EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST
Chapter Thirty-Seven
"Antoinette?" I refused
to open my eyes. I’m too tired, I am just too exhausted. Whatever it is, it can
wait. "Antoinette, I think we’re here." Apparently, this can’t wait.
What’s he babbling about?
"Where?" I asked
softly, snuggling closer to my pillow.
"New York."
"New York?" I mumbled,
confused. Where’s New York?
"New York, New York,"
he laughed, "New York City, Sleeping Beauty!" Oh, that New York.
There’s only one. I ignored him, getting even closer to my pillow and
stopped—when I realized that my pillow has a heartbeat. Oh, that’s not normal.
I forced myself to open one eye and then the other. I quickly looked around.
Oh, I’m back in that room the
nice stewardess had let me stay in. Well, although my memory seems awfully
fuzzy now, I remember coming in here last night after Harry and I had roamed
the deck half the night, but we were so tired, we retired in here.
"Ann?" I looked down at my feet and saw two familiar legs beside me.
Harry. Had to be. It sure as Hell wasn’t Bruce Ismay. I glanced up at him momentarily
and he was laying beside me, half-awake himself, his officer’s hat over his
eyes. So, I suppose we fell asleep in here. Oh, the scandal! The gossip, even!
"Why hello there," he
laughed at me, myself still laying on top of his chest. His uniform is so
wrinkly, I now notice. Alright, he needs a new uniform, I think, by now—or it
needs to be dry-cleaned badly. I didn’t move from my spot, my right ear hearing
nothing by his steady heartbeats and breaths. How comforting this is. It’s nice
to know he has a pulse. He ran his hand up and down my back once or twice,
trying to get me awake, kissing me on the cheek.
"Hi, Harry," I yawned,
rubbing my eyes. "Okay, you must be so uncomfortable."
"No, not really." I
looked up at him, managing to sit up, his arm around me dropping to his side.
"It’s not everyday I wake up to someone as beautiful as you." I
laughed out loud to that.
"Too early, my friend, too
early for compliments!" I joked, brushing a few stray stands of hair from
my eyes. "I’m surprised I didn’t crush you." He sat up to face me,
shaking his head.
"No, you’re a petite little
thing. But, I must admit, you look like a porcelain doll when you’re asleep. I
didn’t even want to wake you up!" I smiled.
"Then, why did you?"
"I think we’re in New York.
If not, we should be getting into the harbor any minute now, anyway…" His
voice trailed off as he looked down at his watch before me.
"Your watch is wrong,"
I reminded him, taping on the glass timepiece. "Remember?"
"I had it fixed." He
paused, before saying with a smile, "Probably while you were breaking
Ismay’s nose." I laughed at that. "Besides, the engines
stopped." I stopped moving around, listening closely—and sure enough, the
familiar noises of the ship had vanished. "Come on," he urged,
"we’ll go see."
"Go see what?" I
questioned. He stood up from the bed, fixing his uniform, attempting to
straighten it as much as he possibly could.
"We’ll go and see if we’re
close."
"Oh, Harry, what about the
gossip?" I suddenly gasped at him. "I couldn’t possibly face anyone I
know on deck!" I smiled.
"What gossip?" he
asked, clueless.
"We were in here all
night." I emphasized on the last two words as he pulled me up and off of
the bed.
"And you point is?" he
asked, with a smirk, pulling me with a kiss.
"The scandal!" I
laughed. "As if someone would notice." If only my mother knew I had
spent the night with a gentleman caller. She would throw any available, sharp
object at me if she knew. She would inevitably kill the "gentleman
caller" and throw his body into the ocean, to never be seen or heard from
again. Oh, she’ll find out. It’s just a matter of time.
"Come on, Ann." He took
my hand. "If we’re not in New York, maybe we can see the harbor." He
smiled. "Or, maybe we’ll get to see the Statue of Liberty."
"It’s a statue of some
woman," I yawned, with a laugh. "What else is there to see?"
"It’s a national landmark,
Antoinette!" he laughed, beginning to drag me towards the door before
opening it.
"Harry, I don’t care about
some national landmark! I’m tired!"
"You need fresh air,"
he decided over his shoulder as we began to walk down a hallway, before
swinging a left.
"Do you even have an idea of
where you’re going?" I laughed.
"Actually…" His voice
trailed off.
"Should I take that as a yes
or no?" I questioned.
"Take it as you want!"
he laughed, continuing down the corridor. Well, every hallway we’ve been down
is empty. Curious, maybe even peculiar. I know for a fact we’re not the only
ones on the Carpathia—we could, however, be the only ones roaming about this
early in the morning.
"What time is it,
anyway?" I asked him.
"My watch is wrong,
remember?" he joked with me.
"Harry…" My voice
trailed off as we continued down the hallway, before going up a flight of
stairs, and then another. "I am not trained in taking stairs!" I
breathed, laughing.
"Consider it training!"
he laughed, not looking over at me. I couldn’t stop giggling, and neither could
Harry. This is ridiculous! We’re running through some ship we don’t know, and
we’re acting as if we own the place. We went down a few more hallways and ended
up taking a right, towards a door to the outside. He pulled me out onto
Carpathia’s deck, and his shoulders somewhat slumped. People were walking about
and I immediately looked for any sign of intelligent life off of this ship.
Nothing. Just water.
"Okay, we’re not there
yet," I sighed.
