AFTER TITANIC
Chapter Forty-One
Ten days later, Jack and Rose returned to
Santa Monica, both in high spirits. The visit to Boston had been wonderful.
Jack had learned the ropes of the family business rather easily and Rose had
made some great friends with Jack's other relatives. The trip was a success.
"Here we are. We're home." Jack
smiled, placing the key in the lock. "Wonder if everyone was waiting for
us?"
"Well, Mother's probably still angry at
me. She hasn't really spoken to me since that argument." Rose sighed.
"Molly will probably miss us. I still can't believe how empty the place
feels without Eliza and Maxwell. I can't believe they found a house that
quick."
"Well, they probably want to get their
family started, and the beach house was already cramped with the twins."
Jack shrugged.
Rose just smiled lovingly at her husband as
she entered the house with the sleeping twins.
"Rose, you're home." Molly appeared
in the foyer. "I wasn't expecting you two back until noon."
"We caught an earlier train." Rose
smiled, hugging Molly. "Is Mother still here?"
"Oh, yes, but she's still asleep. She
was up late last night, complaining about heartburn." Molly nodded towards
the stairs.
"Heartburn? She never has
heartburn." Rose's brow wrinkled in confusion.
"That's what she said it was, darling. I
didn't argue with her."
"Well, I'll go check on her. We have a
lot to talk about. I'll put the twins down while I'm at it." Rose smiled.
"We'll be down here if you need
us." Molly watched Rose disappear up the stairs. "Well, Jack. Tell me
about Boston. What all did you inherit?"
*****
Rose shivered as she put the children to bed.
She didn't like the dead silence that enveloped the second floor. Sighing
deeply, nervous about the coming confrontation with her mother...Rose entered
her room.
Ruth's eyes were closed, her face totally
relaxed. She must have really stayed up to be sleeping so deeply. Taking a deep
breath, Rose approached the bed. She wanted to get everything ironed out before
Ruth and Molly headed back to Wisconsin. Maybe Rose would offer to take Ruth to
Philadelphia next month when she got some time off, to visit Aunt Pearl.
"Mother?" Rose asked tentatively,
shaking her mother. But Ruth didn't respond. She remained silent and unmoving.
Rose shook her harder and called Ruth a little louder. "Mother!"
No response. Dread building up in her, Rose
bent down and felt for a pulse. There was none. She leaned her head down on her
mother's chest and found no heartbeat. That's when she noticed how pale Ruth
was.
"Jack! Molly!" Rose ran to the top
of the stairs and called, her voice at the edge of hysteria. "Come
quick!"
"Rose, darling, what is it?" Molly
rushed up the stairs with Jack behind her. It was his arms that Rose rushed
into.
"Oh, Jack, it's Mother! She won't wake
up, and she's so cold and pale, and she doesn't have a heartbeat!" Rose
cried, clinging to her husband for dear life and burying her face in his chest.
"Let me check." Molly entered
Ruth's room, leaving Jack and Rose alone.
"It's okay, Rose. I'm sure everything's
going to be all right. I'm sure it will." Jack held her tightly, stroking
her hair. Even though he said the words, dread still rose up in his heart. If
Ruth didn't wake up...it'd destroy Rose.
"Jack...go get Maxwell." Molly
entered the room. "Hurry. I'll take care of Rose."
Jack nodded and gripped Rose’s shoulders,
forcing her to look into his eyes. "I'll be right back, Rose. I
promise."
Rose nodded, the light quickly fading out of
her eyes.
"Go on, Jack." Molly pulled Rose
into her arms. "She'll be all right until you get back."
Jack nodded and left. Twenty minutes later,
he returned with Maxwell and Eliza. Eliza immediately went to her friend's side
and held her hand, while Maxwell examined Ruth. Rose knew the news was grim
when he came out ten minutes later, a solemn expression on his face.
"Maxwell?" Rose left Eliza's side.
"How's my mother? She'll be all right, won't she?"
"Rose...your mother...she's dead. She must
have died sometime last night, judging from how cold she is. Did she have any
health problems?"
"She was complaining of heartburn last
night," Molly interjected.
Maxwell nodded in understanding. "Sounds
like she had a massive heart attack."
"A heart attack? But she never had any
heart problems." Rose gasped.
"Uh…Rose, darling...she was taking heart
medicine. I noticed her taking it when she moved in with me. I thought she was
still taking it." Molly placed a comforting hand on Rose's shoulder.
