LOVE THAT NEVER FADES
Chapter Thirty-Three

Rose leaned against the headboard, looking out the window. Rain poured down, causing the day to become more gloomy and stressful. Rose sighed, shifting into a more comfortable position, taking her diary from under the pillow. Bending her knees, Rose placed the diary against her legs, taking out a pen and beginning to write.

6/15/12

Dear Diary,

Here I am, sitting in the guest room of Annie’s apartment, writing as the rain pours outside. I feel depressed, hurt, betrayed, lonely, and most of all, still in love. Every time I look back at the day that Jack kissed another woman, I feel my heart break in two, for I never thought that Jack could ever hurt me so much. I thought he loved me. That I was the only one for him. But it seems that I was wrong. It seems that Jack has found another woman to share his life with.

I’m not sure if our marriage is going to last. As each day goes by, I have to think whether I should annul the marriage. Whether I should end my relationship with Jack altogether. I can’t help but feel pain enveloping my heart as I think of the day when Jack betrayed me. The day when he hurt me. The day when my heart broke and shattered into millions of pieces. That was four days ago. Four painful days without Jack. Without the man I love.

I’m not really sure what I feel anymore, for my heart still tells me that I love him. That he’s the only one for me. That nobody in the world will ever come close to being Jack Dawson. The fine artist that I met on the Titanic. The ship where our lives changed forever. But I can’t get myself to forgive him, for my mind tells me that I should leave him and forget him. My mind is telling me that he betrayed me, and if I go back to him, he might betray me again, and I know I can’t live through the pain again. Not after what happened.

I think of our child. The little creature that is growing inside of me at this very moment. I don’t want my child to be fatherless, as I have been for the past year of my life. I want my child to be able to run into Jack’s arms and call him daddy and say that he/she loves him. But right now, it seems as if that will never happen. I just can’t seem to get myself to forgive him. To go back to him and say that everything is all right. I feel as if I am two people locked up in one body, and one is telling me to go back to him, while the other is telling me to stay where I am. Which one should I obey?

My conscience is telling me to stay, and my heart is telling me to go. To go back to him and love him again. To be able to be in his arms and feel the warmth of his body against mine. Oh, how I long to be in his arms and just love him. Act as if nothing has happened, but I know that it won’t happen. I just can’t go and forgive him. The pain is still in my heart, and the minute I look at him, I know the hurt and betrayal would return to me and cause me to feel more pain and more loneliness.

I have been lonely for the past four days, and I find myself wishing that I could end this, but the minute I try, I fall back into reality and realize that nothing and no one will ever erase this pain in my heart. Sometimes I wish that I never met him…that I never fell in love with him. As much as I hate to say this, sometimes I wish I were married to Cal. I would’ve been better off with him, if I’d known Jack would cause so much pain in my life.

Today is Annie’s nineteenth birthday, and we’re going to have a small party here at her apartment. One thing concerns me. Jack might be here, as well, and if he is, I’m definitely going to lock myself in the guest room and not come out until the party’s over. I just can’t confront him now. Not now. Not after my heart has healed from some of the pain. This is really killing me, knowing that I won’t ever love again, or at least I hope to never love again. Not after what Jack has done to me. To our marriage.

I’m going to the park to get some fresh air. I haven’t been out of this apartment for the past four days, and I believe some outside air would do me some good. Maybe relieve some of the stress that has been on my shoulders. I just hope that I’m left alone and not bothered. I hope I don’t run into Jack as I go for my walk. That would only make my day even worse and cause my heart to ache more and for me to feel more pain. I just hope that I’m left alone.

Rose

Rose closed her diary and set her pen on the nightstand beside her. She hadn’t bothered signing her last name, for she felt she didn’t need to. She was still upset with Jack, and putting the name Dawson would only make her think of Jack once more and cause her to cry once again. Rose slid her diary under her pillow and got up from the bed. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her yellow dress, which was low-cut. The sleeves were short, showing off her smooth, pale arms. Her loose curls caused her to appear even more beautiful and young. Taking a deep breath, Rose walked out of the guest room and into the parlor, heading towards the front closet. She took out a light jacket and an umbrella before closing the closet door. As she slipped on the jacket, Annie emerged from the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Annie asked, watching Rose buttoning up the jacket.

"Out," Rose said. "I need some fresh air."

"Okay," Annie said. "But it’s raining out."

"I know," Rose said, straightening up. "Which is why I’m bringing an umbrella."

"Rose, are you sure you want to go out?" Annie asked. "In this weather?"

"Annie, it’s just rain," Rose said. "It’s not like it’s a thunderstorm or anything."

"I know, but I’m worried about you, Rose," Annie said. "You’ve been depressed for the past four days, and all I’ve been hearing is why did Jack do this to me, or I love Jack, I do, but I can’t get myself to forgive him. Rose, you’re hurting yourself without even realizing it." Concern shone in her eyes.

