CAL'S CHRISTMAS VISITOR
Chapter Four
Rose shivered as
the wind blew through the palm trees. She felt chilled not from the warm
breeze, but rather from a feeling or a premonition that she had. She looked up
at the Spanish style house and wished that she did not have to go in. While she
had promised her friends that she would come to this party it was not really
what she wanted to do. She had reluctantly decided that it was better than
being alone at Christmas.
“Jack, I don’t know
how I can keep doing this. Living for both of us. Sometimes I want to give up.
And then I see you or think I hear you and you give me strength,” she
whispered, looking up at the sky. “Well, Jack, here I go again. I just hope no
one says something that reminds me of that awful night.”
She squared her
shoulders and daintily lifted her ankle length skirt as she climbed the stone
steps to Franklin Hamilton’s stucco mansion. The lights from every room in the
house cast a warm glow on sidewalk and decorations on the lawn. Laughter and
music filtered out the open doorway. The evergreen wreath on the door and the
pine branches wrapped around the railing, seemed out of place in this balmy
climate.
“As out of place as
I feel,” sighed Rose.
A middle aged man,
of medium height was standing at the top of the stairs, admiring his young
guest.
“Ah, Rose, I am
glad I was right here at the door to meet you,” said Franklin Hamilton, looking
suave in a black silk smoking jacket.
Rose smiled
politely at the man who had been directing her in films for the past few
months. She did not want to offend him so she forced herself to give more than
the lukewarm response that was on the tip of her tongue.
“Franklin, it was
so kind of you to invite me. All of us really. So many of the people from the
studio have no friends here. And it does get a bit lonely on the holidays.”
Franklin smiled
indulgently at Rose. “Well, perhaps if you stay in this town long enough, you
will have a family.”
She knew the hidden
meaning of his words. He repeatedly offered to take her home after work, and to
dine with her. But Rose kept giving him one excuse after another. It was hard
enough trying to live, while loving a dead person. But to get involved again
with someone who bore such a distinct resemblance to Cal, was the last straw.
Before she could
give a reply, several young women came fluttering around Rose.
“Oh, Rose, Rosie,
are we glad you could come. It was getting so late, that we thought you had
changed your mind.”
“Oh, no, Clara. I
just took my time walking over here. It is such a lovely night,” said Rose.
“It is,” agreed a
blond, named Imogene. “Say, Rose, that handsome Tommy Finch has been asking for
you. Wanted to know if we thought you might dance with him.” Imogene covered
her mouth with her hand and giggled.
“Dance,” Rose
thought to herself. “I haven’t danced since….Could I possibly dance with
another man?”
“You’re gonna get
out of here, and go on and have lots of babies…”
Rose closed her
eyes.
“You must do me
this honor. You must promise to survive.”
Jack really wanted
her to live. He had made her promise to go on for both of them. And tonight she
was at least going to try a little harder. Suddenly she broke into a grin.
“Where is old
Tommy? I’ll tell him myself that I will dance with him,” she offered
recklessly.
Rose had noticed
that in the last few weeks, her feelings of sadness, were slowly diminishing.
Instead of mourning Jack, she turned her thoughts to him for support and
advice.
“I just wish that I
would not have had that funny feeling earlier. But he made me promise. I have
to live. I am going to make myself have fun tonight.”
Cal and Jack stood
just outside the open terrace doors, watching the party going on before them. A
small orchestra was playing lively, popular tunes. The guests, women in
beautiful dresses and the men in suits, moved around the room in a kaleidoscope
of color. Jack felt the urge to tap his foot in time with the music. If only he
could go in there and dance with Rose.
“Dawson, look at
them. They don’t care about anything. So irresponsible. Do they even know or
care where their next meal is coming from?” observed Cal.
“Cal, you’ve
forgotten how to have a good time. You don’t even know what the word fun means.
That was the wonderful thing about Rose. She was so spirited and full of fun
and mischief.”
Cal looked a Jack
with a puzzled expression before he turned and watched the dancers for a few
more minutes. Finally he spoke. “Where are we now Jack. Is this real? Is Rose
alive? Is that a vision of her, or really her?”
Jack let Cal think
about this for a few minutes before answering. He was busy watching Rose go
from partner to partner. There was a smile on her face. Her body moved through
the crowd with grace and ease. He bit his lip and felt a pain inside of him. If
only. But someday, a long time from now, he knew what would happen.
“Does it look real
to you?” Jack asked, watching for the reaction on Cal’s face.
“Dammit, Dawson,
tell me. Is she alive?”
Jack nodded his
head. “Yes, Cal, she’s alive. That’s really her. I promised I’d take you to
her. And now you can see for yourself, how she is. She’s not had an easy time.
