A LIFE SO CHANGED
Chapter Eleven

Sarah had heavily weighed the options of forgiving Cal. She knew that he needed to be forgiven and that he didn’t belong on earth. Yes, she had thought that a hundred times over and a hundred times again.

This is so unfair, she thought to herself as she read a book on the couch. She shut her book and stared blankly at the floor below her.

Cal would not leave her mind or her sight. He wouldn’t talk anymore. He would just follow her around–never literally leaving her alone. She thought that it was his form of torture towards her. He was right, though. Just being in the same room with Caledon Hockley was punishment enough.

Like now, even when she was just minding her own business, there was Cal, leaning against the wall, eyes boring into her like daggers.

And there was the unavoidable headache she always got when he was around. She guessed it was because he was shot in the head, and she, just like all spirits she met, felt what he was feeling.

But still, she thought, did you have to shoot yourself in the head? It hurts! Why did you do it in the first place?

"I’ll talk to Rose for you," Sarah said before she realized it had come out of her mouth. She knew the headache was driving her insane, as well as a dead Cal.

Stupid! she thought to herself. Why did you do that?

"So, I see you might be ready to forgive me, then," Cal said.

Sarah didn’t respond. She wasn’t ready to. Hadn’t he been listening to her at all?

"That’s wonderful," he said. She wasn’t sure if he was sarcastic or serious.

She squinted when she looked at Cal. If she squinted hard enough, she didn’t see him anymore. It was just a blank, empty wall, not consumed by the evilness of him.

"What are you looking at?" he asked.

"Absolutely nothing," she said, her eyes still squinting.

*****

"What does he want?" Rose asked, annoyed. "Wasn’t it enough punishment when you were alive to be near you? And now even in death you need to see me. That’s a bit needy, isn’t it?"

"Um…Rose, it’s never good to snap at spirits like that," Sarah said, recalling the argument she had had a few days ago where she let everything out at Cal. "They get more angry."

"Not to mention break things," Cal mused, looking at a mirror.

Sarah shot a look at Cal. She noticed that she really did look like him. "Maybe you should just tell Rose why you’re here."

"You still have it, Rose," Cal said in a semi-scary voice, much like the voice he used when he told Rose that he saw the drawing of her. "You still have le Coeur de la Mer."

"I don’t know what that is," Sarah said.

"You’ve been slacking on your French, haven’t you, Sarah? It means the Heart of the Ocean."

"What’s he saying?" Rose asked, leaning forward from where she was sitting on the couch.

"He says you still have the Heart of the Ocean," Sarah said. "Is that the big necklace with the blue diamond in the middle that you showed me?"

"Yes, I have it," Rose responded. "I don’t see why it matters much to him."

"Why does it matter?" he asked softly. "Why does it matter?" he asked much louder. "Because it’s priceless, that’s why!"

"He says it’s priceless," Sarah said.

"I thought I was supposed to be priceless to you," Rose said, softly yet forcefully.

Oh, had Rose said it right! Sarah watched Cal’s face turn red with anger as she tried to hide a smile.

"You weren’t! You were just a whore! I could have bought you for five dollars!" Cal shouted.

"I’m not saying that!" Sarah said.

"Just bloody say it!" Cal said, appearing in front of her face, scaring Sarah a little.

"He said that you weren’t priceless," Sarah said.

"Well," Rose said, "that’s quite obvious. You cared about that necklace like it was your first-born child. You kept it in you safe, for goodness’ sake. Too bad you gave me it."

"Where is it?" Cal asked. "I want it back."

"You can’t own things in death, Cal," Sarah said, as if she were talking to a child. "You can’t get millions for it like Rose can."

If ghosts could get pale, Cal definitely did. Or maybe it was the fact that his eyes were getting bigger and he looked like he might have a panic attack. Right when he thought he was going to scream, he actually laughed.

"You wouldn’t do that, Rose. You wouldn’t be that stupid," he said.

"He doesn’t think you’ll do it," Sarah said. "He thinks you’ll keep it."

"I don’t think getting millions of dollars for a necklace that someone had to pull every string to get and then just sell it for only my profit is right, although it would pleasure me greatly to see you spited," Rose said.

The room was silent. Sarah exchanged glances between the two of them.

"Good," Cal said. "At least some sense is still in you."

Sarah diverted her gaze to Rose. She didn't repeat what he said.

"I actually think it’s quite silly that you didn’t realize that you had the necklace in your pocket," Rose added. "I mean, it was a heavy thing and of such great value to you. Didn’t you realize that it wasn’t on you?"

"I did! Right after I was running down the stairs trying to shoot at you and the gutter rat! Didn’t you hear me when I said it? I thought I nearly screamed it."

"He says he did. After he was done shooting at you and Jack," Sarah said.

"Oh, yes...I remember now. I suppose it just didn’t register with me that I actually had it until the day I docked in New York," Rose said.

"So, I did see you on the Carpathia!" Cal said. "I knew it!"

"He says that he saw you on the Carpathia," Sarah said.

"I saw you, too. Of course, I wasn’t going to say anything. What kind of a person would I be if I just up and talked to you like nothing had happened those last few days?" Rose asked.

"You would have been a much better person, Rose," Cal said bitterly.

"You know that’s not true," Sarah said. "She would have been worse, and she really would have jumped off the back of the ship. She wouldn’t have done it because the Titanic sank, but she would have done it on the Carpathia if you had found her."

Sarah realized what she had just said. Cal didn’t know that she hadn’t wanted to live anymore when she was engaged to him. And she had just let out one of Rose’s biggest secrets.

"I mean...um...look at the propellers," Sarah said feebly. "She would...look...at the propellers..."

Rose sighed and put her head in her hand. "Sarah..."

"I’m sorry, Rose--"

Cal chuckled. "Of course you didn’t want to see the propellers. You don’t know the first thing about machinery. You’re a woman, for God’s sake!"

"He says that he knew you didn’t want to see the propellers," Sarah said.

"And you obviously don’t know the first thing about steel, Cal!" Rose shot back. "You were so high and mighty when your steel was used for the Titanic, saying it could never sink. And look what happened! It sank to the bottom of the ocean, taking fifteen hundred people with it. You can’t chide me!"

"You--"

"Please, let’s not forget what we were talking about before," Sarah reminded them. "That was my fault. I got us off track. Cal, we’re here for your unfinished business. It was about the Heart of the Ocean. Did you have anything else you needed to say about it?"

"Not about the necklace," he muttered. "I really would like to keep talking about--"

"Perfect!" Sarah said. "Your business is done with Rose." Even though I’m not sure that it is since we talked about a million different things. But if he objects, then we’re back to where we began.

"Then why don’t I see a light?" Cal asked, annoyed.

"Because I haven’t forgiven you yet. I thought I had made that clear."

Sarah knew it was so, so wrong to torture a soul and keep him on earth. The sick part was that she liked seeing him suffer. But Sarah also knew that no one else had to cross over their hellish surrogate father who, well, wasn’t even much of a father.

Chapter Twelve
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