"Annie, I’m fine," Rose said, feeling her heart sink when she mentioned Jack. "Really. I’m just going for a stroll, and I’ll be back in a little while. I promise." Rose closed her eyes, remembering when she had said those exact same words to Jack on the night they could’ve died. Shaking her head, Rose looked up. "I’ll be back, all right? I-I’m going to be fine."

Annie sighed and nodded her head. "Okay," Annie said. "But be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you."

"I’ll be fine, Annie. Really," Rose said. "You worry too much. Sometimes you sound just like--" Rose paused, looking down and biting her lower lip. She looked back up and straightened her back. "W-well, I’ll b-be back. Happy birthday, Annie."

"Thanks," Annie said, her voice soft. She watched as Rose disappeared into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her. Annie shook her head sadly and sat on the couch, where she sat and thought to herself.

*****

Jack slouched on the couch, carelessly flipping through the newspaper. Jack had been depressed for the past four days and hadn’t eaten a thing. He drank beer, but hadn’t had the appetite to eat food, which had caused him to grow skinny and weak. His eyes roamed over the words that were printed on the paper, hardly even seeing what he was reading. Jack swung his blonde hair out of his eyes, which shone with gloominess and hurt, staring down at the paper.

Fabrizio had gotten a job as a waiter at an Italian restaurant. Fabrizio was also a cook at the restaurant, for he knew some traditional Italian recipes that his mother, Lucia, had passed down to him when he was young. He had memorized and treasured those recipes with his heart and was happy for Americans to be able to taste the delicious food that he had grown up with. Fabrizio was also becoming a citizen. Something that meant a lot to him. He had been hoping to become a citizen of the United States ever since he had met Jack, and now he was reaching his goal of becoming an American citizen. To Fabrizio, life was everything he had ever wanted it to be, but to Jack, life was falling apart, and without Rose, he might never be the same Jack that Fabrizio had once known.

Jack threw the paper on the coffee table, remaining in the slouched position. After a few moments, Jack repositioned himself and sat properly, gazing around the room. His portfolio lay on the coffee table open, the drawings exposed and scattered all over the table. The drawings were of Rose. She had never left his mind in the past four days. Getting up from the couch, Jack went towards the front closet, took his jacket out, and slipped it on. Not even bothering to grab an umbrella, he pulled the door open and went out into the hallway, only to find himself one foot away from Rose.

*****

Rose pulled the door closed behind her after leaving Annie’s apartment. She gave a frustrated sigh, one of her curls landing in her eyes. Setting her umbrella beside the door, Rose slipped her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out a ribbon. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, Rose took the ribbon and tied it around her curls, securing them together. When she made sure that the bow she had made secured her curls, Rose bent down and picked up the umbrella, about to head over to the staircase when she heard the door across from her open. Rose paused and straightened her back, her eyes becoming cautious and her breathing irregular. The door that was across from her was the door that she had walked out of four days ago, leaving her husband behind. Rose held back her tears, watching the door open slowly. Her hands began to tremble, holding onto the handle of the umbrella, and she felt the brisk beating of her heart thumping against her ribcage.

Rose watched the door open fully, revealing the person who had opened it. Rose closed her eyes, already beginning to feel tears welling up. About a foot away from her stood Jack Dawson. The man that she had grown to loathe, but still loved, and the man who she was married to. The man who had fathered her child. The man who had betrayed her and caused her to feel hurt and anguish. Rose’s eyes remained glued on the floor, for she was not planning on communicating with him, still feeling pain and betrayal lingering in her heart. She heard him shift from one foot to the other, a sigh escaping his lips. Rose managed to steal a few glances, noticing how skinny Jack had gotten and how pale he looked. His eyes were red, as if he had been crying for the past hour. Rose swallowed down a sob and gave a shaky breath, her trembling hands grasping the handle of the umbrella she held. She felt a lump form in her throat and tried to swallow it away, only to find herself sobbing. She brought a hand towards her face and covered her eyes, her tears falling down her cheeks.

"Oh, Jack!" Rose cried, the umbrella dropping to the floor. Her other hand went to her lower abdomen, her body shaking with sobs. She felt arms go around her, and she tensed. It was as if Jack’s touch was burning her skin instead of caressing it, as he was. "I…I…you…please…I…"

"Shh," Jack said, holding her close. Rose shook her head and put a hand on his chest.

Rose gently pushed him away from her, lowering her head. A sob escaped her lips as she placed a hand over her mouth.

"J-Jack, I-I…I c-can’t forgive you," Rose cried, tears rushing down her cheeks. "I-I just can’t. Not now…I still feel the pain…the betrayal—"

"Rose," Jack said, firmly but calmly, his blue eyes shining with hope and hurt. "Can’t you just let me explain? Please?" Jack looked at her. "I’ve been desperate without you. I-I can’t live without you, Rose. Don’t you understand? With every minute that goes by without you by my side, I feel as if I’m breaking apart."

