BACK WITH YOU
Chapter Fifteen

Rose’s jade eyes fluttered open abruptly, and she gazed out the window across from her, realizing quickly that she was in her bedroom and that it was night. It was cold, so she snuggled deeper into the covers. Her mind immediately fixated on the fact that Jack’s return must have been a dream. It was too good to be true, and he wasn’t there now. Another stupid dream.

The tears started to fall and she tried to stop them, but failed miserably. She had wanted him to be real so badly. And the worst part was that it felt so real that she would have sworn it was. She could even taste the horrible flavor of vomit that seemed to be lingering still in her mouth. But no, here she was, supposedly alone. She didn’t even bother to look behind her, assuming it would be a void space and a huge disappointment.

Unbeknownst to her, though, Jack, who was indeed behind her, had woken up when she had started to sob and he watched as her shoulders heaved. It all came back to him immediately and he remembered why he was in her bed. He had lain down next to her, promising himself that he would just watch for a while to make sure she was all right. He must have fallen asleep, too. Now, Rose had curled into a little ball and was muttering something he couldn’t understand, until she said his name quite clearly.

Gently, he reached across and touched her shoulder. Her body froze, and he heard her whimper. Softly, he whispered her name and watched as she slowly turned her head toward him. Her crying tapered off as she looked into his eyes.

"You’re here," Rose stated hoarsely. "You weren’t a dream." She heard herself say it, but she wanted him to confirm it.

Jack chuckled and nodded his head in affirmation; he wasn’t a dream. He wanted to move closer to her, as they were a couple of feet apart, but he didn’t know if she would welcome that or not. So, instead, he just stayed where he was.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Rose nodded as she rolled all the way over, so that she could face him comfortably. "I just…I thought it had all been a dream and I got scared that I would have to get up, knowing what could have been." She smiled softly and wiped some of her tears away. "Did I fall asleep?" she finally asked, knowing that the answer was yes.

"Yeah, in the bathroom. I carried you in here and then I guess I fell asleep too."

"You’ve been here the whole time?"

"Uh-huh," came Jack’s soft reply.

Rose smiled and then surprisingly reached over to turn on a bedside lamp before sitting up. She drew her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them, and then sighed heavily. Jack watched her with curiosity. She seemed to be thinking something over and then finally, without looking at him, she spoke.

"Jack, I think you should go."

"What? Go where?" Jack’s voice cracked as he spoke and he sat up as well, moving closer to her. "I’m not leaving you."

"Jack…"

"No. I’m not leaving your side, ever again. Ever. I don’t want to lose you again. And besides, it’s like midnight. I’m not walking back to my apartment alone…it’s not in a great part of town." The pitiful excuse wasn’t worth a dime, especially since they both knew he had lived alone for years in a less than reputable section of New York. But it was worth a shot, and Jack took it.

Tears started to stream down Rose’s cheeks again. "Jack, I don’t want to you go, either, but--"

"But what?" he demanded gently, cutting her off.

It was only now that she turned and looked at him. His hair was mussed, all of it brushed to one side, and his shirt was rumpled. His eyes, though, were peering into hers, and in them she saw hurt. Oh, how she hated to do this to him. "You know what’s going to happen if you stay here, and…well, I’m scared that something will happen and you’ll leave again. And I’ll be all alone. What if I get pregnant again, or something, Jack? What if it really is a dream?"

Jack didn’t say anything, but softly brushed away some of her tears, and then slowly leaned in towards her. Before she could protest, he kissed her soundly and thoroughly and eventually got her to respond. He didn’t even mind that she had thrown up hours before. And just when he could feel her getting used to it, he broke away and looked into her eyes.

"I promise you, I won’t leave. You will never wake up and find me gone, ever again. We’re not on the Titanic anymore, Rosie. I’m not going to disappear beneath the ocean. And this isn’t a dream." Slowly, he brushed his index finger along her arm and watched as the goosebumps arose. She was weakening, he could tell. Her wanted to tell her he was scared, too. He was worried that it might all go away. But deep down he knew it wasn’t going to, and that kept him from succumbing to the doubt. He waited, somewhat impatiently, as her eyes searched his and she searched her mind for a response.

"I need you," he finally confessed. That won her over, and she immediately started to smile softly. He grinned back and moved even closer. "I’ve dreamed about this for eighteen years, Rose. You’re not going to get me to leave." And with that, he leaned in and kissed her again, deeper and more urgently than before. And this time, she warmed up to him in no time.

Rose couldn’t believe she was sitting here with her tongue in Jack’s mouth and kissing him as passionately as she was. This was definitely not a dream. This was the real, honest-to-God thing. He was here. And before she knew it, she had shifted so that she was facing him. He placed his hands on either side of her face and they continued their preoccupation with each other for some time. Jack made some quick progress, though, as he started to push her down on her back and then laid half on top of her, his mouth never once leaving hers.

