AFTER STARTING ANEW
Chapter Three
January 18, 1919
7 A.M.
Jack leaned back against the bench of the
section he occupied on the train. His legs hurt from a night in the cramped
berth. Somehow before, when he’d slept on a train with Rose, the confining
space had never bothered him. But the last two nights had been awful. He had
been alone with his thoughts. Thoughts of the horrors of the last few months.
He sat now, staring into space, unaware of
what was around him. The car attendant could see that he was still shaky on his
feet and had been kind enough to help him get ready. He was supposed to have
traveled in the hospital car that was attached to the train, but they had so
many more soldiers with severe injuries that the army had sent him home in this
regular sleeper.
His thoughts were torn as the train raced
closer to Denver. He wanted nothing more than to be with his family, to hold
them close. But one question weighed heavily on his mind. How was he going to
face Rose? Their parting last fall had been awful. He had said some bitter
words to her and she had spit back some things that were just as dreadful. But
she did not know the terrible remorse he felt as soon as she left that autumn
day. He had not been able find it in himself to write and apologize in a
letter. He needed to touch her and kiss her. That is if she would let him. And
so these last several months, there had been no communication between them.
Just what he had written to the children and the short sentences that they had
dictated to her for him. She had not added anything of her own.
The whole experience of being at war had been
horrible. Being away from his family had been bad enough. But seeing the wounds
of the other men, had terrified him. Then he found out a few days before his
own injury had occurred, that he didn’t even need to be in France. He had been
talking to some of the other soldiers whose friends had been exempted because
they had large families with young children. When he had gone to report for the
draft, he’d mentioned that he had a family and that this was going to be very
hard on his wife without the financial support of his regular job. But they had
not been the most compassionate group of men and told him that she would get by
like so many others. Despite his request that he did indeed have a legitimate
hardship, they had refused to grant the exemption that was well within their
ability. That fact more than anything else had made him depressed and bitter.
This whole thing shouldn’t even have happened.
He had first gone to Fort Sheridan, north of
Chicago, where he had undergone the usual basic training. From there he had
written long letters to Rose and had made a drawing for each of the children
every time he wrote. Then it had been off to England by boat, which had
incurred more than a few unpleasant memories. By the time he reached France, he
learned that Rose was pregnant and was expecting in July. He never learned did
he? To place her in that kind of situation without him, with three other
children besides was almost unconscionable. But it was too late now.
He had been in camp in Ypres when he had been
injured. The day of the gas attack had started like any other. He had been
sitting in his tent making some illustrations that he planned to send off that
very evening. When suddenly, he heard yelling and shouting. It seemed that he
himself was being dragged into a deep abyss. When he had come to, he thought
that he was having a nightmare. His legs would not move, his arms just a little
and worst of all, he could not see.
Once the initial terror had worn off, he’d
had hours and days to think about his life. He knew that deep inside, that he
should force himself to be grateful that he was alive. But he had been too
filled with anger. So he just cut to ribbons anyone who came close to him and
tried to make suggestions as to how he live. Of course, the one who had
suffered the worst of his attacks had been Rose.
But here he was on the train, almost home. He
was determined to make things up to her. And she was right. He had four
children and they deserved his presence. As did she.
Before he knew it, the train had started to
slow and it came to a creaking halt. The kindly porter came by and handed Jack
his suitcase and helped him off the train. Now to find Rose. He had a pretty
good idea that she would be looking for him at the hospital car. There had to
be a way to get her attention.
He stood on the crowded platform as people
pushed and shoved around him. Then an idea came to his head. He put two of his
fingers in his mouth and gave a loud whistle.