A LOVE NEVER FADING
Chapter Forty-Seven
February 1919
"Erik! I'm so glad you're here."
Maggie hugged him tightly. She had asked him to come over. Since Rose had
yelled at Maggie, she had only come out of her apartment to buy food. Both
Maggie and Brian had tried to go in and talk to her, but she never opened the
door. Andrew had been upset that he never got to see Rose. He would stand at
the bottom of the stairs and point to her room, but Brian would just shake his
head and walk away.
"I was hoping you could talk to
Rose." Maggie sat down on the couch.
"I don't know. She hasn't spoken to me
in a long time. Why would she start now?"
Brian was now sitting with them. "I
understand where you're coming from, but we've tried everything. She won't let
us in. I haven't seen her in weeks. She goes food shopping when we're not
home."
Erik shook his head. "If she won't let
you in, why would she let me in?"
"We have a key to her apartment. We've never
used it, but I don't think she'd be upset if you used it," Brian said.
"I could try."
"You're like her father, Erik,"
Maggie told him.
Erik sighed. "All right." He stood
up and started up the stairs.
Brian stopped him and handed him the key.
"They have been demobilizing the troops in France. They're sending the
armies home and she still hasn't gotten any word on Jack. I know that is
killing her."
Erik nodded. "Thank you." He
unlocked her door and entered the apartment. It was pitch black. All the shades
were closed tightly and not a single light was on. He shivered. It was
freezing. She hadn't bothered to put the heat on. It didn't look like anything
in the living room had been touched for months.
Erik walked towards her bedroom. The door was
shut. He gently opened it. It was even colder in here. He saw her under the
covers. Erik walked over and sat in the chair that was next to the bed. Rose
was awake, but barely. He studied her. Her eyes were puffy. Her face was pale.
She had lost weight. Rose looked ill. To Erik, it looked like she had been
crying forever.
"Rose...I came to talk to you. I know
what you're going through." He sighed. "I don't know exactly, but I
understand." Erik closed his eyes to gather his thoughts. "My Betsy
was pregnant five times, but we never had a child. I almost lost her twice.
Every time she miscarried, it was like someone had killed her. She would cry
for weeks. I was upset, too. I couldn't show it as much as she could, because I
was worried about her and I wanted to be strong for her. But I'll tell you,
every night when she was asleep I would cry." He sighed. "I've never
told anyone that before."
"Erik?" Rose's voice was hoarse.
She hadn't spoken to anyone since November. She had just cried and prayed for
her suffering to end.
"Yes?" He was glad she had at least
acknowledged he was there.
"How did Betsy die?"
"She had a stroke." He took a deep
breath. "It was awful. She went quick, though. I've heard horrible stories
of people surviving the strokes and suffering so much."
Rose looked over at him. "That's what
happened with my father."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
Rose nodded. She was silent for a few
minutes. "How come you told me about you crying and no one else?"
"Because I knew you would understand,
and you know you're everything to me. You're like my daughter. I just wanted
you to know you aren't alone." He nodded. "Jeez, it's cold in
here." He wanted to change the subject.
"I've been colder...much colder."
Rose sighed. "There's something I never told you." She closed her
eyes tightly. Rose debated whether or not to tell him. What she wanted to say
was private between she and Jack. They had told Maggie and Brian. Erik was just
as important to her as they were. She opened her eyes. "I never told you
how Jack and I met. I never told you why I don't have a family."
Erik looked at her. "I know...you don't
have to tell me, Rose. I didn't tell you about me to get you to tell me about
you."
"I want to tell you." She looked at
him. "My name before I met Jack was Rose DeWitt Bukater. I was engaged to
Caledon Hockley."
Erik sat back in the chair. He knew exactly
who Caledon Hockley was. Everybody knew who he was.
Rose started to tell the tale that she hadn't
told since April of 1912. Everything came out. Every detail, every word, every
emotion. It didn't surprise her how much she remembered. She had replayed it
every night in her head. For the past three months she had replayed every
moment she had spent with Jack. She told the whole story up until she had met
Erik.
When she was finished, Erik was sitting on
the bed. "I had no idea."
Rose looked down. "I miss him so
much."
"I know, Rose, but he's coming
home." He looked at her. "In the letters he sent, what was the last
thing he wrote?"
"Never let go...and before that, I'll be
home. I love you."
He nodded. "I've always known Jack was a
man of his word. But after hearing that story you just told me, I realize how
incredible he is. If he said to you he's coming home, then he's coming home.
And don't you think you owe it to him to keep your promise of never letting
go?"
She nodded. "It's just that I'm afraid
when he comes back, he'll be angry with me. About the baby."
Erik gasped. "Rose, no! No, no, no. He
would never be angry with you about that. Ever. If he has even the tiniest
heart in his chest he could never be angry with you about that."
Her eyes filled with tears. "I feel like
it's my fault."
He hugged her. "It's not your fault.
These things happen. I know. There was nothing that could be done. I wish more
than anything that it could have been stopped, but it couldn't have been. You
deserve a child. You will be a wonderful mother."
Rose cried for a little while longer.
"Thank you, Erik."
"For what?"
"For talking to me."
"You're welcome, but how come you didn't
let Maggie or Brian talk to you?"
"I don't know...when they first talked
to me, I was too upset to listen. Then I just got sadder and sadder, and I
didn't want to hear it. I listened to you because I knew you understood."
He nodded. They both were quiet for a little
while. "Rose, how would you like to come back to work?"
Rose thought for a moment. "I would like
that. Anything to get my mind off all this."
He smiled. "We're putting on Pygmalion
in April. If you come back now, it will be just in time for rehearsals. How
would you like to play Eliza? Ben is playing Henry Higgins and Tim is playing
Freddie."
She nodded. "I would love to. Do you
think they'll want me in it?"
Erik laughed. "Rose, every day since you
left, everyone at the theater has asked, When is Rose coming back? Is she
coming back? Get her to come back. I miss Rose. I hear it every day. Believe
me, they want you back."
Rose smiled. "I haven't done that in
months."
"Done what?"
"Smiled."
Erik smiled. "Well, I'm glad you did,
because nothing makes me happier than seeing you smile."
"Okay. Then next week, I'll come back to
the theater."
"That's wonderful. The plays haven't
been as good since you left."
Rose blushed. She thanked Erik again. After a
while, he left. Rose went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. "Oh,
my God. I looked awful," she gasped. She began to run the bath. After it
was full, she slid into the warm water. Rose let the bath soap and salts scent
overwhelm her. As the water cooled, she felt revived. This was the beginning of
a new attitude. She wasn't going to hold onto the pain. She would never forget
the baby, but she needed to get past it. And Jack, she needed to go back to how
she was. Jack was coming home. He was. But she couldn't think about that.
Rose sighed and got out of the tub. She
looked back in the mirror and smiled. A confident, proud smile. "It's time
to start making it count."