FLORA
Chapter Four

Madeline Astor lived in the home on 5th Avenue that JJ had left her in his will. It was a really nice home, and obviously one owned by the very wealthy. Flora's luggage was put in an upstairs bedroom, but Maddy begged her to stay downstairs for awhile longer that day so they could talk. It was obvious that this woman craved a real human conversation with someone, and Flora was the one that was handy. Still, it didn't bother Flora, and she was actually happy to be able to talk to someone also.

Inevitably, the subject of Titanic came up, which Flora had expected it might. Maddy said that the last thing she could remember is JJ throwing her his gloves when they refused to let him in the lifeboat, the gloves which she still kept safely in her drawer as mementos of her lost husband.

"His family wouldn't let me have any thing that was important to him. After all, I am still just his mistress in their eyes." Maddy poured herself another drink, then gave one for Flora, which she took thankfully.

"Maddy, you were his wife!" She nodded, thoughtfully, then took another sip of her beverage.

"Well, by law, but not in a lot of people's minds. God, when I was younger I never thought that I would become a man's mistress! I was so young, and everyone said how lovely I was and smart, that I could have any man I wanted! And, well, you know how important it is for a girl to be…untouched by a man when she marries. But, he just kissed me and then that was it, I went helpless, just feeling him so close to me! When my parents found out about me and JJ, they refused to speak to me." Flora blushed brightly, a bit surprised to hear that subject talked of so openly. Even when Rose had talked about her time with Jack, she had eloquently hinted at their experience together, but never come right out and said something like Maddy now said! Madeleine noticed Flora's discomfort, and smiled slyly, her eyebrow arching.

"Well, I see that I have shocked you a bit, aye? Didn't you ever hear stories in boarding school?" Flora shook her head, her eyes lowered so she didn't have to meet Maddy's.

"No, I never really did. Some girls talked about that stuff, but, well, not usually around me. It embarrassed me too much." Maddy chuckled, moving closer to Flora on the couch they both were sitting on.

"Did you ever get, well, the talk about those things? The reason I ask is Molly told me you had your eye on a man, and that's why you are here, and I was wondering if you understood the full…well, obligations a woman has toward a husband." Flora thought a moment, remembering how a teacher at her school had tried to talk about it, but it had made Flora so nervous, the conversation had never been finished. And since she had lived with Uncle Christopher in the years when that talk was needed, she had never once heard it.

"No. Uncle Christopher never talked about those female things. Even when I started, well, you know, my…monthly, it was our maid that told me what to do, and what was happening to me." Madeleine nodded, a small smile still on her lips as she poured herself yet another drink.

"Well, I think it's about time you have that talk, don't you?" Flora didn't say anything, but listened as Maddy started to describe just what happened between a man and a woman that so many people wanted to hide. Some of it sounded rather scientific, and some were learned from Maddy's experience, but all of it to Flora seemed like a really odd thing for two people to do. When she had finished, Flora sat in silence for awhile, trying to comprehend what she had just been told, but not being able really to let it all sink in just yet.

"People actually want to do that?" Maddy laughed at Flora's innocence, tossing her head back in merriment, then putting her hand on Flora's in a sisterly way.

"Yes, men more than women, of course, but it is quite enjoyable, for both sexes! And greatest of all, it's what creates babies!" Flora nodded, still trying to understand it all, wondering a bit what it would be like to do that with a man, then pushing that thought aside, afraid she may be thinking something she wasn't supposed to.

"Do all young women get this talk?" Maddy nodded, moving a bit to get more comfortable.

"Yes, it's just natural for girls to be curious about these things. And, it's also natural to think about it, what it would be like and such. Some girls think that they are weird because they wonder what it would be like, but really it's just natural for them to think that." Flora nodded again, still quieter than usual as she stared off somewhere. Maddy stood up, putting her glass back on the end table and turning to Flora with a smile.

"I'm getting tired, I better go to bed. I think that you have a few things you have to think over! Oh, and this is from Molly, she said to make sure and give it to you." She picked up a letter off the table, holding it out for Flora to take, which she did. It said it was from Mrs. Margaret Brown, and she opened it as soon as Maddy had excused herself from the room and headed to bed.

Inside, instead of the letter from Molly she expected, was a letter from Rose. Obviously Molly hadn't wanted Maddy to become suspicious, and hidden who it really was from by using her name. She smiled at Molly's discretion, then began to read the letter from Rose.

