DUST IN THE WIND
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Dr. Calvert’s office was
practically deserted. The only people there were Jack and Rose and another
young couple, who seemed to be in great need of the doctor’s services. The
young man kept rocking back and forth and mumbling to himself.
"The war?" Rose asked
the young woman, who looked around her age. She had sympathy for the couple.
The war seemed to have traumatized a lot of young men. She was indeed thankful
that Jack wasn’t as bad off as the young man.
The girl only nodded, tears in her
eyes. "Joseph used to be so smart and full of life." The girl sadly
smiled. "Now he’s…he’s…"
"Ruined," Jack spoke,
his eyes filled with a sadness that broke Rose’s heart. It was so deep and so
hopeless. "The war’s ruined him…just like it’s ruined us all…"
"Jack." Rose squeezed
his hand, wishing that she could replace the sadness with the bright happiness
that used to be his trademark. But she couldn’t. It was too great…too complex.
Hopefully, seeing this doctor would help.
"Mr. and Mrs. Dawson."
The nurse stood at the entrance to the doctor’s office. "Dr. Calvert will
see you now."
Taking Rose’s hand tightly in his
own, Jack followed the nurse, pushing back his fear. He knew what was ahead and
wasn’t too happy about it. He didn’t want to relive the war…the captivity. Even
thinking about it sent him whirling back in time. Back to the screams and
bullets. Back to the pain he had to endure. Looking at Rose, he was again
grateful to have her by his side through this. She really was his lifeline.
"It’s going to be okay,
Jack," Rose reassured him, sensing his apprehension. "I’m going to be
right here."
"I love you." He
squeezed her hand as they entered the office.
Dr. Calvert sat behind his desk,
his brown eyes warm and friendly. Rose rubbed Jack’s arm as they stepped into
the office. "Jack and Rose, I presume."
"Dr. Calvert." Rose
nodded. "You were recommended by Dr. Connelly."
"Oh, yes. He’s called. Told
me of young Jack’s case. Please, sit down so we can get started."
"Yes, sir." They sat on
the couch in front of the desk. Jack held onto Rose’s hand tightly, hoping that
just the touch of her hand would keep him grounded in the present.
"So, Jack. Dr. Connelly
tells me that you didn’t only fight in the war…you were a prisoner as
well." Dr. Calvert eyed the lovely Mrs. Dawson. She sure was pretty, and
maybe in another life she would have been with him instead. But this wasn’t
another life, and she was with the troubled young man before him. Just by the
look in her eyes when she looked at her husband, he could tell that they were
deeply in love.
"Yes, sir." Jack
nodded, tightening his hold on Rose’s hand. He closed his eyes against the
rising memories.
"Tell me about it, Jack.
Tell me about the war." Dr. Calvert sat back.
Jack’s eyes popped open. He
couldn’t do this. He couldn’t go back to the place of his nightmares. He’d die
if he did. Quickly, he got up from his seat, his eyes shining with fear.
"I--I can’t go back there."
"Jack, it’s okay. You’re
safe now. No one can hurt you anymore. We’re right here. Just hold my hand,
Jack. We’ll go there together. Just hold onto my hand." Rose tightened her
hold on him, hoping that he’d listen. He needed to do this in order to get
better. It was too important for him not to do.
Sighing, Jack looked at Rose and
then at the doctor. Could he really do this? For Rose? For his own sanity?
Looking into her eyes, he decided that the answer was yes. With Rose by his
side, he could do anything. Taking a deep breath and squeezing Rose’s hand,
Jack sat back down and kept his eyes on the doctor’s name plate.
"None of us knew what we
were getting into. Some of the younger guys…they all thought we were going on
some grand adventure. That we’d be away from home for only a few months. But I
knew better. Experience had taught me that nothing was ever certain or easy.
Most likely, we’d never see our loved ones again.
"All too soon, the fighting
started. Blood and screams were everywhere. A man not much older than I was
when I met Rose…he was one of the first to die in my arms." Jack looked at
Rose, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears. "He had a girl. Her name
was Josephine Rose Smith. They were to be married when he returned. He told me
to tell her that he was sorry. That he loved her. And then the light in his
eyes…it was gone, Rose. Gone."
"Oh, Jack!" Rose
gasped. How horrible that must have been for him.
"Shortly after that…I killed
someone, Rose. It was a boy. Not much older than myself. We were in the middle
of a battle and all I could think about was surviving and making it home to
you. All I saw of the guy was the gun. So I fired…not even thinking twice about
it. No, I didn’t think twice about shooting him until I got up and looked into
his face. He could have been a distant cousin. Blond hair…dead blue eyes. My
first and only real kill."
