AFTER STARTING ANEW
Chapter Twenty-Nine

Rose scanned the doorway of the dining room expectantly, watching for Jack to return. He’d mysteriously excused himself from the table after they had finished dessert, saying that he needed to get some change for the tip. It had sounded like somewhat of a suspicious excuse, but he had left so quickly that she hadn’t been able to get any more information out of him.

While she waited, her eyes moved around the beautiful dining room of the Brown Palace Hotel. It had been recently remodeled from the dark Regency style decor and now reflected the smooth flowing lines and soft colors of the latest ideas in decorating. The lighting was soft, while the pink and mauve tones and the curving walls made for a classic and elegant setting. Rose noticed that the other diners also were studying the features of the room, all of them enjoying the new relaxing atmosphere.

When Jack had picked her up after he was finished for the day and said that they were going to dine here, she had at first cringed. The old colors and furniture reminded her so much of the suites and first class lounges on Titanic. Tonight when they had so many other things to talk about, that was one reminder she did not need. Then she remembered that this restaurant had just been recently renovated. And so she had relaxed somewhat, fully aware that the dreaded time of getting things out in the open was still to come.

The meal itself had been delicious. A variety of mouth-watering selections were on the menu. Rose had chosen the rack of lamb and Jack, the sauteed Rocky Mountain Trout. He had even suggested they have dessert and had ordered strawberry parfaits for both of them. He had ordered some wine, but as soon as the waiter poured it into the glasses, Jack had matter-of-factly taken a sip, omitting the usual, funny little toasts he often made.

Throughout dinner they had wound their conversation around any topic except the one about their misunderstanding. They had skirted all the issues pertaining to the last week altogether, focusing instead on the food, the weather, and the activities of their children. Rose felt awkward and uncomfortable thinking that they had not yet gotten to the root of their problem. Every time she thought of the ordeal ahead, her stomach got a bit queasy. She just wanted to get it over with, and hopefully have Jack take her in his arms again. The one subject that seemed to distract them the most was the letter that had come today from Edy. She had decided to move her wedding up from next June to December. Her fiance had been accepted to do research in Washington, DC, and they did not want to be apart. Edy had said that she wanted a simple wedding and had said that she had written to Ruth to ask if she could be married in Arthur’s big house.

Rose had worried about how she would get a wedding put together in only eight weeks, and Jack reassured her, that no matter what she planned, Edy would still think it was perfect. She was too busy thinking about moving to Washington, and teaching school, to deal with a wedding. In the letter she had put all the arrangements in the hands of her mother, who, she said, "could take a corned beef hash dinner and make people think they were dining on the most elegant cuisine."

Now she and Jack had finished eating and had covered every mundane topic they could think of. She still didn’t understand why he had left the table so suddenly. After all, the waiter could have brought him the change. She glanced again at the doorway and saw him making his way back to her. Rose studied his face, trying hard to read his mood, wondering just what he would say to her about the awful way she had treated him. Certainly she hoped he would not raise his voice at her, but Jack’s quiet tones had been known to strike fear into the hearts of his children and now she quaked inside, knowing that whatever he might say to her, she fully deserved.

Try as she would to get some insight on his feelings, she saw only a mellow look on his face. There was no anger and the sad haunting expression that she had seen this morning was not as noticeable. She could not find a clue anywhere that could tell her what lay ahead. As he drew closer, she saw a slight smile on his face. His eyes lit up briefly when he saw she was watching him. He looked more like her old Jack. The Jack she loved and had hurt so very badly.

"Ready?" he asked. Jack concentrated on counting out some money and then placed it on the small silver tray with the bill. He straightened and as he did so he held his hand out to her.

She cocked her head to one side, not quite sure what Jack wanted her to be ready for. "Where are we going?" Slowly, she let him wrap his hand around hers. She looked questioningly into his face, but saw no answer to her question. Only a deep, contemplative look.

"Jack, where are you taking me?" They stood inside the paneled elevator car and she watched, mystified, as Jack told the elevator operator to take them to the tenth floor. Wordlessly, he put his finger up to his lips, silencing her from asking any more questions. Not wishing to attract any undue attention to themselves. The car slid up quietly and with a soft ding, the doors opened smoothly.

