LOVE THAT NEVER FADES
Chapter Thirty-Three
Rose leaned against the
headboard, looking out the window. Rain poured down, causing the day to become
more gloomy and stressful. Rose sighed, shifting into a more comfortable position,
taking her diary from under the pillow. Bending her knees, Rose placed the
diary against her legs, taking out a pen and beginning to write.
6/15/12
Dear Diary,
Here I am, sitting in the
guest room of Annie’s apartment, writing as the rain pours outside. I feel
depressed, hurt, betrayed, lonely, and most of all, still in love. Every time I
look back at the day that Jack kissed another woman, I feel my heart break in
two, for I never thought that Jack could ever hurt me so much. I thought he
loved me. That I was the only one for him. But it seems that I was wrong. It
seems that Jack has found another woman to share his life with.
I’m not sure if our marriage
is going to last. As each day goes by, I have to think whether I should annul
the marriage. Whether I should end my relationship with Jack altogether. I
can’t help but feel pain enveloping my heart as I think of the day when Jack
betrayed me. The day when he hurt me. The day when my heart broke and shattered
into millions of pieces. That was four days ago. Four painful days without
Jack. Without the man I love.
I’m not really sure what I
feel anymore, for my heart still tells me that I love him. That he’s the only
one for me. That nobody in the world will ever come close to being Jack Dawson.
The fine artist that I met on the Titanic. The ship where our lives changed
forever. But I can’t get myself to forgive him, for my mind tells me that I
should leave him and forget him. My mind is telling me that he betrayed me, and
if I go back to him, he might betray me again, and I know I can’t live through
the pain again. Not after what happened.
I think of our child. The
little creature that is growing inside of me at this very moment. I don’t want
my child to be fatherless, as I have been for the past year of my life. I want
my child to be able to run into Jack’s arms and call him daddy and say that
he/she loves him. But right now, it seems as if that will never happen. I just
can’t seem to get myself to forgive him. To go back to him and say that
everything is all right. I feel as if I am two people locked up in one body,
and one is telling me to go back to him, while the other is telling me to stay
where I am. Which one should I obey?
My conscience is telling me to
stay, and my heart is telling me to go. To go back to him and love him again.
To be able to be in his arms and feel the warmth of his body against mine. Oh,
how I long to be in his arms and just love him. Act as if nothing has happened,
but I know that it won’t happen. I just can’t go and forgive him. The pain is
still in my heart, and the minute I look at him, I know the hurt and betrayal
would return to me and cause me to feel more pain and more loneliness.
I have been lonely for the
past four days, and I find myself wishing that I could end this, but the minute
I try, I fall back into reality and realize that nothing and no one will ever
erase this pain in my heart. Sometimes I wish that I never met him…that I never
fell in love with him. As much as I hate to say this, sometimes I wish I were married
to Cal. I would’ve been better off with him, if I’d known Jack would cause so
much pain in my life.
Today is Annie’s nineteenth
birthday, and we’re going to have a small party here at her apartment. One
thing concerns me. Jack might be here, as well, and if he is, I’m definitely
going to lock myself in the guest room and not come out until the party’s over.
I just can’t confront him now. Not now. Not after my heart has healed from some
of the pain. This is really killing me, knowing that I won’t ever love again,
or at least I hope to never love again. Not after what Jack has done to me. To
our marriage.
I’m going to the park to get
some fresh air. I haven’t been out of this apartment for the past four days,
and I believe some outside air would do me some good. Maybe relieve some of the
stress that has been on my shoulders. I just hope that I’m left alone and not
bothered. I hope I don’t run into Jack as I go for my walk. That would only
make my day even worse and cause my heart to ache more and for me to feel more
pain. I just hope that I’m left alone.
