BACK WITH YOU
Chapter Three
Santa Monica, California
Rose groaned as she opened up her eyes and
saw that it was daylight out. Sun meant that it was morning, morning meant
Monday, and Monday meant she had to get up and go to work...again. It seemed as
if the cycle never ended. She always looked forward, with unexplainable joy, to
Friday. She would run home from work, throw on some comfortable clothes, and
then relax in the sweet release of freedom. Saturday would be spent doing
whatever the hell she wanted. And then Sunday would come, with a bittersweet
feeling to it. She had the day off, but there was also the reminded that Monday
was less then twenty-four hours away and well, that pretty much spoiled the
whole day.
Rose was seriously considering going back to
sleep and going into work late, claiming to have had a headache or something
along those lines, but as she was contemplating whether or not to do so, she
remembered that today was the day that Mr. Green was coming from Chicago. She
had to be there on time to make sure the shop looked decent enough.
The shop; a small, well-off, children's book
store overlooking the coast. Rose had started it in 1915, after moving to Santa
Monica in 1913 and working as a waitress until the idea for the shop came. It
had done pretty well its first couple of years, but when the war hit, business
boomed. Mothers came from all over the city just to buy their books for their
children there, trying to make up for the men being gone. For a while now Rose
had been thinking about expanding, and well, if Mr. Green liked the place
enough, they were going to, with the help of his investments, make the shop
into a full-fledged book store. The business opportunity was outstanding and if
Rose could land this, she was well on her way...well, to somewhere. She wasn't
sure where. No matter how successful she had been, she still felt an endless
loneliness inside of her heart.
She had dated a few times, never once really
connecting with the person. The relationship usually ended a few weeks after it
began and last year Rose decided it was useless. She was never going to have
another Jack, and she had to face that. Single life had been good to her,
though, and Rose was okay with how things were going. Her world wasn't ideal,
but it was fine. And she was happy so long as she occupied herself with tasks.
Otherwise, if she wasn't busy, her mind would wonder and start with the
"What ifs?" that she hated so much. And then the memories would flood
back, and finally the tears would come and she would eventually end up crying
herself to sleep.
Giving up to the inevitable, Rose threw back
the covers and slowly got out of her lonely bed. She had never known another
man besides Jack, and she somehow knew that was because she knew no one could
ever measure up. He was her one and only. She was, most likely, going to die a
born again virgin, and frankly, Rose was okay with that. She just wasn't sure
she wanted to do anything close to love-making again unless it was with a man
named Jack Dawson, with shaggy blond hair and piercing blue eyes, who loved her
for her.
Of course, every time she thought even
remotely about that time with Jack, the result of that joining came to
mind--Jessamyn. From the moment Rose had found out she was pregnant, she had
rejoiced with happiness. Something of Jack's was and would be forever hers.
Instead of feeling ashamed of being pregnant out of wedlock, Rose had strutted
about as any moral childbearing woman would. When people questioned her about
the father, she flashed a purchased ring at them and then told them that he had
died a few months ago. The poor victims believed her and Rose went back to
being the only one who knew the truth. She had loved every minute of pregnancy
and, although money started to be a problem early on, she cherished each
moment. But, after Jessamyn had been born, things started to go wrong very
quickly. And before Rose knew it, she had no money, no job, and was sitting in
her dump of an apartment with a sick baby. After several long, sleepless
nights, Rose had come to the decision that she couldn't give Jessamyn what she
needed. And so, painfully, she had looked into adoption. Within a week, they
had found a family for little Jessamyn, the Calverts. Giving her child up had
been one of the hardest things Rose had ever done in her life, second only to
trying to get over the loss of Jack; a task that hadn't been accomplished yet.
Attempting not the think of such things so
much this early in the morning, Rose quickly got ready and then scampered off
to work. On the way, she grabbed a scone and a coffee from a local breakfast
place and then continued on.
The sun shone brightly and many people were
outside, enjoying the unusually warm February weather. The day would have been
perfect, except for on the way Rose noticed several shops decked out in
decorations for the approaching Valentine's Day and it downed her spirits. She
just wasn't in the mood to watch people express their love for each other. It
just wasn't fair, to put it bluntly.
A bell above the door chimed as Rose entered
the shop. To her surprise, everything looked relatively normal and somewhat in
order. She shook her head and then started toward the back, where her office
was. On the way, she passed by the check-out counter and to Rose's surprise,
her assistant popped up.
"Hey, Mrs. Dawson!"
"Phoebe, I've known you for over five
years now. I think it's all right if you call me by my first name," Rose
called over her shoulder as she continued walking. Phoebe, a somewhat crazy,
sort of off, young girl had the ridiculous habit of calling Rose by her formal
title once in a while. It drove Rose crazy, and she was constantly reminding
her assistant to knock it off. But aside from all that, Phoebe had become
somewhat of a friend and well, Rose was quite happy that she was working here.
