EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST
Chapter Thirty-Seven

"Antoinette?" I refused to open my eyes. I’m too tired, I am just too exhausted. Whatever it is, it can wait. "Antoinette, I think we’re here." Apparently, this can’t wait. What’s he babbling about?

"Where?" I asked softly, snuggling closer to my pillow.

"New York."

"New York?" I mumbled, confused. Where’s New York?

"New York, New York," he laughed, "New York City, Sleeping Beauty!" Oh, that New York. There’s only one. I ignored him, getting even closer to my pillow and stopped—when I realized that my pillow has a heartbeat. Oh, that’s not normal. I forced myself to open one eye and then the other. I quickly looked around.

Oh, I’m back in that room the nice stewardess had let me stay in. Well, although my memory seems awfully fuzzy now, I remember coming in here last night after Harry and I had roamed the deck half the night, but we were so tired, we retired in here. "Ann?" I looked down at my feet and saw two familiar legs beside me. Harry. Had to be. It sure as Hell wasn’t Bruce Ismay. I glanced up at him momentarily and he was laying beside me, half-awake himself, his officer’s hat over his eyes. So, I suppose we fell asleep in here. Oh, the scandal! The gossip, even!

"Why hello there," he laughed at me, myself still laying on top of his chest. His uniform is so wrinkly, I now notice. Alright, he needs a new uniform, I think, by now—or it needs to be dry-cleaned badly. I didn’t move from my spot, my right ear hearing nothing by his steady heartbeats and breaths. How comforting this is. It’s nice to know he has a pulse. He ran his hand up and down my back once or twice, trying to get me awake, kissing me on the cheek.

"Hi, Harry," I yawned, rubbing my eyes. "Okay, you must be so uncomfortable."

"No, not really." I looked up at him, managing to sit up, his arm around me dropping to his side. "It’s not everyday I wake up to someone as beautiful as you." I laughed out loud to that.

"Too early, my friend, too early for compliments!" I joked, brushing a few stray stands of hair from my eyes. "I’m surprised I didn’t crush you." He sat up to face me, shaking his head.

"No, you’re a petite little thing. But, I must admit, you look like a porcelain doll when you’re asleep. I didn’t even want to wake you up!" I smiled.

"Then, why did you?"

"I think we’re in New York. If not, we should be getting into the harbor any minute now, anyway…" His voice trailed off as he looked down at his watch before me.

"Your watch is wrong," I reminded him, taping on the glass timepiece. "Remember?"

"I had it fixed." He paused, before saying with a smile, "Probably while you were breaking Ismay’s nose." I laughed at that. "Besides, the engines stopped." I stopped moving around, listening closely—and sure enough, the familiar noises of the ship had vanished. "Come on," he urged, "we’ll go see."

"Go see what?" I questioned. He stood up from the bed, fixing his uniform, attempting to straighten it as much as he possibly could.

"We’ll go and see if we’re close."

"Oh, Harry, what about the gossip?" I suddenly gasped at him. "I couldn’t possibly face anyone I know on deck!" I smiled.

"What gossip?" he asked, clueless.

"We were in here all night." I emphasized on the last two words as he pulled me up and off of the bed.

"And you point is?" he asked, with a smirk, pulling me with a kiss.

"The scandal!" I laughed. "As if someone would notice." If only my mother knew I had spent the night with a gentleman caller. She would throw any available, sharp object at me if she knew. She would inevitably kill the "gentleman caller" and throw his body into the ocean, to never be seen or heard from again. Oh, she’ll find out. It’s just a matter of time.

"Come on, Ann." He took my hand. "If we’re not in New York, maybe we can see the harbor." He smiled. "Or, maybe we’ll get to see the Statue of Liberty."

"It’s a statue of some woman," I yawned, with a laugh. "What else is there to see?"

"It’s a national landmark, Antoinette!" he laughed, beginning to drag me towards the door before opening it.

"Harry, I don’t care about some national landmark! I’m tired!"

"You need fresh air," he decided over his shoulder as we began to walk down a hallway, before swinging a left.

"Do you even have an idea of where you’re going?" I laughed.

"Actually…" His voice trailed off.

"Should I take that as a yes or no?" I questioned.

"Take it as you want!" he laughed, continuing down the corridor. Well, every hallway we’ve been down is empty. Curious, maybe even peculiar. I know for a fact we’re not the only ones on the Carpathia—we could, however, be the only ones roaming about this early in the morning.

"What time is it, anyway?" I asked him.

"My watch is wrong, remember?" he joked with me.

"Harry…" My voice trailed off as we continued down the hallway, before going up a flight of stairs, and then another. "I am not trained in taking stairs!" I breathed, laughing.

"Consider it training!" he laughed, not looking over at me. I couldn’t stop giggling, and neither could Harry. This is ridiculous! We’re running through some ship we don’t know, and we’re acting as if we own the place. We went down a few more hallways and ended up taking a right, towards a door to the outside. He pulled me out onto Carpathia’s deck, and his shoulders somewhat slumped. People were walking about and I immediately looked for any sign of intelligent life off of this ship. Nothing. Just water.

"Okay, we’re not there yet," I sighed.

