April 25, 1912
Rose shivered in the cold. She sat on the park bench, staring up at the stars that painted the sky. The black midnight sky gave the atmosphere a sense of coldness and terror, but the beautiful spots in the sky twinkled and danced, keeping away all of the bad. It was almost heartbreaking. Rose's grass-green eyes flashed as a shooting star hurtled through the sky. Her mouth formed an o, and silent tears spilled down her porcelain cheeks. "Take care of that soul, Jack," she whispered before immediately drifting into a memory…
"Look! A shooting star!" Rose pointed excitedly, and her eyes lit up with clear delight. Jack grinned. Rose was so different than the rest of the first class people. He told her she had been mailed to the wrong address, and Rose had agreed.
"That was a long one…my father used to say that whenever you saw one, it was a soul going to heaven," Jack replied.
Rose pursed her lips in deep thought. Finally, she nodded. "I like that. Aren't we supposed to wish on it?" Rose asked, remembering the old childhood tales of wishing upon stars.
Jack looked at her carefully, and he was almost startled to see that they were only inches apart. It would be so easy to just kiss her right then and there. The thought ran through his mind over and over again, and one look at Rose's face told Jack that she was thinking the same thing.
"What would you wish for?" Jack's voice lowered, and he looked at Rose pointedly.
She stared back at him, and she pulled back. "Something I can't have…"
Rose hated being called a porcelain doll, because she wasn't. She could prove to the world she wasn't as delicate and fragile as everyone else made her out to be. But at this moment, she felt like a porcelain doll; she felt so vulnerable without Jack. She was all alone, and she felt like she had been dropped on the ground and shattered into a million pieces. Without Jack, she wasn't Rose Dawson. She was just Rose. Even though she had taken Jack's surname as her own after the tragedy of the Titanic, it didn't make a difference. All it did was keep her away from her original first class life and society and help her make it count.
Another tear slid down on Rose's face, and she wiped it away. Guilt pulsed through her. She loved Jack's last name. She also tried so hard to believe that it made her feel closer to her lost love. She wanted to believe that it protected her and made her feel secure. Rose buried her face in her hands and let her tears fall. It had only been ten days since the tragedy, so Rose let out her wails of grief. She hadn't cried in those ten days. She needed to cry.
Rose shivered as the breeze quickened, and she brought her knees up to her chest, rocking herself back and forth. Jack was gone. She had nothing left of him. Nothing at all. In a matter of ten days, Rose had managed to get herself a job as a seamstress nearby and resided in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin.
Rose sniffled. Nothing was the same without Jack, but she needed to stay strong for him and never let go. She needed to go on with her life. Rose found it terribly hard, and she immediately stiffened when she smelled the familiar scent of Jack lingering around her. That was impossible, though. Wasn't it?
Rose whipped her head around, red curls flying around her. Her green eyes widened, expecting to see Jack nearby, his hands stuffed in his pockets, smiling lazily at her. "Jack?!" Rose asked, eyes alight and filled with hope. Nothing. Rose's heart sank. You're imagining things, Rose scolded herself, shaking her head. "Jack is dead, Rose. You've got to start getting used to that," Rose whispered to herself, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.
She hated to admit that Jack was dead. He couldn't be, yet she saw with her own eyes his body sink into the cold waters. Rose closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. Get a hold of yourself, Rose, she thought.
Rose hurriedly got off the bench and smoothed out her dress. She wrapped her shawl tighter around her body as the wind picked up. She was walking back to her apartment, and finally made it home. She went into the bathroom to regain her composure.
She looked in the mirror. Her face was completely disastrous. Makeup ran down her cheeks, and there were bags under her bloodshot eyes. She tried to smile, but it just looked sad. Her hair was completely out of control; it resembled something of a bird's nest. Rose closed her eyes and breathed out shakily.
She could picture herself standing there, and then Jack would walk in to see her. He'd plant sweet little kisses on her face and ask her what was wrong. Rose would kiss him until she simply couldn't anymore, and then he'd take her to the stars.
Rose finally opened her eyes, and she cleaned up her face. Might as well stop wishing for the future she wouldn't have. Rose sighed.
It was almost frightening, but during this time, nighttime, Rose could feel Jack's presence more strongly. And when she thought of the Titanic and those five days, she'd feel him. Rose was eagerly waiting for May tenth through May fifteenth to see if she would feel anything stronger. To see if Jack would come back. If not, maybe his presence would just be there.
Rose sighed and put her face in her hands. It was growing too complicated…she couldn't take it anymore.