"Jack...tell me about your
captivity. Tell us what happened to you while you were in enemy hands,"
Dr. Calvert said, writing something down on his notepad.
"They only gave me what I
deserved. I killed someone. In cold blood!" Guilt ripped through Jack,
stabbing at him like a thousand knives. "They gave me the treatment I
deserved."
"No, Jack…you didn’t deserve
any of that…" Rose protested, remembering the scars all over Jack’s body.
It was obvious that he was tortured, and it broke her heart to hear Jack say
that he deserved it.
"I killed someone, Rose!
Someone not much older than myself!"
"No, Jack…it was
self-defense. He would have killed you if you hadn’t killed him first! And he
wouldn’t have the guilt that you have, Jack! He would have killed you without
question!"
"I don’t know that, Rose.
Besides, it doesn’t take away the fact that I killed someone. I took him away
from a wife and child." Tears seeped from Jack’s eyes. He began to sob
uncontrollably. "I killed him, Rose! I killed him!" Jack cried, leaning
into Rose’s warm embrace as he cried for the boy, he cried for the man he had
killed, and he cried for himself. What was he going to do now that he was home
from the war? How was his punishment going to continue? Would Rose leave him
now? Taking their beautiful daughter with her? Would his victim keep haunting
him in his dreams at night?
"So, we’re finally getting
to the bottom of this. Jack, you feel guilty for defending yourself. For
killing that soldier before he could kill you." Dr. Calvert looked at
Rose, wishing that he had a wife as devoted to him as she seemed to be to Jack.
"The doctor’s right, Jack.
That soldier wouldn’t have thought twice about killing you and taking you away
from me. You were only protecting us. That’s all." Rose gently stroked his
sandy hair. "Baby, you have to stop blaming yourself like this. You only
did what you had to do to keep your promise. To come back home to me and
Josephine."
Rose held him tightly as his body
shook with sobs, her heart breaking for him. He was inconsolable. She looked up
at the doctor as if to ask if Jack’s overflowing tears were normal. The doctor
only smiled, pleased with the progress Jack had made so far. It usually took a
good month or two before a patient cried.
"He’s going to be just fine,
Mrs. Dawson. This is an emotional breakthrough. Usually it takes my patients
longer than this to let their emotions out."
"I’m sorry, Rose! I’m so
sorry!" Jack cried, clinging tightly to Rose.
"Shh." She kissed his
hair. "It’s all right now. Everything is going to be okay."
And it was. She could feel it in
her entire being. Jack was getting the help he needed, and soon everything
would be the way it should be.
*****
Oh oh oh
All we are is dust
Oh oh oh
All we are is dust in the wind.
Five hours later, Jack and Rose
lay in each other’s arms, exhausted from the emotional session that day. They
had returned two hours later, ready to collapse.
Rose had gone about taking care
of Josephine while Jack slept the first peaceful sleep he had had since his
return home. The nightmares seemed to be gone now.
After Josephine was settled, Jack
and Rose lay in each other’s arms, deep in love and relief.
I close my eyes
Only for a moment then the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind.
"I get it now." Jack
sighed suddenly, taking Rose off guard. "I truly understand."
"Understand what,
Jack?" Rose asked, gazing into his eyes, getting lost in their blue
depths.
"How quickly life can be
over. I mean, I thought I understood it after the Titanic, and I did…but not
fully. Not until the war. Not until I had to take a life myself. We are so
fragile, Rose. Everything can end in just one breath. We are all nothing but
dust in the wind. Here to live and love for a short time, and then it’s over.
It gives make it count a whole new meaning for me."
It's the same old song
We're just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Just crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see, yeah
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Life's too short brothers and sisters
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind.
"Jack." She took his
hand in hers, wanting him to know that one thing about their lives was forever.
Their love. "Our love is forever. Even when we’re gone, it’ll carry on in
our children…grandchildren. It’ll never die."
Don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever, but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy.
Jack smiled, never having thought
of that. Sometimes Rose was even more insightful than he was. He loved her more
than anything, and if he had to, he’d die for her. "I love you, Rose. Now
and forever."
Laughing, Rose pulled him close,
his love covering her like a warm blanket. "I love you forever, too, Jack.
I always will."
Laying her head on his chest, she
drifted off to sleep. Safe and secure and loved in his arms.
Two Months Later
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Life's too short brothers and sisters
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind.
