FLORA
Chapter Two
When Rose went inside she found Flora in her
bed crying. Silently, she got a handkerchief from the suitcase and handed it to
her, Flora taking it gratefully, dabbing at her eyes and cheeks.
Rose just sat next to her in silence,
realizing that what Flora needed right now wasn't any more words, but a
comforting presence to stay by her. The door to the room opened and Rose turned
to see Molly walk in from the hall.
"Hi girls, how's it…" Her sentence
tapered off when she saw Flora, and she rushed to her side, rubbing her back
gently and trying to soothe her.
"Flora, darling, what's wrong?"
Between Flora's uncontrollable sobs and her tears she couldn't speak for
herself, so Rose became her voice.
"Matthew came back, and he just left. He
told her that he doesn't care about her." Molly then realized fully why
Flora sat crying. She could tell that Flora loved the man, and having him say
that must have killed her. She sat on the edge of the bed, continuously
comforting the sobbing girl.
"Darling, don't you worry, it will all
turn out in the end." Molly knew that those words were of no comfort to
her now, but still said them. Rose, having had floods of memories rush back to
her, excused herself and went to the other bedroom, closing the door firmly
behind her.
The next morning Molly herded the girls out
the door as early as possible. Flora could tell she was anxious to get to her
own home, so made no arguments when she woke her up early that morning to get
dressed and ready to go. Rose had cried non-stop all night, and this morning
seemed more solemn then before. Flora had been powerless to help her as she had
been helped by her. Molly had attempted to speak to her, but had come out of
the room unsuccessful. Flora saw that Molly was as concerned as herself, but
neither wanted to force Rose to confide in them.
Matthew had visited her in her dreams, even
if he wanted nothing to do with her in reality. It was hard to accept he was
gone, but in comparison to Rose's suffering she had endured nothing when it
came to that of a man's love being taken from you. From what Matthew had said,
he had no love for her to take away.
The dress she wore was blue and white, and
though not as beautiful as she had worn before, incredibly comfortable. She was
in mourning, but she refused to wear black. Since her parents' death she had
worn enough black to last a lifetime of death. Her uncle had even told her when
she first went to stay with him four years before to take off that hideous
color and join the living. It would be more of a disgrace to his memory to wear
the normal mourning clothes than to dress in bright colors and wear a smile.
Rose still was extra attentive to Flora, even
though she was in immense pain. Flora insisted she could do some things by
herself, but she doubted if Rose's whirling mind of memories heard her
comments.
"Darlings, you sure you both got
everything?" Flora nodded after finding her two suitcases already in the
car, but Rose momentarily hesitated, pushing her hand deep into her coat
pocket, feeling around, and then bringing it back out when she was satisfied
she had found whatever object she had searched for. Flora's curiosity was
piqued, but still she remained silent, not wanting to disturb Rose's thoughts
about Jack, which she knew was what troubled her dear friend so.
As they all sat in the car, a bit crowded but
otherwise comfortable, Molly chatted on about anything she could think of to
speak about. Flora half listened, while Rose seemed so out of her mind she
hardly even glanced at Molly or Flora. They passed a tavern that was bustling
with business, and Rose looked at it, strangely interested in it. Suddenly, her
silence was broken as she turned to them both with a small smile.
"Molly, can we stop and go in
there?" The other women turned and looked at Rose in bewilderment. It
seemed she hardly noticed their shock.
"Rose, darling, that there is a bar! You
ain't used to that type of crowd!" Molly looked more amused than anything,
and Flora just sat speechless.
"I'll stop moping if you stop
there." This was an offer too good to pass up, and Molly immediately asked
for the car to stop in front of the tavern.
Flora thought that it must be quite a sight
to those out front to see a fancy black car pull up with three prim and proper
looking ladies sitting inside, but Rose never let it bother her a minute.
"I'll stay in here and wait for ya,
darling. I've had my fair share of those places, you go on." Rose jumped
out as soon as they stopped, and to her surprise, pulled Flora out with her.
Amazingly, she didn't fight to stay. The quaint look of an old tavern seemed
mysterious to her and to see the inside was too good a chance to pass up.
"Hello gentleman!" Flora was amazed
at how brave Rose was, to go by those two men sitting out front and just talk
to them like that! It made her laugh to see how well this proper lady fit in
with these drunks and gamblers!
Inside was a mess of loud men and some women
talking and laughing. At the sight of Rose and Flora, it seemed everything
turned rather quiet, or as quiet as it could be in one of these places. All the
faces inquisitively turned to them, and it made Flora rather self-confident,
but the attention seemed to make Rose even braver. She approached a card table,
where four men were playing poker, dragging her companion behind her by the
hand.
