EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST
Chapter Twenty-Six

"ANTOINETTE!" Harold’s voice came screaming from above as I struggled to get myself over the railing and back onto Titanic. My feet seemed to almost touch the waters of the North Atlantic, for I could feel the bitterness of the cold nip at my toes.

"PULL HER IN!" Wilde yelled as two male passengers, dressed in their best, as if ready to go down with the ship, pulled me back in. When I landed on my feet, I began to run. I ran for someone. Someone, anyone, I knew, either my father or Harry.

I pushed through many other passengers, some who were watching the boats lower into the sea. My father’s wool coat is inevitably dragging me down, but I can’t stop. I heard the splash of water and glancing quickly to my right, I saw the lifeboat I was on only moments before land into the water and was beginning to pull away from the sinking ship. There’s always going to be another boat—for some other deserving passenger. That passenger won’t be me.

I almost slammed into a door leading to the inside, but managed to get it open and continued to run. I realize how tilted the ship is, as if water had been invading the bow of the ship the entire time I had been in that lifeboat—which had only been minutes. Gravity. It took a lot more work to keep running in the opposite direction of the tilt, but the adrenaline is keeping the cold I am still feeling off of my mind and is also keeping my legs from collapsing underneath me.

I seem to be in a corridor I don’t recognize. I had to stop myself, merely because this corset is, yet again, cutting off my air supply. I leaned against a painted white wall and as I glance down the hallway, there’s luggage and clothing scattered throughout, but there doesn’t seem to be a soul in sight. Come on, Antoinette, you need to find someone who knows where they’re going! My father…that’s who I want to see get on a boat. But, Harry needs to get on a boat, too…I closed my eyes, trying to think straight.

That’s when I heard a sound. It sounded like the groaning of a beast, as if this said-beast had given up and I steadied myself as the groaning grew a little louder. The lights flickered off and then turned back on, without a moment’s hesitation. Then, they turned off completely. I began to panic. I’m petrified of the dark! Especially when it’s dark and I have no idea of where I am, or where I’m going. I can only somewhat gasp for air because of the corset and I pulled my father’s coat, mine underneath, closer to my body, as if he was hugging me. He always would comfort me when the dark was concerned.

"Please, turn on," I begged the darkness. "Please." Nothing. I can’t stay in here forever, but it’ll be practically impossible to make my way out of the interior of such a large ship—No, it is impossible. It’s over. It’s over. I’m stuck here until something better comes along. The lights suddenly flickered on, off, and then on again. They were on! At least for the time being. "Thank you, God," I whispered, before mustering up enough energy to continue on my trek. My trek into the unknown, really, but I know I have to get there…fast. No one knows what could be in store in the next hour or the next minute, for that matter, and that’s as frightening as death itself.

I made it out of the hallway and past some unfamiliar rooms, to see them unsurprisingly unoccupied. They were as empty as a graveyard. I stopped myself for thinking this place was a graveyard, it was supposed to be the Ship of Dreams. Lifejackets lay on the floor, on chairs and even on tables. Why aren’t people wearing them?

I struggled to keep up with the force of the gravity, in heels, mind you—and when I hit the first-class area, I knew I had forgotten something. I should be calling for either my father or Harry! How would they know where I was if I didn’t call for them? They weren’t psychic! One of them had to be around. Half of this ship must be underwater by now, there are only so many places they could be. I have no idea how much damage has been done, but by the way Titanic is tilting—Either way, it’s not good.

"DADDY!" I called out. "HARRY!" No response. I’m not completely shocked, but I’m not one to give up so easily. I passed through more unfamiliar rooms, that were obviously first-class with all of the beautiful décor, but I can’t gawk at it now. "HARRY! DAD!" I had to refrain from crying as my feet began to slow down by themselves. "HELLO?" I yelled, my voice echoing down the empty hallways and the rooms. "HELLO! IS ANYONE HERE? HELLO!?" I sighed. "Damn it!" I cursed under my breath.

Nothing. It’s so difficult to believe that there’s no one around. How many passengers are on this ship again? I gulped, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. Don’t panic. Everything’s not lost. Everything is not lost, Antoinette Andrews. My feet dragging, I kept going. I have to find one of them eventually. I used the doorways as a way to pull me through the tilted rooms, every one of them empty.

I ended up at a what looked to be a café. I’ve never been here, but there’s black and white tiled floor and those nice wicker chairs that are in the lunching area are in here, too, along with—what else? A bar. The liquor is still there. I’m surprised nobody went for it. I pulled my way through the room and before I knew it, I was in the first-class smoking room. Ismay’s paradise.

The tables and the chairs were sliding away from me and a cart came rolling towards me, almost slamming me to the floor and rolling over me, but I managed to jump out of the way just as it passed. I moved my feet as fast as I could, keeping my eyes in front of me—Until I saw feet. It looked to be a man, just standing at the fireplace, staring at some painting hanging above the mantle. I ran towards the person and stopped immediately when I realized who it was. My father.

"Daddy?" He slightly glanced over at me, barely breaking his gaze from the burning fireplace. "Dad." He turned to me, his eyes seeming to break in front of me.