Dearest Flora,

I received your letter today with much happiness, and was glad to hear how nice your aunt is. She does sound quite wonderful, and I would love to meet her someday! Your grandparents are from Wisconsin, you said? Well, Jack was from there also, Chippewa Falls to be exact! Wouldn't it be coincidental if their families knew each other some how? I know that Wisconsin is a large place though, and it is very doubtful that they ever crossed paths.

Well, in my life I am truly getting better. I don't think I shall ever get over Jack's death, but I am learning to deal with it better. Edith got sick for one show last weekend, and I was able to have my debut performance! I felt so important being up on that stage, all the attention of the audience focused solely on me! The costume I had to wear is quite elaborate, and quite low cut in the bosom area! The moment I put it on, the first thing I thought was, what would Jack say about this dress? Do you know what makes me sad, Flora? I couldn't answer that question! I didn't know him well enough to know exactly what he would have said to that!

Anyway, enough of my sobbing. The happy news is Edith is going to take a break in two weeks, when the show will be in New York! I will be able to be in it, and you will be there in New York! It would mean so much to me, Flora, if you would come and see me. You're the only person there I even wish to see me! I was at first worried that someone that knew Rose DeWitt-Bukater might attend, but then I realized that I don't really look like her anymore, especially when I'm in the costumes and makeup they put me in!

Alex has become a very valuable friend. He is quite humorous, and often teases me about being 'prim and proper' a lot of the time! He says I talk like a society girl! Isn't that hilarious? Oh, if he only knew! He's asked some questions, and what scares me more than even that, is he has asked me to go on dates with him! He says he won't leave me alone until he is courting me, and I told him that there is no way in this world I will ever be more than friends with him! And he laughs at me! Well, he'll see someday, won't he! Well, I best go now, Flora. I'm a bit tired and best go to bed. Remember, I am praying that you find Matthew soon, and fulfill the promise you made me. For now, remember that I am

Your devoted friend,

Rose Dawson

Flora folded the letter back, then ascended the stairs to her room. Maddy's was down the hall, and again Flora felt better knowing there was someone close. The letter had made Flora laugh out loud, especially the part about Alexander Calvert! She knew that Rose couldn't love another now, not so soon after, but someday she would want to fall in love again, and if Alex was as persistent as he was described to be, then she had no doubts that he would try his best to be the one she gave her heart to. Flora remembered what Jack had said about Rose's future, how he had known it all along, then she smiled.

"See Jack, you're not the only one that can see the future!" And with this she turned the last light off in her room and crawled into bed, relishing how warm she felt. Ever since she had endured the pain of freezing cold water, she never took for granted how wonderful it was to be in a warm bed.

Flora thought about what Maddy had said tonight, about what happens between a man and a woman in bed, and she smiled. She could almost see herself doing that with Matthew, doing what Maddy had described, and it was a pleasing thought. As she drifted off, Flora imagined his arms were wrapped around her in a tight embrace, and could almost feel his breath on her neck, but realized as she slipped into sleep he wasn't there…yet.

*****

Flora left the next afternoon for the White Star Line main offices. She was determined to get the whereabouts of Matthew from them if it took begging and pleading from her to get it! Since they had not answered either of the two letters she had sent them before, she was ready to take it into her own hands and demand to speak to someone!

Upon entering the building, she noticed that there was a great many other people there probably searching for their own relatives, either dead or alive. Flora was grateful that Matthew was alive, even though he had meant nothing to her before the sinking, before the moment she stepped into that lifeboat. It still brought tears to her eyes to think that if he had died, she would have never met him.

Maddy had lent her a very professional looking outfit for this occasion. Maddy couldn't fit in it now, because of the pregnancy, but it fit Flora perfectly. The blue dress was rather professional looking, and the smallish hat she wore tipped a bit over her forehead, shadowing her eyes. All in all, Flora looked like she was someone that got what she wanted, and she intended to today.

After telling a secretary her name and business, Flora was instructed to sit down and wait to see an assistant of Mr. Morgan. At first, Flora sat patiently, watching as everyone around her was sent into the office, and returned knowing nothing more than when they went in. After an hour and a half had passed, Flora watching the clock closely as it did, she glanced a ways down the hall, noticing a door with a familiar name on it, at first pushing it to the back of her mind as she again went up to the secretary, smiling sweetly.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Hi, it's me again, Flora Cartwright? Well, I was wondering if you have any idea how much longer before it's my turn?" The older woman glanced up, obviously annoyed with Flora's question. Her eyes bore into Flora's, getting her a bit uncomfortable, not to mention mad.

"Young lady, I told you to sit down and wait for your turn! Didn't you listen to me? My goodness, where are your manners! Now, sit back down and don't worry that pretty head of yours. Your time will come as soon as all these gentlemen have had their turn." Flora grew angry, looking around at the full room, knowing full well that most of the men here now hadn't been when she had arrived.