Three of the men were scraggly looking, and
most obviously hard workers. The each had beards and old work clothes. Flora
figured they must have come off a night shift somewhere.
But the fourth was a young and incredibly
handsome man of about twenty or so, with deep red hair that could have used a
trim. His smile was enticing, and his whole demeanor was confident, maybe
mistaken for arrogance, but his smile gave him away.
"Well, well, what have we here? Did you
two young ladies get lost? If so, I could show you pretty things right up to my
hotel room!" The other men laughed at his statement, and to Flora's
surprise, so did Rose. She let her laugh die, then looked down at the cards on
the table.
"May I join?" Flora gasped, wanting
to run right back out to Molly and not even show her face, but when the men
motioned for her to sit, Rose pulled Flora to the side of her.
"All right, honey. First, I think it
just right that we all know everyone's names here. This here is Stan, Mitchell,
and Peter. And you two fine ladies?" Rose spoke up as loudly as the man
had, confidence radiating from every pore.
"I am Rose Dawson, and this is Flora
Cartwright. And you sir?" The young man raised his eyebrows, a sly smile
on his face.
"I'm Alex. Now, let's get started!"
Flora watched as Rose played, not knowing in the least what she was doing. All
she knew was that Rose won twice out of the three games they played, and it
even made Flora get excited to see her friend beat these four tough poker
players.
From outside they heard the honk of a horn, and
both girls knew that Molly was getting impatient. Rose begged her pardon,
taking the money she had won and throwing it into Flora's purse. Then, Flora
started out with Rose close behind, but both stopped when Rose turned back to
speak to the young man.
"Sir, may I ask your full name?"
Alex smiled devilishly, standing and feigning a bow.
"My name, my lady, is Alexander
Calvert." Satisfied, Rose smiled once more and both girls raced outside to
the car, where Molly was waiting.
"You get that out of your system,
Rose?" Rose nodded enthusiastically, Flora smiling despite the
embarrassment that it had caused her.
"Yes, Molly, I did." Molly nodded
with a smile, then winked at the two girls, their cheeks rosy from the heat
inside the tavern.
"All right then! Sonny, let's get on the
road!" The car began its drive to the train station, all the women inside
laughing with merriment as it drove away.
*****
The train ride was uneventful. Rose was in
much better spirits now, and it made Flora glad that Molly had let them stop at
that tavern. She thought that it probably reminded Rose of Jack when she was
there, seeing the tough talking men drinking and making wise cracks. It was
obvious she belonged with them, to be in that group of people, to live their
life. Flora was sure that she could never leave society, though she was
unorthodox in her ways, she still liked society's security. It might be boring
sometimes, but she always knew that there would be no surprises. She had had
enough of those in her life.
When they arrived in Boulder the three women
got off together. One of Molly's people, a butler Flora supposed, took the
luggage and loaded it into another black car, then helped each woman get
inside. Even though it had been short, the walk from the train to the car was
welcome to Flora's legs, sore from sitting as long as she had.
"How beautiful it is, Molly! This whole
town!" Rose grasped Molly's hand, and Molly chuckled at her enthusiasm.
"You've only seen a glimpse, darling.
Flora, darling, you all right? You look awfully pale." Molly looked at her
with concern in her eyes, and Rose's smile faded, as she looked the same way.
"I'm fine. A bit tired from the trip is
all." Rose put her arm around Flora, pulling her closer to her side
lovingly.
"Let's get her home and in bed,
Molly." Molly agreed and yelled for the driver to start on their way. He
obeyed, and the car started down the street.
Flora wasn't all that tired, but she knew it
would be no use to argue with Molly, and especially Rose. She was so stubborn
that she would never listen anyway. Flora loved her friend, she really did, but
her constant attentions to how she felt and how she was sometimes were
annoying! But she hadn't the heart to tell Rose any different.
*****
Molly's home was very beautiful and
luxurious, but it also was homey and welcoming. Flora's first impression of it
was a good one, and she was anxious to get settled into her own room and take a
nap. The past couple of days had been exhausting and she hoped that now that
she in a permanent home she would be able to actually sleep. The men that
worked for Molly did all the unloading, and the women went to eat a little
something before they all settled in for the night.
Molly, the chipper person that she always
was, talked non stop to the maid Mindy and the butler Richard for quite some
time, telling of her trip, tactfully leaving out Titanic, just as much for her
sake as for the girls'. Rose seemed to get quiet again that evening, the smile
that had been on her face fading. She was obviously in deep thought, and Flora
knew just what it was she was thinking about that made her so sad.
