A LOVE NEVER FADING
Chapter Forty-Six
November 1918
Since Rose lost the baby, everything had
changed. She hadn't smiled since that horrible night in June. She didn't go
back to work. There was rarely a time when she left her apartment. There had
been a time when it seemed like she was getting better, but then September
came, and Rose realized it was not only she and Jack's six year wedding
anniversary, but also the first anniversary they spent apart.
Maggie and Brian were sick with worry. Every
day they had a horrible fear Rose would do something to herself. The only time
she seemed even remotely happy was when she was with Andrew. Erik visited
often, but Rose barely spoke to him.
*****
Rose was eating dinner with Maggie and Brian.
Andrew was hitting his hands up and down on the table and screaming, for no reason
at all. He was just yelling, as babies do. Maggie rubbed her head.
"Are you all right?" Brian asked.
"Yes. I just have a headache."
"Maybe you should go lie down."
"No. It's normal. It happened with
Andrew, too."
"All right. But if you don't feel well,
lie down."
Rose looked at them. "What are you
talking about? What to you mean, it happened with Andrew, too?"
Maggie swallowed hard. She didn't want to
tell Rose. It's not that she wasn't happy. She was ecstatic, but she knew it
would hurt Rose. But there was no way she would be able to hide it. She took a
deep breath. "Rose, I'm going to have another baby."
Rose's breath caught in her throat.
"Oh...that's wonderful. It really is." She smiled weakly. The first
time she had in months. Rose filled her mouth with food so she wouldn't have to
say anything else. When she swallowed she stood up. "That was delicious.
Thank you. But I'm awfully tired. So, good night." She quickly retreated
to her room.
Maggie and Brian looked at each other.
"I'm going to talk to her." She rose from her chair and soon knocked
on Rose's door. There was no answer. She knocked again, but still no answer.
The door was unlocked so she let herself in. One light was on in the living
room, casting an eerie glow over everything. She could see a light coming from
Rose's room.
"Rose?" She peered into the
bedroom. Rose was curled up on Jack's side of the bed and staring out the
window. Maggie went and sat at the foot of the bed. "Rose, is something
the matter?"
"No," she said quietly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay, because you can talk to me. I
understand what you're going through."
When Rose heard that, something inside of her
snapped. Her eyes flashed with anger. "You understand?" she said
sharply. "No, you don't understand." Her voice was cold. "Your
husband is downstairs! I haven't seen mine in a year! I haven't heard from him
in six months! For all I know, he could lying dead in a ditch!" Rose was
screaming at the top of her lungs. Her eyes begin to fill with tears.
"Your son is downstairs! My baby is dead! You are going to have another
child! I can't, because there is no one for me to have one with! The only man I
have ever loved is missing! The only person who has ever completely understood
me, and seen me for what I really am, may be gone forever! And the only thing I
had to remember him by...the only piece of him I was lucky enough to be
carrying...is dead! Everything is gone! Everything! All the things I've
treasured! They should be here with me, like they have been for the past six
years! There's nothing for me anymore! Nothing! Do you know what that feels
like?"
Maggie was shaking.
"Do you?" Rose shrieked.
Tears streamed down Maggie's face. She shook
her head quickly. "No," she breathed out.
"No, you don't. So don't say you
understand. Because you don't. Nobody does," she hissed. "Now, leave
me alone." She pulled the blankets up and lay down.
Maggie quickly left. Brian was at the bottom
of the stairs. She fell right into his arms and sobbed. "Oh God, Brian.
She's never yelled before. She's never even come close to being upset with
me." She choked out more tears. "I had no idea. I didn't know how she
felt. God..."
"Shh." Brian rubbed her back.
"She's going through some tough times. We just need to be here for her. No
matter how hard she pushes away, she needs to know we'll still be here."
Maggie held him tightly. She knew Brian was
right. She had just been frightened. Rose had never yelled. And this was the
first time Rose had actually come out and said everything she had been feeling.
Maggie had no idea how much pain Rose kept inside of herself.
"We just need to take it slow. She'll
come around," Maggie said quietly. "We'll help her. She needs
us."