LOVE THAT NEVER FADES
Chapter Twenty-One
Dwelling on the Past
The sun had already set when Jack
and Rose pulled away from their kiss. Rose smiled, leaning against Jack’s chest
and watching the sun disappearing over the horizon. The stars twinkled brighter,
the waves crashing on the shore. The breeze grew colder, while Rose’s curls
flew behind her. Jack guided the horse away from the surf, stopping a few feet
away. Jack placed his arms around Rose’s waist, while she looked up at him, her
eyes sparkling with happiness and love. Jack smiled, bringing his hand onto her
face, his thumb gently caressing her porcelain cheek. The gentle breeze played
with their hair while they smiled at each other. Jack pressed his lips against
her forehead before he got off the horse. Taking the reins in his hands, he
slowly led the horse back towards the stable, Rose still on the horse. Once
they reached the stable, Jack stopped the horse and went to Rose’s side,
holding out his arms to help her down. Rose smiled, bringing her arms around
his neck, holding onto him tightly when he got her off the horse safely.
Rose was safely on the ground,
her arms still around Jack’s neck. Her face was craned up, looking into Jack’s
piercing blue eyes. Jack’s arms were around her waist, while he looked at her
with loving eyes. Rose’s hands went to his cheeks, her thumbs gently running
over them and feeling Jack’s skin against her own. Her eyes stared into his,
while Jack held her close to him, as if protecting her from all the dangers the
world had to offer. Rose’s fingers ran through Jack’s tousled hair, removing it
from his eyes, a smile appearing on his face. Rose smiled back, pressing her
lips against his, her hand going to the back of his head and her fingers gently
running through every strand of hair. Jack’s hands traveled up her back,
feeling the breeze blow her hair to the side, along with her dress. Jack’s
hands held onto her, pressing her against himself, feeling the gentle warmth
creeping through him while their kiss grew more intense.
Rose’s other arm went around his
back, their lips brushing against each other‘s. They didn’t notice that the
moon had risen up in the dark sky, giving them light as their kiss became
loving and intense. Rose’s chest was heaving when their lips grew closer
together, when Jack moved his face closer to Rose’s, wrapping his arms around
her, while Rose’s arms came around his back. Rose’s face was craned up, their
lips connected. After a minute passed by, they pulled apart, but were still in
each other’s arms. Rose’s face was still craned up, and Jack was still looking
at her. Jack’s hands gently caressed her back while he smiled at her. The
moonlight illuminated her beauty, making him fall in love with her all over
again.
When Rose looked at him, she
found that his eyes had grown darker under the moonlight, which illuminated his
features, making him more handsome than he already was. Rose felt her knees
growing weak and her heart beating rapidly, falling in love with Jack again.
Knowing why she had fallen in love with him in the first place. A smile played
upon her lips, her eyes gazing into his with love and admiration while she was
in his arms, protected and safe by the man she loved. Rose felt Jack’s hands
caressing her red curls. His thumb gently pressed against her cheek, while the
rest of his fingers were around her fiery red curls, curling up against his
fingers. Rose smiled, resting her head against his chest while his steady
heartbeat played in her ear. A smile came across her face, listening to the rhythm
of his heartbeat. She felt Jack’s chin on top of her head, his arms wrapping
tighter around her while Rose’s arms circled around Jack’s waist.
"Uh...excuse me..."
Henry said, his face growing pink. Jack and Rose looked at him, seeing that his
face was pink from embarrassment. "Are y-you f-finished with B-Buttercup
there?" Henry pointed at the beige horse. Jack smiled.
"Yeah," Jack said,
slipping his hand into his pocket, taking out a dollar bill, and handing it to
him. "Here you go..." Jack gave him the money.
"Th-thank you," Henry
said, smiling nervously.
"No problem," Jack
said, smiling at him. He watched as Henry took Buttercup’s reins and led her
back into the stable, closing the doors behind him. Jack and Rose could not
hold back their laughter any longer. They doubled over in laughter, walking
away from the stable and holding hands. "Did you see his face?" Jack
laughed. "Did you see the way he looked at us?" Rose laughed with
him, stopping in front of him, holding both of his hands in her own and smiling
brightly at him. Jack looked at her, smiling at her, his eyes shining with love
and admiration. They stood quietly, looking at each other with their eyes
shining brightly. Jack’s hands came down to Rose’s waist while his face came
closer to hers, bringing Rose into a loving kiss. They wrapped their arms
tightly around each other. Their lips stayed connected as the breeze hit
against them, causing Rose’s hair to dance in the wind and her dress to flutter
in the wind.
A moment passed when their lips disconnected,
when their faces were a mere inch apart, when their eyes locked into each other
in a loving gaze. They could feel their breath against each other’s faces,
their chests heaving to catch their breath after the kiss they had shared.
Rose’s hands moved against his chest, clutching his shirt. His hands moved onto
Rose’s shoulders, gently rubbing them in an attempt to warm her against the
cool breeze that was blowing against them. The moon was high in the black sky,
stars twinkling, filling the night with beauty and light. They heard the waves
crash against the shore, filling them with the sounds of nature. Rose craned
her face up, looking at her husband, her ruby lips curving into a loving smile.
"Shouldn’t we be heading
back?" Rose asked. "It’s dark." Jack smiled.