Flora, having heard most of what had happened
with Jack and Rose, understood the grief her friend was going through. Rose had
told her some of the main things they had experienced together, but Flora
sensed that there was more. She had only told her of the events up to the
sinking, but never went any further than that, and Flora never pushed her to go
any further. But she knew that sooner or later Rose would have to let it out to
someone, and in some ways she hoped that person was Molly and not herself. She
didn't know how she would take another sad love story when she was living one
right then.
"Girls, I say that we go out to the
theater tomorrow night, how's that sound? I ain't been to a good play in
forever! How about you?" Flora nodded enthusiastically. She had always
loved the theater, ever since she had been young. It was one of the few things
her parents did with her as a child.
"I would love it, Molly! I haven't seen
a good play in a while, either! I wonder if there is any Shakespeare plays
here?" Molly shrugged, then called for the maid Mindy to come.
"Mindy darling, you like the theater. Is
there any Shakespeare plays going on around here?" Mindy smiled, obviously
elated to share her knowledge about something she loved.
"Why, yes, ma'am. Romeo and Juliet is
here until next week." Molly nodded with a smile, but then noticed the
tears that had welled in Rose's eyes at the mention of such a tragic love
story. Quickly, she changed the subject, smiling at Flora widely.
"Ah, I 'm tired of old Will anyhow!
Isn't there another show around these here parts? I know that there is more
than one theater!" Flora was a bit disappointed since Romeo and Juliet was
her favorite, but she knew that it would hurt Rose too much to see a play that
was almost parallel with her own love story, so didn't say anything.
"Well, ma'am, I think that the one
downtown has a Zeigfeld folly. My husband and I went to see it a week ago. I
believe it's last night here is tomorrow!" Molly clapped her hands
together enthusiastically, smiling widely.
"Just perfect! I think we could use
something to laugh at, aye girls?"
Flora couldn't help but smile at Molly, who
was trying desperately to get Rose to smile, and in the end was successful.
"All right Molly. I'll try and have fun
for one night at least." Molly rubbed Rose's back gently, smiling with
triumph. Then, after a few more moments of sitting in silence, she rose to her
feet with a yawn.
"Well, it's off to bed with me, and I
suggest you two do the same. We have a busy day tomorrow. Go on, off with both
of ya!" Flora and Rose walked out of the room in front of Molly, whose
chipper good nights made them both feel welcome in a strange home. She showed
them to their rooms, and then went off herself, looking as tired as Flora could
ever remember her to look. She was glad though, because she hoped it meant
Molly would sleep tonight and not lay awake as she had in New York.
Rose and Flora's rooms were right next to
each other, and after they had both hugged good night, Flora retired into the
solace of silence and privacy. She actually felt better knowing she was going
to sleep in her own bed, not a hotel's, or on a train. Once she had slipped
between the freshly cleaned sheets, and pulled the warm quilt up to her chin,
she smiled. It felt so good to finally be somewhere she was wanted. Then,
before she could reflect on the past few days, her eyes closed and a blessed
slumber overcame her.
*****
Flora was woken from her sleep while the sky
was still black. Next door to her she had heard sobbing, and a few mumbled
words between what sounded like tears. Without even a thought, Flora rushed to
Rose's room, spotting her huddled under the window at the far side of the
window. She ran to her side, brushing the tears that stained Rose's face away
as she tried to calm her. Her crystal blue eyes were staring at nothing, and
Flora knew that it wasn't the present she was looking so intently at, but the
past.
"Rose, please, calm down!" She
stroked her hair gently, pushing some of the loose strands away from her eyes.
It was a few moments before Rose finally raised those eyes to Flora, and when
she did she was glad to see that her terrified eyes were now becoming calm.
"Flora, it was awful! It was that night
again, I felt his hand gripping mine, and it was cold, God, it was cold,
and…" Flora hushed her friend, trying desperately to not cry with her.
Yet, with all her efforts to make Rose stop, she pushed forward with her words,
looking off to somewhere Flora would never understand.