"How do you think I feel?" Rose asked, looking up. "Do you think I’m enjoying this? That I’m happy to not be by your side? To not be in your warm embrace?" Rose looked down and sighed. "Jack." Her eyes went back to him. "You hurt me really bad. And it still hurts, Jack. My heart still aches, and every time I look or think of you, I see you kissing that—that woman!"

Jack closed his eyes, sighing in frustration. "Rose, she kissed me! I had nothing to do with it!" Jack said, raising his voice.

"Oh, really?" Rose asked, her voice rising as well. "So, you call kissing a person back and pulling her close to you nothing? You had everything to do with it, Mr. Dawson. Every little bit! And to think that I thought that you loved me." Rose hugged herself, sadly lowering her head.

"Rose," Jack said, putting his hands on her forearms gently. When he felt her try to wiggle out of his hold, he tightened his grip a bit and looked her in the eye, firmly and lovingly. "I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I would never betray you. Never."

"Well, you did!" Rose cried, her eyes shining with hurt. "You did…" Her eyes lowered, looking down at her feet.

Jack sighed and lifted her chin with his finger, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Rose…please…just let me explain. Let me tell you what happened. Give me a chance…please, Rose. Please," Jack begged, his eyes on her.

"Jack…" Rose said, looking around uneasily.

"Please, Rose…just one chance to explain. I’m begging you!" Jack said, his eyes shining with pleading and hope. "Please…"

Rose sighed and closed her eyes to prevent her tears from flowing. Opening her eyes, she stared into Jack’s, finding that his once laughing azure-colored eyes were now shining with hurt and forgiveness. She swallowed back a sob and finally gave up, nodding her head slightly.

Jack sighed in relief. "Thank God…" Jack whispered. He cleared his throat and looked into her eyes. "Rose, I—"

Just as he was about to explain himself, they heard a woman’s voice. A voice that Jack hadn’t wanted to hear. Not now. Not while he was trying to get Rose’s forgiveness. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Jack!" The woman’s voice rang out in the halls as the clicking of her shoes was heard. "Oh, Jackie boy!"

Jack looked up, finding Kristen walking towards them, a sly smile on her face. Her ebony hair flew down her back, her long legs taking her through the hallway and towards Jack.

"Kristen, what are you doing here?" Jack asked, frustration in his voice.

"Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack," Kristen said, moving closer to him. "I have forgiven you for what you did to me at the park, and I’m willing to give you another chance."

"Another chance?" Jack asked, growing angry. "What do you mean, another chance?"

"What I mean is that I want you to be mine," Kristen said, her hands going along his arm.

Rose became infuriated as she watched Kristen touch her husband. She clenched her hands into fists, her teeth clenched together angrily. She gazed into Kristen’s eyes, feeling her heart beat angrily.

"Get your hands off of my husband!!" Rose said bitterly.

Kristen looked over at Rose, whose eyes shone with anger and the desire for revenge.

"Well, well, well," Kristen said, letting go of Jack. "I see you’re the little wife that Jack has been talking about." Kristen stepped closer to Rose, a mischievous smile on her face. "Hmm…Jack is right. You are beautiful. And very attractive, I’d say."

"You get away from me, or I’ll—" Rose said, glaring at her angrily.

"Or you’ll what?" Kristen asked. "You’re gonna cry?" Kristen suddenly felt a pair of strong hands grip her shoulders, whirling her around.

"You leave Rose alone," Jack warned, pointing angrily at her. "She is in a delicate condition, and if you ever cause her more hurt, you’ll be sorry."

"I’ll be sorry, huh?" Kristen said, looking down. "And just exactly what am I going to be sorry for?" Kristen looked at him.

"Everything," Jack said. "You’ll be sorry you ever met me."

Kristen chuckled. "Sorry for ever meeting you? Oh, my Jack, you’re so funny. I love you. I love you more than Rose ever could," Kristen said, her voice soft and flirtatious.

Jack just shook his head. "Kristen, don’t you understand?" Jack asked, clenching his teeth. "I don’t love you. Never have, never will."

Kristen just stood up straight, her eyes shining with anger, hurt, and the desire for revenge.

"How could you do this to me?" Kristen asked, tears shining in her eyes. "How could you hurt me like this? For two years, I have loved you. For two years!"

"I’m sorry, Kristen," Jack said, shaking his head sadly. "I haven’t meant to hurt you or anything, but…I love Rose. Always will. No one will ever replace her."

Tears spilled down Kristen’s cheek. "And just how long had you known her?" Kristen asked, looking up. "Before you married?"

Jack sighed. "Three days."

