AN ADVENTURE TO REMEMBER AND A MEMORY TO FORGET
Chapter Twenty

Victoria’s POV

I stayed with Harry until he mentioned that he had to leave to go attend a meeting with the other officers from the Titanic. Since Captain Smith, Officer Wilde, and Officer Murdoch were killed in the sinking, I guessed they needed to regroup or something before we docked.

Rose was waiting with Jack inside the dining area. My father and Shannon were also with them.

"And when do you plan on getting married?" Shannon was talking to Rose.

Rose looked at Jack. "I guess when we dock in New York in the next day or so. I heard one officer say it’d be the morning of the nineteenth when we dock, or really late on the eighteenth. We can probably find a minister or a justice of the peace there who can marry us. Then we can begin our lives together for real as Jack and Rose Dawson."

I smiled as I realized what she was talking about. She had given the steward her name as Rose Dawson to keep Cal from finding her. "That sounds like a wonderful idea." I was sitting down as I was speaking.

Jack turned to face me. He was watching a young girl dance with someone who was evidently her father. She looked much the same as the girl from third class Jack had danced with on board the Titanic. There was a pained look in his eyes, as we all knew Cora hadn’t made it, and neither had her father. He sighed. Then he began to speak. "We’d very much love for you to be Rose’s maid of honor. And you," he said as he turned to Shannon. "We have a very important job for you."

Shannon’s interest got the better of her. "What’s that?"

Jack smiled and continued. "We want you to be our flower girl."

Shannon had never heard of the term. "What’s that? Is my dress made of flowers?"

Rose laughed. "No, sweetie. You get to help me. Your job is to hold some flowers and sprinkle the petals on the ground so I can walk on them. It’s for good luck." Shannon nodded, said she’d help, and busied herself finishing up her lunch.

Father spoke up. "I’d like to pay for the service, if you don’t mind. I have been watching the two of you, and there is no better way to spend my money than to help two lovebirds celebrate their union." He stopped to think for a moment. "We can have it at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel in New York when we arrive. I have a friend who is in charge of the dining area. I’m sure he can arrange for a private ceremony with all of us there." He looked at me. "Will Officer Lowe be joining us?"

I took a drink of my water. "I’m not sure. Jack wanted him to be his best man, and Harry said he’d do it. I’m sure when we dock there will be some sort of officers’ meeting that he’ll be required to attend, but I’m sure he can make it, or we can work with him and his schedule."

Father looked pleased. "Rose, you and Jack discuss when you’d like it to be after Victoria talks with Officer Lowe. Just let me know and I’ll pay for everything."

"Mr. Metcalfe, you don’t have to do that. Rose and I’ll be just fine." Jack was a proud man, unwilling to accept handouts.

"Mr. Dawson, please allow me to do this for you. My daughter and Rose are extremely close. It’d give me no greater pleasure. And consider it a wedding gift from all of us."

Rose looked at Jack, who nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Metcalfe. Jack and I are very grateful to accept your offer. You have no idea how much this means to both of us to be able to do this."

Father nodded and checked the time on his pocket watch. "I must be going. I am meeting up with someone else." He arose from the table, and Shannon got up with him. "I’m taking Shannon back to your room. Please check in on her later." I nodded, and he and Shannon walked off together.

"That was very generous of your father to do what he did." Rose looked at Jack again. "I feel bad for taking advantage of him like this."

"You’re doing no such thing. He wants to do this. And if there is one thing I know more than anything, when my father wants something, he goes after it."

Jack started to say something when he was interrupted by a strong Welsh accent coming from behind me. "There you are. I just passed your sister and father. They said you’d be in here." He had that award-winning smile again as he sat down. He kissed me gently on my cheek. "What did I miss while I was gone?"

"Father is going to pay for Jack and Rose’s wedding." Harry raised his eyebrows as I spoke. "Does your offer still stand to be Jack’s best man?"

"You bet it does. Just let me know when. The officers all got telegrams from the White Star offices in England. Something about a hearing that is going to happen with Congress once we dock. I’m sure we can work around it all." He smiled at me and put his arm protectively across the back part of my chair to keep me close to him. I could tell he wanted to talk to me about something, but with Rose and Jack with us, he didn’t want to speak in front of them.

