Written by Et-Spiritus-Sancti
Based on some situations originated by James Cameron.
The crashing waves were a dim
reminder of times past and Cal once again grunted at his wife’s chosen vacation
spot. She seemed to lack a certain sensitivity to his past and merely brushed
away his reluctance with a methodically placed wave of her hand. Therefore,
here he was, across the country and torn away from the many comforts of his
Pittsburgh mansion to dwell at a touristy beach he could have found in his own
state.
But no, his dear wife said.
"Beaches are different in California, my dear! The sunsets are far more
desirable." Cal grunted again, remembering Helen’s words as he took a drag
from his favored Gallaher’s cigarette. Cal could not recall when he started to
smoke anything besides cigars. He’d always considered the habit somewhat
distasteful. He mused over the thought as he put the cigarette to his lips
again and continued to survey the beach from the wooden walkway, his finely
polished shoes snapping smartly as he went.
If he were forced to admit to
such, Cal would say it certainly was a beautiful landscape. The day was clear
and pleasantly warm. Graying clouds far from them on the horizon promised a
replenishing rain later that night. The sand was pale, soft, and free of
debris. The water was clean and sparkled like a sea of diamonds in the sun. Cal
watched, amused, as his children splashed in the water, making as much ruckus
as children could while still trying to behave and conduct themselves civilly.
Helen was ignoring them, allowing
the nanny to keep the children in check. She instead favored her book, resting
with her feet up in a chaise lounge under a huge, floppy white umbrella;
apparently her attention to the sun and how it was setting was not quite as
gripping as before. For all the woman’s imperfections, he really did adore her.
In his own way, though. He rarely showed her affection and she didn’t require
nor ask for it, but it was understood that he loved her and would take care of
her and the children, as was her promise to perform her wifely duties when
needed.
Cal kept his distance from the
water. Not because he was afraid of it, per se. It was more a fear of ghosts
from the past creeping up on him and dragging him beneath the waves into their
hell—to be rather blunt. He spent little time walking in the sand, watching
with irritation as the granules gathered in the cuffs of his slacks. So he
spent the better part of an hour traversing the piers and walkways that
provided grand views of the beach.
"Quite a day, isn’t
it?" The voice came from beside him and Cal caught the whiff of a cheap
cigarette. He gave the man an annoyed sidelong glance.
"Certainly," Cal
responded only half-heartedly as he took in his appearance. The man before him
was of middle class. Certainly not poor, but he most likely still lived by each
paycheck. He was perhaps an accountant or paper-pusher of some sort. He was
wearing a typical brown tweed jacket with a tie loosely applied under his
collar. His pants had some sand around the cuffs and crusted upon his knees,
suggesting he might have carelessly trounced about in it. A round-edged hat
sitting crooked atop his chestnut head completed his image.
"You here with all the other
tourists for the holiday?" The man tossed his cigarette to the ground and
stomped on it soundly, grinding it into the wood plank.
"Is it that obvious?"
Cal stiffened against a brisk wind that brought with it a stronger scent of the
sea. Memories blurred in his mind of champagne pouring and the glitter of a
gown worn on a sumptuous figure.
The man shrugged with an easy
smile that displayed surprisingly pearly teeth. "You all have that look
about you. Where do you hail from?"
Cal nonchalantly gave himself a
look-over in response to the comment. "East coast. This…" He sighed
and gestured towards the beach. "…was entirely my wife’s idea."
The man smirked and gave a
sizeable nod in understanding. "I know those ideas all too well. That’s
how I ended up in Wisconsin last year, learning how to dogsled."
Cal stared at the man with a
mixed expression of horror and fascination. "Dog sledding?"
"Yeah." He stared off
towards the beach and shook his head ruefully. "And ice fishing. That
woman would see me dead with all her adventures, I swear."
"Did you think to tell her
no, might I ask?"
The man guffawed suddenly enough
for Cal to look apologetically to the passers-by who made a point to stare.
"Tell my little wildfire, no? Hah! She would slap me. Then divorce
me."
As if on cue, a woman’s laugh
erupted from the shore, followed by the shrieks of many children. The man
winced before nodding to the scene. "There they are now."