"I suppose we should,"
Jack said, holding Rose’s hand. Rose smiled at him, leaving the beach and
heading back towards the hotel they were staying in. Once they entered the
hotel, they went up to their hotel room, getting ready for bed. Rose took off
her shoes, putting them aside. She took off her dress, putting it on a chair by
the window. Rose walked towards the wooden box they had brought and took out a
nightgown. Rose slipped on the nightgown, walking towards the dresser, brushing
her hair and untangling every fiery red curl. When she was finished, she put
her brush down, walking towards the bed and getting under the covers. Jack was
taking off his heavy boots and slipping his suspenders off his shoulders,
allowing them to hang down around his legs. Jack took off his shirt, showing
his chest. He dropped the shirt on the floor and unbuttoned his pants, slipping
them off as well. Jack walked towards the bed, climbing under the covers beside
Rose. "Good night, Rose." Jack kissed her before lying down against
his pillow. Rose smiled, laying against her pillow.
Suddenly, Rose remembered Jack’s
gift, which was lying in the closet. Rose sat upright, uncovering herself, and
walked towards the closet, slowly opening the squeaky door. She heard Jack sit
up, probably looking confused as to why Rose had gotten up so suddenly. Rose
took the bag, taking out the wrapped package and walking back to her side of
the bed. She covered herself, laying the package in her lap. Jack looked at
her, a confused expression on his face. Rose just smiled at him. She looked at
the package, praying to herself that Jack would love it just as much as he had
loved his old one. The one he had had on the Titanic. She looked at him, her
eyes meeting with his. She had a warm smile on her face.
"Jack," Rose said,
finding her voice. She leaned against the headboard. "This is my wedding
gift to you." Rose handed him the wrapped package.
"Oh, Rose, you didn’t have
to..." Jack began.
"No...I wanted to,"
Rose said.
"I didn’t even get a chance
to get you your wedding present," Jack said.
"You don’t have to,"
Rose said. "You’re all I need in my life. There’s nothing in this world
that would ever make me as happy as you do. You’re everything to me, Jack. I
don’t need anything for you to make me happy."
"But how am I--" Jack
began.
"Jack, just open it,"
Rose said, smiling. "You’ll love it...trust me." Jack smiled at her.
"I trust you," Jack
said, looking at her once more before ripping the wrapping paper from the box.
Once he had, he opened the box, coming across a print from his favorite
artist--Monet. Smiling, Jack took the print out of the box, looking at the
magnificent color that Monet had used. Jack ran his artist’s fingers over the
colors of the print, a small smile coming across his face. "Rose, y-you
didn’t have to get me this..."
"I wanted to, Jack,"
Rose said. "Besides, there’s more."
"More?" Jack asked,
looking at her. Rose nodded.
"Look in the box," Rose
said. Jack smiled and did what he was told. He took out a thin sheet of paper from
the box, coming across a brown leather portfolio. Jack looked at Rose with a
small smile. He looked at the box, taking the portfolio out of it. He found
that the portfolio had a strap, where he could tie it together, and at the
front, there was a string, where it held the pouch of artists’ tools. Tears
welled up in his eyes, looking at Rose. He hadn’t drawn anything since the
night of April 14, 1912, when he had drawn Rose in the nude. The portfolio he
had in his hands now looked better than the one he had had before, and he
treasured it more now, since it came from his beloved wife. He looked at her
and smiled brightly.
"Thank you so much,
Rose," Jack said, his voice choked from his upcoming tears. "You
don’t know how much this means to me." Rose smiled.
"Look inside the
portfolio," Rose said. Jack looked at her and smiled. He untied the two
straps, opening the portfolio and finding blank sheets of paper waiting to be
drawn on. He smiled. He looked at the inside of the portfolio cover and found a
message embossed into it.
Dearest Jack,
Before I met you, I felt
miserable, trapped, and used. When I boarded the Titanic, I felt as if I was
going to America in chains, on a slave ship. I felt as if nobody cared, or even
noticed me. When I first laid eyes on you that morning, I had this feeling in
the pit of my stomach, as if I knew that from then on you’d be mine. That you’d
be my true love. On the night that I was at the end of the ship, I wanted to
end my misery. When you came, I knew my life was about to change. From the
moment I looked into your blue eyes, I fell in love with you. From the moment I
was in your warm embrace, I knew our love would last forever. I knew that you
were the man I should spend the rest of my life with. When we shared our love’s
first kiss at the bow, you completed my heart. You made my love grow stronger
than ever before. From the moment you drew me in the nude, I knew your artistic
talent drew me the way I felt on that day. The moment in the Renault proved to
me how much you really love me--how much you were willing to love me, just as I
loved you. Jack, I will never forget that night for as long as I live. Your
love for me, Jack, means more to me than any jewel in this whole world. You are
my everything, Jack. You saw the best there was in me, and you lifted me up
when I couldn’t reach. You proved to me that I am everything I am, because I
know that you love me. Jack Dawson, you’re my world. You’re my life. Without
you, I would be miserable, with a life not worth living. Jack Dawson, I love
you with all my heart and soul. I love you so much that I can’t even describe
the feelings I have in my heart whenever you enter my mind. Jack Dawson, you
are my true love. You are my husband, and I’m glad that you are. For I can’t
imagine a husband as handsome, as intelligent, as talented, and most of all, as
caring and loving as you are. I love you, Jack Dawson, more than words can ever
say.