Rose made the finishing touches
to the romantic dinner that she had set up for Jack. She sighed, thinking of
the news she had to share with her husband…news that she wasn’t sure he’d be
happy about. So far, things were going well for the Dawsons. Jack was back at
the factory. working full time, and Rose had gone back to her acting. But this
news could change everything.
"Rose! I’m home!" Jack
announced. His eyes widened in surprise at the sight that greeted him. Rose was
in her good dress, standing in front of a table set for two. "Hey…is this
an anniversary or something?"
Rose smiled. It had been two
months since Jack’s depression, and now he was back to normal…almost. He still
had nightmares sometimes, and now he wasn’t as carefree as he used to be. But
the flashbacks were gone, and that was all that mattered.
"No, it’s not an
anniversary. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I made your
favorite."
"You didn’t have to do
that." Jack kissed her. "Wow. This is great. But I still have a
question. What’s going on?" Jack sat down, ready to dig into the spaghetti
and meatballs.
Rose nervously swallowed. Now was
the time to tell him. Happy or mad, now was the moment of truth. "I’m
pregnant!"
Jack’s fork stopped in mid-air as
his eyes widened with surprise. Did he hear right? Did Rose just say what he
thought she said? "Can you repeat that, please?"
Rose looked down at the table,
afraid to meet his eyes. Was he angry with her? Or was he as happy as she was?
"I’m pregnant, Jack." She looked up to meet his eyes, inwardly hoping
for the best. "Two months along."
Jack’s mind went blank. He didn’t
know what to say. How had this happened? The only time they weren’t careful was
all the times he had seduced her to keep from answering her questions. All the
times two months ago when he took advantage of her attraction to him.
"Oh, Rose!" Jack
gasped, trying to get a grasp of her emotions. Was she happy about this? Did
she blame him for saddling her with another baby? "I…I don’t know what to
say…"
"Say something." Unshed
tears were in her eyes, her voice barely a whisper. He wasn’t happy. He was
going to leave her, probably go in search of Maria. Maria, who was young,
pretty, and not pregnant.
"Is this what you want? Are
you happy with this, Rose?"
She wiped away a tear, trying not
to show how vulnerable she felt right then. She wanted to be strong and
confident. She didn’t want Jack to stay out of pity. She wanted him to stay
because he loved her and their children. "Yes. Yes, I am, Jack. Forgive me
if that sounds horrible, but I love the idea of carrying another one of your
babies. In a way, it’s like you’re with me…even when you’re not. I know that
sounds stupid…"
"No. No, that doesn’t sound
stupid at all. I understand. I love it, too, Rose. Babies mean forever, and the
fact that you’re having another baby with me…that means we’re forever."
Rose smiled, tears of joy
flowing. "I’ll love you forever, Jack. That’s a promise."
"I’ll love you forever, too,
Rose. I promise never to leave your side again."
"Jack." She got up and
buried herself in his arms. "Jack, Jack, Jack."
"Rose." Jack sighed
happily, holding his wife close. "I want to raise our children near the
ocean and in the sun. Not here in this little town."
Rose frowned. What did Jack mean?
She liked this little town. "Jack…what are you talking about?"
"Santa Monica, Rose! Let’s
move there. Let’s start a whole new life."
Rose looked at Jack skeptically.
She didn’t want to leave Chippewa Falls. She loved it here. This was where she
had found Jack, where she had Josephine. "We have so many memories
here." Rose sighed.
"We’ll make new ones."
Jack happily smiled. "Besides, I have a promise to fulfill. Teach a
certain redhead how to ride like a man…"
Rose laughed at the memory,
surprised that she had forgotten about the conversation that drew her to Jack
all those years ago. "Oh, yes. I’m supposed to learn how to ride like a
real cowboy."
"And you will. I know you
will."
"You won’t let up until I
agree, will you?"
Jack just smiled and shook his
head. "So…are we moving?"
Rose laughed, her green eyes
sparkling with love and happiness. "We’re moving."
That night, Jack and Rose lay in
bed, totally at peace. The future held heartache and happiness. Arguments and
kisses. But through it all, Jack and Rose went through it together.
Even long after they themselves
became dust in the wind, their love still ran strong through their descendants.
A love that was born from tragedy. That lasted through desperation and despair.
A love that would last forever.
Open your eyes, you've
acquired quite a bit
Keep your balance, don't you slip
It could all end instantly, as you will see
Time waits for no one, it just moves on
There is a white one
Who can't accept the black one
Who won't accept the yellow one
Who can't accept the white
When will we learn
All we are is dust in the wind
Time for the healing to begin
All we are is dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind.
Dust In The Wind
Eric Benet
The End.