"No, I guess not," he replied. That’s when I heard a rumble and looking down at my feet, I saw the planks of the deck shudder. Then, I heard the gurgling of the engines begin to start and glancing over my shoulder, Carpathia’s one funnel began to smoke. "Why did they stop the engines, then?" he asked aloud, to no one in particular. Who knows. I shrugged a shoulder.

"Ran out of coal?" I suggested weakly. That’s when raindrops began to fall from the sky, but I ignored them. They’re slight and small. Whatever seems to be brewing doesn’t have a chance at this point, no matter how gray the sky looks.

"I have no idea. Charles told me today we would get to New York—"

"Delays happen." He stood there, almost disappointed. "Harry, we’ll get there," I promised him. "If not now, later." It’s not like we’re so far away, we’re just close. Close enough to make everyone, including Harry, extremely anxious.

As for myself? I’m not sure if I’m anxious or merely weary of leaving the Carpathia. I’d love to get onto solid ground again, away from water—but, I don’t know if I can handle going into New York. I’m sure there’s already been such a commotion about Titanic, if they even know. Does anyone know? Of course they do! Why else would they have Harold Bride working?

"Harry?" I squeezed his hand as the rain began to fall harder and harder around us. I suppose I was wrong on this account to. It’s going to storm. As long as there’s no thunder, I’m okay— "It’s going to pour!" I tugged on his hand, trying to get his attention. He seems to be in his own little world. I need him with me, not on another planet!

"Oh." He stopped, looking down at me. "Oh, oh! I’m sorry, where am I? Come on, let’s get you inside." He wrapped an arm around me and we ended up back inside, where a few other passengers, that I didn’t recognize, spoke amongst themselves, pretending not to watch us. Well, they are watching and right now, I could care less.

"Harry, is there something the matter?" I asked him curiously. He smiled down at me.

"Why would there be, Love?"

"You seem so…anxious."

"Well, I am. Aren’t you?" I shrugged a shoulder. Kind of, I am.

"I suppose."

"You suppose?" he asked skeptically, hiding a smile. "Antoinette!" he laughed.

"Harry, I don’t know. It’s too early to be asking me something like that—"

"It’s the middle of the afternoon," he stated.

"See? Too early!" I gestured to the hallway we had come here from. "I’m ready to go back to sleep. I am exhausted and—"

"Are you hungry?" he asked me suddenly. I glanced down at my empty stomach, forced in by my dumb corset. It didn’t even growl, but sure, I could take something to eat right about now.

"Somewhat. You?" He shrugged a shoulder.

"Kind of. Food is something we can talk about," he laughed. Now, in my mind, thunder never happens, but I just heard a tiny growl and it wasn’t my stomach. It was from the outside. I am trying in vain not to panic, but now, the thunder seems to bolt around me and I jumped immediately. Okay, Antoinette and thunder are never a good combination! I’m deathly afraid of thunder and lightening, did I ever mention that? I never had to—It hasn’t really rained this hard before! As if this whole experience hasn’t been frightening enough. Now, I’ve got thunder to deal with? Great, just fantastic!

Lightening flashed through the windows and a loud crash, the same almost failing sound I had heard when Titanic cracked in half, echoed through the room and I screamed. I could feel all eyes on me and I covered my eyes with my hand, beginning to walk into the hallway, where Harry and I had come from merely minutes before. I need to get back into my room, so I can calm my nerves. I’ll cover the window with a blanket and—

"Antoinette?" Harry pulled me out of my mind and I glanced at him. He’s following me, puzzled. Another crack of thunder and I jumped, running into Harry’s arms, hiding my face in his chest. "Ann, what is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost! It’s just, it’s just thunder."

"I am absolutely…" I gulped, trying to calm down my rapidly beating heart. "…Petrified of thunder."

"Are you, now?" he asked. "I never would’ve guessed." He managed a smile as I looked up at him. His smile faded when he saw me. I must look petrified, because, well, I am. "Ann."

"Seriously, Harry, I—" Another rumble as I got closer to him. "I’m terrified."

"The thunder’s not going to hurt you," he tried to reassure me.

"I know, I know…" My eyes welled up with tears. I don’t want to have a panic attack, not here, in the middle of some ship corridor!

"Alright, alright, Love." He kissed my head sweetly, wrapping an arm around me. "We’ll go back to the room and we can wait for the storm to pass. How’s that?" I managed a nod, hiding my head in his overcoat, trying to block any noise from passing into my ear canals and into my truly demented mind. "I’m right here," he reassured me as we made our way towards our room. "I…uh, I had no idea, Antoinette."

"It’s okay," I said softly, clinging to him as tightly as I could, trying not to step on his feet as we kept on walking. "You didn’t know."

"I didn’t ask." I managed a sigh.

"It’s not everyday you meet someone with a stupid fear of thunder."

"It’s not stupid," he said, trying to sound pleasant, "nothing that you fear is dumb. It’s a fear for you and that makes it important." More thunder and I let out another scream. "Antoinette, I’m not going anywhere," Harry told me confidently. "I’m not going to let anything happen to you." The worst part of it all? My father was always the one who comforted me during these storms and he used to say the same thing. And in truth, I can hardly breathe without him.

Chapter Thirty-Eight
Stories