A FIRE IN THE WIND
Chapter Five
"Darling! Darling!"
Rose was awakened by an awful voice. She sat
up in her bed with a moan, and opened her eyes to see Cal, already dressed, at
the threshold.
"You slept in. Hurry up and get dressed.
It's nearly nine," Cal said, surprisingly affectionate.
After he shut the door, Rose let out a yawn
and slowly started the process of waking up. Rose wanted to sleep in more then
anything. She had gotten about two hours of sleep last night, and was truly
exhausted.
Five minutes later, Ruth came in to help her
daughter with her corset. As she started to lace it up, she began talking about
the day's activities. "At three we'll be taking tea with the Stewarts. I
think you remember Katherine. She's a year older then you." Ruth stopped
for a moment and looked Rose in the face. "My God, Rose. Did you get any
sleep last night?"
Rose looked down and pretended to be
intrigued with the carpet. "I'm not over the disaster yet. It will take
some time."
Ruth frowned, mortified by the situation. Her
daughter had been thinking about that boy, Jack Dawson, the one that had almost
blown off the engagement because of some puppy dog romance. "You're not
still thinking about him." Ruth's voice was sharp, and it surprised Rose,
immensely.
Rose sighed and slowly moved her eyes up to
her mother's.
"Rose, the fact that he died is one
thing, but confessing your love to someone you knew for only three days is
quite another. You're young and naive, and you have no idea what a cruel place
the world can be. Did you really think anything would last between you and him?
He had probably broken the hearts of many young women before you. Do you really
think you shared something special between you? You don't understand
love."
Rose was hurt and confused.
"Mother--"
"I don't want to have this conversation
again!" Ruth pulled back fierily. "Do you understand me?"
Rose looked down at the ground again, holding
back a tear. "Yes," she said softly.
"Good," Ruth said, finishing up.
Rose was once again left alone in her room.
She put on a simple but elegant yellow dress and headed towards her vanity to
put on her makeup. As she began to powder her face, her mother's words rang
through her head like a bullet. Do you really think you shared something
special with him? You don't understand love.
Rose punched the table with her fist. Oh God,
Mother! I don't understand love? In your eyes love is an emotionless betrothal
to someone that you loathe. Love to you is money. It's not real!
Rose composed herself after putting on her
mascara. Putting her hair up was a challenge. It hadn't been washed in a few
days, and was a tangled mess. Rose somehow managed to put it up and make it
look decent. A few minutes later, she headed down the stairs.
Rose laughed as she thought of some of her
childhood memories on these same stairs. Like the time she had spied on her
parent's New Year's party and got caught, the time that she ran down them a
little too fast, fell, and twisted her ankle, and the times she used to slide
down the banister when her mother wasn't looking. Rose took a right at the
bottom of the stairs and headed into the breakfast room.
Inside, Cal and her mother were talking low.
Cal was reading a newspaper, and cringing while looking at the stock section.
Rose quickly looked away when she saw an unwelcome picture of the Titanic on
the cover. Cal looked up and smiled. "Oh, there you are, sweetpea! I trust
you slept well."
"Yes," Rose lied.
Cal and Ruth resumed their conversation, as
Rose graciously accepted a cup of tea from Joanna, one of the maids.
After breakfast, Cal left to visit some
friends, which gave Rose somewhat more of exciting choices on what she wanted
to do today.
Later that morning, Rose was walking through
a nearby park with her best friend, Allison.
"Rose! I'm so glad you're back. So much
has happened since you've been gone," Allison started. "You really
should meet Luke!"
Rose laughed. "I thought it was Michael
this time!"
Allison smiled. "Anyway, you have to
tell me everything about Europe, especially Paris! I haven't been since I was
nine!"
Rose began describing Paris, somewhat
reluctantly. "It's beautiful, truly. Artists line up all across the
streets selling their paintings. I bought about ten, but…"
Allison looked down at the ground, trying to
avoid the subject of the Titanic. "You must be so excited about the
wedding! Oh, I can hardly wait to be married! To spend eternity with your
soulmate. How romantic!"
Rose sighed, thinking of Jack again, and
decided she had to take it off her shoulders. "Ali, something happened on
the ship."