But she gets better everyday.”
“Alive? You’re
sure?” exclaimed Cal. “She died too. Or did you hide her from me?”
“Yes, she’s alive.
How could I hide her? I’m the one that died. No, Rose has been making her own
choices. After I saved her life, she made the decision to keep away from you,”
Jack told him.
Cal contemplated
this for a moment and then pulled his hand through his hair roughly. Like a
spoiled child, he shouted, “No, Rose, you can’t do that. You are engaged to me.
Rose, Rose! Come here, now.”
He started to
charge forward through the terrace door. But before Jack could put his hand out
to stop him Cal felt trapped by an icy wall.
“Dawson, let me get
to her. I need to talk to Rose. She doesn’t know about the necklace. I need to
find out what she did with the necklace.”
Jack moved his head
from side to side. It was typical of Cal that he would be more interested in
the necklace, than the feelings of his fiancée. Only Cal would think like that.
“Is that
materialistic side of you showing through again? Sounds to me like you need the
necklace, not Rose. Remember, she can’t hear you.”
Cal jerked away
from Jack and stalked back into the garden, mumbling angrily about the coat and
the necklace. Jack followed him listening as Cal raged. His mind was not on the
monetary value of the necklace, but on the drawing he had done of Rose wearing
it. “Look, Dawson, I want you to get her out where I can talk to her. Do
something,” Cal pleaded. Jack shrugged his shoulders.
“I can get her out
here, but I can’t promise she is going to talk to you.”
“Rose, wait here.
I’ll go and get us a drink,” said Tommy, his face flushed from the strenuous
dancing.
They were both hot
and tired from the exhausting dancing. So far she had been having a very nice
time. As long as she was away from Mr. Hamilton, she intended to continue doing
just that. She stood waiting in the corner of the room watching her friends
Imogene and Clara, flirting and waltzing. It seemed as though everyone was
enjoying themselves. The room had been beautifully decorated for the holidays.
A tall tree dominated the center of the large parlor and everywhere were
professionally made flower arrangements.
“Pretty,” thought
Rose. “Nothing warm or cozy about it though. Jack would not approve,” she said
to herself, smiling. “Nor do I.”
“What are you
smiling about,” questioned Tommy as he came back with the drinks.
“Oh, Tommy look
out,” warned Rose. One of the guests who’d had too much to drink crashed
against Tommy’s back, throwing ice everywhere.
Tommy gasped and
shoved the man away. “Rose, help me get this ice out of my shirt. I feel like I
am freezing to death.”
Rose lifted her
hand to her mouth. Her eyes dilated widely. Why those words? “Freezing to
death.” Exactly what had happened to Jack. She turned and ran blindly from him.
“Rose, Rose, come
back,” cried Tommy. “What’s wrong?”
He shouted to Rose
as she disappeared outside.
She found herself
in the garden and looked for a place to hide for a few moments. Rose grabbed
the side of a bench and slipped into the seat. Her body was wracked with sobs
and her eyes were filled with tears.
“Well, you wanted
her out here, Cal. But look how upset she is?” said Jack, his heart breaking as
he helplessly watched Rose.
“I’ll get her to
talk to me,” Cal replied confidently.
He stood up
straighter and smoothed his lapels. He was at last going to speak with Rose.
Just as he was about to approach her, Rose put her hands up to her face and
tried to wipe away the tears. She leaned back against the bench and looked up
at the sky.
“Oh, Jack, I try so
hard. And I really was having a good time. Then someone will say something like
that and all the pain comes back to me.”
Cal took a few
steps closer to where Rose stood.
“Rose. Rose, listen
to me,” shouted Cal. “ I want to take you away from all this. I can give you
everything you want. I can replace everything you lost. I will give you a good
home. You won’t have to work. I need you to be my hostess. Everyone will envy
me with you as a wife. Rose, please. Come with me,” pleaded Cal, frustrated
that she was not responding. “Dawson, make her hear me! Maybe if I tell her
about the necklace?”
Jack shook his head
sadly. Cal was unable to comprehend the meaning of love and commitment. He only
thought about his possessions. And to him, Rose was just another possession.
She sat there
listening to the sounds coming from the house as she wrapped her arms around
herself. She felt again the unexplained chill that had come over her when she
had first arrived at the party.
“I wish I knew why
I felt like that.”
She glanced back up
at the ongoing party. Somehow, she had to go back in there and make an
explanation for her unusual behavior.
“Rose,” Cal
repeated sharply. “Dawson, make her listen,” he demanded.
Jack stretched his
hands out in front of him and tilted his head towards Cal.
