EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST
Chapter Forty-Three

The Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. Its’ located on Fifth Avenue in New York City, and is probably one of the stuffiest hotels I have ever been in. Then again, this is New York—everything is either for royalty or for the slums. As it is, I was lucky to get this information out of Harry on the way to the hotel via taxi cab. He refused to say a word, until I threatened to throw my engagement ring out the window. Then and only then did he tell me where we were going.

I know the history of this place. Even though I’ve never been, I remember my father discussing it one night over dinner. I think he said the whole project started out as two hotels. I remember him distinctively saying one hotel belonged to John Jacob Astor…God rest his soul. I wonder if he survived, but then again…first-class men were never allowed on the lifeboats. And trust me, I remember that much. Either way, one hotel was open by his cousin, the other by him. I guess his cousin ended up building the hotel next to a family member’s home and so on and so on. I suppose it doesn’t really matter, but it seems pretty coincidental that a Titanic passenger built the hotel that is now being used to investigate the disaster.

Going up the elevator towards the room the man at the desk told us to, I barely uttered a word. I have to learn how to walk with these crutches eventually, and it’s a lot harder than it looks. I’m keeping my concentration on that task. Harry kept eyeing me, making sure I didn’t fall and he practically kept his right arm wrapped around me the entire time we had to walk. He joked that he could carry me, and I almost put him up to the offer, but decided against it. I should only be like this for a few weeks, and then I’ll be able to walk again. I don’t want to break the man’s back.

We followed the chatter when we left the elevator to the end of a long, carpeted hallway—a hallway with white-washed walls, and little lit lanterns, even though the sun was shining through the windows. It looks a lot like Titanic’s interior, first-class. I refused to let my mind wander back that far…but it looked like the hallway Harry and I had run through to get away from Ismay, where I had found that little boy, where my father told me it was time to go. I shook my head of the thought, glancing quickly into the room where we stood to the far right. Rows and rows of pews filled the room, it looks to almost be a church, but maybe it’s not. Maybe they’re just chairs. My eyesight is awful, I know.

"We on time?" I asked Harry as we stopped our walking. I leaned against the doorway, and also on the crutches for support. He looked down at his watch, nodding.

"And with five minutes to spare!"

"Hey, Ann! Lowe!" Coming out of one of the rows of seats was Molly Brown, with Officer Charles Lightoller behind her. She had this enormous smile on her face and so did Lightoller. She ran towards me and when she reached me, she wrapped her arms around me into a tight hug—as if we were long-lost classmates. "Oh, how are you?" she asked, with a smile. "Besides the crutches, that is. Hurt yourself already?" I nodded, admitting defeat.

"Dumb area carpets," I said, rolling my eyes as Molly hugged a startled Harry. "But, I’m alright. You?" Oh, I’m better than alright! I’m grand!

"Never better!"

"Hello, Antoinette," Lightoller said, tipping his hat to me after shaking hands with Harry. I managed a smile.

"Hi."

"So, what did you do?" Molly asked, gesturing to the crutches. "Break your foot, break your leg, what?"

"Sprained my ankle."

"Did that hurt or what?" Lightoller asked, with a small smile.

"Oh, it hurt." I brushed a few strands of hair from my eyes and that’s when Molly whistled, taking my hand unexpectedly.

"And what’s this we have here?" she asked me, pointing to my engagement ring. "Look at this beauty!" she said to Lightoller, nudging him before gesturing to my ring. I glanced at Harry, who was turning a deep red. She whistled as Lightoller took my hand, moving it back and forth to get a good look at the diamonds. He whistled himself, impressed.

"Well, look at that!" he laughed, slapping Harry proudly on the shoulder. "About damn time, my friend! About damn time!"

"Charles—"

"She’s perfect for you! Keeps you on your toes! Never seen a woman in my life play poker the way this one does—"

"Poker?" Molly interrupted, raising an eyebrow. Lightoller bit his lower lip, as if he knew the jig was up. She laughed, slapping him on the arm. "Oh, I’m kidding! I’ve always been a card girl myself." She then gestured to Harry, pointing to my hand, which she was still holding onto with a tight grip. "Well, Officer, you’ve got good taste." She glanced at me. "My husband would never buy me something like this."

"He doesn’t realize how good he has it," I smiled. It’s true. Margaret Brown is lively, vivacious, she’s a wonderful woman. She’s someone who isn’t phony, she’s just who she is and if you’ve got a problem with it, well, that’s just too bad.

"Ann said the same thing," Harry said, "I thought it was nice." He shrugged, sticking his hands in his coat pockets, as if he was still embarrassed.

"Oh, Hell, it’s better than nice!" Lightoller laughed. "I’ve never seen so many diamonds in all my life." I suppose he hasn’t ever seen or met the Countess of Rothes. The diamonds that woman has—incredible. I love my ring, either way. I looked down at it and it seemed to gleam back up at me. Harry picked it out for me and only me. It’s something I will always cherish. "Plus, Harry, she’s beautiful—"

"I get it, I get it!" Harry laughed. "I lucked out!"

"You two want cigars so you can brag outside?" Molly asked, squeezing my hand. "Either way, Antoinette." She turned back to me. "The ring’s absolutely beautiful. Just don’t let him go cheap on you after you two get married." If she only knew how much he has already bought for me, how much he’s already spoiled me…I don’t need anything. I laughed at her comment, merely because of the way she said it. She was dead-serious. "You two are going to be happy."

"I hope so," I admitted. I have no doubts.

"Well, if Officer Lowe here could get you out of that shell of yours, he deserves to marry you!" She laughed, probably recalling her unsuccessful attempt to try to get me to talk to her—when I first met Harry. "You sure you didn’t keel over when he proposed?" she kidded.