"Antoinette," he said softly, "You’re not here. I put you on a lifeboat." Well, technically, he did, and so did Harry—but I can’t explain that. It doesn’t matter now. I have no idea what to say, but just…watching him is making my own heart break. I thought my heart had been broken, but with each passing second, I hear the rumbling of the ship, the shattering of dishes and glasses, and sounds that were merely inaudible, muffled by the sounds of petrified screams, my heart cracked just a little bit more. I have to say something. I can’t listen to it.

"You did put me on a boat," I said, managing a nod. "I…I jumped off." He suddenly turned to me, swaying from the tip of Titanic, shaking his head at me.

"I don’t understand."

"I’m not leaving you," I decided aloud, taking a step towards him. I’ll stay here if I have to.

"Antoinette, I can’t leave." He paused. "You know that I can’t."

"What about what you said?" I asked. "About getting on a lifeboat?"

"I lied." I figured that. He swayed towards me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Your life is important, Antoinette. I put you on a lifeboat for a reason. There are only so many before they’re…" He hesitated, taking in a sharp breath. "…before they’re gone." His life is important, though! Doesn’t he realize that?

"I’m not leaving without you, Daddy." Without him or Harry, I can’t leave.

"I’m sorry." He wants to go down with his ship, I now realize. I had never thought of it before. Why hadn’t I? It made complete sense. But, I can’t have him gone. I can’t. I need him. For God’s sake, he’s my father. "You need to get on a boat and…" He stopped, his eyes welling up with tears. "You need to go before it’s too late." Tears formed in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. I threw my arms around his neck, refusing to let go.

"I’m not leaving," I told him softly, into his ear.

"Oh, Antoinette…" his voice trailed off as he wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair. That’s one thing I will miss. "You must be freezing," he managed to mumble. I shook my head. How can I be cold with all of the commotion going on around me? How can I be cold when I realize I will probably never see my father again? I didn’t even look down, but I know from my jumping escapade and all of that running I had done tonight…my dress can’t be a garment anymore.

"No, I’m not," I reassured him, resting my head on his shoulder. Well, as close as I could reach. He kissed me on the head as my arms dropped to my sides.

"Ann, you have to go." I shook my head, as more tears came to me.

"No!" I whimpered.

"Antoinette, you need to."

"I…I…I don’t want to leave you. You have to come with me and—"

"You know I can’t do that, darling." He hesitated, wiping a few tears that had managed to escape my control away. "…You can’t end up in the water. It’s too cold, you and I both know that." I managed a nod. Just from my experience earlier, I don’t ever want to go swimming again. "You need to get off of this ship before it sinks to the bottom of the Atlantic." That’s when we heard the revolving door behind us open and Harry came running in, completely out of breath.

"Are you out of your God-forsaken mind!?" he asked me frantically. Yes. I feel like I’m in a dream and losing my mind. "Wilde wanted me to get on a boat—I couldn’t go without knowing you were okay." I glanced back at my father, who gestured to Harry as he took my hands.

"Harry, I need you to take Antoinette back to a lifeboat and get her off of this ship." I glanced at Harry, shaking my head. He stared at me, knowing that’s not what I wanted. Heartbroken, he nodded at my father.

"Of course, Mr. Andrews." I burst into tears at that point, throwing myself into his arms again.

"Antoinette, honey, you can’t stay here on account of me," he said gently. "You’re young, you have your life to live." So does he! I hugged him tightly, refusing to let go. I won’t let go—not like before. He was so warm, I can’t just…leave without him.

"I’m not leaving you behind," I repeated. He unlocked my arms about his neck and took my hands, squeezing them. I tried to hang on, but he’s much stronger than me. It was frivolous.

"Antoinette." He stared into my eyes, before taking in a deep breath. "You go with Officer Lowe. He’ll take good care of you, won’t you, Harry?" I can’t even glance at Harry, but heard his short reply, "Yes, sir." My father managed a smile at me. "See? It’ll all work out for the best."

Not without him. I can’t get on a lifeboat, knowing that my father will die on this God-forsaken ship. Ismay should be the one to die, not my father. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t do anything to deserve this fate. Who cares about pride or going down like a gentleman? Who cares what everyone else has to say? Who cares!

"We’ll move away," I told him softly. "Nobody will know." He stopped short, looking down at the carpet under our feet before glancing back at me. "We can forget this whole thing ever happened." He shook his head.

"I can’t, honey." He hugged me suddenly, myself unexpectedly beginning to cry again. "You know I can’t." He paused before whispering into my ear, "I love you, Antoinette." I hugged him back, kissing him on the cheek.

"I love you, too." He let go of me and squeezed my hands lovingly before he handed me off to Harry, who had inched his way toward us. "Take good care of her," he instructed. "Take good care of my little girl." Harry nodded.

"I will, Mr. Andrews."

"I know you will." Wait.

"I’ll never see you again," I whimpered suddenly.

"I’ll always be with you." Before I knew it, Harry was pulling me away from my father, towards the revolving door.

"Bye, Daddy," I managed to croak out.

"Good-bye, Antoinette." Just as I was about to pass through the revolving door, he blew me a kiss.

Chapter Twenty-Seven
Stories