A LIFE SO CHANGED
Chapter Twelve

The summer was now vanishing as fast as it had once come. The last days were dwindling down, trying to last as long as they could. The fall nip was beginning to brush her skin whenever she went out now.

"Are you coming with me tonight?" Rose asked, looking out the window to see a cloudy sky. The once in-full-leaf maple tree was now bare, only the skinny branches scraping against the window.

"I’m deciding against it," Sarah said, sitting on the edge of Rose’s bed, playing with a fray of a half-folded blanket that she was sitting on.

"I don’t blame you," Rose said, trying to put on a bracelet. "It’s so uninviting out there."

"That’s not why I’m staying home."

Rose frowned. "You’re not feeling good?"

"No, I’m fine. I’m just doing some work tonight." She smiled. "I’m crossing him over tonight."

Rose nearly dropped her thin, golden bracelet onto the floor. "You are? You’ve forgiven him?"

She shrugged her bony shoulders. "It’s been nearly three months that he’s been here, and the guilt is sort of getting to me. And I think the resentment has gone down a little."

"Do you...do you need me to be here?"

Sarah shook her head. "No. I’ll be fine. He can’t hurt me. He should be out of here way before you get home tonight."

"It’s great that you’re doing this, Sarah. Really." She looked into Sarah’s chocolate brown eyes. "I don’t know how many people have your courage."

She laughed. "So serious, Rose."

A small smile crept onto Rose’s face as she focused on putting her bracelet on.

"What do you want me to tell Joey tonight?" Rose asked. "I mean, what’s going to be your excuse for not being there?"

"He knows," she replied. "I told him a while back. You can tell him the truth."

"Since when do you tell people that you’re different?"

"Since now, I guess."

*****

As soon as Sarah shut the front door at 5:40 PM that evening behind Rose, she could feel herself start to shake. She was so nervous, she felt like she was going to throw up. She started breaking out in a cold sweat. Sarah took a deep breath and sent a prayer to make sure everything went fine this evening.

"Cal?" she called out. "Cal, I need to talk to you."

She didn’t see him. She walked to the couch and sat down, nervously crossing her legs. "Cal, this is important!"

He appeared about three feet in front of her. She noticed that his brown eyes were blank and emotionless. He was spent, and so was she. Having him around her constantly was making her exhausted. She was forgiving him partly because she didn’t want to feel like she could sleep for days afterwards.

Silence seemed to stretch on for hours between them. Sarah had her eyes locked with his. She wasn’t going to back down now, even though she wanted to break his gaze.

"I forgive you," she said, breaking the silence.

Cal smiled. Well, if he really could smile. It was what he looked like he was doing.

"I forgive you for not being there," Sarah said. "I forgive you for being a bad father and making me be nothing but a puppet." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nervously clasped her fingers together, lacing them. She looked at the floor. Now she felt even sicker than before.

"I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I really do forgive you. I like to believe that everyone is a good person. Some just have a harder time showing it than others. And, yes, you did show it. At times. Just not enough to make it memorable." She played with the necklace that he had given her the day before he died. She wondered why she still kept it around. Probably for memory’s sake.

There was another long silence between them. She still held his gaze.

"Sarah, I want you to know that you’re so brave," he said. "I want you to know that I will always love you, even though my actions seemed like I didn’t. But I did...I love you, Sarah."

Sarah wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not. If he loved her so much, why did he do it? She knew they would be going around in circles if she asked that.

"I’m ready to let go of you," she said honestly. "I’m still going to love Rose like she was my own mother. She takes great care of me." Sarah caught herself right before she was getting vulnerable. "And Joey...I don’t care what you say about him. I love him. And I’m sorry if he’s not your idea of someone you want me to be with because he’s not rich or because he’s Jack’s brother. But you can’t control me anymore."

Sarah felt pleased with herself. Everything that she needed to say was out in the open. It was his choice now to react or to go.

Cal’s brown eyes widened as he looked at something by the stairs. "What is that?" he asked softly.

She turned around and saw nothing, only a painting of a sailboat. But she had a feeling that he wasn’t finally noticing that painting.

"It’s so bright and beautiful..." He looked at Sarah. "Thank you, sweetpea. Thank you so much."

Being thanked by Cal was something new to her. She smiled and nodded. "You’re welcome."

"There’s my grandfather. Haven’t seen him in ten years..." He walked towards the invisible light and disappeared. The room felt lighter, much happier now. Sarah smiled and saw that it was just starting to rain out. She grabbed her coat anyway and ran to Richard’s.

By the time she got to the cabaret, her hair was as wet as when she got out of a bath. Her coat was wet, and she was all around freezing. She tensed her muscles to keep them from shaking.

"Excuse me," she said, passing a man in the back. She saw that Joey was already sitting at a table in the back. Could it really have been that long that she was working with Cal to get him crossed over? No, that was impossible. She had spent what seemed like ten minutes.

She sat across from him, still smiling, even though she let herself start to shiver. She couldn’t find any words to say. It seemed like she couldn’t even talk.

"Sarah?" Joey asked. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, her brown eyes lighting up.

"You look..." He frowned. "Kind of giddy."

"I did it." She smiled wider. "He’s gone."

He looked even more confused than before. "Who’s gone?"

"Cal. I crossed him over."

Joey’s piercing blue eyes became wide. "No way–are you serious?"

She nodded. "That’s why I didn’t come here tonight. I was so busy getting him over to where he belongs."

Joey took one of her cold hands into his. Their eyes locked for what seemed like a lifetime before he finally spoke up. "I have never been more proud of you than right now," he said.

She started to feel herself blush again. "Please don’t take on the father figure roll. You’re beginning to sound a bit like one."

He broke into a smile. "Can’t I just be proud of you?"

She kissed him on the lips. "I suppose."

Chapter Thirteen
Stories