We stayed with Rose and Jack for a few hours longer, talking more about Jack and Rose’s wedding plans. Rose mentioned that she was tired and wanted to go lie down. Jack said he’d walk Rose to her room. Dinner was about to be served, so Harry and I just stayed where we were. We watched the Carpathia passengers walk in. Most of them knew which passengers were the Titanic survivors, so watching the looks they gave us made me very uncomfortable.

"Victoria, you don’t look well. Are you all right?" Harry leaned over to feel my forehead, checking for a fever.

I scanned the room, trying to find any friendly face. All I saw were Carpathia passengers. Passengers who had no idea what Harry and I went through. They had no idea that I had lost my friend and my personal attendant. They had no idea I had no clue if my father and sister were alive. They weren’t out in the water, listening as the screaming got softer and softer until all I heard was Rose faintly singing Come Josephine in my Flying Machine.

I looked right at Harry. "Get me out of here." I started to get out of my chair. "Now." I started to walk towards the exit, not even bothering to see if Harry was with me or not. I was already outside and walking to the railing of the deck when he caught up with me.

"Victoria, what is wrong with you?" He stood next to me with a genuinely concerned look on his face.

I pointed back to the dining area. "They don’t get it. They don’t understand."

Harry looked confused. "They don’t get what? Who are they? The passengers?"

I nodded and went on. "They will never know what we all went through. I can’t eat out here in public. From now on, I am going to have my meals delivered to my stateroom. I can’t deal with this."

I began to walk off and Harry caught me by the arm. He spun me around to face him. "Damn it, Victoria. Talk to me." I couldn’t speak. Instead, I felt myself walk towards Harry, collapse in his arms, and cry. I cried harder than I had ever cried before in my life. I cried so hard I got the shakes and began to heave. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. I looked at Harry, and he nodded, carried me inside, and down a long corridor to what I guessed was his room when we got there. He gently laid me on the bed, walked back, and shut the door. I sat up while he was closing the door.

"I’m sorry." I reached for a handkerchief he had on his nightstand. "I’m sorry. I bet you must think I’m a mental patient escaped from an asylum."

He smiled at me and gently kissed my forehead. He put his hand on my cheek. He got down on the floor in front of me and held my hands as he spoke. "Victoria, I can’t imagine what you went through after the ship sank. There I was, safe in my lifeboat. I didn’t have to worry about the freezing water or how long I could last. I was safe. I was doing my job by keeping the passengers in my boat safe. While I was doing that, I was praying the hardest prayer I could to God or anyone up there who would listen that you’d be okay. I didn’t care about anything else other than you." He stopped to look up at me. I noticed a tear forming in his left eye. I took the handkerchief in my hand and gently dabbed it as he continued. "I’ve been sailing now for a long time. We’ve had issues on trips before, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen anything like this. I, too, get the looks from the officers on board here. They ask me what it was like. They ask why I was I the only one to go back. Why didn’t I just ensure my safety and save myself and float there like a good little officer until another ship came to rescue me? Do you want to know why I went back?"

I nodded my head. "Yes. I do. You were the only one to go back. If it hadn’t been for you, I would…I would…oh, God. I wouldn’t have made it. My father would have…" I broke down crying again. "My father would have had to bury me if it hadn’t been for you. Shannon would have lost her only sister if it weren’t for you. Do you have any idea what you did?"

Harry swallowed hard. "I went back because I could hear my conscience telling me it was the right thing do to. I wouldn’t have wanted to go on living if I didn’t do something. I knew I could get the passengers out of my boat and into another lifeboat and go back. Even if I only found one person alive, my trip was worth it. I only saved six, you, Jack, and Rose included. I needed to do something. I listened in my boat as we bobbed gently up and down with the rhythm of the waves. The screaming was so loud as my boat was being launched. I had passengers jumping off the decks into my boat, landing on people. I had to fire my gun out into the ocean to get people to shut up and listen. It was chaotic. So very chaotic. I hope I never deal with anything like that again. I’m not sure I’m able to."

I stopped to realize Harry had gone through just about as much as I had. He wasn’t in the water like I was, but he had the moral dilemma to contend with, just as I had. "Thank you. I owe you my life. Thank you." I leaned in to kiss Harry. I kissed him hard; harder than I had ever kissed him before. I don’t know what came over me. I began to unbutton his shirt. He began to help me with the buttons on the back of my one-size-too-large borrowed dress. He stood up and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him and he and I fell back on the bed. He finished undressing me and took the rest of his clothing off. What followed next was powerful; it wasn’t sweet and gentle as the first time we made love. There was something else behind it, something I hadn’t experienced yet. But it was something I wanted more of. The passion alone I felt was worth the risks I was taking. I wanted nothing else than to be with Harry forever.