With all my love,
Rose Dawson
When Jack finished reading the embossed
words, he looked at his wife, a smile on his face and tears glistening in the
corners of his eyes. He scooted closer to her, putting his hand on the back of
her neck, bringing her closer and pressing his lips against hers. Rose ran her
fingers through Jack’s hair, kissing him back. When they pulled apart, Jack
caressed her cheek softly, gazing into her eyes with love shining in his eyes
and a small, loving smile upon his handsome face. Rose smiled back at him,
running her gentle fingers over his cheeks before putting her hand in her lap.
Jack looked at his gift, running his fingers over the embossed words before
closing it and setting it aside. Once he had, he turned off the lamp and pulled
the covers over him, cuddling up against Rose and kissing her. His hands
fiddled with the buttons on the front of her nightgown.
Rose ran her hands over Jack’s
bare back, pulling him atop her, their mouths still connected in their kiss.
Jack managed to undo the buttons, slipping the top part of the nightgown off her
shoulders. Jack’s lips left Rose’s, kissing her cheek and traveling down her
neck, leaving soft, teasing kisses on Rose’s neck, causing her to giggle.
Jack’s fingers gently brushed against Rose’s soft skin, managing to remove the
gown from Rose’s body. Removing his underwear, he threw the sheets over them,
kissing once more before making love with each other, going up to meet the
stars.
*****
It was the early morning of April
25, 1912 when Rose awakened from her dreamless slumber. Her eyes fluttered open
when the sunshine crept into their hotel room. Jack’s arm was around her
shoulders, while Rose’s head rested upon his bare chest. Rose lifted her head,
looking over the headboard to where the curtains fluttered in the gentle
movement of the cool breeze. Slipping out of Jack’s warm embrace, she picked up
her nightgown, slipping it on, before walking towards the wooden box to take
out fresh, clean clothes. Once she had done so, she left the hotel room to go
to the bathroom, which was across the hall. She turned up the water until it
was warm enough for her. She placed the plug in the drain, letting the tub fill
up with warm water. Once it was full enough for her, she turned off the running
water and took off her nightgown, slowly getting into the tub. She leaned her
head against the end of the tub, the water going just over her chest. Closing
her eyes, Rose relaxed in the warm water, feeling it soothe her body.
Suddenly, she felt a chill run
down her body. She felt cold, as if she were back in the Atlantic Ocean. Her
eyes shone with fear, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She knew the
Titanic would never leave her. She knew she would be stuck with the experience
for as long as she would live. Rose closed her eyes, ducking under the water,
where air bubbles were formed. All of a sudden, she wasn’t in the tub anymore.
She was back in the North Atlantic Ocean, with more than fifteen hundred people
floating close by...some dead, some alive. She lay on the driftwood, Jack’s
frozen hand clutching hers at the side of the board. Stars twinkled high in the
dark sky, while screams were heard from those who were still alive. The
freezing water hit against Rose’s body, while she looked down at her beloved,
who wasn‘t breathing.
Rose opened her eyes, lifting her
head out of the water and letting out a frightened scream. Tears fell from her
eyes, while she shivered against the warm water. She heard voices outside the
door, one of a man, another of a woman, but neither were Jack. She heard
running footsteps, and she heard banging on the door, and a voice calling her
name over and over. Her head shot up against the wooden wall, her eyes going
wide. Her lower lip was trembling, her eyes looking around frantically. She let
out a sorrowful cry, bringing her knees to her chin. She heard the doorknob
turn as someone tried to open it. A few moments later, she heard a key go into
the key hole, the door opening. Rose turned her head to the side, preventing
the person from seeing her. She heard the door close and heard his voice. Her head
lifted up, looking at the owner of the voice. There, she found Jack standing,
looking at her with a worried expression on his face. Rose got up from the tub,
dripping wet, throwing her arms around Jack’s bare back, hugging him close,
tears running down her cheeks and her voice letting out a cry.
Jack’s arms went around her body,
his face buried in her wet curls. Her naked body was pressed against his. His
had put on his underwear when he had heard Rose’s scream. He hadn’t bothered
dressing himself in his other clothing, which still lay on the floor. Rose’s
body shook against his, clutching him and crying. Tears of despair fell from
her eyes, falling onto Jack’s smooth but rough skin. Jack embraced Rose
tightly, his face brushing against Rose’s curls. Jack could feel Rose’s naked
body against his, feeling more of Rose’s tears fall upon his skin when she
buried her face in his chest, holding him close.
"Oh, Jack..." Rose
cried, her voice barely audible from beyond Jack’s chest, her hands caressing
his back, her soft hands brushing against his body.
"Shh," Jack said,
comforting her and holding onto her. "Everything will be fine...I’m
here...don’t cry." Jack gently caressed her wet curls, breathing in the
scent of her fiery red hair. Rose continued to cry against his chest while he
held onto her in hopes of comforting her with his loving arms and protecting
her from the past.
"Jack...oh, Jack..."
Rose cried, lifting her head from his chest, her tear-filled sapphire-emerald
eyes shining with sadness, fear, regret, anger, and love, a mixture of feelings
that dealt with the past and with the present, looking into the eyes of her
beloved husband. "I’m scared...I’m scared, Jack!" Rose sobbed,
looking at his piercing blue eyes.