A chuckle escaped her lips. "Three days?" Kristen shouted. "You’d only known Rose for three days?"

"Kristen—" Jack began.

"No, Jack," Kristen said, shaking her head. "Don’t say anything." Kristen looked over at Rose, then back at Jack. "Seems to me that you won’t ever understand my feelings for you."

"Kristen, what feelings?" Jack asked, raising his arms in exasperation. "You never loved me the way Rose does. You never showed me what the word love really means. All you ever did was stick by my side and brag to your friends that I was your beau." His eyes shone with frustration. "Kristen, that’s not love. That’s just pretending you’re in love. But I’m not pretending. Not with Rose. I love her until death, and even beyond that. Please understand that."

Rose just stood there, watching Jack argue with Kristen. For the past four days, she had thought that Jack didn’t love her. Rose felt guilt and regret for what she had done to him. For what she had caused him to feel. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him. She never had meant to hurt him that way. Tears began to well up in her eyes. She brought a hand up to cover them. Her heart began to flutter within her ribcage as she felt it fill with regret and guilt. A soft cry escaped her lips, her body shaking with heart-wrenching sobs.

Jack turned, finding Rose in tears. His heart began to break once more, seeing Rose in this state. He hated to see her cry. To see her in tears from a broken heart. Jack wished that Kristen had never kissed him. That he hadn’t agreed to go to the park with her. Most of all, he wished he had never stepped into the bar, for he wouldn’t have bumped into Kristen and they wouldn’t be in this situation at this moment. He looked over at Kristen, finding her in tears, then watched as his wife shed her tears. Jack took a few steps towards Rose and put his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.

"Shh," Jack whispered in her ear, his hand gently caressing her curls. "Everything will be okay…I promise."

"Well," Kristen said, her voice choked. "I-I’m gonna go now. Seems to me that you two are busy." Kristen turned and left. She stopped about five feet from them, turning back around. "You’ll be sorry, Jack. Sure as hell, you’ll be sorry."

Jack paid no attention whatsoever towards what Kristen was saying, for he was too caught up in comforting his wife. Hoping to win her forgiveness after what Kristen had done to both of them. Within minutes, he heard the clicking of her shoes disappearing down the stairs, leaving him with his beloved Rose.

"I’m sorry, Rose," Jack whispered, hugging her close. "I’m so sorry I did this to you…" Jack felt tears slide down his cheeks as he breathed in the scent of her gorgeous red curls.

Rose shook her head, pulling away. She felt Jack cringe against her fingertips, his eyes shining with hurt and regret.

"No, Jack," Rose said, her voice soft. Tears gently slid down her cheeks. "I’m the one who should be sorry. I never gave you a chance to explain. I-I should’ve let you talk, but instead I was being so stubborn, and—" Rose felt his forefinger upon her lips.

"Shh," Jack said, a small smile coming to his face. His fingers went onto her cheek and through her curls. "Everything will be all right now…everything will be all right now…I promise." Jack pressed his lips to her curls and hugged her closer.

Rose lifted her head and gazed into his ocean-blue eyes.

"I’m so sorry, Jack," Rose said, tears glittering her emerald-blue eyes. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so sorry…please forgive me…I love you. I love you so much…please…"

"Rose…" Jack said, trying to get her attention.

"I’m sorry…please, Jack…I’m sorry…" Rose cried.

"Rose!" Jack said, putting both hands on her face. His blue eyes shone with a love that Rose had never seen before. It was as if she was first meeting him. As if she were falling in love with him all over again. As if fate were giving them a third chance in love. "Rose, I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing and no one will ever break us apart…I promise…you are everything to me. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted you to be."

"Jack…I love you…I love you…I love you, Jack. I love you so much," Rose said, clutching his shirt and burying her face in his chest. "I love you…"

"Rose," Jack said, lifting her chin with his finger. "I love you, too. More than words can ever describe, and more than life itself. I love you, Rose. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. And no one."

A smile came upon her face as she pulled Jack into a tight, loving embrace.

"I love you…" Rose whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Jack lifted her chin once more and gazed into her eyes with love and passion. He leaned his face towards hers until he could feel her warm breath against his lips. His rough fingers grazed against the tenderness of her skin, his fingertips brushing against her curls. Within seconds, his lips were pressed against hers, the two intently sharing a passionate kiss. A kiss that hadn’t been shared for the four days of their separation. For four days of hurt and agony. All the four days that had caused them pain and regret were now ended with a kiss. A kiss that had erased all the troubles and all the hurt that had been within their lives. A kiss that would last forever, and beyond that. A kiss that had broken the barrier that had been formed around Rose’s heart—a barrier that had told her she would never love again…never trust again--was put down by that one kiss from her beloved Jack. Her savior, yet again.

Chapter Thirty-Four
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