AN ADVENTURE TO REMEMBER AND A MEMORY TO FORGET
Chapter Ten
I watched Harry walk off towards
his quarters. How I longed to run after him, but it was clear Rose needed me. I
made my way through the halls to get to her suite and knocked on the door. She
didn’t answer so, I let myself in.
"Rose?" I peeked inside
the door, but didn’t see her. "Rose? Where are you?" I heard a noise
coming from the back of her stateroom. I quietly let myself in and shut the
door behind me. I started to walk towards the back of her room, where I heard
the noise.
"Damn it! Damn it! I hate
this!" I heard her call out from the room.
"Rose? It’s me, Victoria.
Where are you?"
She came out, obviously
flustered. "I’m sorry, Victoria. I just don’t know what to do." Rose
was walking around with one of her hands holding up her head. "It’s Jack.
When I disappeared from the tour earlier, he had sneaked up to the deck to see
me."
I stopped to look at her.
"What did he do?"
"Oh, nothing like that. He
just wanted to tell me how amazing I was and how if I stayed with Cal and in this
life, I’d die. Do you think that?" She sat down on one of the chairs in
the room. I took the chair next to her.
"Rose, I know how unhappy
you are with Cal. I don’t know why you decided to marry him in the first place
if you’re so unhappy, but I’m sure you must have a reason. I do know how you
react to Jack when he’s around. He brings out something in you, your passion
for life I know you have. Cal can’t see that, or he doesn’t want you to show
it. Jack doesn’t care. That’s why you like him so much, isn’t it?"
She thought for a minute.
"Yes. He asked me to get off the ship with him when he docks." She
laughed. "Mother would just die. She’d disown me for sure if I went with
Jack." Rose stood up and walked to the port window in her room. She turned
to face me. "But you know what? I don’t care. I’m happy with Jack. I’m
unhappy with Cal. Jack is right. I’m a strong woman, but Cal is going to kill
me." Rose started towards her dress closet. She selected one of her shawls
and started to the door. "Goodness. I forgot completely to ask you what
happened with Harold. What did happen?" She smiled at me as she walked
back to the chair next to me.
I began to blush. "I told
him I loved him."
"Victoria! Do you? Does he
love you? What did he say?" She leaned in forward to hear what I had to
say.
"He said he loved me, too.
How in the world do I break this to Father? He’s got his eye set on some young
steel businessman like himself. How do I tell him who I love? He’ll be
crushed."
Rose thought for a moment.
"You really shouldn’t be so hard on him. You know how fathers are. Or at
least, how every one of them but mine was. He just wants you happy. You see
what I am about to do? I’m about to throw caution to the wind and find someone
who has exactly ten dollars in his pocket, with absolutely nothing beyond that
to offer me, according to him. But you know what?" She paused to look at
me. I shrugged my shoulders and she went on. "I don’t care. Cal has more
money than any other person in America. But all the money in the world can’t
make you happy. Jack has nothing, yet when I am with him, I’m the richest woman
in the world."
I sighed. "Sounds like you
have it all figured out. Can you will me some of what you’ve got? I think I’m
going to need it, and the courage to tell Father how I feel about Harry when we
dock."
Rose looked at me. "You have
it in you. You just have to know how to find it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I
need to go find Jack. I think I know where he is." Rose opened the door,
and I got up to follow her out.
"I hope you find what you’re
looking for."
She told me the same thing, and I
watched her walk down the hall. I smiled, knowing what she was going to do.
I decided to go for a walk up on
deck before heading back in to check on my sister, who was probably in her
room. I wasn’t up there long before I ran into Harry again.
"I thought I might find you
here." I turned around, hearing that Welsh voice with a smile on my face.
"Something told me to go for
a walk." I walked towards him as I was speaking.
"I’m glad you got the same
feeling I did." He leaned down to kiss me, and we walked behind the
lifeboats, out of sight. I got a longer, more passionate kiss. How I didn’t
want this to end!
"What are you doing out? I
thought you had to work?" I pulled back from Harry just enough to hear his
answer.
"Something told me to go for
a walk. Ever get those types of feelings where if you do something, something
good will happen?" He kissed me on my cheek when he got done speaking.
"I have once or twice. The
bad ones I usually get more. But nothing bad here."
"Good." Harry looked
around. "It’s kind of cold out. Do you want to go somewhere out of the
wind?"
I nodded, and he peeked around
the boat before leading me back to his room. One more look down the officer’s
hall and he led me into his room. He had no sooner gotten the door closed and
locked when something came over me. I walked up to him, wrapped my arms around
his neck, and pulled him in close to me. He kissed me and I fumbled back to the
bed. I almost fell over, but Harry caught me and held me tightly while he
kissed me even harder. A voice inside of me was telling me that this wasn’t
right, but I didn’t care. Harry walked me over to his bed, and all the while
still kissing me, lay me down. He began to unbutton the buttons on the back of
my dress. I slid it off and helped him with his shirt. He untied my corset, and
there I was, half naked on his bed. I was embarrassed. I started to sit up.
"Harry, I…"
He stopped me. "Victoria, I
love you. If this is what you want, let me know. Nothing has to happen that you
don’t want to happen. If you don’t want this to happen, just say stop."
"No. Don’t stop." I
reached around his neck and pulled him in closer to me. "I love you,
too."
We came together in a way I
didn’t know existed until now. I had heard about it from older women, but
having it actually happen was a completely different experience. The feelings I
had made me dizzy, tired, happy, and excited all at once. Harry was very gentle
and very sweet. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
I stayed in bed with him for
about an hour before I needed to get back and check on my sister. Harry helped
me get dressed, and he said he would see me at dinner. He’d make a point to
show up in the dining hall sometime before we retired for the night. I kissed
him good-bye and sneaked out of the officer’s hallway and back on the deck.
I made my way back into my room.
Belinda was up and feeling better. She was tidying my room when I walked in.
"Belinda, how are you
feeling?" I asked as I shut the door behind me.
She turned around to face me.
"Oh, much better, miss. Thank you for asking. Your father was just here.
He was looking for you. He said he’d be in his room and for you to go see him
when you get a chance."
I was nervous now. I walked
through my room and into the sitting room that separated Father’s room from
mine. I was weak when I knocked on the door.
"Come in."
"Father, Belinda said you
wished to speak to me."
Father looked up from his
reading. "Yes, Victoria. Please come in, and please shut the door behind
you. I need to speak with you."
Hearing those words was never a
good sign.