"Tenth floor," announced the tiny birdlike woman who sat on the stool next to the elevator controls.

He put his arm around her waist and gently propelled her to a long corridor on the right. The gold striped wallpaper passed in a blur as they walked quickly down the thickly carpeted hallway. They slowed for a minute as Jack looked at the numbers on the doors.

"Ten twenty eight," he repeated several times. "Here we are." Rose watched as he inserted the key into the lock. The door swung open to reveal a large and luxurious hotel room. She blinked her eyes in amazement as she saw the soft lights of a beautifully decorated room. An antique sleigh bed dominated the one wall. It was covered with a mauve colored satin coverlet. A pair of milk glass hurricane lamps glowed on either side of the bed. The rest of the room contained a small seating area with a loveseat and a chair, both covered in a rich tapestry material. It was very cozy and romantic. In her nervous and skittish mood, she felt totally out of place here. Not at all ready for the activities suggested by the ambiance of the room.

"Jack? Jack? I don’t understand. You said we have to talk." His back was towards her as he hung a Do Not Disturb sign on the outside of the door.

He tossed the key into a small bowl on the dresser. Then he turned and clicked the lock on the door. "There," he said, staring intently at her. "Now we are alone. Now we can talk." He removed his suit jacket and threw it on a chair, then rolled up his shirtsleeves, looking like he was preparing for some physically challenging task.

Rose lifted her forehead, still not sure why he had found it necessary to bring her here. They could have talked anywhere. In the car, on the street. "Jack, we can’t do this." Standing with his hands on his hips, staring at her, he made her feel quite unsure of herself. She had always felt that Jack could be a formidable enemy and now she had an idea of what it might be like to be on his opposing side.

"Do what?" His serious expression relaxed into a half smile.

She clenched her fists and sighed audibly. "First of all the sitter will be expecting us. Second, this is way too extravagant." Rose gestured to the satin drapes and bedspread. "And third, we have no clothes or anything to stay overnight." In spite of the seriousness of what they had to discuss, he could not contain a hint of laughter.

"All right. The answer to one is that I called Mrs. Winters and told her that we went away for dinner and something came up, that we won’t be back until morning." It suddenly dawned on her just why he had left the dinner table so abruptly. No doubt had been making these impromptu plans.

He watched closely as Rose’s face reddened. "Secondly, we have some money and we might as well spend it. No one will disturb us here. And thirdly, the Rose I married would not have been worried about something so trivial as clothes."

Rose felt the flush on her cheeks at Jack’s last remark. A pang of uneasiness shot through her stomach. The Rose he married. Certainly with her behavior of the last week, she was not the woman he married. The woman who had trusted him with her life and her future. She could only wonder how sad he must be feeling from the undeserved treatment she had given him. Before any other thoughts distracted her, she heard Jack clear his throat.

"Rose, we need to talk." He inclined his head toward the small sofa in the corner of the room. She followed him across the room and sank into the soft cushions. Instead of sitting down next to her, Jack pulled up a chair close enough so that their knees were almost touching. He leaned forward, resting his head in his hands, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "Rose," he began softly, "when were you going to give me a chance to explain, to let me tell my side of the story? When?"

His eyes, usually so calm and blue, like a gentle pond, were now steely gray and stormy. Looking into them made her feel uncomfortable. So instead, she looked down at the rug, knowing that she had put off listening to him. Feeling that when he did explain, it wasn’t going to be the truth anyway. "It was the note, Jack. I had no idea that you hadn’t read it." There was nothing she could say to excuse herself for jumping to conclusions. "I guess I thought about letting you explain soon. I’m sorry." Jack stood up suddenly, the chair underneath him falling on its side.

"Soon? You guess?" he asked angrily. "When was soon? All right, I admit I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life. I got involved in a way that I shouldn’t have. Making things seem like it was something else. But dammit, Rose, you hurt me. By your silence you practically accused me of adultery. I thought we trusted each other. We’ve lost that now." He turned away and bowed his head, shaking it sadly.

