EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST
Chapter Twenty-Three

After everyone realized what was going to take place in merely hours, the crew went to work. My father disappeared in a matter of seconds after the Captain’s comment to Ismay and I followed Will out on deck, in hopes of finding Harry. I’ll catch up with my father, I always seem to find him.

It took me moments to understand that Titanic’s crew was certainly a fine crew, but there weren’t enough of them to uncover the boats by themselves. Sliding my coat over my hands so I wouldn’t get frostbite, I began to help in the bitter cold, as much as I could.

There was shouting above the ship’s noises—the noises, I really am not sure where they’re coming from. "Keep lowering!" Wilde shouted to the crew. "Keep lowering!" Gears shifted to get the lifeboats dangling above the water from the side of the ship with no problems, until the first gear which was the major source of being able to lift the heavy lifeboats got jammed. I was handling the gear at the time, and it just stopped turning for no apparent reason.

"It’s stuck!" I yelled to Will, gesturing to the gear.

"What!?" He can’t hear me.

"IT’S STUCK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Will turned to Wilde, who had this look on his face, a look that said he had no idea what to do. I kicked the gear, in hopes of it getting unstuck and turning properly. Nothing. Wilde bent down beside the gear and tried his best to fix it, but with no luck.

"This isn’t good!" Will said to me.

"I know!" I shouted back. I turned away from the lifeboats and started to look for something that could undo the gear and make it do what it’s supposed to. I looked about with no luck, my eyes falling on the bright windows of the doorway to the first-class entrance—at least, that’s what the sign says. Through the windows, I can see what looks to be the entire first-class, in lifejackets. Maybe I should’ve grabbed a lifejacket—I never thought of it. Then, I saw it.

A fire hose wouldn’t help us, but what was beside it, I know this’ll work! The axe. I ran for the axe as Will tried to grab my arm, wondering where I was going, but with no luck. I brushed past him and touched the glass with the axe enclosed in it. There’s no key. I sighed in frustration, covering my hand with my coat and I hit the glass. No luck. My hand bounced right back to me. Damn it.

"What in God’s name, are you doing!?" Will shouted at me over the noise. I didn’t answer, I can’t. I unhooked the hose from its’ place and slammed it against the glass case, the glass itself shattering into a million pieces. I brushed pieces of glass onto the deck, away from my body and grabbed the axe. It’s so heavy! If anything should snap this gear back into place, it’s the axe. "What are you doing to do!?" He shouted at me again as I went for the gear. I ignored him. I’m losing my voice now as it is, from all of the yelling I’ve had to do in the past ten minutes alone.

"Get out of the way!" I shouted to Wilde. He didn’t hear me, or he doesn’t plan on listening to me, because he didn’t move. "WILDE!" He whirled around, then stood up, seeing the axe in my hand. "Move!"

He took a step to my right and I slammed the axe as hard as I could onto the gear. Not the sharp blade, mind you, just the actual blade on the side, the extremely heavy part. The gear didn’t even budge when I attempted to move it with my foot. I slammed the axe down again onto the gear and it suddenly snapped back into place or whatever was holding it back from doing the desired purpose, it was done. It made the normal lowering sounds when Will turned the gear. I glanced down at the axe in my hand. It actually, miraculously worked. Thank you, God.

"It works!" he shouted at me, smiling, from the deck floor as I placed the axe back to where it belonged. As if that matters now—everything’s going to be underwater soon, no matter what any of us do. I don’t want to think that negatively or even think that far ahead, but I can’t help it.

"Release those ties! Roll back that cover, roll back that cover, smartly now!" Wilde’s voice penetrated my ears and I took a step towards an uncovered lifeboat, and threw the cover off of it, onto the deck, with all of my might.

"Mr. Wilde, where are the passengers?" My father’s voice rang over the loud sounds of the ship as I whirled around. He didn’t even see me, but tightly held two lifejackets in his hands, as if someone might try to steal them.

"They’ve all gone back inside. Too damn cold and noisy for them!"

"What about Antoinette, did she go inside, too?" Wilde then gestured to me before yelling at someone above us. "You there!" He blew his whistle, that had been extremely abused in the past ten minutes. "Get down here and help with these lines!" My father ran towards me, taking my hands.

"Let’s go inside," he suggested loudly.

"But, Daddy, the boats—" Will turned to face both of us.

"Go on!" he shouted at me, pointing to the first-class entrance. I hesitated. What about Harry? Will must’ve seen the look on my face, for he said, "If I see him, I’ll tell him you’re inside, I promise!" I nodded. My father tugged on my hands.

"They’re trained to do this, Ann!" he tried to reassure me, beginning to drag me into the first-class area. I glanced over at Will, then my father, shaking my head at him.

"Wait, wait!" I let go of his hands, after a moment of struggle on his part and wrapped my arms around Will into a hug. In case I don’t see him—I want to say good-bye. Am I being over the top? No, no, I’m not! The ship will sink. That’s the frightening part. I want to at least make sure he knows I care.