Rose
Rose closed her diary and set her
pen on the nightstand beside her. She hadn’t bothered signing her last name,
for she felt she didn’t need to. She was still upset with Jack, and putting the
name Dawson would only make her think of Jack once more and cause her to cry
once again. Rose slid her diary under her pillow and got up from the bed. She
smoothed out the wrinkles in her yellow dress, which was low-cut. The sleeves
were short, showing off her smooth, pale arms. Her loose curls caused her to
appear even more beautiful and young. Taking a deep breath, Rose walked out of
the guest room and into the parlor, heading towards the front closet. She took
out a light jacket and an umbrella before closing the closet door. As she
slipped on the jacket, Annie emerged from the kitchen.
"Where are you going?"
Annie asked, watching Rose buttoning up the jacket.
"Out," Rose said.
"I need some fresh air."
"Okay," Annie said.
"But it’s raining out."
"I know," Rose said,
straightening up. "Which is why I’m bringing an umbrella."
"Rose, are you sure you want
to go out?" Annie asked. "In this weather?"
"Annie, it’s just
rain," Rose said. "It’s not like it’s a thunderstorm or
anything."
"I know, but I’m worried
about you, Rose," Annie said. "You’ve been depressed for the past
four days, and all I’ve been hearing is why did Jack do this to me, or I love
Jack, I do, but I can’t get myself to forgive him. Rose, you’re hurting
yourself without even realizing it." Concern shone in her eyes.
"Annie, I’m fine," Rose
said, feeling her heart sink when she mentioned Jack. "Really. I’m just
going for a stroll, and I’ll be back in a little while. I promise." Rose
closed her eyes, remembering when she had said those exact same words to Jack
on the night they could’ve died. Shaking her head, Rose looked up. "I’ll
be back, all right? I-I’m going to be fine."
Annie sighed and nodded her head.
"Okay," Annie said. "But be careful. I don’t want anything to
happen to you."
"I’ll be fine, Annie. Really,"
Rose said. "You worry too much. Sometimes you sound just like--" Rose
paused, looking down and biting her lower lip. She looked back up and
straightened her back. "W-well, I’ll b-be back. Happy birthday,
Annie."
"Thanks," Annie said,
her voice soft. She watched as Rose disappeared into the hallway, pulling the
door closed behind her. Annie shook her head sadly and sat on the couch, where
she sat and thought to herself.
*****
Jack slouched on the couch,
carelessly flipping through the newspaper. Jack had been depressed for the past
four days and hadn’t eaten a thing. He drank beer, but hadn’t had the appetite
to eat food, which had caused him to grow skinny and weak. His eyes roamed over
the words that were printed on the paper, hardly even seeing what he was
reading. Jack swung his blonde hair out of his eyes, which shone with
gloominess and hurt, staring down at the paper.
Fabrizio had gotten a job as a
waiter at an Italian restaurant. Fabrizio was also a cook at the restaurant,
for he knew some traditional Italian recipes that his mother, Lucia, had passed
down to him when he was young. He had memorized and treasured those recipes
with his heart and was happy for Americans to be able to taste the delicious
food that he had grown up with. Fabrizio was also becoming a citizen. Something
that meant a lot to him. He had been hoping to become a citizen of the United
States ever since he had met Jack, and now he was reaching his goal of becoming
an American citizen. To Fabrizio, life was everything he had ever wanted it to
be, but to Jack, life was falling apart, and without Rose, he might never be
the same Jack that Fabrizio had once known.
Jack threw the paper on the
coffee table, remaining in the slouched position. After a few moments, Jack
repositioned himself and sat properly, gazing around the room. His portfolio
lay on the coffee table open, the drawings exposed and scattered all over the
table. The drawings were of Rose. She had never left his mind in the past four
days. Getting up from the couch, Jack went towards the front closet, took his
jacket out, and slipped it on. Not even bothering to grab an umbrella, he
pulled the door open and went out into the hallway, only to find himself one
foot away from Rose.
*****
Rose pulled the door closed behind
her after leaving Annie’s apartment. She gave a frustrated sigh, one of her
curls landing in her eyes. Setting her umbrella beside the door, Rose slipped
her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out a ribbon. Pulling her hair into
a ponytail, Rose took the ribbon and tied it around her curls, securing them
together. When she made sure that the bow she had made secured her curls, Rose
bent down and picked up the umbrella, about to head over to the staircase when
she heard the door across from her open. Rose paused and straightened her back,
her eyes becoming cautious and her breathing irregular. The door that was
across from her was the door that she had walked out of four days ago, leaving
her husband behind. Rose held back her tears, watching the door open slowly.