From the look in her eyes, Jack
knew what she was talking about. Deep down in his soul, he knew that Rose still
dwelled on the past, dwelled on the part where they had witnessed over fifteen
hundred people dying in the freezing depths of the North Atlantic. Both had
been there when the iceberg had struck the ship, and both had been through the
actual sinking, later suffering in the icy cold waters that had swallowed the
Titanic. The shivering of her naked body showed the aftermath of the
sinking...that no matter how much they dreaded it, no matter how much they
didn’t want to think about it, the Titanic would be with them for the rest of
their lives. Until they drew their last breaths and fulfilled their righteous
vows, the tragedy of the Titanic would never leave them. Jack just hugged her
closer to him to revive her happiness, to make her smile again, to make her
feel happy and not dwell on the past. He wanted Rose to realize that they were
both alive, and that they still had the rest of their lives to live. He didn’t
want her to inhabit the past and make her life more miserable, more depressing,
and cause her to feel more hurt and remorse from what had happened eleven days
earlier.
Jack pulled away just enough to
look into her eyes, and he saw her look down, her face scrunched up in despair.
He ran his fingers through her wet hair, cupping her chin with his hand to lift
her face up. He looked into her eyes and found that more tears were falling
from her sapphire-emerald eyes, the jewels that would always look to him for
love. His thumb gently wiped away every single tear that managed to escape the
jewels, looking at her. He found that she was shivering, so he took a towel
from the rack in the bathroom and wrapped it around her. Lifting her clothes
up, he wrapped his arms around her, allowing her head to lean against his
shoulder. Finding that Rose wasn’t walking normally, he bent down, placing his
arm under her legs while his other held her back, lifting her up from the
ground. He slowly moved to open the door, and once he had, he found the hotel manager,
four guests, and the bellboy looking at him with eyes that shone with
curiosity. Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest
once again, as if she were a small child, afraid of the world, afraid of her
surroundings, of the curiosity that shone in other people’s eyes. Jack looked
from one person to another, eyes shooting daggers at each of them.
"There’s nothing to see
here. Please return to your rooms and do whatever you were doing before you
came here," Jack said, trying to walk past the small crowd of people. The
hotel manager stopped them.
"Uh...excuse me, but don’t
you think you should send her to the hospital?" the hotel manager asked.
"She doesn’t look too good."
"She’s fine," Jack
said. "She’ll be just fine. She just needs some rest. Now, if you’ll
excuse me, I have to head back to my hotel room and get her into bed."
Jack passed the crowd of people and went back to his room, kicking the door
closed as he did so. Jack quickly made his way towards the bed, where he gently
put Rose on it, bringing the covers over her. Jack gently caressed her face,
looking at her. "It’s okay, Rose...everything will be okay." Rose
looked at him.
"Oh, Jack...why won’t the
Titanic leave us alone?" Rose asked, her eyes looking at him, tears falling
from them. "Why can’t we just forget about it?" Jack sat on the edge
of the bed, his hand holding hers.
"Rose," Jack said, his
eyes looking at her. "No matter how much it hurts, the Titanic will always
be with us. We both experienced the tragedy. Therefore, it will be with us
until the day we die."
"But it hurts, Jack!"
Rose cried. "It just hurts, knowing that more than fifteen hundred people
died that night...that so many innocent people perished...many of whom I’d
encountered...and knowing that they died...it kills me. All those people...you
could’ve been one of them...oh, Jack!" Rose cried, covering her face with
her hands, letting all the hurt and pain out with her tears. Jack removed her
hands from her face, lifting her chin with his fingers, forcing her to look at
him. His eyes shone with love and concern, his thumb grazing against her
delicate skin, her tear-filled eyes looking at him.
"I know it hurts,
Rose," Jack said, looking down at her. "But there’s nothing I can do
about it, except to love you." Jack sighed, running his fingers through
his golden hair. "I lost my parents five years ago. They were everything I
had, before I met you, of course. To me, they were the most loving parents any
child could have. Then, the fire happened, and no matter how much I was hurt by
their sudden deaths, there’s nothing in this world that I can do to bring them
back. Just like we can’t do anything to change the fact that the Titanic sank.
That’s the past now. We can only look at it as memories. Maybe some hurtful
memories, but there are some that we might enjoy looking back at."
"Jack, it just...I don’t
know...it just hurts me deep down inside," Rose said, tears escaping her
eyes once more. "Every time I think about it...I feel pain, hurt,
sorrow...and every time I do think about it..." Rose cried, looking at
him. "I see you dying in the freezing waters, and no matter how much I try
to tell myself that you’re alive, I still get haunted by the nightmare..."
"Oh, Rose..." Jack
said, wrapping his arms around her, the sheet covering her. "I’m sorry you
have to suffer through this pain. I wish I could take it away and make you feel
happy again."
"Jack, the only thing you
can do to make me happy is to love me the way you do now," Rose said, her
eyes still wet from her tears. "There’s nothing else in this world that
matters to me."
Jack’s eyes stared into her own
when she said this. He examined her face, which was pale from crying, and her
eyes were red. Her hair was still damp, her body continuing to shiver in the
cool breeze from the window. Noticing this, Jack got up and walked over to the
window, shutting it to prevent the outside breeze from coming inside. When he
had done so, he closed the curtains and walked back towards Rose. Checking the
time on the clock, he found that it was only 8:30 in the morning. Sighing, Jack
picked up the clothes that were on the floor, beginning dressing himself. After
he slipped on his suspenders, he took his boots from the floor and put them on,
beginning to tie the laces together. Once he had completed his task, he looked
up, finding that Rose had drifted into another world--as if she had a lot going
on in her mind. Running his fingers through his hair, he watched her staring
off into space, her face expressionless, holding the sheet close to her.
