AFTER TITANIC
Chapter Forty-Three
Dear Jack,
This is the first of many letters that I'm
writing to you during this separation. Plan on getting a letter every
day...well, at least as fast as the mail service can deliver it.
I'm now living in this quaint little
boarding house in Los Angeles and the landlady is real sweet but stern. She
wouldn't even rent to me until I showed her proof that I was married and there
would be no problems with her male guests. She then relented and let me sign
on. Oh, Jack, you would love it here. The room is medium-sized and cozy and the
living room, where all us occupants congregate from time to time, is quite
lovely. I can just see us in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket,
maybe sipping tea while the twins play together. Images like that, Jack, make
me miss you and the twins more and more. I don't know how I'm going to survive
this without you, but I have to. I can't lean on you every time something happens.
I need to prove to I can handle disasters like my mother's death by myself. You
do understand, don't you? I hope you don't hate me, Jack. I couldn't bear it if
you did, even though I wouldn't blame you in the slightest. This is the second
time I left you, and this time I left you with the burden of taking care of our
babies.
How are Tommy and Molly? Have they grown
much since I saw them last? Oh, Jack, saying good-bye to them broke my heart.
But again, I have to do this. I'm no use to you and the children as I am right
now. I still cry over what happened. I still blame myself. I know what you're
going to say. It wasn't my fault. But still, Jack...if only I had spent a
little bit of time with her...maybe it would have made a difference.
Well, I'll leave off here now, darling.
It's getting late, and lights out is fifteen minutes from now. Good night, my
love, and I'll write again soon. You may write me back at the address on the
envelope. I love you, Jack. That's why I'm doing this. Never forget that.
Love Forever,
Rose
Dear Rose,
Hello, darling. I was so pleased when I
received your letter. I'm glad that you're well and you've got a nice, warm
place to stay. That had me worried for days on end. I wish I could be there
with you and for you, but I'm going to respect your wishes and stay away and
let you deal with this by yourself. I know you can do it, Rose. I know from
experience that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Molly and Tommy are fine. Molly is staying
on board to help me with the twins and Kathy and Eliza are a big help, as well.
Little Molly is looking more and more like you every day. Her hair is beginning
to turn more red than blonde, while Tommy's is remaining blonde. They both have
your lovely smile. That smile is the only thing that keeps me going during your
absence.
I heard from Grandfather, and his
condition is worsening. We're afraid he won't last another month. But enough
about my problems, Rose. You don't need to hear about that. How are you? Are
you truly okay? You know you're welcome to come back anytime. My arms are
always waiting for you. Remember that. Kathy and the girls send their love and
support and hope that you'll be back home with us soon. I'll let you go here.
Take care and write again. Remember, my love is yours always.
Love,
Jack
Dearest Jack,
I was happy to hear from you. When I saw
your familiar handwriting on the envelope...I was filled with joy. Oh, darling,
I miss you so much. I can't sleep at night because I miss the warmth of your
body next to mine. I am tempted to move back home...but it's not yet time. I
still have to pull it together...something I'm having a hard time doing right
now. But enough about that, my love. I want to tell you about all the people
here. They're a mixture of people, really. You'd really enjoy it here.
There's the landlady, Mrs. Santos. She's
Mexican-American and speaks English really well and she lives by a strict moral
code. "No hanky panky in my house," she likes to say.
Then there's Mr. Bartholomew Cummins. He's
a gentleman from Boston and an acquaintance of the Boston Dawsons. He insisted
that we met before, but I didn't tell him that it was probably from the gala we
went to. He strikes me as a sexist by the way he talks. To let him tell it,
women belong in one place and one place only--in the kitchen, barefoot and
pregnant. Can you believe that, Jack? For a gentleman from Boston, he sure does
have some caveman ideas.
Then there's Tyler. He reminds me of you,
Jack. He's tall and lanky, has blond hair and blue eyes and a smile that lights
up a room. I do believe he's developed a crush on me, but I gently told him
that I was already taken. But he's bound to break some girl's heart someday.
Last but not least is Stacy. She's a widow
and raising her little girl by herself. She's my age and we've become great
friends. She talks about the time she'd spent with her husband, and I, of
course, talk of you and the children. She can't understand why I left you,
since you sound so wonderful, but I told her that there was something I needed
to do alone for a while and she let the subject drop.
I'm in the midst of searching for a job.
I've just applied to this small cafe in the business district as a waitress.
The owner said they'd get back to me. Is that a good sign, Jack? I sure hope
so. Mother would cringe at the thought of me as a waitress. She'd ask me wasn't
being a maid enough for me?
Oh, Jack, there I go again. No matter what
I do during the day, a thought of Mother always creeps in. Will I ever heal
from this, Jack? Will there ever be a time that when I think of my mother that
it won't hurt? I leave off here, my love. I'll write again soon.
Love,
Rose
Dear Rose,
I'm so glad to have heard from you again.
The people in your building do sound like characters. Just ignore that
Bartholomew fellow. He doesn't get that this is the twentieth century now and
that women no longer go barefoot in the kitchen. Ha ha. But anyway, I'm glad
you made some friends and won't be totally alone in LA. Good luck on that job,
Rose. That is a good sign that they'd get back to you. Just don't get too
comfortable there, Rose. Be prepared to come back home soon. We need and love
you.
I'm sorry to make this letter short, but
Tommy is calling for me again. It sounds like he's having another one of those
nightmares.
Good night, my love.
Jack
Dear Jack,
There's been a terrible tragedy here. A
Renault car hit Stacy today and killed her instantly. Poor Stacy and poor
Lindsey...her five-year-old daughter. Oh, Jack, the little girl is so small and
so cute with her brown pigtails and hazel eyes. She doesn't even know what
happened. All she knows is that Mommy went to sleep and won't be waking up
again anytime soon.
Oh, Jack, why do these things happen? It's
so unfair. Well, I'll leave off here, Jack. Write back as soon as possible.
Love,
Rose
Dear Jack,
You won't believe what just happened.
Today was the reading of Stacy's will and she had named me legal guardian of
Lindsey. Can you believe that? She hardly knew me for a month, but she trusted
me with her daughter. I had always thought that she'd name a member of her
family legal guardian, but she never got along with them.
Oh, Jack, what am I going to do? I can't
be a mother to that little girl...especially when I can't be a mother to my
own. I guess this is it. I'm going to have to force myself to get over my grief
over my mother's death. I no longer have only two children depending on me. I
now have three. I'll try to be home by the end of next month, my love...with
Lindsey. I'll see you then.
Love,
Rose
Dear Mr. Dawson,
We regret to inform you of the death of your
grandfather Emmanuel Dawson. Your presence is requested immediately in Boston,
Massachusetts, for the execution of his will and distribution of the estate.
Thank you.
Wallace Kennedy
Attorney at Law