When they finally did break for air, Jack gazed down at her with questioning eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

Rose answered his unsaid question by nodding and then whispering, "I need you as well, Jack."

He grinned down at her as he lovingly stroked her hair. "Okay…on one condition…"

"Oh, yeah?" Rose smiled teasingly. "And what’s that?"

"You have to go brush your Goddamned teeth."

Rose started laughing and pushed him off of her. "All right." She leaned over and kissed him once on the cheek. "I’ll be right back."

Jack was chuckling as she sauntered off toward the door and then out of the room. He smiled to himself and then stretched out, reaching above his head and yawning. Even though he was tired, there was no way he was going to sleep just yet.

And so he lay there, waiting impatiently for her to return. He glanced at the clock. It was just past midnight. The whole house was silent expect for the gentle roll of the ocean outside and a soft, faint tick-tock sound coming from an elegant grandfather clock in the hallway Jack hazily remembered passing when he brought Rose into her room. It was dark, too, much darker then his apartment downtown, and almost black compared to New York.

New York. What was he going to do now? Jack wondered as he suddenly realized he wouldn’t--couldn’t--go back. The city represented his old, dark, void-of-Rose life. There was no way he was returning. But what would Rose want? Did she even want him there?

Of course she does, you jackass. He chided himself for even thinking such a thing. If she freaked out when she thought he was gone, what would she do if he actually did leave? He couldn’t imagine it, and couldn’t imagine himself leaving her, either. He missed her already, and she had been gone no more than three minutes.

When he looked up again, she was in the doorway, stunning him to the point of breathlessness with her hair out of its upsweep and falling around her shoulders, and a soft glow from either the lamp or possibly excitement. Jack couldn’t tell. Either way, she looked fantastic.

Rose started blushing as she watched him stare at her with that awed look in his piercing eyes. She was suddenly very nervous. This was Jack. How long had they both waited for this?

"I brushed my teeth," was the only thing she could manage to say. And even that was mumbled, looking down at the ground.

Jack didn’t respond, and she slowly looked up to find him smiling softly. He held out his hand, and Rose came inside the room, closing the door and locking it behind her. Dreamlike, she walked toward him in what were agonizingly slow steps. And when she finally did pause before the bed, he only smiled more brightly than before.

Rose was trembling slightly as she climbed up onto the bed and crawled over to where he was propped up on some pillows. Everything seemed to pass slower as she then softly kissed him. She was trying to make this as natural as possible, but it was hard. She wanted so badly to make him happy.

Jack noticed her shaking hand and wrapped his own around it. "Are you all right?" he asked softly when they broke from their kiss. She nodded and managed to give him a gentle smile.

"Yes, Jack," she whispered. "Just...nervous is all." Her honesty surprised even herself. But it was just so easy to talk to him.

Now he was nervous as he realized she was. But before he could dwell on it too much, he felt Rose’s lips back upon his and he decided to try and forget about the subject. Her shaking seemed to subside somewhat as he pulled her closer and they settled against each other. Their intimate exploration of each other’s bodies continued as Rose became bolder and Jack felt that lost night come back to him. Everything that had once been so familiar came back quickly as they once again found each other.

Tentatively, Jack moved over her and began to kiss the hollows of her neck, tenderly at first and then with more urgency as the situation at hand progressed. And never one to disappoint, Rose started to fumble with his shirt buttons. But she soon found it difficult to even get to them and promptly gave up until Jack’s mouth was once again upon hers. As soon as the thing was undone, she broke the kiss and searched his eyes before tugging on the shirt and slowly bringing it up over his head. For a moment, she just stared at his bare chest, running her hands gracefully over the exposed flesh.

"You’ve changed," she mumbled hoarsely. She didn’t mean it meanly. In fact, it looked like he had gained more muscle in their time apart. And in short, he looked fantastic.

Jack chuckled a bit. "I’m not twenty anymore. And besides, I spent a couple of years lifting crates down on a pier in New York…you build up muscles." But he was suddenly self-conscience of his own body, and tried to distract Rose from his chest by running his fingers along her neckline. But she responded by gently kissing him on the stomach and leaving a trail of such up the middle of his chest, up his neck, and finally reaching his mouth. This, of course, drove Jack mad and he kissed her fiercely back.

All barriers of nervousness or embarrassment of self were then cast aside as clothes began to rapidly fly. They began to discover things they had never known and some they had painfully forgotten, and when the time came for Jack to enter her, Rose just gave a swift nod of her head.

Once again, they possessed heaven on earth and continued to stay there until the sun began to rise in the distant east and light began to illuminate the earth once again.