"He told me not to let go of his hand,
and I didn't, but he was pulled away from me. All the sudden, I didn't feel his
hand in mine anymore, and I came up to the surface, and started yelling for
him, but there was so many others yelling, just screaming for help. I got
scared, and desperately searched, then I felt someone push me under again, and
again, and I thought I was going to die there, without Jack, without saying
good-bye. Then, Jack came, and he made me swim to this board that was floating,
and I got onto it, but Jack couldn't get on with me, so he held my hand and
stayed with me, in that freezing water! We talked, and he made me promise I'd
survive, that I'd never give up. I promised, I had to, it was what he wanted
for me, and I couldn't disappoint him now, not after disappointing him so many
times before. Then, we went to sleep, and only I woke up. I pried his hand away
from mine, and he sank to the bottom." Rose was crying as she spoke, and
Flora had joined with tears of her own. The sadness on her friend's face was so
real, so painful.
"Oh, Rose! I never knew! My God, I am
sorry! I really am!" She held her in her arms, Rose tightly holding onto
Flora as she shook uncontrollably.
"I had almost left him, I had told him I
never wanted to see him again. For him to leave me alone! But I realized I
loved him!" Rose turned so she could look into Flora's eyes, her face so
serious. "If I hadn't had gone looking for him after that, we would never
have had those last hours together. I would never have got to tell him how I
feel. Don't ever let that happen to you Flora! You don't know what's going to
happen tomorrow, so make sure Matthew knows how you feel, that you love
him." Flora stared into Rose's eyes, realizing just how much she would
blame herself if she went through life without having made sure Matthew
understood her feelings towards him.
"But he doesn't care about me Rose, he
told me so!" Her eyes were filled with new tears as she remembered that
day, what he had said when he left.
"He cares for you Flora. I saw it in his
eyes when I went out in the hall when he was leaving. He just needs to come to
terms with some things, like I did. You see, you are like Jack was, so sure of
your feelings and so optimistic! And Matthew is like I was, confused about
himself. Go after him, Flora. Please, do it for me. I made mistakes, but
please, don't you!"
Flora was crying hard now, she could hardly
see because of the tears and couldn't talk because of the sobs. This time Rose
was the comforter, even though her tears hadn't stopped. After awhile, they
quieted, the two women holding each other as they let their tears run dry.
*****
The next morning Flora announced to Molly
what she planned to do. The night before had made her realize that she would
never be truly happy until she found Matthew, and the only way to do that would
be to go find him, wherever he could be. She thought he may still be in New
York, but then he could have returned to England also. It was really hard to
say, but wherever he was she would find him.
Molly took it exceptionally well, and Rose
actually was smiling the whole morning after she announced her plans. They both
encouraged her in this endeavor, both knowing how much Flora cared for Matthew,
not because she had told them, but because of her actions. There was no doubt
in either of their minds how in love she really was.
"I'll get you some tickets on the first
train to New York, if that's what you want!" Molly excitedly tried to help
in any way she could, and Flora was thrilled to have someone there for her.
"Yes, that is what I want to do. The
quicker I find him the better!" Rose looked pleased with this, her smile
as wide as Flora had ever seen it, and Molly immediately ran to one of her
hired help, asking him to find out when the next train for New York left. The
station not being far from Molly's house, they were just finishing breakfast
when he returned with the news that the next train left in two hours, and he
had bought her a ticket.
"Well, honey, looks like you'll be
starting it quicker than you thought!" Molly motioned for her to take the
ticket, which she did. Her eyes stared at it intently, feeling the full force
of the journey she was about to set out on. She had never really been alone in
the world, she had always had someone at her side to take care of her, and make
sure she was all right. Now, with this ticket, she was for the first time in
her life doing something that she would do alone.
She now knew why so many girls got so excited
about being on their own, how happy they were if they were left unattended for
a short time. And it made her feel good to know that it was finally her turn to
grow up and take that final step to womanhood.
As she watched Mindy bringing her luggage out
from her room, luckily not having been unpacked yet, she smiled with
satisfaction at the circumstances she found herself placed in. She may have
lost all her family, but if she got her way, she would make her own with
Matthew. And after a very long time, again become happy!
Shaking her from her reverie was the voice of
Molly, yelling to her as she rushed into the room, Rose emerging from the
study, a book she was debating on reading in her hand.
"What is it Molly?" Flora's brow
wrinkled in interest, a bit of concern in her voice when she spoke. Molly tried
to regain her breath, and finally did enough to speak.
"This just came for you. It's a wire
from Ohio." Molly held out an envelope holding a piece of paper. Rose came
closer, curiously looking at the paper as Flora slipped it out of the envelope.
She began to read it, the two women both standing near her, anxious to know
what it said. Before either of them could ask any questions, Flora's jaw
dropped and she grasped the paper tightly in her fist.
"Oh my God! Get me on the next train to
Cleveland!" And with this she rushed up the stairs, leaving Rose and Molly
bewildered.
