CAL'S CHRISTMAS VISITOR
Chapter Five
Even though Cal
could not feel the bitterly cold air, just looking at the swirling snow and the
creaking branches, made him put his arms across his chest and hunch over in an
attempt to warm himself.
“Dawson, what are
we doing here, in a churchyard of all places?” Cal asked.
Jack looked away
from the squirrels he had been watching and studied Cal. “Hmmm? Well, Cal, this
is our last stop. Your last chance to see if you can change things, change the
future, if you will."
Cal wrinkled his
forehead and looked puzzled. “Really, Jack, I think this whole thing has been a
waste of time. I got to see Rose, but she didn’t even look at me. And the main
thing was that I never got the necklace back from her. You probably arranged
that. Do you know how much that cost, Dawson?”
Jack gave Cal an
intense look, his eyes boring into the other man’s. “What did what cost, Cal?
Not talking to Rose or not getting the necklace? You see, you still don’t get
it do you? What was more important to you? Talking to Rose about your feelings
for her or getting your hands on the necklace?”
Cal unwrapped his
arms and shook his fists in front of him. “God, Dawson, you are hopeless. It was
worth so much to me. I can never replace it.”
Jack turned his
head away from Cal, almost unable to stomach the man’s surly attitude. “Rose or
the necklace, Cal? Which one is irreplaceable?” Jack asked again.
“Why the neck………”
began Cal. His words drifted into silence as he remembered Rose’s smile, her
laugh and her great beauty. He had always been able to look at her and see
that. But she had rarely laughed in his presence and her smiles for him had
seemed artificial. He realized that now. Only for Jack had her lively spirit
shone through.
“It seems a shame
that Helene and the boys aren’t doing this.”
Cal’s eyes moved in
the direction of the voices he heard. Jack too appeared to be listening.
Coming around the
corner of the church and into the graveyard, Cal saw two people. He had to
squint in the heavy snow to see who they were. Both of them were bundled up in
scarves and coats. He stretched his head forward trying to make them out.
“Emily, you can’t
blame Helene. You know how he treated her in the end. And as for the boys.
Well, it’s better this way. They’ll be better off without him. I hate to say
that about my own cousin.”
“Cousin Phil and
Emily? What are they doing here?” mumbled Cal. “No one died in my family
recently. And who is Helene?”
Cal stared at Jack,
assuming that he would know the answers to all these questions.
Jack just nodded
his head, still watching the two figures.
“You’re just gonna
have to listen, Cal. Listen to what they have to say. Maybe you can make your
choices then.”
“Phillip, why isn’t
he buried in the vault, like everyone else in the family?” asked Emily.
Phillip put his arm
around his wife’s shoulder.
“Because of the
suicide. It was the final way in which Cal made himself an outcast. He took the
coward’s way out. Things would have been alright. But greed got Cal in the end.
He had to always have the most.”
Emily leaned her
head against Phillip.
“Somehow, Phil, I
believe that Cal didn’t start out that way. There has to have been some
goodness and kindness in him at sometime.”
Phillip and Emily
trudged along in the drifting snow, slowly making their way to a headstone in
the far corner of the graveyard.
“My God, of all
things, being defended by that simpering Emily Pierce Hockley. What does she
know about me?” growled Cal.
“Cal, you know I’ve
spent a lot of my time with you tonight, and I really am beginning to think
that you are hopeless. Now can you just keep quiet long enough to hear what
they are saying,” said Jack impatiently.
Cal glared at Jack,
but held his tongue.
“You’re right
Emily. When Cal was little, he wanted so much to be like the rest of us. He had
no mother and Uncle Nathan just didn’t understand how to treat him. Cal didn’t
know how to play like we did. He never knew how to have a good time, because he
was not allowed to.”
They reached the
grave and as Phillip knelt down, he brushed the snow off the stone.
CALEDON HOCKLEY
MARCH 15, 1880–OCTOBER 29,1929
As Emily brushed
away a tear, Cal rubbed his eyes in disbelief as he saw his own name on a
gravestone. The furrows in his forehead deepened as he strained to hear more of
their conversation.
“I’m so lucky,
Phil. We don’t have that much anymore. But I still have you and your love. We
have a wonderful family with our three girls. What more could I ask for.”
“Yes, I agree. Cal
never would have made Helene happy. He married her just to have a hostess. And
the boys, Andrew and Matthew were just excess baggage to Cal.”
Jack’s eyes filled
with tears as he thought of the children that he and Rose should have had
together. Even though he knew that things were meant to be, sometimes the pain
of not being near her all the time was unbearable. He watched Cal to see if at
least this conversation was making an impression on him.
“It was sad with
Rose,” continued Phil. “But in a way, she was the lucky one. Cal would have
slowly killed her."
