But he also was thinking
about all the late nights and early mornings, all the crying, diapers, toilet
training all over again, and everything else that went along with parenting.
Not that he minded any of it, he would do it if he needed to, he wanted to in
fact. It was just that he and Rose were not getting any younger. It might be
harder this time around.
Slowly, he walked back over to the bed and
after a moment sat down on the edge. He put his arm around Rose, who turned and
smiled at him, and then he managed to scoot closer. Gently he picked up one of
their daughter’s hands and looked at it. His love of hands had never ceased. He
still thought they were exquisite, possibly one of the most magnificent parts
of the human body. The little girls hands were like Rose’s; he could tell that
already.
"What are you thinking?"
Rose’s question broke through his thoughts.
He gently placed the baby’s hand down and looked at his wife. "I’m
thinking," he said slowly, "that five children is enough." This
comment made Rose start to chuckle as she nodded her head.
"I think you are right," she
agreed. After that she was silent again, leaving Jack to ponder the name
business again.
Jack really wasn't sure what he and Rose were
going to do. Rose didn't seem to be to worried though at the moment, she just
kept staring down at the little girl with admiration. She would pick up one of
her hands, look it over, softly brush her hair, and then she would at Jack and
smile before doing it all over again.
Before long, the girl finished nursing and pulled
away from Rose's breast. Out of habit, Rose went to burp her and then softly
rocked her back and forth as her daughter fell asleep. Jack checked his watch
and then mumbled that he better take her out to see the family before the nurse
came back. Rose agreed, softly kissed the baby on its head, and the gently
handed her over to Jack. He stood up carefully from the bed and cradled his
daughter in his arms. She was so tiny; he'd forgotten how small and frail she
was.
"I'll be right back," he promised
to Rose, who just smiled and then shooed him out of the room with a swoosh of
her hand.
Jack made his way down the hall, alternating
his glances between what was in front of him and the child. He was so nervous
that it seemed so far to the waiting room. He was scared that he might bump
into something or someone and she would go away. Or that when he showed her to
everyone she would be horribly deformed and they would laugh and point. The
waiting room stretched out forever. And by the time he reached it, it felt like
he had been walking for an hour, when even though it had only been a minute or
two.
The rest of his family rose when he entered
and they all excitedly gathered around him. Everyone began talking at once and
Jack breathed a sigh of relief that he had made it here all right. He had to
turn his attention to the people in front of him though because everyone kept
asking things of him. Jillian wanted to know when she could hold her, Ruth and
Danielle wanted to know what her name was, and Luke was wondering if he could
see his mother. Michael was the only one not talking, but simply was watching
on. Jack couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw a look of shock or amazement
in the boy's eyes, like he couldn't believe it. Jack made a mental note to talk
to Michael in a minute.
Softly, he handed the baby over to Ruth who
held her in complete awe. Jack hadn't realized that this was her first baby
grandchild. It must feel strange to her, he thought. Gently, he placed a hand
on her shoulder and she looked up at him and smiled. Jack smiled back and then
moved over where to Michael was standing, his arms crossed and that same look
on his face. His son didn't say anything as he came and stood by him, he didn't
even look at him. They stood there watching the rest of the family play pass
the baby and Jack began to wonder if Michael even knew he was there.
"You doing okay?" Jack asked after
a minute. He didn't look at Michael, just asked his question.
Michael was dragged out of his trance and
looked up at his dad. "Yeah, sure, why wouldn't I be?"
Jack shrugged and continued not look at him.
"You've just been really quiet."
Michael didn't say anything again for a long
time. He went back to looking at the family and kept quiet. Finally, he broke
the silence. "It's just weird," he commented. "I can't believe
you and Mom made her."
Jack didn't know whether to laugh or be
shocked. Just how much about husband and wife relations did his son know? He
knew that neither he nor Rose had explained it to him yet; they hadn't thought
he was mature enough last year. And well, the last nine months had been so
crazy that they hadn't thought about it. But of course the boy was fifteen,
certainly old enough to figure things out. Maybe he had heard something at
school. Or perhaps he had heard it from Jillian, who had been told when she
started her monthly cycle.
"You don't have to look so shocked Dad,
I'm not a little kid anymore." And with that Michael walked off toward the
baby. Jack just stood there for a minute longer, not knowing what to say or
even think. He was impressed in the least, that his son would have the guts to
say something like that. He certainly was growing up.
Jack sighed and looked around, attempting to
clear his mind. His eyes instinctively began to fall upon the artwork in the
room, and to his surprise, he spotted some work that he had once had hanging in
his gallery. There were some landscapes, a couple of still lifes, all
impressive. But it was the last painting that Jack came to that really caught
his eye. It was a beautifully done oil portrait of the Virgin Mary holding the
baby Jesus. Mary's eyes spoke to him in a way that only artists can understand
and he began to feel a little dizzy. He shook his head to get rid of the
feeling and all at once the solution to the name problem came to him. Quickly,
he placed the first name he had just come up with together with Dawson. It fit;
in fact it was a beautiful name. But the question was would Rose like it or
not?
"I'd better take her back," Jack
said coming over to Jillian, who was holding her baby sister. "We
shouldn’t get her too excited or anything right now."
Jillian nodded and handed the baby over to
her dad. He took her and then mumbled that he would be back out in a few
minutes before walking back to Rose's room. He was excited about his name and
couldn't believe that he and Rose hadn’t talked about it before. It was such a
simple solution.
Knocking briefly, he came into Rose's room.
His expression on his face must have shocked her because she sat up as quickly
as she could and asked what was the matter.
"I've got it," he told her plainly,
as he looked down at the baby.
"You have what?"
"A name for her."
"Really?" Rose asked excitedly as
she motioned for him to come over. He did so and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Well, what is it?"
Jack took a big dramatic pause and then came
out with it. "Mary," he said excitedly. And then more proudly,
"Mary Rose Dawson."
Rose raised her eyebrows. Jack couldn't tell
if she loved the name or not, she wasn't showing any emotion. She was just kind
of sitting there, looking at him and the baby.
"Well?"
"It's pretty Jack," she sighed
heavily, "but Mary is just so popular. I know a half a dozen kids with the
same name." She reached over and pulled the blanket away from her
daughter's face and studied the girl.
"So what? Elizabeth is too, and we were
going to go with that."
Rose didn't say anything, just looked at her
daughter. And the more she looked, the more she could tell. The girl was
clearly a Mary. And what Jack had said about the name was true, it was
popular, but so was Elizabeth. And that had been her name for so long. So why
not go with another popular name?
She slowly looked up at Jack and then her
mouth broke into a smile. "Okay," she said after a second.
Jack looked at her in a mixture of shock and
happiness. "You mean it?" he asked in disbelief.
Rose reached over and gently took the girl
from Jack. She looked at her a second more, and then started nodded.
"Yes," she said affirmatively. "I really do." She smiled at
Jack. "She's definitely a Mary."
Jack leaned over and kissed Roses on the
cheek and then settled in next to her. "Hello Mary," he whispered to
her as she began to open her eyes. "Welcome to the Dawson family," he
continued on. He said more things like that while Rose just watched. She was
laughing in her head at what he was saying. It was too sweet for her to say
anything about how funny his voice sounded. So she just kept quiet and
continued watching as Jack talked to their little Mary.