"I was here before most of these gentlemen were! I deserve enough respect to be given my rightful place on a waiting list!" Her voice rose, the old lady shushing her frantically as some of the men looked up at where the commotion was coming from, most of them with disapproving glares in her direction.

"Miss, sit down! Your time will come!" With this the old woman turned away, doing something with some files. Furious with her treatment, Flora yelled as loud as she possibly could.

"Yes, my time will come, right now!" Determinedly, Flora marched down the hall towards the door she had spotted from her seat, only briefly hearing the old woman yell at her to come back, the man was not to be bothered, but Flora flung the door open and marched inside the room.

Dumbfounded was the only word to be used for the expressions on the three men's faces in the office. The two sitting in front of the desk simply turned to see her, but the man behind the desk stood, his confused face staring at Flora in shock.

"Mr. Ismay, I demand to speak to you now!" J. Bruce Ismay excused the intrusion, hurrying the two gentlemen out of the room, closing the door behind them. He obviously remembered who Flora was, having met her aboard Titanic, but definitely did not seem to thrilled to have her there. He offered her a seat, which she refused bluntly, opting to stand while she talked.

"Miss Cartwright, I was so sorry to hear about your Uncle. Christopher was a truly great man." Flora nodded, accepting the condolences, then began to ask what she had come here for.

"Mr. Ismay, I am here to ask a favor of you, and I believe that you owe me one. After all, you are alive, while my uncle is at the bottom of the ocean." Ismay nodded, obviously a bit uncomfortable with this topic, but still willing to listen. Flora cleared her throat, then continued:

"I met a man after the tragedy, he was an employee on the ship, and since then have lost him. I want to see him again, it is quite important to me, and so far no one here has been willing to help me find him. I don't know if he is working on another ship, or what, but if you could help me, Mr. Ismay, I would say that would call us about even, considering my Uncle could have been the one to sneak onto a lifeboat, taking a woman or child's spot, but you were the one that did, leaving my Uncle to die." Ismay nodded, his fingers touching his mustache, a habit he had acquired some time ago. With a sigh he sat down at his desk, taking a book out from a drawer and opening it about half way.

"What is his name, Miss Cartwright?" Finally feeling the rush of triumph, Flora sat opposite him, eagerly wringing her hands.

"Matthew Cambridge, from England, I'm not sure where though. I don't know the correct term for it, but he opened the doors in the 1st class dining room." Ismay nodded, surveying all the names on the page in front of him, then writing something down on a piece of paper, handing it to Flora when he finished.

"There you are, Miss Cartwright, I trust that you will no longer bother us here, since we are now even." Flora nodded excitedly, shaking his hand, then walking out the door with an air of achievement about her. The triumphant smile on her face told everyone in the lobby her accomplishment, and when she walked by that old woman, Flora rose her head a little higher, realizing that she had just demanding something from a man, and got it!

Once outside she glanced at what was on the paper, seeing an address for somewhere right there in New York! As excited as she had ever been, Flora forgot about what was ladylike and almost ran to the car Maddy had sent for her, slipping inside, the smile never leaving her face.

As soon as she arrived back to the house, Flora rushed to her room and took out her stationary and a pen, then sat at the desk to write a letter.

Dearest Rose,

I'm about to fulfill that promise…

*****

Flora got all the support from Maddy possible, and was loaned her car and driver again for that evening when she decided to go to the address Mr. Ismay had given her. Maddy had given her a bit of information on it's whereabouts, saying it was near the shipyards where the Carpathia had come in that fateful day, and Flora thanked her profusely on her way out of the house.

The ride there was unbearable! Every turn she wondered if his house was just in the distance, if she was close, and finally the driver stopped the car in front of an old house. It was a bit wore down, the paint peeling and the steps leading to the door creaked with every step, but Flora went up them anyway and knocked on the door, her heart pounding!

Finally a man answered the door, about the same age as Matthew who definitely looked like he worked hard for a living. His face showed shock at seeing her, and questioningly asked her what she wanted.

"Hello, I am Flora Cartwright, and I am here to see Matthew Cambridge. Is he in?" The man nodded, yelling back behind him for Matthew to come to the door. After a few moments he came, smiling at the other man.

"Who is…" His sentence tapered off when he saw Flora standing there, her head held high and a smile crossing her lips as soon as their eyes met. There was silence for a few moments, and Flora thought that she saw a hint of a smile cross Matthew's lips, but quickly disappeared as the other man left the two of them alone to talk.