Rose settled comfortably against Jack in spoon-like fashion and let him hold her. Blankets enfolded them as they watched the sky become lighter as the minutes ticked away. It was probably the most beautiful thing she had seen in her life, aside from her daughter. And as far as she was concerned, it was better this time. They didn’t have to rush out of there and had had time to actually make love to one another.

"I missed you so," she whispered softly into the quietness.

Jack kissed the back of her neck, then trailed up to her ear. "Me too," he whispered back, leaving her skin just long enough to murmur it. Then he was back at it, kissing down her neck this time, across her shoulder blades, and across her back.

She smiled and closed her eyes, sighing happily. "Jack…we can’t," she protested after a minute. She knew very well what would happen if he kept this up, and Jessamyn would be awake soon. And then they would have to get up. It had been hard enough to stop the first time; she knew she couldn’t do it again.

Jack pretended to groan miserably, but obeyed her request and laid his head down behind hers. Her hair smelled of roses and he buried his face in her soft curls. He could stay here forever, if only they had that long. Eventually, he knew, they would have to get up.

"I love you," he suddenly whispered into her ear. He had been waiting to say it, and now seemed like the perfect time.

Rose was shocked and closed her eyes as the tears began to form. He loved her. They were words she had never expected to hear him confess to her as long as she lived. But he was here, saying them, now. How long had she waited for this moment?

"I love you, too, Jack. So much," she whispered back. She felt his embrace on her tighten as she uttered the words.

"I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. But I always did, you know. From the moment I saw you." He felt her nod, but she did not say a word. He knew she knew. Slowly, he started to kiss the back of her neck. Rose responded by leaning back, closer to his body.

"Jack, there is so much we need to talk about," she said after a minute. He stopped kissing her and leaned over her body, peering into her eyes.

"Like what?" he asked softly, kissing the top of her nose.

Rose rolled over in his arms so that their faces were only inches apart. "Jessamyn," she replied, "among other things."

"She’s so beautiful, Rose."

She nodded in agreement. "I know. But, Jack, she’s probably really confused. I’m still a little confused."

"How much did you tell her?"

Rose blushed and buried her face in his chest. "Everything," he heard her mumble into his skin.

"Everything…everything?"

"Yes. The whole thing."

Jack started laughing, surprising Rose. She brought her head up and looked at him. "What’s so funny?" she asked, smiling as she did so.

"Nothing. I just love you," he replied, kissing the top of her nose again.

Rose gave him a sly look and shook her head. "But what are we going to do with her, Jack? She needs to know what happened to you, for one. And two, she doesn’t want to leave. She’s told me that. But she still has her adoptive family back in Maine; they’re going to interfere at some point. She told you the whole story, right?"

Jack nodded. "Yes…well…except she didn’t know you or me then, but she told me what had happened to her. And then, this past week, she’s explained to me why you did it. Now I understand."

Rose chose to not comment on why she let Jessamyn go. As far as she was concerned, that was the biggest mistake of her life. She would give almost anything to have those eighteen years back. If only she had known that life in Santa Monica would be better than in New York.

"Well, I don’t want to force her to stay with us--" She cut herself off. Us? How did she even know Jack was going to stay? She had just assumed so. But what if he had other plans? Oh, my God, she thought miserably, as thought after thought entered her head. What if he doesn’t even want a daughter? Tentatively, she looked up at him, and to her surprise, found him smiling.

"You didn’t think I was actually leaving, did you?" he asked, reading her mind.

Rose started blushing and shrugged. "I didn’t know if you wanted to go back to New York or something…"

"I’m staying here, Rose. I mean…as long as you want me to."

"Of course I do!"

"And Jessamyn will stay with us, as long as she wants to." Jack inched closer to her with every word, until his nose was just touching hers.

Rose nodded. "Okay," she said, smiling. "Sounds good."

Jack grinned back at her and then lay back on the pillows, releasing Rose from his arms. "I’m tired," he remarked as he, oh-so-appropriately, yawned.

Rose moved over him and let her chin come to rest on his chest. She watched as he stared back at her, his eyes ever so slowly closing. "Are you really going to go to sleep on me?" she asked tenderly.

"Only if you join me," he remarked groggily as his eyes shut all the way.

"Well, in that case…" Rose sat up, bringing the sheet with her, and was about to get out of the bed, hoping he would follow her. She could think of better things they could do besides sleep. But instead, she felt his arm come around her waist and his powerful arm pull her back down.

"I’m cold," was his excuse as she settled next to him.

"Uh-huh," Rose teased, smiling at him. But she didn’t move. She simply laid one of her arms behind him on the pillow, let the other one drape across his chest, where her hand was met with Jack’s, and casually crossed one of her legs across his. Her head came to rest next to his, and she gently kissed the side of his cheek before closing her own eyes. There was still a lot more to discuss and so much more to do, but as far as Rose was concerned, it could all wait until later. Suddenly, sleep didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.

Chapter Sixteen
Stories