Her hands began to tremble, holding onto the handle of the umbrella, and she
felt the brisk beating of her heart thumping against her ribcage.
Rose watched the door open fully,
revealing the person who had opened it. Rose closed her eyes, already beginning
to feel tears welling up. About a foot away from her stood Jack Dawson. The man
that she had grown to loathe, but still loved, and the man who she was married
to. The man who had fathered her child. The man who had betrayed her and caused
her to feel hurt and anguish. Rose’s eyes remained glued on the floor, for she
was not planning on communicating with him, still feeling pain and betrayal
lingering in her heart. She heard him shift from one foot to the other, a sigh
escaping his lips. Rose managed to steal a few glances, noticing how skinny
Jack had gotten and how pale he looked. His eyes were red, as if he had been
crying for the past hour. Rose swallowed down a sob and gave a shaky breath,
her trembling hands grasping the handle of the umbrella she held. She felt a
lump form in her throat and tried to swallow it away, only to find herself
sobbing. She brought a hand towards her face and covered her eyes, her tears
falling down her cheeks.
"Oh, Jack!" Rose cried,
the umbrella dropping to the floor. Her other hand went to her lower abdomen,
her body shaking with sobs. She felt arms go around her, and she tensed. It was
as if Jack’s touch was burning her skin instead of caressing it, as he was.
"I…I…you…please…I…"
"Shh," Jack said,
holding her close. Rose shook her head and put a hand on his chest.
Rose gently pushed him away from
her, lowering her head. A sob escaped her lips as she placed a hand over her
mouth.
"J-Jack, I-I…I c-can’t
forgive you," Rose cried, tears rushing down her cheeks. "I-I just
can’t. Not now…I still feel the pain…the betrayal—"
"Rose," Jack said,
firmly but calmly, his blue eyes shining with hope and hurt. "Can’t you
just let me explain? Please?" Jack looked at her. "I’ve been
desperate without you. I-I can’t live without you, Rose. Don’t you understand?
With every minute that goes by without you by my side, I feel as if I’m
breaking apart."
"How do you think I
feel?" Rose asked, looking up. "Do you think I’m enjoying this? That
I’m happy to not be by your side? To not be in your warm embrace?" Rose
looked down and sighed. "Jack." Her eyes went back to him. "You
hurt me really bad. And it still hurts, Jack. My heart still aches, and every
time I look or think of you, I see you kissing that—that woman!"
Jack closed his eyes, sighing in
frustration. "Rose, she kissed me! I had nothing to do with it!" Jack
said, raising his voice.
"Oh, really?" Rose
asked, her voice rising as well. "So, you call kissing a person back and
pulling her close to you nothing? You had everything to do with it, Mr. Dawson.
Every little bit! And to think that I thought that you loved me." Rose
hugged herself, sadly lowering her head.
"Rose," Jack said,
putting his hands on her forearms gently. When he felt her try to wiggle out of
his hold, he tightened his grip a bit and looked her in the eye, firmly and
lovingly. "I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I
would never betray you. Never."
"Well, you did!" Rose
cried, her eyes shining with hurt. "You did…" Her eyes lowered,
looking down at her feet.
Jack sighed and lifted her chin
with his finger, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Rose…please…just let
me explain. Let me tell you what happened. Give me a chance…please, Rose.
Please," Jack begged, his eyes on her.
"Jack…" Rose said, looking
around uneasily.
"Please, Rose…just one
chance to explain. I’m begging you!" Jack said, his eyes shining with
pleading and hope. "Please…"
Rose sighed and closed her eyes
to prevent her tears from flowing. Opening her eyes, she stared into Jack’s,
finding that his once laughing azure-colored eyes were now shining with hurt
and forgiveness. She swallowed back a sob and finally gave up, nodding her head
slightly.
Jack sighed in relief.
