DUST IN THE WIND
Chapter Twenty-Six
Two Weeks Later
Everything was on an even keel
again for the Dawson family. Rose had quit her job at the factory and Jack had
gone back. He had yet to talk about his time overseas. He just went about the
days as if nothing had ever happened. It was only at night when Jack even
showed signs that things weren’t right. Rose would lay awake, listening to him
talk in his sleep. She cried every time she heard him beg for someone to stop
hurting him.
I hate to talk like this
I hate to act as if there's something wrong
But I can't say I have this dream at night almost every night
I've been dreaming it forever
It's easy to remember, it's always cold always day always here
Always say I'm all right I'll be okay
If I can keep myself awake (keep myself awake...)
At the moment, Rose lay awake,
listening to him beg once again. But this time, it was worse. He was tossing,
turning, struggling with some invisible enemy. Rose was afraid that he’d hurt
himself if he didn’t wake up soon. Carefully, she shook his shoulder, telling
him to wake up. He bolted upright without delay. His blue eyes were wide and
alert. Rose stroked his hair, whispering comforting words into his ear.
"Rose." He wrapped
trembling arms around her, pulling her as close as possible.
"Shh, Jack. It’s okay.
You’re home now." She rubbed his back, wanting to calm his racing
heartbeat. "No one can hurt you anymore. You’re home."
I get up early and look around
me
And can't help but wonder what you mean
But I'm sleeping I'm so deep in
So much more real to me closer than reality
It's always cold always day always here
Always say I'm all right I'll be okay
If I can keep myself awake (keep myself awake...)
He pulled away and wiped away the
sweat from his forehead. He had to get his bearings. It was just a dream. He
was home now. Safe and sound.
"Jack…tell me about what
happened."
He frowned at Rose, not liking
what she was asking him to do. He shook his head, his face void of emotion.
"No, Rose. No. I can’t."
"Jack, it’ll help you get
over what happened."
"I don’t want to relive it
again, Rose."
"But Jack…"
I get up early I look around
me
I'm buying coffee by the pound
But I'm sleeping so deep in it.
"I said no! Rose, I’m not
going to discuss this with you any longer!"
"Well, then, talk to a
professional, since you won’t talk to me! Talk to someone!" Rose rubbed
his shoulders, forgiving him for his outburst. She knew that the war was a sore
point for him. "I just want you to be happy, Jack. I want your nightmares
to end so you can rest again. God, I love you so much…it’s overwhelming at
times." A tear fell from her eye.
Jack instantly regretted the
outburst. None of this was her fault. She hadn’t made him go to war. She didn’t
hold him captive and torture him until he was rescued. She was just worried
about him. That was all. "Rose, I’m fine. I’m all right. Sure, I have
nightmares. I just got back from going to war. So of course I’m going to have
some bad dreams. It’s perfectly normal."
"But Jack…"
"I’m fine." He knew
just how to make her forget about his nightmares. How to preoccupy her for at
least a couple of hours. The ol’ Dawson charm always worked with Rose. Soon,
his nightmares would be the last thing on her mind.
"Jack…no…we need to
talk." Rose groaned in reluctant pleasure as his kisses became more
aggressive.
"About what?" he asked,
removing his nightshirt, letting her hands fall on his bare skin.
"Uh…I…I don’t know."
Rose gave in, cursing herself for being so susceptible to Jack. As soon as her
hands touched his chest, she knew that she was a goner.
I can't keep myself awake
(keep myself awake...)
*****
That afternoon, Rose was heading
for the kitchen when she saw Jack’s portfolio laying on the couch. She had been
pleased when Jack took up his drawing again. Maybe he hadn’t changed all that
much, after all. Maybe Jack’s carefree spirit had made it through his ordeal
intact.
Curious about what he’d been
working on for the past few weeks, Rose picked up the portfolio and gasped in
horror at what she saw. Drawings of death and torture. Dark sounds of war. Men
and parts of men strewn everywhere over a battlefield.
"Rose?" George entered
the room, his face wrinkled in concern. "What’s wrong?"
"Look." She held the
portfolio out to Jack’s cousin, whose eyes grew wide with shock.
"Jack did this?"
Rose nodded grimly. It was indeed
worse then she had originally thought. The Jack she knew would never have drawn
anything like this. The Jack she knew sketched beauty and life. Not ugliness
and death. Something had to be done. Someone needed to talk with Jack. Someone
who was not susceptible to his charms, so he couldn’t use seduction as a way to
get out of talking about his problems. "George…will you talk to Jack for
me? Get him to seek professional help?"
"Why can’t you do it?"
Rose blushed, remembering that
very morning. How all thoughts of talking had fled her mind when her hands met
Jack’s bare skin. Or how he smelled so good. Something that was purely Jack.
Sweet and wonderful. "I--I try…but I always forget."
George laughed, getting the gist
of what Rose was saying. "Ah…a recurring victim of that ol’ Dawson charm,
eh? Okay, Rose. I’ll talk to Jack. I’ll get him to go get help."
Rose smiled, relief running
through her. Maybe George could get through to him. She threw her arms around
his neck. "Thank you, George. This means so much to me."