We fell asleep for about an hour after we were done. It was my first time sleeping for more than a few minutes at a time since I had been brought on board the Carpathia. While I was in the ship’s hospital, I kept getting woken up by Rose and Jack, as well as Harry and the doctor’s comings and goings. I told Harry I needed to get back to my stateroom before my father found out. He helped me get my clothes back on and I helped him find his clothes. He put his coat around me, and together he walked me to the entrance of my room.

"Tory, I love you, and I am going to marry you." He kissed me gently on my lips. "When we dock, I’m going to get you a ring and ask you all proper on bended knee and everything to marry me."

"I don’t need a ring. I just need you." I kissed him back.

"But it’s proper. I want you to have everything. You are my everything, so you deserve everything."

"I love you, too."

He reached forward to hug me. "I know you probably won’t sleep, but please try. I’ll bring you breakfast tomorrow morning."

I nodded. "It’s a date, Officer Lowe."

He opened the door to my room and kissed me one more time as I walked in.

I tiptoed into my room. Rose was already sleeping. Shannon was curled up on the couch. I tried to wake her up to come to bed with Rose and me, but she wouldn’t budge, so I left her there. I climbed in between the sheets, careful not to wake Rose, but she wasn’t sleeping very well.

"Where have you been?" She rolled over to face me.

"With Harry. We were going to eat dinner in the dining area, but I just couldn’t. I’m sick of being labeled one of the poor passengers from the Titanic. I’m more than that. I’m a human being who, yes, survived the disaster, but I’m sick of the labels."

She looked at me a moment before proceeding. "Now you know how I felt with Cal. I was his bride, his possession, or his slave. I didn’t want to be that. I am an equal and deserve to be treated as such. Jack would never think of me as that. I love him for that. With him, I am simply Rose. Nothing more, nothing less. It is a great feeling after being trapped in a world such as the one I was trapped in."

"Are you going to miss your mother? Your family? How are you going to do this?"

I saw tears form in Rose’s eyes. "With you by my side. With Jack helping me and with Harry’s help. I can do this. I have to do this. I couldn’t stay in the life I was in. I wouldn’t have survived. I would have become one of those emotionless society empty shell people, and I didn’t want that. Jack saw I was better than that, and he saved me. He saved me in every way a woman can be saved." She dabbed her tears with the corner of the sheet. "I know I can do this. I’ll miss Mother. I won’t even have a photo of her anymore. All of my worldly possessions went down with the ship. Well, almost all of them."

"What are you talking about? The dress you had on? Rose, I doubt even the finest tailor in New York can save that. Why on earth would you want them to?" She shook her head as she kicked off the covers, walked over to the closet, and picked out the black coat she had had on. She gently reached into the pocket and pulled something out. She walked back to the bed and got under the covers with me before she showed me. She pulled out a beautiful diamond necklace and handed it to me.

"Rose, where did you get this? It’s stunning!" I held up the diamond to examine it more closely. The center diamond was a blue color with simple, clear diamonds surrounding the stone.

"Cal. It was my engagement gift. He wanted me to wear it at the engagement gala next week. He evidently put it in the pocket of the coat when he handed it to me on deck, remember? He put Lovejoy’s coat on you?" I nodded and she continued. "While you were sleeping in the ship’s hospital, I put my hands in my pockets because I was cold, and there it was. Jack doesn’t know. Think I can sell it?"

"Rose, you can sell it and never have to worry about working again! You or Jack, but you need to tell him. Perhaps you can trade it in on a set of wedding rings?"

Rose shook her head. "No. I don’t want to look down at my finger and see a memory of Cal there every time I look at Jack’s ring. I’ll probably sell it and use the money to buy a house or an apartment for us, all of us, Harry and you included."

"You don’t have to do that."

"Please. If your father is going to pay for our wedding, I can at least help you with your house when you and Harry get married. It’s my gift to you, is what you said to me when I was about to argue with your father."

I knew better than to argue with Rose. She had made up her mind and was dead set on doing it. "As you wish. But let’s see how much we can get for it first before you go promising Harry and me a house."

"Good night, Victoria."

I pulled the covers up close to my head. "Good night, Rose." She turned off the light on the stand and the room went dark. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

Chapter Twenty-One
Stories