"But wasn't she still taking it?"
Jack asked.
"Sometimes the medicine loses its
potency. If there's no doctor to keep an eye out for such things...the medicine
won't do any good," Maxwell explained. "Mrs. Brown...has Mrs. DeWitt
Bukater been going to the doctor?"
Molly bowed her head and shook it.
"She’s never been to a doctor since I've known her."
"Oh, Mother." Rose choked on the
sobs she couldn't keep back any longer. Jack immediately went to his wife and
took her in his arms.
"Shh, Rose. Don't cry," Jack
soothed her, trying to calm her. "She wouldn't want you to cry."
"I'm terribly sorry, Rose." Maxwell
lay a comforting on Rose's shoulder. "Let me call the morgue so they can
come get her." Jack nodded his agreement.
"I'll come with you." Molly and
Eliza followed Maxwell down the stairs.
"Let's go in our room, Rose. You need to
rest." Jack led her into their room and to their bed.
"It's my fault, Jack. If I wasn't so
insistent...if I had just done what she wanted...she wouldn't be dead
now," Rose cried. "She was right, Jack. I am selfish. I never think
of anyone's needs except for my own."
"Now, Rose, that's not true. You're not
selfish at all. If you were, you'd have never came back for me on Titanic when
the ship was sinking...you'd never have jumped off that lifeboat to be with me
if you were selfish." Jack held her even tighter. "You're the most
unselfish person I know, and I love you very much."
"But, Jack, don't you see I was
selfish...I was always looking out for myself. The one time my mother had asked
anything from me since our reconciliation, and I refused. I only thought about
my need to meet your family, and not her need to see her sister, when it would
be the last time she would do so." Rose sobbed. "I should have seen
it, Jack. I should have seen that it was her last chance to see her
sister."
"Oh, Rose. Don't do that to yourself.
There's no way you could've known that this would happen. As far as you knew,
your mother was as healthy as a horse." Jack stroked Rose's hair.
Rose cried even harder and scooted closer to
Jack. Jack was so kind and selfless...she didn't deserve to have his love...he
deserved someone a lot more caring...as caring as he was. "I don't deserve
you, Jack. You're so kind, and I'm so selfish."
"Rose...you're not selfish. And you do
deserve my love, and more than that…you deserve to be completely happy, not
miserable...not this." Jack pulled away and looked into her eyes.
"You listen to me, Rose Dawson, and I want you to repeat after me…you are
the most loving, caring person in the world, and you deserve the best life has
to offer. The death of your mother was not your fault. You had no way of
knowing that she was ill."
Rose looked into his gaze, which was
unwavering. It was the same gaze he had held her in that night when they were
in the cold water and he had made her promise to go on with her life...no
matter what. Sighing deeply, without any conviction, she repeated the words
Jack had said.
"That's my girl." Jack pulled her
back into the hug, not noticing how the light had never returned to her eyes as
she forced a smile. Rose no longer felt as alive as she had that morning before
they returned to Santa Monica. She felt as dead as her mother now was, and she
had no idea how to get that spark of life back.
*****
Rose had fallen asleep, leaving Jack time to
go downstairs and fix something for lunch, but Molly had beaten him to it.
"How is she, Jack?" Molly asked,
noticing Jack in the kitchen doorway.
"Not good, Molly. She's blaming herself
for this, and nothing I say or do is making a difference to her." Jack
sighed and collapsed into a chair. "What am I going to do if I can't pull
her out of this depression?"
Molly came over and lay a comforting hand on
his shoulder. "Give it time, Jack. Just be there for her and give her time
to get over the grief. Rose is a strong girl. She's going to pull through this
just fine...with your love and support."
"I hope so, Molly. I hope so," Jack
replied, as the twins began to cry. "I better go get them before Rose
wakes up." Jack got up and headed for the stairs.
Molly stared after him, worry in her eyes.
Jack was a strong boy sure enough...and she meant what she said about Rose. She
was strong, too, but was she really strong enough to pull through this? Was
Jack's love enough to help her? Molly sighed and went back to fixing the
casserole.
Five Days Later
It was a cold, dreary day in Philadelphia
when they buried Ruth DeWitt Bukater right next to her late husband. Of course,
the whole Dawson family showed up to show their respects and so were some of
the survivors from Titanic and other people who had known Ruth, including the
Hockleys. Of course, Cal didn't dare approach Rose. Neither did his father.