Rose had drifted into a world of
her own, unaware of the fact that Jack was staring at her worriedly, and
unaware that he had dressed himself in his outer clothing. Rose just held the
sheet close to her body, gazing back into her memories. Back to her
childhood--before the Titanic...before Jack. Before anything that had changed
her life. Before she had found the love of her life. Rose drifted back to her
old life, childhood memories overtaking her mind, reviving the precious moments
of her high society life. Of her rich childhood, of her father’s recent death,
of traveling on the ship of dreams with the man she dreaded, but had learned to
forgive. She could say she missed her old life--her life in high society, but
she swore to herself that she would never go back. That her love for Jack was
much stronger than any money that the world could offer. Even though she had
befriended Cal, she still wouldn’t return to her old life. Even though Michael
Calvert had deposited one hundred thousand dollars in their bank account, she
still wouldn’t go back to her old life. To the life that ruled her for over
seventeen years. The life that had only given her misery and hurt. To the life
that would soon disappear into a life that she would enjoy. Into the arms of her
beloved husband, who she had met aboard the so-called unsinkable ship. Her mind
drifted to her early teen years. To when she was thirteen, when her father had
taken her horseback riding in a Philadelphia park, just outside of their
mansion.
*****
It was early in the morning, on
the wonderful day of June 15, 1908, and thirteen-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater
and her father, William Bukater, were about to go horseback riding in a park in
Philadelphia, which was just outside of the mansion that they lived in. Rose
wore a lavender dress, which wasn’t as elegant as the other dresses she had,
with a matching ribbon in her hair. She watched as her father took Brownie,
Rose’s brown horse, out of the stable, as well as Wisdom, his white horse.
Rose’s horse had a sidesaddle on it, while William’s had a regular saddle.
William walked over to his daughter, helping her up onto the horse, Rose taking
hold of the reins. William smiled at her, walking over to his horse and
climbing on.
"So, Rosebud, are you
ready?" William asked. Rose turned her head and smiled at her father.
"Yes, Father. I’m
ready," Rose said, her fiery red curls blowing in the gentle breeze. Her
father smiled, gently kicking his horse. Rose did the same, and both were
riding along the pathway that led to the woods. Beyond the woods, there was a
beautiful lake, where Rose and her father would spend time together before
Rose’s mother awoke from her slumber. They knew the exact time Ruth DeWitt
Bukater woke up, which was 9:30, the latest in the household. Rose’s father was
a few yards ahead of her, while Rose laughed, trying to catch up. They went
through the woods, the horses’ hooves crushing twigs, crunching on dry leaves,
and sped through the warm air. They came to the end of the woods to be greeted
by a beautiful blue lake with various flowers growing beside it. William
stopped his horse and got off, tying the reins to a branch nearby. He went
towards Rose to help her down.
Once Rose was on her own two feet,
William tied her reins to a branch, as well, then held her hand, leading her
towards a boulder, where both of them sat to watch the sun rise over the lake.
Rose watched as seagulls made their morning calls to the other seagulls, and
watched as some had landed on the water, floating across the blue lake. Rose
looked at her father and found him looking at her, smiling. Rose smiled back,
and leaned her head against her father’s chest.
"Daddy?" Rose asked,
looking up.
"Yes, Rosie?" William
asked, looking at his daughter.
"Are you going to walk me
down the aisle when I marry?" Rose asked.
"Why, of course!"
William said. "What kind of a father would I be if I didn’t?" Rose
smiled at him. "Why would you ask such a question?"
"Oh, nothing," Rose
said, looking at her father with smiling eyes. "I just wanted to know.
That’s all."
"Don’t you worry, my
beautiful flower. I’ll be there when you marry. I’m not going anywhere. I
promise," William said. Rose smiled and threw her arms around him.
"I love you, Daddy!"
Rose smiled, holding her father close to her.
"I love you, too,
Rosie," William said, wrapping his arms around her. "I will always
love you."
"How come Mother doesn’t
love me?" Rose asked.
"Rosie, your mother loves
you," William said, shocked to hear this from his daughter. "She
loves you very much. It’s just that...she...well, she just can’t say it, but
she does show it."
"How, Daddy?" Rose
asked, sitting up straighter. "Mother has never said she loves me like you
do. All she cares about is money." William sighed, finding it hard to
debate his daughter, since most of what she was saying was true. Ruth did care
about money, but he knew that she loved Rose just as much as he did. He just
hoped that Rose could see that...and that Ruth could actually tell Rose that
she loved her.
"Rose, your mother...she
just doesn’t realize how much she loves you, to express her feelings towards
you. You’re very precious to us, Rose, and we would do anything to protect you
from the dangers of the world," William said.
"I know, Daddy. But I just
wish that Mother would say those words to me. Sometimes I feel as if I’m a bad
child to her. And Daddy, I’m very nice to her. You know that. I listen to
everything she tells me, and I even try to act the same way she does...I try to
walk straight like her, and eat like her. I try everything to make her notice
how much I love her, but she doesn’t see it, Daddy. She doesn’t," Rose
said, looking at her hands. William cupped her chin, lifting her head up to
force her to look into his eyes.