Rose lifted her head and watched Jack, standing dejectedly before her. The ray of hope she had seen a few seconds ago when he laughed was gone. Somehow she thought this would be easier. That they would both say they were sorry and then everything would be forgotten. Her own selfish, stubborn pride had closed in around her, knowing that she had hurt Jack. Now it was apparent how deep that hurt was. She continued to stare at him, feeling an oppressive heaviness centered in her chest. Her lips were turning raw as she chewed them in nervousness. A torrent of tears started flowing down her face. Her words were muffled and soft. "Jack, please. Please forgive me. I…I was so angry, that I wanted to hurt you. Please Jack. Tell me how to make it up to you." She cried aloud, but Jack remained where he was, seemingly unmoved by her sobs. "Please, Jack, please," she begged. "I don’t want anything to happen to us. I made a mistake too."

"Rose, if you would have heard me out that night, we could have avoided all of this. If you’d only listened. I know you might have been skeptical; maybe I would have too, under the circumstances. But you never even gave me a chance." The last words were muffled as Jack’s head leaned further forward. Slowly she stood, desperate now to save her marriage. She took a few faltering steps toward Jack. She touched his shoulder, trying with all her might to transmit her need for his forgiveness. The silence of the room was deafening, until there was just one sound. A low tortured moan, coming from Jack. With all the courage she could muster, she tried to turn him to face her. He moved stiffly, uncertainly. She was afraid to look at him, afraid that she would die inside, if he wouldn’t forgive her. Jack felt the heat of her touch and heard the emotion in her voice. She was pleading for forgiveness and he couldn’t find his voice to answer. Awkwardly he lifted his right hand and caressed her face. Through his blinding tears, he saw the fearful expression she wore. He had hurt her now with his words. Why couldn’t he have just accepted her apology? Now both of them were wounded. This was not what he had intended. His own ego had crippled him from forgiving her.

Without any more thought, Jack took her head in both of his hands, pulling her tightly against him. She whimpered slightly in pain and he loosened his hold on her. "Rose, I don’t want to hurt you now. And I don’t want anything to happen to us either. God, I love you Rose. Do you believe me?"

She felt the pressure of his hands against her cheeks, but it didn’t matter now. Jack was gazing into her eyes with a look of hope and tenderness. This awful chapter in their lives had to end, now. And if she had to apologize one more time she would. "Jack," she whispered, "I was wrong not to trust you. I was wrong to not listen. I’m sorry I didn’t listen." Rose leaned her head against his chest, feeling some comfort in the steady rhythm of his breathing. It was overpowering to be this close to him again, after her lonely nights of this past week.

Jack rested his cheek against the silky softness of her hair. Just being near Rose at night or any time of day was like a sedative. She carried with her the scent of roses and springtime, an intoxicating combination that always gave his hormones a rush of excitement. Missing her warmth as she snuggled her body next to him created a loneliness he had never before experienced. He wanted her back. Now even as her tears soaked his shirt, he tried to find the words to express his own failure to communicate. He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling, determined that no more barbs of antagonism would be thrown around the room. Jack moved his head down along the side of her face and when he found her ear he stopped. "Rose, I…I acted like a fool. I should have shared everything with you. Instead, I got carried away on some wild dream of recapturing the old days in some garret. It was a selfish thing, some crazy whim of my imagination. And I don’t even like the woman. That’s what makes it so crazy." Jack held her back a few inches and looked deeply into her eyes. They glistened with tears, but their emerald color now shimmered with understanding and warmth. "This was a big mistake, Rose. And I did lie to you about where I was. I guess we both paid. I am sorry." Jack could think of no other way now to make amends. He studied her face and when her lips parted, he pressed his mouth to hers, sending both of them spiraling into a world that was only theirs.

Rose was aware only of the firm touch of Jack’s gentle hands on her back and the pressure of his kiss. She clung to him, drowning now in the passion they had always shared. Not understanding why things had gone so wrong between them. The only thing that mattered now was their love and their marriage. Somehow she knew they could rebuild the trust they’d once had. The feelings they shared for one another ran so deep that it would take much more than a mistake in communicating to destroy their relationship. They might have come close this time, but just the right words from Jack and his magical touch had already started them on the road to recover what they had lost.

"Rose?"

She felt his warm breath on her neck as he spoke.

"Over here. Come on." He tenderly reached for her wrist and pulled her gently toward the bed. As they moved along, she saw him start to unloosen his tie and unbutton his shirt with one hand.