They were both ashamed of how they had treated Ruth after the sinking.
Jack had a supporting arm around Rose's
shoulder as she watched the priest perform last rites.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The
priest sprinkled dust onto the closed coffin. "May she rest in
peace."
"No!" Rose screamed. "It's
dark down there, and she hates the dark! You can't do this to her!" She
ran to the gravedigger and grabbed his arm just as he was about to shovel more
dirt into the hole.
"I can't believe the scene she is
making," she heard her cousin Marjorie giggle to her Aunt Pearl, but Rose
didn't care. She had to stop them from doing this to her mother.
"Rose, stop it. Come back." Jack
gently pulled her away and held her in a tight embrace. "It's okay, Rose.
She's not even in there. She's with your father. That's just an empty shell
they're burying down there."
"Jack, please make them stop." Rose
sobbed, clinging to her husband.
Jack just held her as the gravedigger
finished his job, unshaken by Rose's hysterical outburst. The man was used to
scenes like this...he dealt with them every day.
"Please, sir, keep your wife under
control," the digger hissed to Jack.
"I don't control her, sir. Plus, her
reaction is understandable, since this is her mother," Jack growled back.
The man just shook his head and continued
with his job.
"Jack, why don't you just take Rose on
back to the hotel? I'll take care of things here," Molly suggested.
"That's a great idea, Molly. Thank
you." Jack smiled before leading Rose out of the cemetery.
*****
That night, Rose tossed and turned in the
throes of a nightmare.
She was running through a foggy forest,
trying to find her mother, who was calling her name. Finally, she found her on
a shipping dock, ready to board the broken ruin of Titanic.
"Mother, wait!" Rose cried,
trying to reach Ruth before she could board the ship. "Don't get on that
ship!"
"This is your fault, Rose!" Ruth
shouted. "This is all your fault for being so selfish!"
"No! Don't say that!" Rose cried.
"I love you!"
"All your fault, you selfish girl!
You don't deserve Jack and those babies. You don't deserve them at all!"
"Mother!"
"Good-bye, Rose!" Ruth turned
her back on her daughter, leaving her sobbing on the shipping deck as the
Titanic disappeared back into the sea.
*****
"Mother, no!" Rose screamed again
and again. "Mother, no!"
"Rose, darling, wake up." Jack
shook Rose's shoulder. Her cries has woken him up, and now he was trying to
comfort her as best he could. "Shh, Rose. Don't cry. Whatever it was, it's
just a dream."
"No, Jack." Rose sobbed. "It
was real. She was boarding Titanic as it probably looks right now. And she said
it was all my fault and I don't deserve you and the children. That I was too
selfish to deserve you three."
"Oh, Rose. Don't think that way. We're
lucky to have you. I thank God each day for you. You have to know that by
now." Jack pulled her into a hug.
"But I killed my mother, Jack. How can
you still love me after that?"
Jack pulled away and looked Rose squarely in
the eyes. "Now, you listen here, Rose. You did not kill your mother. She
died of a heart attack, plain and simple. Tons of people die of heart attacks
every day. It's a natural thing to die of. You had nothing to do with it."
"But all she wanted to do was visit her
sister and I wouldn't have any of it. Jack, her heart was set on it. If I had
gone ahead and gone with her, maybe this wouldn't have happened."
"Or maybe if she had kept up with her
check-ups at the doctor’s this wouldn't have happened. They would've found a
stronger medicine like Maxwell said. So, Rose, you have to stop blaming
yourself for what you had no control over. Do you understand me?"
Rose looked into Jack's eyes and nodded.
"That's my girl." Jack smiled,
pulling her back into his arms. He loved her so much, and he wasn't about to
let her go. "I love you, Rose. Don't ever doubt that."
"I know, Jack, and I love you twice as
much." Rose hung onto him. She didn't want to lose him, but she knew she
would...eventually he'd open his eyes and see her for the selfish person she
was, and would leave her and take their children with him. He wouldn't want her
anymore.
"Feel better?" Jack asked, staring
at her tearstained face.
"Much better," Rose lied, forcing a
smile. Jack just smiled back and wiped away a stray tear.
"Let's go back to sleep, Rose. We head
back to Santa Monica tomorrow."
"Okay, Jack." Rose slipped deeper
under the covers and slipped into a dreamless sleep.