CALIFORNIA PARADISE
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The crisp air blew around the bare trees and
flew towards the sun sinking lower and lower in the sky. As the days passed,
tiny white buds began appearing on the trees. They soon blossomed into a
million white blossoms that filled the air with their scent. The flowers
gradually fell off and covered the ground like perfumed snow, waiting for the
breeze to sail them away. The trees then got tiny green specks on them that
soon grew into the perfect green leaves of spring.
On a day when the sky was a perfect blue with
great, big, billowing white clouds set in place by heaven’s angels, the Dawsons
set out to the Hockley house for Cal and Isabella’s children’s, Nathan and Natalie’s
first birthday party in late March.
Jack had cut his hair short and he was
looking as stunning as ever in a simple navy blue outfit and black leather
shoes. Rose, linking her arm in his, the soft bulge at her belly practically
invisible to most , wore a deep purple skirt with silk trim going diagonally
down with a lilac satin shirt. She was proud to be one of the few redheads that
looked bedazzling in purple, and on that particular day she looked especially
charming.
It was the twins’ first birthday, and inside
the house Jack and Rose went straight to the royal pair. They were beautiful
children, to say the least. Nathan’s hair was the darkest brown you could
imagine without being considered black, and his eyes were giant orbs of
darkness. Natalie had hair darker than midnight, and the short locks looked
like woven silk atop her smiling head. They were plump and rosy, just as babies
should be, and they looked upon the adoring crowd gazing at them with curiosity
and amazement.
"Would you like to hold them?"
Isabella came to kneel beside her children. With experienced care, she lifted Natalie
up into her arms. "Usually they’d be in a crying fit right now, but
they’re curious little creatures, and are probably too busy taking all this in
to cry," she explained as she slid the child into Rose’s arms.
Rose clumsily supported her, not sure where
to put her hands and obviously doing something wrong, as the child began to
sniffle.
"Jack, help!" she said.
He carefully took Natalie out of her arms and
held her in his own. He seemed to be a pro, and Natalie instantly quieted. He
rested her tiny chin on his shoulder, and a giggle of joy escaped her rose petal
lips.
*****
"Jack, what am I going to do?" Rose
asked in despair. It was hours after the party, and they were getting ready for
bed.
"‘Bout what, hon?" Jack asked, half
muffled by the undershirt he slept in being pulled over his head.
"I’m a terrible mother!"
He slipped into bed beside her and put his
arms around her shoulders. "Rose, what in the world would give you that
idea?"
She looked at him in disbelief. "You did
see me with Natalie today, didn’t you?"
He couldn’t resist a faint smirk. "Is
that what you’re worried about? Of course you can’t hold a kid. When would you
have had any experience? Look, when the baby comes, that’s when you get
your experience. People aren’t just born knowing these things. We can be two
fumbling idiots together."
"But that’s just it. You’re wonderful
with children. I’m the only one in this bed right now that’s a
dud."
"I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Now, I
want you to get a full night’s rest. You’re sleeping for two. And I don’t want
you to worry about this for another second. Trust me. Everything will work out
fine. This is just one of life’s lessons. You’ll see."
*****
Rose watched jealously as Jack fell into
peaceful sleep within minutes. She tossed and turned for hours until she
finally fell into a fitful rest that had her waking up again every half hour.
This went on for days. She slowly began to
get dark circles under her eyes and was never in a good mood.
On the fourth day of these terrible nights,
she had a disturbing dream that had her waking covered with sweat and her heart
beating loudly in her chest.
The dream began with a blurry figure walking
down the street. As it came into better focus, she saw that it was herself she
was looking at. Clutching onto her hand was a little girl with her red hair and
Jack’s eyes. Their daughter.
"Mommy, I want that, and that, and that,
and that, and..." The girl kept pointing to store windows and demanding
the things inside.
"Sweetie, you know you can’t possibly
have all those things," Rose saw herself saying.
"But, Mommy, I want them!"
Rose saw herself firmly protesting as Jack
came out of one of the stores.
"Here you are, my precious angel."
Jack handed the little girl everything she had asked for.
Then the girl hugged and thanked him for
everything. "Mommy didn’t want to get me any of these things, but I knew
you would."
Jack’s eyes clouded as he coldly looked at
Rose. "Well, she was obviously mistaken."
The background faded, and Rose found herself staring
at the trio in the kitchen of their own house, having breakfast. The little
girl was now years older, and she sat close to Jack on the other side of the
table. They murmured secrets to each other and laughed. She sensed the distance
and coldness they felt for Rose.
She heard the girl say to Jack, "And
Mommy said I shouldn’t be given a pony for my eleventh birthday."
Jack looked at Rose sharply, and threw the
table down, in perfect reflection of what Cal had done so long ago at breakfast
on the Titanic. Rose entered the Rose at the table and found that she could
hear nothing but fear pounding against her eardrums. She saw Jack’s face
contort in anger, but couldn’t hear the menacing words he was screaming at her.
The background and girl faded into blackness and all she could see was the
angry Jack. Gradually, she was able to hear what he was saying to her,
"You’re a terrible mother to our little girl. That’s how I felt from the
start, and it’s the best feeling in the world to get it out in the open. I’m
leaving now, Rose." From behind him, the girl appeared. She linked her arm
in his and they turned around and began walking away. Rose had no voice to
protest as the darkness turned into a dirty alleyway with her crouching in a
puddle of mud and the dirt crawling all over her. She saw the two figures in
the distance.
When they were almost out of sight, the girl
turned around and her cold eyes looked straight at Rose. "You brought this
on yourself. You were a bad mother and now we’re both leaving. You don’t deserve
us."
*****
The dream repeated itself for a week, until
Rose was almost mad with confusion. Finally, she told Jack about it. She was
surprised at his response.
"Rose, I’m worried to death about having
a baby, too!"
They shared what they were nervous about.
They talked until they were too weary to go on. Finally, after almost two
weeks, Rose fell into a calm sleep. And she had a new dream, too.
The dream was set in a beautiful meadow and
it was just her, Jack, and their sparkling little girl. They were laughing as
they pushed their daughter higher and higher on a swing, and their world was
absolutely, blissfully, perfect.