Jack’s hands shook violently as he read Rose’s letter over and over again. He lay in the trenches which he had called home for the last two months. Several sandbags lined the sides of the trenches and on the lip of the trench there were more sandbags and barbed wire. Troops around him slept. Some ate, some prayed or sang, and others simply sat and cried. Jack didn’t feel any emotion at all. His best friend had been killed out here, his Fabrizio.
My Darling Jack,
This letter is something that I wish I wasn’t writing, something that is killing me as I put this pen to paper. Early on Sunday, June 12, Fabrizio died in action. According to the letter Maria received, he was in the path of a bomb. He was recognized by the wedding ring he wore, which was engraved with his and Maria’s names. Maria has written to Fabrizio’s mother, who has asked her to hold the funeral in Italy and to move there to spend some time with his family. She will leave in three days. She hasn’t been the same since the news reached us. The children are understandably heartbroken, but I haven’t told William yet. He is still affected by your departure. I wouldn’t dare tell him about Fabri.
We both miss you. Our son cries for you most nights, although I tell him about the hero you are. Come home to us soon, darling. Life without you is unbearable, and now that Maria is leaving Santa Monica, it will just be William and me left.
I love you, Jack. Always.
Love,
Rose
A cry came from Jack, a cry of pain that he hadn’t felt since his father’s death some years ago. He felt his heart beat faster and his chest tightened.
He felt like ripping the heads off the people who had decided that this war was a good idea. He had only been at war for two months. It could last for many more months, many more years. The nearness of death, the fear of it and smell of it, the horrific sight of shattered bodies, the screams of a friend cut in half and the constant shelling combined was sure to make many men insane, either at this time or later in life.
Jack stood up in the trench he was laid in. The bottom was muddy and he almost sank into it as he attempted to walk through it. The rain filled up the trench and water seeped in through the sides, leaving the troops up to their knees in thick, stinking mud that made any movement difficult. There was no sanitation and rats were a problem. Diseases were rife, such as dysentery and trenchfoot.
Jack often wondered if he would die here without seeing his beloved Rose and their beautiful son again. He had to carry on for however long it took. He had to fight for the sake of his family. He refused to give up. Like on the Carpathia, when he hadn’t seen Rose’s name on the list, he hadn’t given up because he knew he had to find her and continue their life together. He had to stay alive, now more than ever. He couldn’t leave Rose a widow and their son fatherless.
*****
Kissing the tops of the heads of Jacob and Amelia, Rose clutched William to her chest as they prepared to say good-bye to Maria and the twins, who heading off to Italy. Maria touched William’s face. He smiled at her before waving. The small wave was enough to cause Maria to cry, the reality of the past few week’s events sinking in.
“Oh, God, Maria. I wish you didn’t have to go.”
Rose felt her heart break for her friend, but understood her reason for leaving. Maria had no family in America, and her own mother had died when she was young, so Fabrizio’s family was the only close kin she had to lean on.
Rose had decided that if anything happened to Jack, she would move to Philadelphia to be nearer to her mother, but she prayed that Jack would be home soon.
“I have to, Rose.” Maria watched as her train pulled into the station, the same platform that they had stood on four years before as they had arrived in Santa Monica in search of a new life. It had been a good one until now.
“I hope you have a safe journey. Be careful, please, and write when you arrive.” Rose held Maria’s hand.
Maria quickly pulled Rose into a hug before kissing William just once. “Of course I will. I want to thank you for everything, Rose. What good friends you and Jack have been to us. When you write to Jack, please give my love to him. Tell him I shall pray for his safety every night. I don’t want you to wind up a widow, too.” Maria let go of Rose’s hand and grabbed her suitcase. “Come on, you two!” she called to the twins, who followed her.
William buried his head in his mother’s hair, waving numbly to the children he had grown up with. “Why do they have to go away?” he asked, sadness apparent in his voice. He didn’t fully understand why the children had to go so far away.
Rose held Will tightly with both arms, glad to not have to experience what Maria had gone through. “They just do, darling. We will visit them one day.”
Rose watched as they boarded the train. William cringed at the sound of the whistle, covering his ears with both hands. The reality of everything seemed to be sinking in now. Jack was in France, fighting, and Maria had taken the children away. All Rose had left now was her own mother.
Dear Rose,
I cannot believe that Fabri is gone. Every day has been almost a dream since I received the news. I keep thinking of our time in France when we met, over six years ago. How beautiful the country was, how careless and young we were as we fell in love and, of course, all of the great times Fabrizio and I had together. Now, it’s all gone.
The damned war seems to be getting worse. Every day seems longer than the last. I swear if I don’t see you soon, then I will go insane. I miss you so much. I can’t believe I am missing out on my son’s childhood. Give my love to William. Tell him I love him more than words can say and give him a kiss.
All My Love,
Jack