"That was before," I reassured her. I was surprised, sure, but I didn’t keel over. Thankfully, I was sitting. If I hadn’t been, I might’ve fallen over. Actually…I was very surprised, but how could I say no to him? He was the one man I truly could imagine spending the rest of my life with.

"Either way, congratulations to you both!" Molly said, with a smile.

"Yes, congratulations!" Lightoller agreed. "So…" His voice trailed off, "when are you two lovebirds getting this all legalized?" He leaned against the doorway of the room we all should be in by now, in eager anticipation. I glanced at Harry, who still looked beet red and we both began to speak, but stopped. We chuckled to each other at that, but in reality…I shrugged.

"I have no idea," I admitted.

"As quick and as painlessly as possible would be your best bet," Molly said, with a sturdy nod. "Engagements shouldn’t be long."

"Well, what if I get sick of him?" I asked her, before beginning to laugh. She smiled and Lightoller began to laugh.

"If you get sick of him, I’ll marry you," Lightoller promised, holding out his hand in offering.

"Why, thank you—" I went to take his hand as a joke, but Harry grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me tightly, squeezing me.

"Charlie, I don’t think she’d ever be that desperate!" he laughed to Lightoller.

"Well, she agreed to marry you…And besides, I think Antoinette Lightoller has a nice ring to it!" he exclaimed, howling in laughter.

"Well, I think Antoinette Lowe has a nicer ring to it!" At that point, we were all roaring with laughter. Harry had a good way of hiding it, though—he merely hid his fits of happiness into my shoulder and into my hair. I hope he doesn’t poke his eye out with that hair comb.

"Harry, you’re going to make my sprain my other ankle!" I managed to say between my giggles as he held onto me, tighter than before. We shouldn’t be laughing this early, we shouldn’t be laughing when we’re all here about something serious, but I can’t help it. Harry has a lock on me, as if he thinks I’m going to throw my engagement ring out the window and crutch off with Charles Lightoller…into the sunset. Never. I love Harry too much.

"Alright, alright, children!" Molly laughed, stepping between Harry, Lightoller and myself to stop a comical brawl. "Either way," she said, clearing her throat, "it’s nice to know something pleasant came of Titanic. Isn’t it?" She shot a look at Lightoller, who nodded. I tensed up at the sound of Titanic. Oh, Titanic—I try to put that damn ship out of my mind for merely a moment and I just, I just can’t. My father’s Titanic. Harry must’ve felt my shoulders tense up, for he put his cheek to mine, pulling me out of any thoughts of that ship—before kissing me on the cheek.

"Why don’t we go inside?" he suggested into my ear. "Make sure we have somewhere to sit?" He shot a look at both Lightoller and Molly. She glanced at me, heartbroken—as if she had struck a chord. It’s not her fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. Well, no, I’m lying. I blame Bruce Ismay for this whole catastrophe, the alcoholic.

"Everyone here for the Titanic Inquiry, please take your seats!" shouted an unfamiliar voice. We all glanced into the room and standing towards the front looked to be a very well-dressed man, a Bible in his hand. "You four coming in?" he yelled, agitated, gesturing to us. Of course, everyone already seated felt the need to glare at us suspiciously and there was some light muttering. We all managed a slight nod and began our way in. The back row was the only one that wasn’t taken, so Molly, Lightoller, myself and Harry took our seats, in that order. Harry helped me sit and now, what am I supposed to do with these crutches?

"Here, Love," Harry said, holding out his hands for them, "Let me have them." I gave them to him and he took my crutches, strategically leaning them against this empty chair, to his right. "How’s that?"

"Fine."

"Guards, shut the doors!" This man really wants to take charge. I think he actually considered locking us all out. I glanced over my shoulder and two uniformed police officers were shutting the doors that we had just gone through. They stood together, where the doors met, now crossing their arms over their chest. "Hello, ladies and gentlemen," the man at the front of the room said, clearing his throat. "Can everyone hear me?"

There were nods unanimous across the large room as his echoed voice faded. I looked about me. Behind whoever this man was, was what looked to be a desk and then to either side of him, were more desks. Every chair was occupied. And now, looking through the crowd, I can see some of Titanic’s surviving officers, in their uniforms, along with people who must’ve been on the ship. I merely suggest this because their eyes all look sunken in and look just as sad as I am.

"Okay, then." The man pointed to himself. "I am Senator William Smith. We are here to inquire and investigate the Titanic disaster…" I rolled my eyes, tugging on Harry’s sleeve.

"Iceberg, anyone?" I whispered into his ear. He hid his impending laughter, but smiled. It’s not funny, I know, but this is absolutely ridiculous. There was an iceberg. Titanic hit the iceberg, a lot of people died and that was it. A lot of people. I sighed, holding back my tears. A lot of people, a lot of people I didn’t know, a lot of people I did know. My father. Will. Henry Wilde. Captain Smith. Titanic’s brave crew and even the passengers, no one deserved to die that way. It was too cold, an awful way to leave this world. It wasn’t right.

"I will not take any shenanigans or speaking during this inquiry!" the Senator shouted angrily, eyeing me. Harry looked down at me and his eyes widened. We both tried not to laugh, but straightened up, to make it seem like we were listening. We’re not. Harry fixed my ring meticulously, managing a smile at me before taking my hands. "Now that I have everyone’s attention, let me say how much I appreciate all of the people who came to testify." Well, nobody had a choice, you idiot, you subpoenaed everyone. "I know how many of you want to just return home and be with your families, so let’s try to make this as painless as possible." He doesn’t care. And why should he? He doesn’t know. He wasn’t there. I watched intently as this Senator retrieved a folded piece of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it quickly and straightening it, he looked about the crowd. "The first witness I’d like to call to the stand is Mister Bruce Ismay."

Chapter Forty-Four
Stories