DUST IN THE WIND
Chapter Twenty-Five
The psychiatrist’s office was
large and polished, giving it a clean, sterilized air. Rose couldn’t help but
be intimidated as she stepped into the office and took a seat in front of the
desk. She waited for almost an hour for the doctor to arrive and tell her what
she needed to know about her husband.
"Mrs. Dawson?" Dr.
Connelly was tall, with laughing brown eyes and salt and pepper hair. His smile
was bright and genuine. His voice soft and gentle, putting Rose at ease. It was
going to be very easy to talk to him.
She took a deep breath before
speaking. "The letter I got a week ago told me to see you about my
husband’s mental condition. I’m supposed to consult with you about how to act
around him tomorrow when he returns. Doctor…what’s wrong with Jack? Just how
much has this war affected him?"
The man took a deep breath,
thinking of how unfair all of this was. He had spoken with Private Dawson and
was a bit taken aback about how young he was. A man with decades ahead of him,
and now here Connelly was again. Talking to the young private’s young wife.
They were too young for the traumas of war.
"Yes. Mrs. Dawson…your
husband has been through a very traumatizing experience. He’s been tortured,
beaten….he’s not going to be the same man he was when he left for the war. He’s
a former POW now. He’s been traumatized…maybe beyond repair."
Rose glared at the floor. She was
angry. Angry at the government for herself and for Jack. Especially for Jack.
They were supposed to protect him! Not let him fall into enemy hands. Not let
him get tortured and beaten. Rose closed her eyes, trying to get a hold on her
anger. She wanted to rant and rail at the poor man before her. Tell him how
irresponsible they all were. But when she looked into his eyes and saw warm
sympathy and regret there…she couldn’t. All she could do was sit back and find
out what she needed to do to help her husband through his nightmares and
memories.
"How do I help Jack? What do
I do?"
The psychiatrist sadly smiled
with relief. He had thought that the young Mrs. Dawson would tell him off about
what happened. She wouldn’t have been the first and wouldn’t have been the
last. But she didn’t tell him off. Instead, she wanted to concentrate on the
care of her husband.
"Make no sudden movements or
noises. Give him time and space. Be there to listen, and take him to see a
psychiatrist two times a week."
"Have you seen Jack, Dr.
Connelly?"
The doctor nodded.
"Physically, he seems fine. But battle scars run deep. Even deeper if
you’ve been a prisoner. Jack may never be the same. Are you prepared for
that?"
Rose looked at the ground,
wanting to cry for the days of innocence and sunshine that they had lost
forever. Those first years of her marriage were gone forever. Now it was time
to see just how strong her marriage truly was.
The Next Day
Rose stood in the train station,
awaiting Jack’s arrival. She was alone. The doctor thought it best if it was
just her there to greet Jack. The station was crowded enough already, and
Jack’s nerves were probably on end.
She rubbed her shoulders
nervously. This was the first time in over a year that she would set eyes on
Jack. How much would have changed between them? How much would remain the same?
She stared through the crowd,
hoping to catch a glimpse of him. She couldn’t wait to see him…to feel him
again. Sighing, she turned around to find herself staring into the bluest, most
sad and haunted blue eyes she’d ever seen. She stepped back, letting her
thirsty eyes drink him in. He was home. The most beautiful man with the light
eyes and hair made of sunshine and silk.
"Jack!" Her arms went
around him, pulling him close. Sobs of joy shook her body as his arms encircled
her waist, pulling her close. He clung to her as if she was a life preserver in
his ocean of despair.
She couldn’t keep her hands off
of him. She ran her hands over his arms, back, neck, and through his hair. She
pulled away to touch his face, neck, and chest, not able to believe that it was
really him. That he was back. He pulled her back to him and crushed her lips
with his own. It was like they couldn’t get enough of one another. Kiss upon
kiss. Arms tightly wrapped around each other, holding on for dear life.
"Jack, you’re home."
Rose moved her face away from his lips so they could talk. She touched his lips
once more, and he kissed her fingers. "We’ve missed you so much."
"We?" Jack spoke for
the first time. The most beautiful sound to Rose’s ears.
"Me and Josephine, Sam and
George. We’ve all missed you." Tears rolled from her eyes as she
remembered the past year and a half without Jack. The midnight crying. The
aching in her heart.
"Josephine…I brought her
something." Jack looked towards the exit. "Can I see her?"
Rose smiled, relieved that Jack’s
love for his little girl was fully intact. "Let’s go home, Jack." She
gently took his hand, and together, they went home to their waiting family.
*****
"Daddy!" Josephine ran
to her father as Jack and Rose entered the house. Her blue eyes sparkled with
joy as she flew into her father’s arms. She squealed with delight as Jack
lifted her off the ground. "Where were you?"
"Away. But I brought you a
gift. Do you want to see her?"
The little girl eagerly nodded as
Jack carried her to the couch and kept her in his arms.