"My sweet Rose, I know your
mother loves you. She has done many things to give you a happy childhood,"
William said.
"But Daddy, I want her to
say that she loves me," Rose said, getting up and turning to face her
father. "Don’t you understand how important it is for Mother to say that
she loves me? I want to have two loving parents, not one. Sometimes I wish I
never had a mother at all." Rose turned around and crossed her arms, tears
threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Oh, Rose..." William
said, getting up, wrapping his arms around his daughter, and bringing her face
to his chest when she cried into his shirt.
"Oh, Daddy!" Rose
cried, clutching his shirt. "I love her. I love Mother so much. I’m just
afraid that she doesn’t love me."
"She does, sweetie,"
William said, caressing her red curls. "I know she does." William
looked at his daughter, whose tear-filled eyes glistened with hurt. Sighing, he
wiped the tears away with his fingers. "How about we return to the mansion
and I get you some breakfast?" Rose smiled and nodded. "Let’s go,
Rosie." William led her towards her horse, where he lifted her up and put
her in her sidesaddle. William untied the reins and handed them to his
daughter, going over to his horse, untying the reins from the branch, and hopping
onto the horse, then turning it and galloping away from the lake. Rose did the
same, staying close behind her father until they reached the stable. Rose
managed to get off her horse on her own and put the horse inside the stable.
Once she put Brownie in her own stall, she left the stable and found her father
leaning against a tree that was a couple of yards away. Rose smiled, making her
way towards him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, while his arms went
around her shoulders, and both walked towards their mansion to spend the
morning together.
*****
It was the morning of December
24, 1910. Rose stared at her reflection. She wore a red dress, the sleeves off
her shoulders, the dress floor-length. Her hair was up and she had a locket
around her neck. A locket that her father had given her when she was a baby.
For the past year, her father had been severely ill. He had been in bed for
most of the year with maids tending to him and the doctor visiting daily. Her
father had been diagnosed with leukemia in February, and he had been bedridden
since then. The doctor knew that he didn’t have much time to live, since his
body was too weak to fight off the cancer. They were running out of money with
the medical bills. Rose knew that the money was gone, but she didn’t care about
the money. She cared about her father’s life. Nothing mattered to her more than
her love for her father. Tears welled up in Rose’s eyes as she smoothed her
dress with her delicate fingers. Her high-heeled shoes clicked on the hardwood
floor when she walked away from the mirror and went towards the window seat,
where she sat down, looking out the window and watching the gardeners prune the
trees. A single tear slid down her cheek, while she looked down at her hands.
She had this feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was about to
happen--something bad.
Today was Rose’s sixteenth
birthday, and her mother was planning a big birthday party later today, but
Rose wasn’t really interested in going. She wanted to stay with her father and
talk to him like they used to. Ever since her father had become sick, he had
gotten weak, and when he had gotten weak, he hadn’t had time to spend time with
Rose, or listen to her like he used to. He would sleep for the whole day,
waking up to use the bathroom or to eat. Otherwise, he was sound asleep.
Sometimes, Rose feared that he wouldn’t ever wake up when he slept. That he
would leave her forever, and never love her again. Rose wiped away the single
tear that fell from her eyes, taking a shaky breath and getting up from the
bench. The clicking of her shoes was heard as Rose made her way out of her
room. Closing the door quietly, Rose passed her father’s room, where she heard
him call her.
"Rose..." William said
weakly. Rose stopped dead in her tracks and turned, making her way towards her
father’s bedroom door. Slowly, she opened the door, poking her head inside the
room.
"Yes, Father?" Rose
asked, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from her
eyes.
"Please...c-come here,"
William said, holding out his hand. Rose went inside and closed the door,
making her way towards her father while the sound of her clicking shoes rang in
her ears. Rose sat on the edge of her father’s bed, taking his hand in her own
and finding it cold. Freezing cold.
"Daddy, your hands are
cold..." Rose choked, closing his hand in both of hers in an attempt to
warm it. William gave her a weak smile.
"Rose..." William said,
his voice weak, his breathing becoming shallow. "It’s time for me to
go." Rose looked at her father with eyes that glistened with hurt and
sorrow. Her breathing quickened, and tears were beginning to form in her eyes.
"No, Daddy," Rose
choked. "You’re not going to die...you still have to walk me down the
aisle...remember?" Rose’s voice was shaky from her upcoming tears.
"I-I’m s-sorry, Rosie,"
William stuttered. "I tried...b-but I-I c-can’t hold on m-much
longer..."
"Daddy, please!" Rose
begged, feeling tears fall down her face. "Today’s my birthday. You can’t
leave yet! Besides, tomorrow’s Christmas!" Rose cried.
"Rose...l-listen to
me," William said, facing her, his face pale. "It’s my time...the
Lord says so...I-I know it’s your birthday...th-that’s why I sent y-you a
present..."
"No, Daddy. I don’t want any
present...I want--" Rose began, but she was cut off by her father.
"It’s in the drawer right
there," William said, pointing towards the dresser behind Rose. Rose
looked over her shoulder, her tear-filled eyes landing on the fancy dresser
that was in her father’s room. "Go on...it’s in the t-top drawer."
