EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST
Chapter Eighteen

I had to have walked up and down this deck for what feels like hours, with no sign of Harry. Where could he be? The ship is only so big, where could he possibly be? I passed the crew’s area once more, for the hundredth time, but stopped. With a tea cup in his hand stands woman-less Will, his back to me, talking to another officer who was steering the ship. "Will!" He turned around, and seeing me, managed a smile. It’s nice to know he doesn’t hate me. He said something I couldn’t quite make out to the other officer and made his way towards me.

"Antoinette! How are you?"

"Recovering from you winning at poker," I laughed. "Have you seen Harry?" His bright eyes faded and he hesitated momentarily before nodding.

"Uh, yes. He’s been looking for you, actually." He smiled. "Are you two playing tag?"

"Sort of. When did you last see him?"

"Well…" His voice trailed off as he gestured over my shoulder, down the deck to my left. "He was sitting on one of the deck chairs for a little time there. I haven’t seen him since."

"Oh." I sighed. "Well, if you see him, let him know I’m out and about on the deck."

"Will do." He stopped. "Oh, before I forget—are you coming for…" He lowered his voice. "Cards tonight?"

"Same time tonight?"

"Yes."

"Blackjack night, right?" He nodded. "Definitely. It was fun being cramped in a room with a bunch of officers and the Marconi operator." He smiled.

"Well, I’ll see you, then." He turned, but I grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"Will, wait." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yes?" I need to ask. It sound silly, but that’s how I feel right about now.

"I hope I didn’t make you think—" He shook his head, causing me to shut my mouth.

"No, no." He’s blatantly lying.

"Oh, Will, come now. We’re adults, aren’t we?" I managed a smile as he brought his eyes back to me. "I’m sorry if I led you on."

"I should’ve noticed," he said, with a shrug. "Harry and you are perfect for each other. It just took me a long time to see it, realize it." He still had that glimmer of hope, didn’t he? I can’t believe I crushed him. I didn’t even know it. I had been so wrapped up in my own little fairytale that I had forgotten what was happening to the people around me.

I have to admit, I’ve grown quite fond of Will. He’s a sweetheart, he really is. All of the officers on Titanic don’t seem to have a problem dealing with me—Then again, it could all be an act. I am the Master Shipbuilder’s daughter, after all. I really think that if something ever happened to me, these men would be there for me. If nothing else, Harry and Will would be there.

"I’m happy for you, Antoinette," he said sincerely. "I have no doubts that Harry and you will be together." I raised an eyebrow at him. He already gave up? What if I was some society woman who just traded men in as if they were cards in a poker game? My mother would disown me if I ever did that…trade men in as if they were cards, but he doesn’t now! "Women stay dedicated to their men. They agree with them even when they’re wrong. That’s our role, Antoinette. As women, that’s what we’re here to do." According to her, women were put on this Earth to reproduce and be arm candy. I think she’s wrong!

But, getting back to the point, how does Will know me that well, that he knows Harry is automatically the one? I barely know myself! I just met both of them. But, I think Harry is the one. Everyone must see it, even though I am practically blind to it all.

"Friends?" I asked, somewhat calling for a truce.

"Of course." He smiled. "I do care about you, Antoinette. Nothing could change that." Whatever he says, I believe, at this point. "If Harry does anything inappropriate, you come tell me and I’ll take care of it. Okay?" He stopped himself and then busted out laughing. I giggled.

"Sure. He’s a gentleman, though, Will." I paused. "Poker aside, that is."

"Mr. Murdoch?" We both turned in the direction of the voice and another lower-class officer (I merely know this because of his attire) was standing there with a note in his hand. "Could I possibly speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure." Will turned to me, gesturing over his shoulder. "I’m sorry, I’ve got to—"

"Don’t worry about it." He has a job, after all. "See you tonight." That sparkle in his eyes, that I had seen when I had first met him that night when I was watching the whole charade at dinner, had reappeared. I just noticed it when he smiled at me.