"Rose, my bag?" He
looked up at Rose, who watched the scene with tears in her eyes. So far, it
looked like he wasn’t affected by his experience in Europe. Only when she
looked into his eyes did she see the truth…the real Jack under this happy
façade.
"Here it is." She took
the duffel bag to her husband and watched as he pulled out a beautiful blonde
doll for their daughter. Rose sighed happily, remembering a doll just like it
given to her by her own father when she was a girl.
"Her name is Francine,"
Jack explained. "She wanted a new home, and I immediately thought of a
certain little girl who would love and take care of her."
"Oh, Daddy! Thank you! I
love you!" Josephine threw her arms around Jack.
"Come Josephine. It’s nap
time." Rose reached for the little girl, but Jack stood up, Josephine
still in his arms.
"I can take her upstairs. If
you don’t mind."
"Are you sure?" Rose
asked, knowing that George and Sam looked forward to spending time with him.
"Positive. Besides, I have a
lot of time to make up for."
"Well…okay." Rose felt
Sam and George’s eyes on her. Jack had yet to even speak to them.
As soon as Jack and Josephine
were out of earshot, Rose was bombarded with questions.
"What’s wrong with
him?" Sam asked.
"He has yet to say anything
to us," George complained.
"Well, he does seem pretty
normal."
"His eyes…they didn’t look
too good."
"Stop it!" Rose
interrupted, a headache quickly forming. "It’s been a very stressful year
for Jack. I’m sure that he’ll be more receptive once he’s had a chance to rest.
Just be patient." She headed upstairs and found Jack in Josephine’s room.
Josephine was curled up in Jack’s lap. Her eyes were closed as he sang to her.
"Come Josephine in my
flying machine and it’s up she goes. Up she goes. Up. Up. To the sky dear. Oh
my, the moon is on fire. Come Josephine in my flying machine, and it’s up and
up, good-bye."
Josephine giggled and hugged Jack
even tighter. "Daddy, promise to never go away again."
"I promise, sweetie."
He kissed the top of her head.
"Mommy’s sad. Will you make
her happy again?"
Jack frowned. "Why do you
say that Mommy’s sad?"
"Because she cries when she
thinks I’m not looking. Especially at night. Will you make her happy
again?"
Rose clamped her hand over her
mouth, suppressing a sob. She had no idea that Josephine knew of her nightly
cries of loneliness and despair. Her need for Jack eating her up.
"I’ll try my best,
Josie," Jack reassured her, and carried the little girl to her bed and
tucked her in.
Carefully, Rose made her way back
to their room. She lay down, her back facing the door. She didn’t want Jack to
know that she had heard their conversation. She didn’t want him to comfort her
this time. This time she wanted to be the one comforting him.
His soft footsteps entered the
room, and cool lips brushed her forehead. She turned around and looked at him,
noticing for the first time just how thin he really was and that his skin was
an unhealthy pale.
"Jack." She held out
her arms for him to come to her.
"Josephine told me you’ve
been crying." He sat on the bed and twirled one of her red curls around
his finger.
"Only because you were
gone." Rose sighed, taking his hand in hers.
A tear leapt from his eye as he
thought of just how much he had truly missed Rose. She reached up and tenderly
wiped the tear away.
"I’m here for you,
Jack," she whispered, pulling him down to lay next to her. Comforting arms
wrapped around his tense body.
"I know." He closed his
eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair. Yes, he knew she was there for
him and he knew that she wanted him to talk to her. But he couldn’t. Not right
then. Not his first day back. All he wanted to do was get lost in her. Forget
about the darkness threatening to engulf his soul. Trying to ignore the sounds
of war and captivity running trough his head. For just one night he wanted to
return to the optimistic young man he had once been. To the life he had once
known before the war. "Rose…let me hold you tonight. We’ll talk
tomorrow."
"Okay." Rose pushed
back her impatience. She needed to know what had happened to him. To get rid of
these pictures in her head. But that could wait. Tonight was about Jack and
what he needed, and right now, he needed to be held.
But they did more than hold each
other. They made passionate love, mostly oblivious to the family waiting
downstairs. Only Jack and Rose were important. No one else.
*****
That night, Rose lay next to a
sleeping Jack, examining the scars and bruises on his body. She felt tears in
her eyes as she touched a very prominent scar on his left shoulder.
"Oh, Jack…what did they do
to you?"
"Rose." His eyes popped
open, full of alertness and fear. It was another nightmare. They had been
plaguing him ever since his rescue. He had hoped they would disappear once he
got home. But it looked like they were with him for good.
"Shh. I’m right here."
She touched h is face, wiping away the sweat and tears. "I’m here and
you’re home. You’re safe."
"It was…"
"I know." She kissed
his trembling lips, wanting to kiss away the effects of the nightmare.
"Come lay back down. You need to rest."
He wanted to tell her that for
him there was no rest to be had. But he didn’t want to worry her. But she did
worry, and her worries were going to grow before it was all over and done with.