"Rose, I know it sunk. I mean…I'm not a
total moron."
Rose shook her head. "No, it's not that.
It's…oh, God. I don't know if I can say it!"
Allison gave Rose a bewildered look. She was
certain Rose would come back with dozens of stories about Europe and excitement
for the wedding, but Rose seemed to be acting so…devastated. "Rose, what's
wrong? Please, tell me."
Rose looked into Allison's hazel eyes. They
looked so open and willing to help, but Rose knew that Allison wouldn't be
prepared for what she was about to hear. "All right. Are you sure you want
to hear this, Ali?"
Ali smiled openly and nodded.
Rose began her story in vivid detail,
describing Thursday. When she got to Friday night, she slowed down.
"Friday night, after dinner--oh, God, Ali! I don't know you could
understand. I was at the lowest point in my life. I really had nothing to live
for. Cal was a bastard, and my mother wasn't about to blow off the engagement.
I was absolutely trapped. With no one to run to for help, I…"
Allison looked up, noticing a tear in Rose's
eye. "Please, go on, Rose," stated Allison, softly.
"I…cut myself," Rose let out.
Allison's face was totally full of emotion.
Had Cal really been that awful? "Oh…Rose," Allison cried out,
thinking Rose was finished.
"Ali, I'm not finished."
Rose described how she had torn her whole
room apart, and got to the part where she was going to jump off the back of the
ship.
"I finally got over to the other side of
the railing, which was quite an obstacle because of my dress. Oh, God, I was so
scared. I really did want to live, just maybe another life. I didn't feel like
I had an option. So there I was, frozen still at the back of a ship. I couldn't
move. Then, out of nowhere, came this voice…"
Rose continued on, her friend staring at her
in awe, not knowing what to think.
Rose went on describing all of Saturday with
a smile. She had made Ali crack up with laughter when she got to the time Jack
and her spat off of the ship. When Rose got to the steerage party, she let out
a big laugh. "You never have been to a real party if you haven't been to
one of theirs. Forget everything you learned in finishing school about the
proper way to dance or behave at a formal gathering. They don't care. They out
of all people know how to have a good time!"
Sunday was the hardest day for Rose to
describe. With many pauses in between words, Rose described Cal's tailspin at breakfast,
and then her refusal to Jack in the gymnasium.
"I couldn't believe what a stupid
decision I had made. Jack had made life seem so beautiful, so worth living. I
found him at the bow. There he was, staring into the sunset, heartbroken. And
then, I spoke."
Allison was literally shocked when Rose
described Jack drawing her. She could not believe that Rose had the nerve to
poise nude in front of someone.
Rose's voice seemed rushed when she described
Jack and her frantic race against Lovejoy. "We rushed down to E Deck out
of breath, our nonstop laughter not helping us at all. We ran into a room, and
locked the door. There was an extremely loud humming noise, and we couldn't
hear ourselves think. Luckily, there was an entrance to the boiler room, so we ran
through all of them. The we went into the cargo hold…and then we went out of
the cargo hold."
Allison didn't understand the huge pause in
the last sentence, but she decided not to ask.
Rose's voice grew sad as she described the
iceberg, and then Cal framing Jack, putting him in prison. It was even harder
for Rose to proceed when she talked about running through Scotland Road, trying
to find help, and getting stuck with an ax. Rose spoke slower and slower as she
got closer to Jack's death.
"We went up to the boat deck. Jack's
first priority was getting me on a lifeboat. He wanted me to live. In line he
held me close to him, making sure I was warm enough. I was wearing nothing but
my soaking wet dress and a flannel blanket."
The end left Allison spellbound. "Did--did
he survive?"
Rose gave Allison a morbid look.
"No."
"Oh, my God, Rose. I had no idea. I'm so
sorry," Allison said to her friend, confused to say the least.
"Oh, Ali. God! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I
can't believe I told you this. I can't believe I put this on your shoulders.
It's just I--I needed someone to tell, really. Best if you didn't tell
anyone." Rose was crying again. It seemed as though her eyes hadn't been
dry for more than five minutes after Jack died.
"I'd better be heading back," Rose
said, wiping away a tear. "Mother will be furious."
And with that, Rose stood up for a long walk
home, left alone with her thoughts.