Cal understood why he called his
wife wildfire. Though still a fair distance away, Cal could see that her hair
was fiery and uninhibited. She played with her several--several meaning
actually five--children amongst the surf. None of her children were lucky
enough to receive her head of hair, but all seemed to possess her spirit.
"She is a feisty one, but
God—I’d do anything for her." Cal found such personal talk inappropriate
and exhibited a slight cough. This triggered no reaction or apology from the
man, so Cal instead straightened his jacket and made himself ready to take his
leave.
"Ah…here she comes."
The man suddenly began to wipe the sand off himself and attempted to be
presentable, as if he was about receive a queen.
Cal watched the woman approach as
the man continued to groom himself by running his hand through his hair several
times. He just began to make out her face when the man stuck his rough-skinned
hand in his view.
"Well, it was certainly a
pleasure, Mister…"
Cal gingerly shook his hand.
"Hockley."
"Hockley, right. I’m
Calvert. John Calvert. Ah…wait. Before you go…" John opened his tweed
jacket and rummaged through its apparently many pockets, muttering as he went
before he pulled out a bent card that he had to wipe sand away from. "If
you’re ever in California again and you get into any legal trouble, I—well, I’m
sure by the looks of you that you have a whole army of hoity-toity lawyers, but
you know, just in case they’re all sick and you need one, go ahead and take my
card." Cal plucked it cautiously from John’s hand. "And new clients
always have a discounted first session." John nodded enthusiastically as
Cal pocketed the offensive paper.
"It’s appreciated, Mr.
Calvert, though I’m sure—"
"Darling!"
It was involuntary. Cal responded
to that voice as quickly as John did. Every muscle in Cal’s body twitched in
alarm, fright, and oddly joy at the ringing sound of that voice. In an instant
he felt ten years younger and powerful—powerful knowing he had the most
beautiful and intelligent woman of stature on the planet. But the high Cal was
experiencing plummeted suddenly and was replaced with an icy, morbid grip on
his heart. The fingers clenched harder about him when she caught his eye. Her
eyes, still as cold and wild as he remembered, pierced his own with a savage,
hard stare. Cal felt his insides turn into an icy soup, as if she were a
tarantula that sank her fangs into him and injected her venom. He would have
crumbled to his knees from shock if he hadn’t been frozen with fear.
John interrupted the trance,
apparently completely ignorant of the recognition. "Here she is, Mr.
Hockley. She’s from the east coast, too. You should swap stories."
Rose, or her eerie doppelganger,
glanced at her husband and gave him a half-hearted smile. "Gather the
children, will you, darling?" John nodded and planted a kiss soundly on
her reddened cheek before tipping his hat to Cal.
"Remember that
discount!" Cal barely gave John a nod of acknowledgement as he kept his
eyes glued to the ghost before him. John walked away, whistling as he went and
lifting his hat to the ladies he passed, completely unaware of the storm he had
just avoided. Meanwhile, a fair minute passed between Cal and Rose, each
glaring at the other with indiscernible expressions.
She was still so beautiful. Age
had merely enhanced her features. She was mature and grand, with part of her
hair pinned back, fiery curls dancing before her expressionless face. Her
clothes were not those made for an American princess. She wore mediocre attire
at best. The material of her skirt rustled quietly as the wind played with it
and the top three buttons of her navy-blue blouse were undone, allowing Cal a
glimpse of her still-porcelain skin. After a long moment, Cal could finally
work the muscles of his mouth to speak.
"You’re…here." Cal took
a step forward, his hand outstretched. This triggered Rose to hastily take a
full step back. Cal realized his error and halted. He just wanted to touch her,
though. Even with only a fingertip. She still glared at him as if he were a mad
dog about to strike.
"Please don’t," she
whispered, her tone pleading and harsh.
Cal couldn’t help but make a
short, incredulous laugh. "Don’t? Don’t what? You would desire me to act
normally when I’m standing here telling myself that you’re dead?"
She chose her words carefully,
finally looking away from him to gaze at her shoes. "Rose DeWitt Bukater
is dead, Cal."
He suddenly felt anger boil
inside of him. "Dead? No. She’s standing in front of me. Disguising
herself as a middle class housewife. Goddammit, Rose! What have you done?"
She sprang to life suddenly and
her head shot up. The glare she confronted him with reminded Cal of an angry
goddess. "You have no right to judge me."