He didn’t know what do, I think, because he just stood there, in the middle of the freezing cold. He then hugged me back. As I let go of the embrace, I know realize how confused he is. I kissed him on the cheek and he completely turned tomato red, touching his cheek.

"What was that for?" he asked, almost in a daze.

"In case I don’t see you," I managed to say above the noises. "Good luck."

"…Take care of yourself, Antoinette." I nodded.

"I will. You, too." My father then took my hand, tugging on my arm towards the first-class entryway. My feet, which felt as if they were attached to the deck, finally obliged. I glanced back at the officers for one brief moment, Will looked as if he was ready to cry, before my father pulled me into the warm indoors. I know I’ll see them again. I have to. I then turned to my father, who silently checked his watch, looking around us and then to the windows outside.

"How much time left?" I asked him softly, looking around the room.

"Enough." He then stuffed the pocket watch back into his pocket, handing me one of the two lifejackets he had secured.

"How do you put these on?" I asked him. I have no idea where my head goes through. I turned it up and sideways, unsure of what I’m doing. He managed a laugh—In the midst of all of this confusion and all the people idling around us, he’s laughing. Why, I don’t know.

"Here, I’ll help you. Take off your coat." I slipped the coat off of my shoulders as my father put the lifejacket on over my head and quickly tied it in front. "There. It’s not too loose, is it?" I feel like a marshmallow, but a very secure marshmallow.

"No, it’s perfect." He helped me back on with my coat and I buttoned it back up. I began to search the room as my father put on his own lifejacket, throwing his coat onto a nearby chair. Everyone looks so calm—They have no idea of what’s in store. To top everything else off, the chattering of the passengers aside, the band was playing great music. Great as in happy music. Don’t they know? Aren’t they part of the crew—Are they not informed of this information? Who’s going to tell everyone?

"Ann." I turned back to my father as he threw his coat back on.

"They have no idea, do they?" I asked him, refusing to look him in the eye.

"No, not yet." He took my arm. "Antoinette." He shook his head. "You can’t tell anyone about what you know. Do you understand?"

"But—"

"No buts. You can’t be responsible for a panic." He lowered his voice. "Everyone will panic, anyway—In due time. Let’s try to keep everyone calm for now." Things will get out of hand, I know, eventually.

"But, Daddy, we’d be lying—"

"We’re not lying," he corrected. "They’ll figure it out."

"But, the lifeboats—"

"I’m sure the Captain knows what he’s going to do," he tried to reassure me. "They should begin loading passengers into the boats in a few minutes. Once they do, I’m placing you on a lifeboat."

"What?" He can’t be serious!

"Ann, you need to get off this ship." I looked around me. …Still no sight of Harry. "Ann, look at me." He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Before all of the lifeboats are gone, you are getting out of here. Do you understand me?" I managed a slight nod as he dropped his arms to his sides. I think he’s serious. No, I know he’s serious.

Suddenly, there was a high-pitched whistle that echoed across the room and everyone stopped what they were doing, and turned in the direction of the noise. There stands Wilde, that damn whistle in his hand. I plan on shoving that whistle down his throat.

"We need everyone out on deck!" he yelled. "Right now! Hurry up now, no time to lose!" He’s got that right. People began to group together, making their way towards the entrance where Wilde had came in, following him to the outdoors. I watched in slow motion as the passengers, now outside, blocked the view of the windows—the same windows where I could once see the lifeboats and the officers, was now blocked by white. The lifejackets.

"Ann, come now, you should be one of the first—" My father took my hand, trying to lead me towards the door to the outside, but I shook my head.

"Dad, no!"

"Antoinette, don’t argue with me on this—This is no time to disagree!" I sighed.

"No, you don’t understand—"

"Understand what?" he pressed.

"I’m not leaving until I see Harry." He stopped, dropping my hands, staring at me straight in the eye.

"Ann, you can’t wait here. Not for him, not for anyone." He lowered his voice. "The ship is sinking and once the boats are filled and lowered, that’s it—"

"I know it sounds totally inappropriate and insane, but I want to see him." I paused. "If he doesn’t make it out of here, I at least know I got to say good-bye." Did I just say that? I’m willing to say anything to convince my father to let me stay on this hunk of iron for a few more minutes.

"You really care for him, don’t you?" he asked me quietly. I nodded.

"Daddy…" I sighed at him. He’ll never understand, if I tell him, will he? "I love him." He took in a sharp breath, before managing a nod.

"I’m sure he loves you, too," he said softly. He paused, looking down at the floor before locking his eyes on me. "Alright, then." He paused. "We’ll give him a few more minutes. If he doesn’t come…" His voice trailed off.

"I’ll get on a boat," I promised aloud. But, I know I’ll find him. He’ll find me, one way or another. He has to find me. I know he’ll find me, he has to. I need to tell him how much I really love him. "But…what are we going to do until then?" I asked.

"We’re going to make sure everyone is where they should be." With that, he took my hand and began to lead me towards the Grand Staircase.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Stories