Rose felt her son’s body writhe. He was dreaming. He lay beside her in bed, the exact spot where Jack had lay beside her night after night since they had moved to Santa Monica. Little William whimpered and Rose touched his hand gently before running her fingers through his blond hair. She knew he was dreaming, just like he did most nights, although while most little boys dreamed of monsters or ghosts, her son dreamed of his father not returning.
“Daddy! Daddy!” his voice called out loudly.
Rose felt tears fall from her eyes, wanting the dreams to stop. “William! Wake up, darling.” Rose gently shook him, feeling his tiny hand grip hers.
“Daddy!” he called. Rose shook him harder. His eyes opened, tears visible even in the dark. He fought for breath and Rose pulled him towards her, feeling his body shake violently.
“Don’t worry, Will. Daddy is all right and Mommy is right here. She won’t leave you ever.” She hugged him to her and he sobbed in her arms.
“I want Daddy to be here.” His words were muffled as he cried into her nightgown.
“So do I, darling. He will be here soon. Remember, he’s a hero,” Rose told him softly.
The bedroom door clicked open a little and Rose jumped, seeing her mother come into the room. Williams screams must have awakened her. Silently, she came to sit on the bed and watched as Rose rocked her three-year-old son to sleep in her arms, just like she had when he was a tiny baby. His sobs seem to subside after a while, but he still shook.
“Come Josephine in my flying machine, going up she goes, up she goes…” Rose sang softly, the same song her mother had hummed him to sleep with during their stay in Philadelphia. “Balance yourself like a bird on a beam, in the air she goes, there she goes…”
Ruth felt tears in her own eyes, seeing her daughter struggle to calm her son. There was little wonder she was so tired. She was glad she had come to Santa Monica. She would help out in any way she could, even though she’d never done a day’s work in her life and housework had always been left to the maids.
Moments later, William was snoring gently. Rose moved him onto the side of the bed where Jack slept, It seemed to bring Will comfort. Ruth stood and curled her finger, indicating to Rose to leave the room and come into the kitchen. Carefully, she tiptoed out of the room, making sure that Will was definitely asleep. Once in the kitchen, she left the door slightly ajar in case Will stirred.
In the bright light of the kitchen, Ruth saw just how exhausted Rose was. She looked at the clock. It was after three AM.
“Oh, Mother…” Rose sighed. She felt the familiar stab at her heart. Seeing her son cry out for Jack every night was killing her.
“Rose, you need to sleep,” Ruth told her. “You look five years older than you are.” Ruth was honest with her daughter. “I know it’s hard because of the war, and you’re raising William alone, but remember that help is available. I am here now.”
Rose looked at the floor, feeling like a child. She could barely keep her eyes open. “I know that. But I can’t sleep thinking about Jack. He hasn’t written yet and he has been in Europe over a week. Maria said that he may not be settled yet, but surely he would be allowed to write.” Rose broke into tears. She sat at the table and covered her face with her hands.
“Rose…” Ruth sat beside her, putting her hand on her shoulder. “He will write.”
“But what if something has happened already? If the ship sank, or he was shot…”
“Rose!” Ruth spoke sharply. “Stop doing this to yourself. Stop acting like this. You have to remain positive for the sake of yourself and your son.”
Rose sighed heavily, feeling tiredness overcome her. “I know, but it’s so hard.”
Ruth rubbed her daughter’s back before stroking her hair. “You need a break, to not think about the war. We should take William somewhere tomorrow, somewhere to take his mind off Jack and the war.”
Rose bit her lip, thinking. She hadn’t thought of that. All she wanted to do was concentrate on getting through every day without Jack. “Maybe. We could take him to the beach.”
Ruth hadn’t been to the beach herself since she was a child. The thought of having her dress covered in sand wasn’t too appealing, but she knew that she would endure it for her daughter’s sake. “Yes.”
“Jack and I haven’t taken William to the beach. We talked about doing so many things when we came here to Santa Monica. We wanted to ride the roller coaster, drink beer, ride horses on the beach, and then when Will was born we were going to take him to the beach and to see the Punch and Judy show.” Rose sighed. They had become so involved with family life that they had forgotten everything they had once planned to do.
“Well, when Jack returns, you can do everything you wanted to do. For now, though, we need to concentrate on Will.”
Rose nodded, wiping away her tears. “I’m so tired.” She sniffed, rubbing her eyes, feeling herself almost falling asleep right there and then.
“Go sleep in the room you put up for me. I will sleep in your room.”