Cal felt his hands clench at her
words. He welcomed that surge of anger he rarely experienced anymore. "Oh,
I don’t? What would you have me do, Rose?"
Her eyes glazed over and she
looked away from him towards the beach. "Leave. Go to your family and
leave me to mine."
"So, that’s how you will
leave it? You won’t even ask of your mother?"
Her cheeks reddened and the storm
in her eyes grew darker. "I hope she is enjoying the sugarplum life you
set up for her."
Cal’s hand twitched into a fist.
She saw it and crossed her arms smugly. "Still having anger issues,
Cal?"
He swallowed and closed the
distance between them. Rose did not budge, but kept her arms against her chest
defensively. Her defiance only fueled his growing fury. "You haven’t a
clue what’s happened in the last twelve years. After the Titanic, and the
trials and all the questioning, your mother showed signs of absolute
insanity." Cal let this sink in, waiting for a response. Rose stuck out
her chin, but did not seem swayed, so he continued. "She repeatedly spoke
of you as if you were alive. Called your name. Became inconsolable, convinced
you were still here. After a year of this, it became clear she could not live
alone with just servants. She often left her room during the night, searching
the neighborhood for you. I found her in her room once with a butter knife,
scraping away at her wrists, blood everywhere."
By now, Rose had begun to hug her
arms to herself, her eyes reddening. Eventually she turned away. "I
searched all over the eastern seaboard, looking for the best psychiatric
institution. Have you ever been in one of those hospitals, Rose? Do you know
what kind of people are there? Your mother is one of them now—"
"Stop it, Cal."
"She can’t bathe or even
feed herself. All she does is mumble things about you—"
The crisp sound of skin against
skin drew curious stares from the people who passed them. Cal felt the tingling
of his cheek and touched it, half-expecting blood. His gaze rested on Rose,
whose face was red and slightly contorted. A single stream of tears flowed down
her cheek and she glanced down at the hand she had used to strike him.
"I’m sorry," she
whispered, rubbing her hand.
He shook his head slightly.
"No, it—I understand." He backed away a few steps, running a hand
through his graying hair. "However, I will never understand why you left
us. I would have settled for you breaking our engagement. But your death
was…unacceptable."
Rose made a movement as if she
were about to speak, then promptly shut her mouth. Cal figured there wasn’t
anymore to say between them. The sun was setting fast, illuminating her
features. He couldn’t look at her a minute more. Turning to the beach, he
observed Helen. She searched for him by craning her neck to see up and down the
shoreline. She must have gotten her fill of the outdoors for the day.
Cal straightened his frame and
motioned to the beach. "I should go back." He gesticulated with his
hand, trying to find the right parting words for such an odd situation.
"Enjoy your life…Rose." She said nothing, so Cal sighed and decided
to take his leave.
"They’re so small."
Cal halted and turned back to
her. Her gaze was past him and settled on the youngest Hockley generation.
He made an exasperated sigh,
simply wanting to be as far away from this ghost as possible. "They’re
three and five. What of it?"
Rose turned back to him, her face
full of confusion. "Your wife. She’s hardly into her twenties. My God,
Cal, it’s been twelve years. Don’t tell me she is your first wife. They are
your first children?"
Cal contemplated simply walking
away from her, pretending this encounter hadn’t happened, and going back to his
family. He also strongly considered finding a blunt object and beating her to
death with it. He almost decided to grasp her to him and kiss her—just once
before she would certainly wriggle out of his arms and punch his teeth in.
Before any of that entered into his true consciousness, Cal decided perhaps the
truth would be sufficient. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and concentrated
on his shoes, lightly nudging the crushed cigarette Calvert had left behind.
"Apparently, Rose, I haven’t
quite mastered the art of forgetting lovers."
Perhaps he had worded the phrase
poorly, for Rose looked as if she might slap him again. "How dare you,
Cal. I loved Jack. I still do. I love John just as much—"
"I’m not talking about them,
Rose." He suddenly got close to her. Close enough to detect her scent—as
beautiful and pure as he remembered. She did not move away. "During any
time in our engagement, did you ever love me?"
She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Oh. As you loved me?"
"You really question my love
for you? I gave you everything! You were treated like a queen."
Her eyes were ablaze once more.
"I was treated like a prize heifer."
Cal gave an incredulous laugh.