"Yes, tonight." He brushed past me and back to where he belonged and I continued on my trek to find Harry. It honestly was frivolous. I keep practically knocking down complete strangers, not looking where I’m going, just keeping my eyes peeled for Harry. I sighed after minutes of no luck. Shoot.

I sighed again, brushing hair out of my eyes from the proceeding wind. I know I can’t stay out here on deck for hours. Ismay could come walking down the deck at any moment and then, I’d be forced to keep a straight face as he retold the china incident for the hundredth time. Knowing me, I’d tell him it was Harry and I. Then, it would be me chained to a pipe. I took a seat on one of the deck chairs that were looking over at the sea and rested my hand in my palm. Yes, I don’t look like a lady…but, do I care? Not, really.

"Guess who?" asked a familiar voice, covering my eyes with his hands.

"Hi, Harry," I laughed, taking his hands and turning to face him.

"Hello, Love." He sat down opposite me on another deck chair. "I see you managed to escape." I nodded.

"Did you think of anything we could do?" I asked.

"Well, no." He laughed.

"Ismay hasn’t been around," I noted aloud, looking down to the left and right of the deck.

"Oh, he’s been around," he reassured me. "Tailing the officers and the Captain is becoming a hobby for him."

"I believe it." He’s still trying to recover from not having brandy last night, I bet.

"How about a game?" he suggested.

"Another game? How many games—"

"This one actually involves some thought."

"Like poker?" He laughed, shaking his head.

"Not, really. Yet another officer’s game."

"Does anybody actually do their job on this ship?" I questioned with a laugh. "You have too much time to be thinking up games!"

"This game was invented by Lightoller—who as we all know…Is a higher officer than me, which means he stands around more than I do, having time to contemplate these things." He smiled as I attempted to hide my laughter behind my hand.

"Alright, what are the rules?"

"Well, we pick a person and make up their life story." I raised an eyebrow.

"That’s it?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah, that’s it." He gestured to an older man. Oh, wait, that’s John Jacob Astor and his little wife—who could really be his daughter.

"Out of all the people on this ship, why him?" I hissed into his ear. "He’s the richest man on this ship!" I paused. "Supposedly."

"Oh, he is," Harry concluded. "Now, his life story…"

"Well…" I bit my lip in thought. "He was born in a corn field, surrounded by cows." Harry started laughing immediately.

"In the middle of Kansas," he inserted. That’s when I started laughing.

"…He tried to sell the cows for a few mere coins, and then his parents, but nobody wanted anything from him. He made wreaths out of wheat and sold them on the side of the road for five cents, because he was starving…"

"Five cents? That’s expensive for a wreath!"

"Well, he made some to use as a door decoration and he made some that you could put on your head, as a decoration for yourself." I stopped. "It was a labor of love." We both began laughing again—Oh, how can anyone not notice we’re laughing hysterically?

"He finally managed to make enough money to buy some bread," Harry continued, "but the bread was weeks old and he instead used the bread as a saw to make a new fence for his field and cows."

"But how did he make his millions?" I questioned.

"He opened a factory of wreaths. Then, he managed to meet the family all thirty miles down the road from his farm and he met his wife." He gestured to the girl, with her arm locked in his. "Her parents sold her off for a few dollars and then, they were able to buy some cheese."

"Cheese?" I asked, wiping my eyes from oncoming laughter. He nodded.

"Cheese," he replied with a nod.

"Well, well, well, Miss Andrews," said a pompous voice. I turned and there was Ismay, dressed of course, in his finest—his hat in his hand. What a killjoy! "Nice to see you." He eyed me up and down a few times and I shot a look of desperation at Harry.

"Hello, Mr. Ismay," I managed to say. He smiled, taking a step towards me before taking my hand. He kissed it and I swear to you, I contemplated pushing him overboard.

"Pleasure to see you again," he said with that creepy smile, yet again eyeing me. I tried to get my hand out of his grip, but wasn’t able to slip my fingers out of his greasy grasp.

"Hello, Mr. Ismay," Harry intervened, standing up and holding out his hand for Ismay. He hesitated but let go of my hand to shake Harry’s. Thank you, Harry. "Great weather we’re having, isn’t it?" Ismay nodded as they dropped hands.