"No, I guess not," he
replied. That’s when I heard a rumble and looking down at my feet, I saw the
planks of the deck shudder. Then, I heard the gurgling of the engines begin to
start and glancing over my shoulder, Carpathia’s one funnel began to smoke.
"Why did they stop the engines, then?" he asked aloud, to no one in
particular. Who knows. I shrugged a shoulder.
"Ran out of coal?" I
suggested weakly. That’s when raindrops began to fall from the sky, but I
ignored them. They’re slight and small. Whatever seems to be brewing doesn’t
have a chance at this point, no matter how gray the sky looks.
"I have no idea. Charles
told me today we would get to New York—"
"Delays happen." He
stood there, almost disappointed. "Harry, we’ll get there," I
promised him. "If not now, later." It’s not like we’re so far away,
we’re just close. Close enough to make everyone, including Harry, extremely
anxious.
As for myself? I’m not sure if
I’m anxious or merely weary of leaving the Carpathia. I’d love to get onto
solid ground again, away from water—but, I don’t know if I can handle going
into New York. I’m sure there’s already been such a commotion about Titanic, if
they even know. Does anyone know? Of course they do! Why else would they have
Harold Bride working?
"Harry?" I squeezed his
hand as the rain began to fall harder and harder around us. I suppose I was
wrong on this account to. It’s going to storm. As long as there’s no thunder,
I’m okay— "It’s going to pour!" I tugged on his hand, trying to get
his attention. He seems to be in his own little world. I need him with me, not
on another planet!
"Oh." He stopped,
looking down at me. "Oh, oh! I’m sorry, where am I? Come on, let’s get you
inside." He wrapped an arm around me and we ended up back inside, where a
few other passengers, that I didn’t recognize, spoke amongst themselves,
pretending not to watch us. Well, they are watching and right now, I could care
less.
"Harry, is there something
the matter?" I asked him curiously. He smiled down at me.
"Why would there be,
Love?"
"You seem so…anxious."
"Well, I am. Aren’t
you?" I shrugged a shoulder. Kind of, I am.
"I suppose."
"You suppose?" he asked
skeptically, hiding a smile. "Antoinette!" he laughed.
"Harry, I don’t know. It’s
too early to be asking me something like that—"
"It’s the middle of the
afternoon," he stated.
"See? Too early!" I
gestured to the hallway we had come here from. "I’m ready to go back to
sleep. I am exhausted and—"
"Are you hungry?" he
asked me suddenly. I glanced down at my empty stomach, forced in by my dumb
corset. It didn’t even growl, but sure, I could take something to eat right
about now.
"Somewhat. You?" He
shrugged a shoulder.
"Kind of. Food is something
we can talk about," he laughed. Now, in my mind, thunder never happens,
but I just heard a tiny growl and it wasn’t my stomach. It was from the
outside. I am trying in vain not to panic, but now, the thunder seems to bolt
around me and I jumped immediately. Okay, Antoinette and thunder are never a
good combination! I’m deathly afraid of thunder and lightening, did I ever
mention that? I never had to—It hasn’t really rained this hard before! As if
this whole experience hasn’t been frightening enough. Now, I’ve got thunder to
deal with? Great, just fantastic!
Lightening flashed through the
windows and a loud crash, the same almost failing sound I had heard when
Titanic cracked in half, echoed through the room and I screamed. I could feel
all eyes on me and I covered my eyes with my hand, beginning to walk into the
hallway, where Harry and I had come from merely minutes before. I need to get
back into my room, so I can calm my nerves. I’ll cover the window with a
blanket and—
"Antoinette?" Harry
pulled me out of my mind and I glanced at him. He’s following me, puzzled.
Another crack of thunder and I jumped, running into Harry’s arms, hiding my
face in his chest. "Ann, what is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!
It’s just, it’s just thunder."
"I am absolutely…" I gulped,
trying to calm down my rapidly beating heart. "…Petrified of
thunder."
"Are you, now?" he
asked. "I never would’ve guessed." He managed a smile as I looked up
at him. His smile faded when he saw me. I must look petrified, because, well, I
am. "Ann."
"Seriously, Harry, I—"
Another rumble as I got closer to him. "I’m terrified."
"The thunder’s not going to
hurt you," he tried to reassure me.
"I know, I know…" My
eyes welled up with tears. I don’t want to have a panic attack, not here, in
the middle of some ship corridor!
"Alright, alright,
Love." He kissed my head sweetly, wrapping an arm around me. "We’ll
go back to the room and we can wait for the storm to pass. How’s that?" I
managed a nod, hiding my head in his overcoat, trying to block any noise from
passing into my ear canals and into my truly demented mind. "I’m right
here," he reassured me as we made our way towards our room. "I…uh, I
had no idea, Antoinette."
"It’s okay," I said
softly, clinging to him as tightly as I could, trying not to step on his feet
as we kept on walking. "You didn’t know."
"I didn’t ask." I
managed a sigh.
"It’s not everyday you meet
someone with a stupid fear of thunder."
"It’s not stupid," he
said, trying to sound pleasant, "nothing that you fear is dumb. It’s a
fear for you and that makes it important." More thunder and I let out
another scream. "Antoinette, I’m not going anywhere," Harry told me
confidently. "I’m not going to let anything happen to you." The worst
part of it all? My father was always the one who comforted me during these
storms and he used to say the same thing. And in truth, I can hardly breathe
without him.