“I can’t make her
do anything, Cal. Maybe if you used the right words, she might feel your
presence. But she is not a dog. Offering her a good home is not exactly an
enticement that would appeal to her.”
Rose stood up and
went to lean against the tree, only inches from where Jack and Cal stood. She
took a deep breath and traced the tree bark with her fingers. It felt rough and
mysterious. Like Jack himself. She drank in the fragrance of the nearby roses.
Slowly, she started to feel a calmness about her.
“Jack, I feel your
presence. I know you are nearby. You gave me a hard task to live up to. But
whenever I feel you near me, I know I have to go on. In my heart, I carry all
the love that we share. All the love that I still long to give to you. You have
taught me so much and given me so much. For as long as I live Jack, our love
will live. And then someday, I will come back to you. No matter who I meet and
no matter what happens."
She held her arms
in front of herself and closed her eyes, trying to remember what Jack’s embrace
had felt like. A little smile formed on her face.
“That one time,
Jack, that night in the car, I felt I became a part of you forever. As if we
were spiritually married.”
Cal’s face turned
white. He knew about the drawing, but he had never really believed that
anything else had happened. Was this was Jack had meant when he yelled back at
her, “You know me,” as he had been lead away.
“My God, I had
everything to give her and yet she gave him what she denied me.”
Jack put his head
down, embarrassed that Cal had heard Rose’s words to him. Yet in spite of that,
he felt proud. Proud that Rose felt that deep commitment to him.
“Oh, Jack,” she
sighed, “I’ll do what you told me. I’ll go on and meet someone and have those
babies we should have shared. It will never be what we could have had.” Her
hand came to rest over her chest. “But you will always be here in my heart. Nothing
can take you away from me there.”
Before she headed
back in, she looked up at the sky.
“Come with me,
Jack. Be with me tonight in me dreams. So I can tell you I love you.”
Jack watched as she
gracefully moved among the bushes and returned to the house. He reached out for
her, but his arm just missed her as she passed him. He could smell the scent of
her perfume and feel the heat of her body. But as he started to move, that cold
wall formed and he could go no further. He felt the hot tears in his eyes and
leaned his forehead against the wall, wondering just how long forever was.
Cal looked at him.
He had never seen anyone look more pitiful. He felt a tugging inside of him
that he did not understand. Rose had spoken to Jack, even though Jack had uttered
no words. She had talked about their love and how it would live forever. This
feeling between the two of them was so strong, that just his invisible presence
evoked a reaction from her. He on the other hand had screamed and raged and
she’d had not a thought of him.
Cal stood watching
Jack. Love. That what was had connected Rose and Jack forever. Not wealth or
the necklace or any other material thing.
“Jack, maybe if I
told her I loved her,” asked Cal, suddenly confused.
“It’s more than
telling, Cal. It’s what the feeling is in your heart.”
Jack stood up
straight and took a quick glance at Rose who was now back inside talking to her
friends. He lifted his hand to his mouth and blew a kiss her way. Her head
turned and she looked out in the garden, a smile on her face.
Cal gave Jack a
dumbfounded look. How did she know Jack was there? How could she go on saying
she loved someone who was dead? How did one get that feeling that they had for
each other?
“Jack?” asked Cal
in a subdued voice. “How did you get her to feel that way about you? You had
nothing to offer her. I don’t understand. Truly, I don’t."
Jack tilted his
head and pursed his lips. He turned to Cal with pity in his eyes.
“It all begins with
respect, Cal. And trust. You still don’t understand that you can’t buy a
person. You have to let your feelings show through. Rose and I felt that those
feelings the first time we saw each other. She saw me for what I was and
respected and honored that. And the same with me. I knew she was much more than
a beautiful first class lady. She had a spirit, and a fire within her that
longed to be free. You never figured that out, did you? She’s an intelligent
woman, not some statue that belongs in a glass case.”
“Dawson, you’re a
dreamer,” said Cal scathingly. “Fires, spirit. What the devil are you talking
about? She was a woman. You just didn’t think I could manage my own fiancée.”
“Obviously not,
Cal. Or she wouldn’t have given me a second glance,” answered Jack.
Cal squeezed his
eyes together, giving Jack a look of disdain at that remark. Jack clapped his
hand against Cal’s shoulder, indicating that they had spent enough time here.
“Listen, Cal. I had
hoped to help you tonight. And so far, I don’t know if we are getting anywhere.
We still have one more place to go. If that doesn’t work, then I don’t know
what will. Come on. The night is passing quickly.”
Jack inclined his
head in the direction that Cal was to follow. As if to protect himself from the
light he knew was coming, Cal started to put his hands to his face. Jack gave
one more look at Rose. And with a sense of longing in his heart, led Cal on to
their next destination.