Rose looked at him and let go of his hand, getting up and walking towards the
dresser, opening the top drawer with both hands. Inside the drawer, she found a
perfectly wrapped gift with a card on top. Rose took the gift out of the drawer
and walked towards the bed, setting the gift in her lap.
"Daddy--" Rose began.
"Open it," William
said, his breathing becoming more and more shallow. Rose felt more tears
threaten to fall from her eyes, doing what she was told. She took the card and
set it aside, beginning to unwrap the gift. Once she had, she opened the box,
setting it on the floor and looking inside. She gasped, taking out a picture
frame, which held a picture of her and her father when she was thirteen--at the
lake. Tears fell down her cheeks, looking at her father. She looked at the
picture, finding herself and her father smiling brightly at the camera, which a
passerby had. She felt his freezing hand land on hers, looking up. "I love
you, Rose...y-you mean the world to me. From the m-moment you w-were born, I
have loved you with all my heart." William took a deep breath, finding it
hard to breathe. Rose cried, watching her father suffer.
"Daddy, don’t talk,"
Rose said, placing a hand over his. "The doctor will be here in a
moment...he’ll make you feel better!" Rose cried.
"N-no, Rose," William
said, slowly shaking his head. "He won’t help...I feel myself slipping
away...there’s nothing we can do..." Rose cried harder, hearing her father
say this.
"Daddy, I love you!"
Rose sobbed. "Don’t leave me! Please!"
"Rose...please listen...I
love you with all my heart and soul...I-I’ll always be with you, n-no matter
what. I-I’ll b-be in y-your heart..." William said, placing a cold hand
over her heart. "P-promise me that y-you’ll find your true love a-and
m-marry him. Share your life with h-him. I want you to learn to l-love someone
e-else...j-just as you love m-me." Tears cascaded down Rose’s cheeks,
listening to her father. "I-I want you to b-be happy. J-just as I was
w-with y-your mother. D-don’t marry s-someone y-you don’t love. You’ll b-be
m-miserable, and I don’t w-want you to b-be. I want y-you to f-find your love.
Y-your soul mate. W-will y-you promise me?" William looked at his
daughter. Rose nodded, her eyes red from crying.
"I promise, Daddy!"
Rose cried, holding onto her father’s hand with her own. William gave her a
weak smile, looking at her.
"You’re s-so
beautiful," William said. Rose let out a cry, trying to smile but failing.
"A-any man w-would b-be happy with y-you."
"Oh, Daddy!" Rose
cried, feeling her heart break in two. She looked at her pale father, taking
shallow breaths.
"It’s time..." William
said. Rose cried, burying her face in his hand. "I love you, Rose. I
always have...always will. You’re my little angel. I love you..." Rose
looked at him, hearing him take his last breath. She saw his head fall to the
side, and his limp hand hung over the edge of the bed. Rose’s lower lip
trembled, tears cascading down her cheeks hastily.
"D-Daddy?" Rose choked.
She heard no response. "Daddy, wake up! Please!" Rose cried, seeing
that he didn’t respond. "Daddy!" Rose fell onto him, burying her face
in his chest, clutching his pajamas and letting her tears fall onto the fabric.
"I love you!" Rose cried, her body shaking with heart-wrenching sobs.
She heard running footsteps and heard someone open the door. Rose didn’t bother
getting up. She stayed there, crying on her father, feeling strong arms go
around her waist and pulling her away from her father. "No!" Rose’s
arms stretched out towards her father. "Put me down!" Rose kicked her
feet in the air, managing to escape the man’s tight grasp. She went over to the
bed and picked up the picture frame, hugging it against her chest. Tears were
sliding down her cheeks, turning around to face the person who had pulled her
away from her father. He had dark hair with matching eyes, and he looked to be
at least six feet tall, or even taller. He had a fine suit on, with a bowtie,
looking at her. Rose hugged the frame closer to herself, crying and running
past the man and out of the room. She ran out of the mansion, letting her feet
take her towards the lake that she and her father used to spend their time at.
Rose went towards a boulder and sat on it, tears falling from her eyes.
Rose looked at the picture frame,
staring at the picture of her father smiling. She looked at the sky, the chill
of the wind blowing around her. Clouds covered the sky, snow beginning to fall
from the sky. She felt the snowflakes fall on her skin, and she felt the
snowflakes melt into water once they had landed on her skin. Snowflakes landed
on her red curls when she heard distant caroling in the background. Rose looked
down and just broke down, crying hysterically, falling to the ground and
hugging the picture frame to her chest. Her body shook against the chill of the
wind, curling up into a fetal position. Rose brought her knees up under her
chin, the picture frame between her chest and her thighs. Rose squeezed her
eyes shut, letting out a cry, tears falling down her cheeks when she did so.
"Why, Daddy?" Rose
cried. "Why did you have to die?" Rose’s body shook with sobs and
with the chill of the cold wind that was blowing around her. She suddenly heard
footsteps coming from the woods. Sitting up, Rose turned towards the sound of
the footsteps, grasping the picture frame. She kept taking steps backwards, not
really wanting any company, nor wanting to put up a fight.
"Rose?" Rose heard a
voice say. "Are you here?"
"Leave me alone!" Rose
said, her voice shaky. She saw the same man who had pulled her away from her
father standing before her. Rose looked down, not bothering to meet his curious
gaze.