"Thank God…" Jack whispered. He cleared his throat and looked into her
eyes. "Rose, I—"
Just as he was about to explain
himself, they heard a woman’s voice. A voice that Jack hadn’t wanted to hear.
Not now. Not while he was trying to get Rose’s forgiveness. He closed his eyes
and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Jack!" The woman’s
voice rang out in the halls as the clicking of her shoes was heard. "Oh,
Jackie boy!"
Jack looked up, finding Kristen
walking towards them, a sly smile on her face. Her ebony hair flew down her
back, her long legs taking her through the hallway and towards Jack.
"Kristen, what are you doing
here?" Jack asked, frustration in his voice.
"Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack,"
Kristen said, moving closer to him. "I have forgiven you for what you did
to me at the park, and I’m willing to give you another chance."
"Another chance?" Jack
asked, growing angry. "What do you mean, another chance?"
"What I mean is that I want
you to be mine," Kristen said, her hands going along his arm.
Rose became infuriated as she
watched Kristen touch her husband. She clenched her hands into fists, her teeth
clenched together angrily. She gazed into Kristen’s eyes, feeling her heart
beat angrily.
"Get your hands off of my
husband!!" Rose said bitterly.
Kristen looked over at Rose,
whose eyes shone with anger and the desire for revenge.
"Well, well, well,"
Kristen said, letting go of Jack. "I see you’re the little wife that Jack
has been talking about." Kristen stepped closer to Rose, a mischievous
smile on her face. "Hmm…Jack is right. You are beautiful. And very attractive,
I’d say."
"You get away from me, or
I’ll—" Rose said, glaring at her angrily.
"Or you’ll what?"
Kristen asked. "You’re gonna cry?" Kristen suddenly felt a pair of
strong hands grip her shoulders, whirling her around.
"You leave Rose alone,"
Jack warned, pointing angrily at her. "She is in a delicate condition, and
if you ever cause her more hurt, you’ll be sorry."
"I’ll be sorry, huh?"
Kristen said, looking down. "And just exactly what am I going to be sorry
for?" Kristen looked at him.
"Everything," Jack
said. "You’ll be sorry you ever met me."
Kristen chuckled. "Sorry for
ever meeting you? Oh, my Jack, you’re so funny. I love you. I love you more
than Rose ever could," Kristen said, her voice soft and flirtatious.
Jack just shook his head.
"Kristen, don’t you understand?" Jack asked, clenching his teeth.
"I don’t love you. Never have, never will."
Kristen just stood up straight,
her eyes shining with anger, hurt, and the desire for revenge.
"How could you do this to
me?" Kristen asked, tears shining in her eyes. "How could you hurt me
like this? For two years, I have loved you. For two years!"
"I’m sorry, Kristen,"
Jack said, shaking his head sadly. "I haven’t meant to hurt you or
anything, but…I love Rose. Always will. No one will ever replace her."
Tears spilled down Kristen’s
cheek. "And just how long had you known her?" Kristen asked, looking
up. "Before you married?"
Jack sighed. "Three
days."
A chuckle escaped her lips.
"Three days?" Kristen shouted. "You’d only known Rose for three
days?"
"Kristen—" Jack began.
"No, Jack," Kristen
said, shaking her head. "Don’t say anything." Kristen looked over at
Rose, then back at Jack. "Seems to me that you won’t ever understand my
feelings for you."
"Kristen, what
feelings?" Jack asked, raising his arms in exasperation. "You never
loved me the way Rose does. You never showed me what the word love really
means. All you ever did was stick by my side and brag to your friends that I
was your beau." His eyes shone with frustration. "Kristen, that’s not
love. That’s just pretending you’re in love. But I’m not pretending. Not with
Rose. I love her until death, and even beyond that. Please understand
that."
Rose just stood there, watching
Jack argue with Kristen. For the past four days, she had thought that Jack
didn’t love her. Rose felt guilt and regret for what she had done to him. For
what she had caused him to feel. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him. She never had
meant to hurt him that way. Tears began to well up in her eyes. She brought a
hand up to cover them. Her heart began to flutter within her ribcage as she
felt it fill with regret and guilt. A soft cry escaped her lips, her body
shaking with heart-wrenching sobs.