"You really want to look at it that way? I didn’t need you, Rose. You came
with nothing but debt. But that didn’t matter to me, because I loved you the
moment I saw you."
Their tempers were now flaring
again and neither paid attention to the people near them. "Oh, really? Did
you love me when you screamed or when you hit me?"
"Ah…I’m sorry about that. I
thought it was rather appropriate at the time, since my fiancée was cavorting
with a homeless finger-painter!"
"Jack was an artist—"
"Damn you, Rose. I don’t
know what I could have done differently to make you happy. For some reason I
can’t suit your taste. I can’t be an ice fisherman or a middle class lawyer.
But I loved you. And when I was finally home, the mere suggestion of finding
another wife was repulsive to me."
She stared at him, her expression
puzzled, yet a light glowed behind her eyes. A glow of understanding, or
perhaps regret. "So…you waited?"
"I did more than that. I
spent thousands of dollars in private investigators from all over the states.
Had your face and a list of prospective names in their hands." Cal was
satisfied with her reaction to everything he said. She looked slightly
mortified. "I searched for years."
He knew he had put Rose in a
position now. She could walk away from him. Or she could actually feel guilty. Cal
guessed by her expression that it was the latter. Her eyes were now glazed
over. She would not cry in front of him, though. No more than a few tears. He
would be shocked if she did.
She only found enough voice to
whisper. "You didn’t think I was dead?"
Cal squared his shoulders and
looked out at the sea. "Sometimes those in mourning are also full of
hope."
Cal watched his family. The
children sat with their mother, the nanny drying them off as they chattered.
Helen was still searching for him, never thinking to look behind her. His
glance shifted to Rose’s family. All five of her children were tromping and
rolling about in the sand with their father, who seemed to have forgotten about
his wife’s orders.
Cal didn’t realize that Rose had
suddenly gotten close to him. He almost pulled away when she took his hand. Her
skin was still so soft. Cal never thought a housewife could ever have soft
hands. He closed his eyes and could clearly picture her, twelve years earlier,
her hand securely in his, everything perfect. Her touch brought back memories
far stronger than any scent could. He could feel the cool smoothness of a ring
as he slid it on her perfect finger. Her splendid lips that he took such
pleasure in kissing. Her body against his when they made love. Cal opened his
eyes and was startled to see her eyes seemingly expressing what he felt.
"I’m not sure if it helps
anything, Cal. But if I hadn’t met Jack, that would be me down there with our
children. I—I did love you."
Cal felt a twisting in his gut.
He wished she hadn’t said that. "Apparently, it just wasn’t enough."
She didn’t take her eyes away
from him. Instead, she squeezed his hand. Cal’s stomach plummeted. It was an
intimate action that he would’ve never thought Rose would remember. A simple
squeeze of his hand was her silent request for a kiss. He did not respond at
first, fearing he misinterpreted the gesture from so long ago. She must have
gauged his reaction and she made a half smile.
"I do believe I just requested
something from you, Mr. Hockley."
Without hesitation, Cal pulled
her to him, losing his hand inside her curly red locks. He wanted to kiss her
passionately and as long as she would allow. However, a pang in his heart
stopped him, inches from her lips, and he suddenly recalled the only woman he
had exchanged vows with. The woman who was searching for him at this very
moment.
His time with Rose had ended long
ago. A piece of him went down with that ship, and it lay with the other dead.
He could not steal this kiss from her. He could not unbury the dead. Yet he
felt her warm breath on him. Smelled her sweet scent. Now the scent of Rose
Calvert. His hand fell from her hair. His hand on the small of her back dropped
away as they still stood close. Shadows of what they might have been. Rose said
nothing. She only stared with as much longing as he felt.
He gently took her hand once
more. "Rose. I am grateful I have finally been able to say good-bye to
you." Cal brought her lily-white hand to his lips and gently rested the
smallest of a kiss upon it.
When her hand was returned to
her, she raised it to his face, caressing his cheek. "Good-bye, Cal,"
she whispered. With a final stroke of his cheek, Rose turned away from him and
began to walk back to her family. Cal watched her the entire time, observing
how she still strolled like a first class woman, her head held high. He watched
her gather her children and take her husband’s hand. And for the second, and
last time in his life, he watched her walk away from him.
She never looked back. And this
time, neither would he.
The End.