"I didn’t have the chance to
introduce myself," the man said. "I’m Caledon Hockley--"
"I could care less who you
are!" Rose cried. "Just leave me alone, please."
"But you’re shivering,"
Caledon said. He took off his coat. "Here, put this on." Caledon
walked towards her and put the coat on her shoulders. Rose looked at him,
noticing him smiling at her.
"Th-thank you," Rose
said, looking down. "I’m sorry I said that. I’m just not in a very good
mood at the moment."
"I know," Caledon said,
smiling at her and putting an arm around her shoulders. "I’m sorry about
your father..."
"Thank you," Rose said,
her voice choked up from her tears.
"Come on. Let’s get inside.
It’s freezing out," Cal said. Rose managed to give him a small smile,
going back towards the mansion. Once they were inside, Caledon closed the back
door, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to warm them. Rose just walked
into the parlor, where she took off Caledon’s coat and placed it on a chair.
She went over to the staircase, slowly climbing up each step with all the
strength her legs could give. The clicking of her shoes echoed through the
parlor when she finally climbed the last step. She walked over to her bedroom
door and went inside, locking the door behind her. She went over to her bed,
put the picture frame on her pillow, and just fell on the bed, burying her face
in her arms and crying. Her body shook with her sobs, the tears of a broken heart
escaping her sapphire-emerald eyes, mourning her father, who she had loved with
all her heart but had been taken away from her at a young age. A fatherless
girl, who had adored her father more than anything in the world. Her broken
heart ached with hurt and sorrow, and she continued to cry, continued to grieve
over the man that she had looked up to, the man who had always cared and loved
her as a father would love a daughter, a father who had spent all of his time
with her. No matter what day it had been, no matter what time it had been, he
had always found a way to be with his daughter. Now, Rose had lost that person.
She had lost part of her life. She had lost her father.
*****
Tears streamed down Rose’s
cheeks, crying over the loss of her father. For the man, before Jack, who had
loved her for who she was and cared for her with all his heart. For the man who
had always been there for her when she needed him. For the man who had been
father to Rose DeWitt Bukater and had always found some way to make her smile.
Rose looked at her hands, letting the tears flow down her cheeks. As she let
herself mourn her father, the person who had always been there, the person who
had always cared, the person who had always loved her, no matter how upset he
was. Rose’s father had been the best person that she had ever known before
Jack, until he had passed away on her sixteenth birthday. Rose didn’t notice
that Jack was staring at her with worried eyes until she faced him. When she
saw the look in his eyes, she covered her face with her hands and cried harder,
feeling the hurt in her heart increase when Jack went towards her.
*****
Jack watched Rose staring off
into space, as if she was reliving the past. She had stayed like that for the past
fifteen minutes or so, not moving, not saying a word to reassure Jack that she
was all right. Suddenly, he saw tears begin to glisten in her eyes, as if she
were about to cry. He watched as a single tear slid down her porcelain cheek,
her lower lip beginning to tremble. Jack wanted to get up and comfort her, but
his body didn’t budge, nor did he want to disturb her. He felt that Rose needed
to let all her pain out, and the only way she could do so was to cry. The one
key that would make her feel better, once she had removed all the pain that was
locked up inside her for God knew how long. Jack saw even more tears cascading
down her cheeks, her eyes growing red, and her body shaking with sobs. He saw
her covering her face with both of her hands, her body shaking with
heart-wrenching sobs. Getting up, Jack slowly walked towards her, wrapping his
arms around her waist, bringing her closer to his body and cradling her head in
his arms.
"Shh..." Jack
whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Everything will be fine. I
promise...don’t cry."
"I miss him, Jack,"
Rose cried. "I miss him so much." Rose clutched his shirt, burying
her face in it. Jack looked down with saddened eyes. Had she met someone before
Cal? Had she fallen in love with another man before she had met Cal? Before she
had met him? Swallowing, Jack pulled away, just enough for him to look into her
eyes. Just enough to see the pain in her eyes, tears falling from the corners
of them.
"Wh-who?" Jack asked,
getting prepared for the answer.
"My father!" Rose
cried, looking at him. Jack looked at her, feeling the weight lift off his
shoulders. Sighing in relief, he pulled her into his arms once more, allowing
her to cry into his shirt, allowing her tears to fall into it.
"I’m sorry..." Jack
whispered.
"There’s nothing to be sorry
about, Jack," Rose said, her voice choked up. "It’s already
happened...there’s nothing we can do about it." Jack sighed, caressing her
red curls.
"I know...I just wish that
there was something I could do to help you," Jack said, looking into her
eyes.
"There is..." Rose
said, looking at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "You can love
me." Jack pulled her into another tight embrace, burying his face in the
crook of her neck.
"And I do, Rose. I do love
you," Jack whispered into her curls.
"I know you do..." Rose
said, wrapping her arms around Jack’s body and holding him close. "That’s
why I love you." Jack pulled away just enough to see her face, pressing
his lips against hers, bringing her into a kiss that enveloped their love for
each other. As the kiss grew more intense, Rose began taking off Jack’s
clothes, while Jack pulled off his boots. With their lips still connected, Rose
removed his underwear and his shirt, hugging him close. Jack got under the
covers with Rose, making love to her...taking her to the stars, erasing all the
painful tears that managed to escape her eyes. The two shared their love for
each other, growing as one.