Jack turned, finding Rose in
tears. His heart began to break once more, seeing Rose in this state. He hated
to see her cry. To see her in tears from a broken heart. Jack wished that
Kristen had never kissed him. That he hadn’t agreed to go to the park with her.
Most of all, he wished he had never stepped into the bar, for he wouldn’t have
bumped into Kristen and they wouldn’t be in this situation at this moment. He
looked over at Kristen, finding her in tears, then watched as his wife shed her
tears. Jack took a few steps towards Rose and put his arms around her, pulling
her close to his chest.
"Shh," Jack whispered
in her ear, his hand gently caressing her curls. "Everything will be
okay…I promise."
"Well," Kristen said,
her voice choked. "I-I’m gonna go now. Seems to me that you two are
busy." Kristen turned and left. She stopped about five feet from them,
turning back around. "You’ll be sorry, Jack. Sure as hell, you’ll be
sorry."
Jack paid no attention whatsoever
towards what Kristen was saying, for he was too caught up in comforting his
wife. Hoping to win her forgiveness after what Kristen had done to both of
them. Within minutes, he heard the clicking of her shoes disappearing down the
stairs, leaving him with his beloved Rose.
"I’m sorry, Rose," Jack
whispered, hugging her close. "I’m so sorry I did this to you…" Jack
felt tears slide down his cheeks as he breathed in the scent of her gorgeous
red curls.
Rose shook her head, pulling
away. She felt Jack cringe against her fingertips, his eyes shining with hurt
and regret.
"No, Jack," Rose said,
her voice soft. Tears gently slid down her cheeks. "I’m the one who should
be sorry. I never gave you a chance to explain. I-I should’ve let you talk, but
instead I was being so stubborn, and—" Rose felt his forefinger upon her
lips.
"Shh," Jack said, a
small smile coming to his face. His fingers went onto her cheek and through her
curls. "Everything will be all right now…everything will be all right
now…I promise." Jack pressed his lips to her curls and hugged her closer.
Rose lifted her head and gazed
into his ocean-blue eyes.
"I’m so sorry, Jack,"
Rose said, tears glittering her emerald-blue eyes. "I didn’t mean to hurt
you. I’m so sorry…please forgive me…I love you. I love you so
much…please…"
"Rose…" Jack said,
trying to get her attention.
"I’m sorry…please, Jack…I’m
sorry…" Rose cried.
"Rose!" Jack said, putting
both hands on her face. His blue eyes shone with a love that Rose had never
seen before. It was as if she was first meeting him. As if she were falling in
love with him all over again. As if fate were giving them a third chance in
love. "Rose, I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing and no
one will ever break us apart…I promise…you are everything to me. You’re
everything I’ve ever wanted you to be."
"Jack…I love you…I love
you…I love you, Jack. I love you so much," Rose said, clutching his shirt
and burying her face in his chest. "I love you…"
"Rose," Jack said,
lifting her chin with his finger. "I love you, too. More than words can
ever describe, and more than life itself. I love you, Rose. Nothing will ever
change that. Nothing. And no one."
A smile came upon her face as she
pulled Jack into a tight, loving embrace.
"I love you…" Rose
whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Jack lifted her chin once more
and gazed into her eyes with love and passion. He leaned his face towards hers
until he could feel her warm breath against his lips. His rough fingers grazed
against the tenderness of her skin, his fingertips brushing against her curls.
Within seconds, his lips were pressed against hers, the two intently sharing a
passionate kiss. A kiss that hadn’t been shared for the four days of their
separation. For four days of hurt and agony. All the four days that had caused
them pain and regret were now ended with a kiss. A kiss that had erased all the
troubles and all the hurt that had been within their lives. A kiss that would
last forever, and beyond that. A kiss that had broken the barrier that had been
formed around Rose’s heart—a barrier that had told her she would never love
again…never trust again--was put down by that one kiss from her beloved Jack.
Her savior, yet again.