*****
Once inside her room, Flora again read the
telegram, still in shock from what it said. It just couldn't be, there was no
way that this was true! How could it be?
A knock sounded on her door, and Rose asked
to come in. Flora weakly agreed, and she came inside, closing the door softly
behind her. She looked concerned as she approached Flora who was sitting on her
bed, then sat next to her.
"Is everything all right, is something
wrong?" The interest she showed moved Flora, realizing just how much Rose
cared for her and how much of a blessing it was to have a friend like her.
"No, nothing is wrong. I'm just shocked
is all." She raised her eyes to Rose's face, watching as concern turned to
curiosity.
"What is it? What is in Cleveland?"
Rose became even more confused as the moments went by, and Flora tried to find
the words to explain what was in the telegram. With a last deep breath, she
turned so she could look into Rose's eyes, taking her hand in hers.
"It is a letter from my aunt."
There was silence for a minute, both women not knowing what to say next, until
Rose's confusion overcame her and she had to ask questions.
"But…your family is all dead, you said!
There was no one else!" Flora realized how weird it must sound to Rose,
but to Flora it was just as strange. She had thought there was no one else
also.
"Well, I guess no one else that I knew
of! My father had two sisters beside my Uncle Christopher, but he said both had
died. There was Carol and Arlene, and he had said they were both dead, but this
letter is from Arlene. She says that she heard from Uncle Christopher's lawyer
that he had died, and that she wants me to go to Cleveland so she can explain
some things." Rose looked concerned again, her hand clutching Flora's more
tightly than before.
"But…what about Matthew? I mean…"
She looked worried, and Flora knew that she was hoping she would go after
Matthew as soon as she possibly could, but now, with this new bit of news,
Flora knew what she had to do.
"I know, I'm still going to look for
him! I'll take a train from Cleveland to New York after I'm finished, and while
I'm there I can send some letters to some people to see if I can track him
down, like the White Star Line. He may have gotten a job on another ship!"
This prospect relieved Rose, who obviously was happy with that.
"All right, just remember what I told
you last night, please?" Flora nodded, reaching out to hug Rose, who
embraced her wholeheartedly. They held one another for a few moments, then when
they parted Flora noticed a few tears glistening in Rose's eyes.
"I promise." With this last
statement, Rose seemed to become even more emotional, and quickly took her
leave from Flora's room, the sound of her entering her own bedroom audible to
Flora. With a final look at the telegram, Flora tucked it away into the last
suitcase remaining in her room, then carried it downstairs.
*****
The train from Colorado straight to Cleveland
left an hour after the one to New York. Flora and all her luggage were boarded onto
the train hurriedly, and before she knew it she was on her way to visit
relatives.
Molly had brought her to the station to see
her off, but Rose had stayed at the house in her room. She hadn't emerged since
their talk in Flora's bedroom, but she had given Mindy a letter to give Flora
as she boarded the train, which she now held in her hand. The beautiful writing
that was Rose's said simply on the envelope, 'To my dearest Flora' and it was
sealed shut.
Flora hardly knew what to do as Molly gave
her a hug and kiss good-bye, telling her to be careful out there. Flora was
amazed that she was letting her go alone at all, after how hard she fought to
get her to stay with her until she was married and out on her own, but she knew
that even if Molly did not agree with what she did, she would still be there
for her. She sat down in her seat, across from an older couple and next to a
kind looking young woman who seemed to want to keep to herself, which was fine
with her.
After she had settled herself and handed the
man that came around looking for the tickets her ticket, she opened Rose's
letter, and quickly unfolded it, anxious to see what it said. When she began to
read, tears came to her eyes, but she continued unnoticed by the other
passengers. The letter read:
Dearest Flora,
I am sorry that I will not see you off,
but I cannot watch another important person in my life walk away again. I hope
you know how special you are to me, how helpful you have been after what
happened to me. I know I coddled you and probably annoyed you sometimes by
treating you as if you were helpless, but you took it well, and I know that it
was because you did not want to hurt my feelings, and I am grateful to you for
that. I am not over the tragedy yet, but certainly because of you have been
able to deal with my own pain by helping you with yours.
All I ask of you while you are on your own
in the world is that you remember what I told you last night, and what you
promised me just moments before I sat to write this. And, of course, that you
write me regularly so that we can remain friends even in your absence.
Meanwhile, I will remain
Your Devoted Friend,
Rose Dawson
Flora folded the letter back up, and replaced
it in the envelope, holding it close to her heart as if it would give her the
strength she so desperately needed now, and she knew that if she had half as
much strength as Rose Dawson, then she would be all right.