"Yes, yes, wonderful weather. A little chilly, but, otherwise, fantastic weather." He paused. "I know I haven’t seen either of you for quite some time, have you heard about the china?" I managed not to groan.

"Yes, we have," Harry said with a nod.

"Good. As you well know, there were two people in the dining area after hours and they broke some beautiful, expensive china. Thankfully, none of the tea they were having stained the piano keys, but the carpet is going to need to be replaced." I highly doubt that! We drank almost all of our tea that night. What a lying, scumbag…

"That’s too bad," I said, standing up from my seat.

"Well, whoever did this, Miss Andrews, I will get them and make sure they pay the due punishment. Even if I have to chain them to a pipe—"

"Isn’t that a tad harsh?" Harry asked nervously, fixing his cuff links.

"That was White Star Line property," Ismay said, as if that made all the difference in the world. "No punishment is harsh enough for ruining property of this company." I glanced up at Harry, begging him with my eyes to make this grease ball go away for good.

"Ann, weren’t we going to meet your father?" Harry asked me suddenly, glancing at his watch. I raised an eyebrow of confusion until he looked at Ismay and then to me. Oh, I see! An escape!

"Oh yes!" I gasped, almost in shock I forgot before standing up. "I’m sorry to break up our conversation, but I shouldn’t keep my father waiting. He’ll get worried and…" Ismay shook his head, taking my hand once again before kissing it. Oh. I’ll never get his stench off of me.

"That’s alright. I suppose I’ll see you tonight at dinner." Over my dead body. I forced a smile as I got my hand out of Ismay’s. I hope I never have to touch him ever again.

"Yes, I suppose," I replied, still keeping my forced smile on my face. Ismay eyed me up and down again, but Harry took my hand, getting out from between the chairs and past Ismay.

"See you then, Miss Andrews, Officer Lowe!" he called.

"Until then," Harry replied, quickening his pace away from Ismay. We kept on walking, faster and faster, until we were practically running away from Ismay and out of his sight. We took a quick left before stopping. "Oh, that man is a grease ball!" Harry hissed at me. I nodded.

"I know, isn’t he awful?"

"He kept staring at you," he observed.

"Why do you think I stay away from him?"

"I had to practically pull him off of you." I shuddered, trying not to remember the thought. "To think your father works with him at White Star Line, it makes me want to quit sailing all together." He smiled before chuckling.

"It makes me want to move out to…Kansas." We both started laughing.

"Do you think he has any idea?" he asked me suddenly.

"About the china?" He nodded. "Well, he’s still talking about it, so I guess not."

"He may find out."

"Or he may not."

"I hope for the latter."

"Me, too." Harry took my other hand, pulling me in closer to him. "What?" I asked as silence seemed to enclose us.

"You are so lovely," he choked out. How many times has he told me how beautiful I am? I have to admit, I never get sick of hearing it.

"You’re not that bad yourself," I smiled. He touched my cheek gently before kissing me. The kiss immediately became deeper and once we let go, I couldn’t help but go in for another one. We were both giggling between the kisses and he pulled me in closer again.

"I am completely running out of compliments," he joked with another kiss.

"That’s okay," I reassured him. "I don’t need compliments."

"Yes, you do. You’re much to be beautiful to not be complimented." I smiled, before shaking my head. "Do you know how much I love you?" I nodded.

"Yes, I do. But…I would like to know just how much."

"Oh, I’ll tell you how much." He smiled, suddenly pulling me back to where we were when we had escaped from Ismay.

"Harry, stop!" I said, trying to stop laughing and sound serious. "What are you doing?" I questioned. He then cleared his throat.

"I LOVE THIS WOMAN!" he shouted to everyone looking out at the ocean on the deck, his voice echoing throughout the entire ship and out to sea. I covered my face in my hands, turning a beet red as everyone turned to face us. "I LOVE HER! I LOVE ANTOINETTE ANDREWS!" He then turned to me, not looking in the least embarrassed by his sudden profession of love. "And that, Antoinette, that’s…how much I love you."

Chapter Nineteen
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