“Oh, no. Will doesn’t like waking up to find me gone. Besides, Mother, how could you sleep with a child when you complained about the size of the spare bed?” Rose asked.
Ruth shook her head before smiling and touching her daughter’s face. “Because it’s for you, and you need to sleep to regain strength. Remember, I am a mother myself, believe it or not. I know how to care for a child. Now, go sleep.”
Two Weeks Later
My Darling Rose,
I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write. I arrived here in France on Thursday last week. The beautiful countryside is no more. The entire country seems to be full of trenches, mud, and places that have been bombed. The place where we met is completely ruined and I think it will take a long time for the country to recover from the devastation. I have written to Fabrizio to tell him of my whereabouts and hope we come across each other. I feel empty without you. Not waking up to you every day makes me feel as though I have a bullet through my heart. Give all of my love to William and tell him how much I love him. I do hope you are all right. Remember that I love you. Hopefully I will return soon.
All My Love,
Jack
Rose sighed with relief. She felt happy now that she had finally received a letter from Jack. Although he was halfway across the globe, she knew he was all right. After all of the weeks of worry, the letter she was waiting for had finally arrived.
Setting the folded letter on the kitchen table, she looked at it several times, glad to have received it. Rose hoped that Jack could contact Fabrizio. Maybe they would come across each other in France. It would be nice for them to be together despite all of the pain that surrounded them.
A knock sounded at the door, disturbing Rose from her thoughts of Jack. Straightening her dress, she went to answer it, seeing Maria.
“Come on in.” Rose beamed, missing the look on Maria’s face. “Would you like some tea?” she asked, walking to the stove to grab the kettle so she could fill it up, but Maria didn’t reply. She just stood in the doorway. Rose frowned. Maria was always so upbeat and cheery. “Maria…what’s wrong?”
Lifting her eyes from the carpet felt like she was lifting a house. It was hard to even see straight. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out except a mumble.
“Maria?”
Maria managed to lift her eyes to meet Rose’s and knew that she would have to speak the words, making them a reality. “Fabrizio…he’s dead.”
Rose fell silent for a moment, not realizing that she had been holding her breath until she took a sharp intake. Dead? He couldn’t be dead. He’d been gone only two months. “No…Maria…”
Maria nodded numbly. She hadn’t cried, hadn’t told the children, and had only read the letter once, the same letter that she held crumpled in her hand. She held it out to Rose to read.
The letter explained he had been in the path of a bomb on the morning of Sunday, June twelfth, and had been killed instantly. Although his body had been almost too badly mutilated to be recognized, they had found his wedding ring engraved with his and Maria’s names.
“I have written to Fabrizio’s mother in Florence. I hope the letter reaches her soon.”
Rose looked up from the letter to Maria, tears in her eyes. Jack would be crushed, although Maria appeared to not be so affected. The shock was so bad it hadn’t hit her yet. “Maria, darling, sit down.”
“I can’t. I have to go tell the children,” she said simply, turning and leaving the house. The look on her face was haunting. It was as though she was dreaming and needed to wake up.
Rose felt tears run down her face. Memories of their time in Paris flashed through her mind—working at the chicken factory with him, how much he had helped her, Fabrizio and Maria coming to her wedding, the birth of the twins.
Rose heard tiny footsteps coming from the bedroom and knew Will had awakened. Quickly, she wiped her eyes and attempted to appear normal as her son came from the bedroom dressed in his pajamas. He smiled a sweet smile at her. She felt tears coming again, but she didn’t want to scare Will in any way.
“Come here, darling.” She held her arms out to him and he came to her. She picked him up just as she had when he was a baby and stroked his hair softly. She couldn’t tell him about Fabrizio. It would scare him even more. She had to shield his innocent eyes more than ever now. She would write to Jack to inform him of Fabri’s death. It would be something that would kill him, but hopefully he would remain safe. William couldn’t grow up without a father.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?” he asked, his face so innocent.
Rose smiled and picked up the letter from Jack. “Daddy wrote today. He wants you to know how much he loves you,” Rose told him.
William looked at the letter and smiled at Rose. “So, is he coming home to see us?”
Rose sighed a little, not knowing what to say. “Very soon, darling. Very soon.”
William rested against Rose and put his arms around her neck tightly. It was as though he needed to feel more comfort from his mother now that Jack was away. “I miss Daddy.”
Holding her son tighter, she kissed his face. “I know, darling, and so do I. He will be home soon, I promise, but until then, how about we write a letter to him? Tell him all the things that we have been getting up to.” Rose smiled. The idea seemed to perk William up. He smiled widely, the same smile that he had inherited from his father.