She would be done with college next year though, and Rose could only hope to
persuade her to stay in Santa Monica. A little company never hurt.
Her office was, unlike the shop, in complete
disarray. And as she entered it, she reminded herself that Mr. Green was not to
come in here. She would just put a sign on the outside of the door that said
janitor or something. That would keep him away.
"Rose, those papers you sent for,"
Phoebe said suddenly, coming into her boss’s office, "they came from New
York." She set a stack of three big, brown, envelopes down on Rose's desk.
"They feel thick. I think that's a good sign."
Rose picked up the first of the envelopes and
ripped into it. She pulled out a stack of papers, all with readable printing on
them. In her hands Rose held several lists of books from different publishers
that would be willing to ship the listed products to her shop. Quickly she
scanned the contents and then smiled up at Phoebe.
"This is great, Phoebe. Thank you."
Phoebe smiled and then shrugged her tiny
shoulders. "No problem. I'll come and get you right before Mr. Green is
supposed to show up."
"Okay. Oh, Phoebe wait." Her
assistant turned around and came back to Rose's desk. Rose smiled and then
handed Phoebe a piece of paper. "Here, can you tape this on the outside of
my door. Oh, can you get me some more coffee, please?"
Phoebe gave Rose a weird look after looking
at the paper and then nodded. "I guess. What kind of coffee do you
want?"
Rose groaned and rubbed some sleep out of her
eyes. "Oh, just black," she finally answered.
"All right. I'll be back in a
minute," Phoebe said before leaving the room and shutting the door behind
herself, leaving Rose alone. Quietly, she sighed and leaned back in the
uncomfortable wooden chair. She hoped that Mr. Green was impressed with the
shop. Expanding would be a great opportunity and she would love the chance.
For lack of anything to do at the moment,
Rose reached over and pulled over the stack of books and publishers. There were
some titles that she would defiantly be interested in getting, and some that
looked or sounded downright awful. Thanking she had better mark which ones she
wanted and didn't want, Rose started looking around for a pencil. But, since
her desk was such a mess, she had no luck and a minute later came up empty
handed. Discouraged, she started going through her desk drawers. One by one she
searched, finding nothing. And then finally, she was left with only the very
bottom one. Angry, she pulled it open harshly and stuck her hand inside. She
was met with a sharp poke to her finger. Rose cursed heavily and pulled her
hand out, sticking her now bleeding finger into her mouth. Mad as hell, she
angrily looked back into the drawer to see what had caused the injury.
In disbelief, she pulled out a safety pin
that was sitting on a pile of things. She held the little object up to the light
and shook her head before throwing it across the room. Rose took her finger out
of her mouth and rolled her eyes at the small poke. It was amazing how
something so small could hurt so bad.
Sighing, Rose went to close the bottom
drawer, giving up on the pencil. But as she was shutting it, something caught
her eye. Curiously, she peered into the drawer and at the small picture that
was resting there. It was of Jessamyn.
In a trance, Rose pulled the photo out and
stared at it. Her daughter, just a day old, lay immortalized in the back and
white capture. It was one of the few pictures she had of Jessamyn, and Rose
wondered how on Earth it had ended up there. She continued to stare at the
child until her eyes filled up with tears and her heart swelled to the point
where it scared her. She jumped and threw the picture down. Standing up
quickly, she started walking around the room, trying to get her daughter out of
her head.
That was a very bad idea, she told herself. God, you idiot! She should
have never even picked up the picture in the first place. It was like
accidentally shooting herself in the stomach. It caused nothing but pain and
trouble.
A knock on the door startled her and Rose
spun around just as Phoebe walked in.
"Here is your coffee, Rose," her
assistant said cheerfully, handing Rose the steaming cup of liquid.
Rose gratefully grabbed it out of her hands,
mumbled a thanks, and then gulped it down quickly. The caffeine got into her
veins and she felt a little better almost immediately. Just the smell of the
drink caused her brain to relax and her head to clear. As soon as she calmed
down, Rose turned and looked at Phoebe, who was staring at her.
"What?" Rose asked rudely, trying
to get her to back off.
"Uh, nothing," Phoebe stammered,
averting her eyes and starting to move around. "Um…Mr. Green should be
here any minute," she said, putting some mail on Rose's desk. "So,
yeah, if you want to be out there when he arrives..."
Rose nodded curtly. "Okay, thank you,
Phoebe."
Phoebe shook her head and then left the room
quickly, not bothering to close the door behind herself. Rose closed her eyes
and took a deep breath.
Dear Lord, just let me get through this
next hour, she prayed before opening
her eyes back up and blinking. "Here goes," she whispered as she left
the office, pushing the door back as she walked out and shutting it with a
thud.