She smiled to herself, knowing that this was Jack’s way of solving problems. When words failed, his actions spoke for him. He would love her openly and adoringly. And she knew she never failed to respond. Already her legs felt like jelly, as she was barely able to walk behind him to the bed. Tonight, though, she felt a shyness she had not known before. It might have been because they had been apart for a week. Or maybe because it was like starting over at the beginning. Certainly their lovemaking would restore their inner happiness. At least she hoped it would.

"Jack?" She whispered his name in the semi darkness. "I’m nervous."

He turned to look at her. His brows came together in a puzzled expression. "Nervous? Why?"

"I just want it to be so perfect tonight. So we can heal ourselves and forget everything."

"Oh, Rose." He drew her close to him, sliding his hand to her waist. "It will. With you and I, it always is." Jack smiled shyly, reminding her of when she had first met him. His mouth turned up slightly and his face suddenly relaxed into a lazy, languorous look. "I told you we would try and work things out. We did the trying part. Now comes the work."

With those words, she caught a glimpse of her easy going, lovable Jack. The man who took everything in stride, a man filled with optimism and humor. He was coming back to her. And she would do her part and meet him halfway.

A siren wailed in the distance and from somewhere came the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Jack blinked his eyes in the darkness, forgetting for a moment where he was. The sheet twisted around his legs, making it difficult to move. He was trying to turn over and couldn’t. There was no room next to him. Then he heard the soft, relaxed moaning next to him. He was with Rose, in a hotel. She was in a deep slumber. He knew that. She always made those soft-purring sounds when she was sleeping soundly.

He hated to tug on the sheet knowing that it would awaken Rose. Instead he lay quietly in bed, resting his left hand behind him on the pillow. This past week had been so stressful, so frightening. Even though they had reconciled their differences, he knew they would never forget what happened. Should never forget what happened. Jack realized now, of course, just how Daphne’s note must have looked to Rose. There was no doubt in his mind that had the same thing happened to him, and he had been the one to find a note, most likely he would have jumped to the same conclusion. After they had gotten into bed they had talked for hours. Reminiscing about the tough times they had been through, counting the accomplishments of their children, and discussing Edy and her husband to be. Then they had spent even more time, just touching and holding each other. And with each caress and kiss, they came closer and closer together until it time to reunite as a couple. Only then were all the hurtful words forgotten and the open wounds magically healed by the power of their love.

He felt a shifting of the mattress and turned his head to where Rose lay. Jack watched her eyelids flutter open and he smiled down on her, seeing her shimmering eyes even in the dark.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Oh, Jack. I can’t sleep anymore." She reached out and traced his eyebrows and cheekbones with her fingers. There was a sense of peacefulness now between them, a placid calmness that signaled the end of their storm. "I’m too excited, I guess."

He chuckled in that deep rich tone that she loved to hear. "What? This night was too much for you?" He could tell she was blushing, though he could not see the color of her face in the shadows. Carefully he put his arm around her and pulled her tightly against him. "I missed this, you know." Jack felt her head nod up and down, knowing that she too had spent some very lonely nights. "Rose, I know we are all done apologizing. I just want to say it one more time. I’m sorry this happened. But if it brought us closer, made us stronger, then maybe it was for a reason."

She was silent, thinking about Jack’s words. There was something she’d had on her mind for some time now. Perhaps this was the moment to tell him. "Jack?" Rose waited, trying to think of the best way to word what she wanted to say.

"Hmm. What?" Jack was coiling his fingers through her hair, just relishing every second they were together.

"Jack, I, well, I have a confession to make."

He stopped breathing, fearful for an instant that more trouble was to come. Jack raised himself up on his elbow and studied her face. Clearly she was struggling to say something. "Okay, I’m listening."

Rose looked Jack in the eye and bravely continued. "Jack, ah, the last time I went to visit Molly in Chicago, there was a man on the train." She glanced up and saw the frown on his face. "He asked me to eat with him and we had a nice meal. I didn’t think anything of it when he paid. Then he wanted to buy me some wine in the club car."

Jack was listening carefully, waiting to hear just what had happened.

"I told him no. That I would come and chat, but didn’t want anything to drink." Rose took a deep breath. She was a little embarrassed about what happened next. "Jack, he, well, he propositioned me right there in the diner. I was so shocked. I couldn’t think of what to say."