*****
George found Jack in town, just
walking down the street, his eyes to the ground. He frowned as he saw Jack wipe
his eyes, as if he was wiping away freshly fallen tears. Something was
definitely going on with his cousin. Something was wrong.
Slowly, he made his approach.
George walked up behind Jack and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was taken by
surprise when Jack’s fist almost made contact with his nose. George stepped
back as fearful blue eyes began to fill with recognition.
"George?"
"Man, you’re jumpy."
George laughed it off.
"You shouldn’t sneak up on
people like that."
"You need to calm
down." George fell into step beside his cousin. "So. Where are you
going?"
"Nowhere." Jack
shrugged. "I’m just walking around town."
"Oh." George nodded,
his own misgivings about Jack’s mental health beginning to grow. "Rose is
worried about you, Jack."
"Rose and I are fine. In
fact, this morning…"
"You used the Dawson charm
on her. But it won’t work on me, Jack. Never try to charm a charmer. It never
works."
"I’m fine. Sure, I have a
few nightmares, but who wouldn’t? There’s no need for you or Rose to
worry."
"Oh, really? Well, then,
explain…" George was cut off by the sound of a backfiring car and Jack
pushing him to the ground.
George looked at his cousin, who
was also on the ground in surprise and irritation. "What did you do that
for?"
Jack didn’t answer. He was back
in Europe. Crouched down in a ditch as bullets whizzed by. He looked at George,
fear and determination in his eyes. "Stay down or they’ll hit you."
"Who’ll hit me, Jack?"
George frowned. "Come on. Stop fooling around. Let’s go home."
Home? How could they go home?
They were in the middle of a war here. They couldn’t just get up and go home!
"Are you crazy? They’re shooting at us, and home’s an ocean away!"
George’s frown deepened as he
finally realized what was happening. Jack was flashing back to the war. Of
course! It made perfect sense! Grabbing hold of Jack’s arms, George knew what
he had to do. He had to make his cousin see that it wasn’t real. That he was no
longer in war-torn Europe. He was home. With Rose and his family.
"Get down!" Jack tried
to pull George back down, but George refused to be moved.
"Jack. You’re having a
flashback. You’re not in the war anymore. You’re home in Chippewa Falls. Rose
and Josephine are at the house waiting for you."
Jack shook his head violently.
"You’re wrong, George. Don’t you see them with their guns and the
bullets?"
"Jack, there are no bullets.
We’re safe. You’re safe." George moved to the side so Jack could see the
cars and people of Chippewa Falls.
Jack frowned as the muddy
trenches and flying bullets disappeared into moving cars, people, and
buildings. But this was impossible! This shouldn’t be happening! He was at war!
He was…he was…so messed up. His clearing mind remembered what he was doing
before the backfiring of the car that had sent him falling back into time, to a
place full of smoke and death. He was reassuring George that he was okay. That
there was nothing to be worried about. But now…after that episode…he wasn’t so
sure. He didn’t even have flashbacks about Titanic. This wasn’t normal, and neither
was the way he’d been living his life for the past two weeks. Holding all
negative emotions at bay. Avoiding all discussions of the war and his constant
seduction of Rose every time she tried to have a serious conversation with him.
And then his drawings…they definitely weren’t his usual style. They were all
dark and angry. Full of suffering and death. Not his usual drawings full of
love, light, and life. No, there was something wrong. George knew it, Rose knew
it, and now Jack knew it, too. He had to fix things before they got any worse.
"George…can you make me an
appointment with Doctor Calvert? I think…I think it’s time I go see him."
"Sure thing, cousin."
George squeezed Jack’s slumped shoulders. "You’re doing the right thing,
Jack. Believe me."
Sighing, Jack nodded, not feeling
very relieved. What was this going to mean for his marriage? Only the future
could tell.
*****
Jack found Rose in the kitchen
preparing dinner. He just watched her for a minute. He couldn’t believe how
beautiful she was, doing the simplest of things. From washing the clothes to
pulling the sheets back on the bed they shared. He loved her so much…her and
Josephine. They were his lifeline. They were what had gotten him through months
of torture and pain.
"Jack?" Her soft voice
brought him out of his thoughts. She looked at him with concern. "What are
you doing? Are you okay?" Ever since she saw his new sketches, the worry
hadn’t left her. Everything wasn’t all right after all. Everything was very
wrong. She just didn’t know what to do about it.
He swallowed, suddenly nervous.
This wasn’t at all easy for him to talk about. Especially with Rose. She had
always had this image of him being the strong, brave, and smart one. But the
truth was that he had never been any of those things. He was weak, scared, and
until recently, naive. "I…I had a flashback to the war this afternoon.
George was with me. He got me out of it."
"My goodness!" Rose
gasped, fear for her husband shining in her eyes.
"I asked George to make me
an appointment for me. I’ll be going back to Dr. Calvert."
"Oh, Jack!" Rose ran to
him and wrapped her arms around his thin frame. "I am so happy to hear
this."
"I’m going to get well soon,
Rose. I promise."
"I know you will, Jack. I’ll
be right by your side. Every step of the way."
Keep Myself Awake
Black Lab