JOHN AND ROSE
Chapter Sixteen
As the train left Cedar Rapids behind, Rose
turned to John, smiling brightly. In spite of her mother’s questions and the
complaining of the three teenagers, she was happy. Her life had taken some
strange twists and turns, but marriage was something she had begun to believe
would never happen for her. She had been unwilling to marry simply for the sake
of marriage; she had a life and a career of her own. She had also had her son
to consider; she never considered marriage, or even a long-term relationship,
with any man who could not accept her child.
Rose had been determined to marry only for
love, not for any other reason. After her disastrous engagement to Caledon
Hockley, she had realized what was really important. Had Jack lived, she
undoubtedly would have married him, but fate had taken her in another
direction. She smiled, thinking of how her own impulsiveness had saved her from
a life she couldn’t stand, and how the impulsiveness of another young girl–Mary–had
brought her to where she was now. For if Mary hadn’t run off to Hollywood, John
would never have followed her there, and he and Rose might never have been
reunited. But they had been, and now they were married.
It seemed strange, the way things worked out
sometimes, but she doubted that she would have been satisfied with life if it
were any other way. She liked the adventure that her life was, liked not
knowing from day to day what was going to happen. And she loved John, loved the
two daughters he had brought to their marriage, as much as she loved her own
son. They had been like daughters to her when they were small, and now they
called her Mom.
If she had never met Jack, John would have been
the one man to win her heart. But she had known Jack, and probably would never
have known John if she hadn’t. A part of her heart would always be Jack’s, just
as, she suspected, a part of John’s heart would always belong to Miriam, who
had also been lost in the sinking of the Titanic, and perhaps even to Jane,
Mary’s mother, though she knew that the match had not been as happy as they had
hoped, and might have been very unhappy after a time, if Jane had lived.
She looked up as John put an arm around her
shoulders. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, seeing her
pensive expression.
She smiled up at him. "Mostly about how
much I love you, and about how happy I am."
He smiled back at her. "Me, too."
Rose laughed, recognizing the traces of a
British accent that he had never quite lost, even after fifteen years in
America, and hoped he never would. She found it quite charming. She leaned
against him, ignoring the disapproving looks of a few people on the train.
Reaching for his left hand with her own, she admired the simple, elegant rings
on their fingers.
"It feels different, being
married," she commented, relaxing against his shoulder with a contented
sigh.
"How so?"
"I don’t know, really–it just does.
Maybe it’s because we’re a family now."
"Yes," John joked, laughing.
"We’ve been married less than twenty-four hours, and we already have three
children."
"And they already have sibling
rivalry."
"I think they started in on that before
we were married, especially Mary and Christopher."
"Well, Mary’s a little too sensitive
sometimes, and Christopher...well...he’s a fourteen-year-old boy. Enough
said."
"Nadia has always been the calm one, but
I think the three of them are quite capable of coming up with some ungodly
schemes."
Rose laughed. "So was I. As I recall, at
Mary’s age I was carrying a baby and working for you, as unfamiliar with my new
life as the rest of you were. You were foreigners and I was high society. Don’t
tell me you never did anything questionable."
"Who, me?" John gave her an
innocent look. "Actually, looking back, I think some of the things I tried
were a little shocking, though my parents could tell you just how shocking much
better than I could."
"I think it comes with being young. We
all have to try things out, try to find out own way, no matter how much our
parents wish we wouldn’t. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Mother
still acts like I’m her little girl–except for the fact that I’m a mother
myself. Now she wants more grandchildren, so that she can watch them grow up,
since she didn’t meet Mary and Nadia until recently, and didn’t meet
Christopher until he was twelve years old. Up until a short time before that,
she’d thought that I had died in the sinking of the Titanic. I must say, I
think that both Mother and I are better people now than we were when we set
sail on that ship. It made both of us grow up and learn what was really
important–like love and family, instead of money. Had you been wealthy back
then, she would have pushed me at you if I hadn’t been engaged to Cal first.
But now, she’s just happy that I’ve found someone that I can love and be happy
with."
John looked at her for a moment,
contemplating what she had said. "I love you, too, Rose. I have for a long
time, even though I know that if we had married early on, it wouldn’t have
worked. We needed to go our separate ways in order to find out what we really
wanted out of life. Now that we’ve found those things, and done the things we
wanted to do, we’re ready for this."
Rose nodded. "Life has never exactly
been easy, but it’s always been worth it. And I’ve been lucky–I’ve married a
man who understands that, who doesn’t mind if I continue with the life I’ve
established, even as we change our lives to include each other and our
children." She paused. "John, do you want more children?"
He looked a little surprised, having not
thought that far ahead. Rose, his daughters, and Christopher had been occupying
his mind of late, and the idea of more children hadn’t really occurred to him.
"It could happen," Rose pointed
out. "We both know already that we’re capable of having them–you have Mary
and I have Christopher. And while we’re not as young as we once were, we’re not
old, either, and more children are a possibility–especially if we keep going
like we did last night."
He grinned, reddening a little. "You’re
right about that!"
His voice was a little too loud, and Rose
elbowed him in the side, reminding him that there were some things she would
just as soon not tell the world about. He lowered his voice.
"Do you want more children?" he
asked her.
Rose sat quietly for a moment, considering.
"I think I would. It would be nice to hold a baby in my arms again, even
if it would mean starting a second family. Mary, Nadia, and Christopher are
getting close to grown now. But it’s up to both of us. There are ways to
prevent a baby from starting–I don’t know if you know about them..."
"I know what they are," he told
her. "Some of them, anyway."
"They’re not always reliable–but they
work better than leaving things to chance. It’s something we need to decide, at
least for now, before we go to bed tonight. It could be too late to make a
decision already, but if not..."
John was silent for a moment, thinking about
what she had said. She was right–another child was a possibility, no matter how
careful they were. And they certainly hadn’t been careful the night before! But
another child, or children, would mean more rounds of diapers, terrible twos,
and adolescence–but it would also bring them the joys that came with parenting,
with raising children. Even when they misbehaved, he still loved his daughters,
and things did work out eventually. The hard times passed, and the better times
stayed in his memory more than the worse.
"Well?" Rose asked. "What do
you think we should do? I would like to try to have another baby, but it takes
both of us."
John looked at her, still unsure of whether
he wanted more children, but willing to try if it was what Rose wanted.
"I think that we could try. If it works,
we’ll start a second family. If not...well...it won’t be for lack of
trying."
Rose grinned at him. "Trying is the easy
part. I think we discovered that last night." She laughed at his red face,
unable to believe that a man forty years old could still blush at such things.
"Thank you, John. I’m one of the luckiest women alive, married to you. How
many women have been so fortunate, to find a man who listens to them and lets
them help make the decisions?"
"To quote Nadia, ‘Not enough’. She’s
very much interested in women’s rights, you know. I’m glad you think so highly
of me."
"Well, you’ve earned my praise and
respect. I don’t give those out to just anyone. I only give such things to
those who deserve them." Her eyes softened as she leaned against him
again. "I love you, John."
"And I love you, Rose Calvert."
Rose smiled up at him, feeling utterly
content.