Jack nodded his
head, as if to himself, knowing indeed that would have been the case.
Cal started
panting, his eyes opening wider at the mention of Rose.
“Killed her?” he
muttered. “Why I just wanted to give her everything and it wasn’t enough. Why
wasn’t it enough. Dawson? What else could I have done?” he questioned, turning
his back on Jack and his cousins.
“Cal, keep quiet,”
warned Jack. “They’re talking again."
“I don’t think
Helene will ever come here. Cal hardly thought of her as a wife anyway. I don’t
mind being a father to the boys though,” said Phillip as he stepped back from
the stone.
“Married, Helene,
boys? What the devil are they talking about Dawson?” raged Cal. “I know, you
probably put them up to all this, you miserable wretch. Just to cause trouble
in my life.”
Jack stood quietly
letting Cal lose his temper.
“What is this? It’s
December 24, 1913. How can you possibly take me to 1929? Who sent you Jack?
Where have you come from?” exploded Cal.
Jack just laid his
hand on Cal’s arm and pointed his head in the direction of Phillip and Emily.
Cal turned to Jack with a puzzled look on his face.
“Over there, Cal.
Pay attention over there.”
“You know Phil, Cal
had everything going for him. He was good looking, well not as good as you of
course,” smiled Emily. “His father had more of the company’s shares, everything
they had was bigger and better, but he was never satisfied. Even beautiful
Helene was never enough for him. I just am grateful for you, for us every day.
Because what we have is based on love, and respect, pleasure and family ties.
And that is what life is all about, isn’t it?”
“There she is going
on with that love and respect business again,” thought Cal. Hadn’t Dawson just
said that same thing to him a little while ago.
Emily put her arm
through Phillip’s and snuggled close to him. He tenderly bent down and kissed
her on the head as they started back through the snow.
“It’s too bad that
Cal didn’t let go of that arrogance, and some of the power sooner. Then maybe
the shock of Black Friday would not have hit him so hard. Maybe he would have
had a chance. You know Emily, I loved Cal for what he could have been. Sad that
it has to be that way. In fact, except for Grannie and his own mother, I don’t
think another person ever loved Cal.”
Emily looked up at
her husband with a tentative smile.
“If that’s the way
you feel, darling, then I don’t mind if we come here from time to time. Maybe
he will still feel that love and devotion. Perhaps he can still know that
people are thinking about him, but in a good way.”
Phil nodded his
head and led his wife away to their waiting automobile.
“Phil, Phil, come
back here. I don’t want your pity. I want, I want……….”
Cal reached out
futilely, trying to touch his cousin’s arm.
“What do you want
Cal?” whispered Jack.
Cal hung his head,
at last defeated.
“I want to try,
Jack. I want to try,” he said almost silently.
Jack took a deep
breath and closed his eyes briefly. Had he at last succeeded? Just now when Cal
had bowed his head and said that he wanted to try, he had felt that his mission
here tonight had might finally have been accomplished.
“Jack, tell me how
to start.”
Cal’s voice no
longer had the tone of the pompous individual Jack he seen earlier. He sounded
serious, almost humble.
“Alright,” said
Jack. “We’ll go back to you study and we’ll start from there. On the way you
have time to think. To think about what you can do to change the way you look
at things. You might be able to alter your future Cal, if you really try.”
Cal raised his head
and studied Jack. He saw for the first time what Rose might have seen in this
young man. His gentle manner and kindly ways. He’d had a zest for life that had
matched Rose’s. Maybe if he had not had Jack taken away, maybe if he had not
shot at them, maybe they would have had a chance together. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
“Jack,” began Cal
somewhat awkwardly.
“Yeah, Cal?” Jack looked
him straight in the eye.
“I’m sorry, Jack.
Maybe if…” Cal stopped. Trying to explain this was too hard right now.
Jack puts his arm
on Cal’s shoulder. His lips were tightly pressed together. “Cal, there are
certain things that we can’t change. That night was one of them. What happened
was out of anyone’s control. I know that Rose and I will be together in the
future. And like tonight, I can look after her from time to time. But you, Cal,
have a lifetime ahead of you. You have the power within you to change some
things. When you said that you were sorry, just now, you have taken the first
step in the right direction.”
Cal glanced at Jack
and saw the sincerity in his eyes. “Jack, can we go back now? So I can start? I
know it’s going to be hard. I don’t even know how well I can succeed. But I
know that I want to at least try.” His voice was faltering as he spoke.
Jack nodded his
head. “You’ll want to cover your eyes again Cal. Remember? We can go back now.
I have no more to show you.”
Cal lifted his arm
and covered his face with his wrist. “I’m ready, Jack. Ready to face a new
life."