"I sure as hell hope you told him something." Jack spoke possessively, hopeful that Rose had not agreed. Knowing in his heart what she had told the stranger, just not prepared for the answer she gave.

"Oh, I did." She giggled, knowing that Jack would find her response amusing. "I told him I was a missionary home on leave. That seemed to have no effect on him. He just shrugged his shoulders. Then I told him I was a missionary in a leper colony. Oh, Jack. It was so funny. His face turned white and he knocked into several people as he ran from the car."

Rose smiled mischievously at Jack. He was trying hard to contain himself. Finally he could hold back no longer. Jack leaned his head back and laughed until tears ran down his face. When he finally recovered, he took both her hands in his and kissed them. "Rose, you really are priceless. Do you know that? I would have loved to have seen the look on that guy’s face." He shook his head from side to side and beamed in delight at her funny story. "Just don’t try and use that as an excuse with me."

"Oh, I won’t," she assured him solemnly. "Jack, what time is it? Maybe we should get up."

He reached over and looked at his watch. It was 6:30. "Not yet. Plenty of time yet." Jack moved his fingers down the side of her shoulder, watching as she shivered with pleasure. "We still have the whole morning ahead of us." He gave her an expectant look, knowing she would understand the hidden meaning of his words.

"Oh, good. We don’t want to waste any more time, do we?" She gazed at him with a wanton look in her eye. Anticipating several more hours of lovemaking with Jack would almost make this whole sad thing seem worthwhile. At least they knew how to make up to each other.

Jack tapped the tip of her nose and smiled devilishly at her. He couldn’t resist one more comment before they continued where they left off. "I thought you were so concerned about staying here without clothes?"

She blinked in mock exasperation. He looked so enticingly handsome, so boyishly appealing with his blond hair mussed and out of place and his eyes once more relaxed and happy. And he always had to have the last word. This time was no different. She had no answer to his question. Rose leaned over him and pushed his shoulders back on the pillow. "Jack Dawson, you drive me mad sometimes. Do you know that?"

He did, but when Rose brought her face close to his and threaded her fingers in his hair, he was at her mercy. She buried her head in the hollow of his neck and let her body mold itself against his. Her calm soft breaths gave way to fast ragged breathing. Rose let him gather her tightly in his arms. She sighed deeply, aware of the ecstasy that was to come. "Oh, Jack…I’m sorry, I really am. But this has been such a wonderful evening. Maybe we should do it more often." She sighed, thinking that they had not had such an evening in years.

Jack raised himself up on his shoulder and studied Rose who lay beneath him, her red hair spread out like a flame against the pillow. She was right, they should do this more often. Not have a fight, but escape from the hassles of their daily life. Maybe they should have been doing it more often. Perhaps the stresses of the last few years had caught up with them and destroyed the spontaneity they had once known. Rose watched as Jack arched his eyebrow and stared down at her.

"Just what’s on your mind now?" He seemed pleased with himself, as though he had just had a thought provoking idea. "Come on, tell me. You’ve got me all intrigued."

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we should take a trip. Maybe next summer we should go away, just the two of us. And not visit anyone we know. No children, no old friends. Just go someplace we’ve never been, or even someplace that we both love." He saw her eyes light up with anticipation at his idea. "Sort of like a second honeymoon. What do you say? Do you trust me to make some plans?"

She gave him her most brilliant smile. "I trust you, Jack. I do." There was a moment’s hesitation, then she finished. "I always have trusted you. My heart has always trusted you, Jack. I love you." He beamed with delight from the enthusiasm of her answer. Rather than a responsible high school teacher, he looked to her at this moment like a mischievous little boy.

Jack slipped his arm underneath her and pushed the sheet away from them. As if nothing at all had transpired between them in the last week, he sighed heavily. There was a look of satisfaction on his face that she had not seen in weeks. He gazed into her emerald eyes, speaking wordlessly the depths of his emotions. After a pause, she heard his voice, her skin tingling at what he said.

"Now, Rose…where did we leave off?"

She could give him no answer, her lips were already captured by his and all the energy she had left was saved for one thing only. To share herself with Jack, forever.

Chapter Thirty
Stories