*****
"I'm tired of waiting here like this. I want to help her!" The voice was growing more irritated and sad by the minute. His blue eyes looked at Rose helplessly, and he wished he could reach out and comfort her. She looked so sad.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I really am sorry, but you can't," the other voice came. Jack sighed and looked down at the young girl. She was no older than ten, and her gray eyes pierced Jack's.
"Listen, Death. I really love this woman. I want to comfort her. I need to," Jack replied, looking at her helplessly.
They were standing in Rose's apartment, watching Rose cry in the bathroom. Jack's heart broke in two. He could feel Rose's pain. It hurt him so much. He didn't want to see her like this or even feel like this. Jack wiped his eyes as a stray tear escaped.
"How many times do I have to say that I'm not Death? I'm just a Watcher. I keep track of everyone's fates!" The girl's face was angry, and Jack sighed. Rose couldn't see or hear either of them, but when Jack watched Rose from where he was, he almost thought Rose could sense he was around. That was how close and connected they were to one another.
"Sorry, Ruth," Jack apologized to the young girl, patting her on the head and ruffling her black hair. Ruth smiled at him and handed him a tissue.
"It's all right, Jack." Ruth was Jack's partner. She was to watch over him because he was a new angel, and usually, new angels were at the stage of grief. They had people they had left behind on earth. It was Ruth's job to help them move forward, but most of the time, the angels could bribe her, and she would give in because she felt bad and was only a child. Ruth had been dead for over three centuries, and she was rather experienced at her job. Of all the new angels that Ruth followed around, Jack was, by far, her favorite.
"Are you sure there isn't anything else you can do?" Jack asked, wanting to be there for Rose.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I've already told you. I cannot do anything else." Suddenly, Rose collapsed onto the ground in tears, curling into a fetal position. Jack felt the familiar pain in his heart, and he, too, fell onto the ground, clutching his heart. He let out a cry, and Ruth looked at him, eyes wide in alarm.
"Make it stop…" Jack managed to choke out. Ruth's eyes went from Rose to Jack. Then her eyes lit up in understanding. She bent down to the ground and put a hand on Jack's shoulder.
"I know what's causing this." Her voice was a soft murmur, and tears spilled down Jack's cheeks. "You and Rose have such a special bond that you can feel her emotions…"
"Please! It just makes me feel guiltier for leaving her!" Jack cried, and Ruth sighed.
"I think there is something else I can do for you…" Ruth replied, standing up. Jack looked up and wiped away the tears on his face.
"What?" Jack asked, trying to stand up. He shot a pained look at Rose.
Ruth smiled sadly. "Remember, you cannot change anything that happens," Ruth replied.
Jack looked at her. "What do you mean?" he asked, and Ruth smiled sadly.
"I mean, since your love is so powerful, there is something else that I can do for you." Jack's eyes lit up, but Ruth raised a hand to stop him. "Don't get too excited, Pretty Boy. There are some other consequences for this," she replied.
"I'm listening," Jack finally replied. His blue eyes twinkled, and Ruth smiled at him. He really loved this woman.
"Well, as you know, you've already bothered me, Death, and the other angels so much since your death, and you have always complained about how you can't see Rose from heaven, so we made you a deal. Do you remember the deal?"
Jack nodded, smiling. "Yeah. It was that I am almost at the in-between life."
"Bingo. The meaning?" Ruth smiled at him. Jack was intelligent and funny and kind, but after awhile, everyone got tired of him talking about how he wanted Rose.
"I'm still on earth, but I cannot interact directly with mortals. They cannot see or hear me."
"Yeah. So, this deal I'm giving you now is that you can go back to Rose as an angel. You will be able to tell her you love her and will be waiting for her. You'll try to help her live on."
"Really?" Jack's voice was excited, but Ruth stopped him.
"This deal starts as soon as possible, but it ends when Rose finally lets go. When she finally falls in love with someone else. Then you'll return to the in between to watch over her." Ruth smiled.
Jack thought it over. It would be hard to see Rose in someone else's arms, but Jack wanted to be there for Rose.
"I would be her guardian angel?" Jack reasoned, and Ruth nodded.
"You already are, Jack… she's lucky to have you as one. By your will, Rose will be able or not be able to see you," Ruth replied, and Jack smiled. He loved Rose with all his heart. He was finally going to be able to spend more time with her. To feel her with him. To hold her in his arms. To comfort her when she cried. To be her lover.
"What do you say, Jack?" Ruth asked. She twiddled her small fingers around, and Jack finally nodded.
"All right," he agreed. His heart was beating wildly, and Ruth smiled at him.
"Great!" she replied, jumping up and down, making her black curls bob around her. Jack smiled.
"When does this deal start?" he asked, and Ruth's smile grew bigger. She snapped her fingers.
"Now."