"Flora, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave me alone!"

The words were angry ones, but they were said in a soft voice, a caring tone to them. Flora ignored what he said, and held her hand out to touch his face briefly, Matthew not moving to take her hand away.

"I need to talk to you? Is there anyway we can talk alone?" Matthew nodded, disappearing inside a moment, then returning with the man that had answered the door. He quickly left, his coat over his arm as he began to walk down the street, then Matthew invited Flora inside, closing the door behind her.

"Flora, you really shouldn't have come, all right? Are you alone? Where is Molly? I swear, you never listen to any one do you? It is dangerous around here, a girl shouldn't be out here alone!" Matthew raised his voice a bit, Flora realizing that it was concern that made him do that, she smiled at the thought.

"There is a car and driver waiting out there for me, I am fine! I just have to talk to you, Matthew! I need to tell you that I love…"

"Flora, stop it! You can't love me, all right?" Flora sat down on the couch that was there, her eyes showing how hurt she was by his words.

"Why not Matthew? Why can't I love you? Do you know how I feel, inside, really? You don't know if I love you or not! Why can't I be in love with you?" Matthew sat on a chair in front of her, facing her directly, but not connecting their eyes.

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because I don't deserve to be loved! Especially not by you. Is that enough of an answer for you!" There was silence for a few moments, her anger fading as she looked into his haunted eyes.

"Oh Matthew! That isn't true! You're a wonderful man, of course you deserve my love!" Flora stood and walked over to where he was, falling to her knees in front of him so their eyes could meet.

"You don't know about my past, Flora! If you did you would never feel anything but disgust towards me, all the things I've done…" Flora reached her hand out and put it on his cheek, resting it there gently, a few tears gathered in her eyes.

"I don't care about that! Nothing you could have ever done could make me not love you!" Matthew pushed her hand away forcefully, getting up from the chair and going to the other side of the room.

"Yeah? How about the fact I was married once and had a child! And, after they died, how about all the women I was with! How I would go to bars and pick up prostitutes and any other woman that was handy and bring her home with me! How about all the women I've shared my bed with! Are you caring yet, Flora?" Flora stood shaking, her tears spilling over her cheeks as she approached him.

"Matthew, what you did was in the past! Please stop, I still don't care!"

Matthew seemed to get madder, grabbing her by her shoulders and pressing her against the wall behind him, his face so close to hers she felt his breath on her nose.

"Yeah, how about all the women I did this to!" He pressed his lips to hers, rather hard at first, but it started to soften as Flora's lips responded as she kissed back! His hands glided down from her shoulders to her waist, feeling everything on their way down. Her body felt weak as he moved closer to her, their lips still connected. Suddenly, Matthew pulled away, mad at himself for having done that. Flora was so stunned at first that she just stood there, her heart beating faster than it ever had before. Automatically she remembered what Maddy had told her about this very subject, and she realized she wanted to do more than just kiss.

"Matthew, I don't care that you kissed other women!" Flora moved so she was close to him again, watching the side of his face as he thought.

"That's not all we did, Flora!" Her body still excited from the kiss, Flora came around in front of him and slid her arms around his neck, her face bent up to him.

"Show me what else you did, Matthew? Please show me everything!" Matthew looked into her eyes, and realized that he wasn't strong enough to say no to her. He had imagined what it would be like to be with her since they first met, and now he had his chance.

Gently he began to kiss her and feel her body, Flora's breath catching when he began to caress her in all the places she had thought unmentionable. As he continued, he became more passionate, and before she knew what was happening she was underneath him on the couch, the god awful constricting garments removed and her bare skin pressed against his.

Their kissing became more fierce, and Flora knew from Maddy's talk what would come next, and it excited her! As they continued, and came closer to the moment Flora had thought about since Maddy had told her about what happens, she became even happier that she had asked Matthew to show her everything!

*****

After it was all over with Flora laid breathless in Matthew's arms for a few minutes, not wanting to leave his side, but knowing she had to. It had been the most incredible experience of her life, and it had definitely lived up to her expectations about it!

After a few more minutes of wonderful silence, Matthew began to move, sitting himself at the end of the couch, Flora doing the same as she clutched for a piece of clothing to cover herself up with, but in the end couldn't find one, so sat nude in front of Matthew, not at all embarrassed to show him her body, the body that had been one with his just minutes ago.

"I cannot believe we did that!" Matthew grabbed his pants off the floor, slipping them on hurriedly, then blushed when he noticed Flora still was without cloths. He grabbed them off the floor and tossed them to her.

"Here, dress while we talk." Flora stood up and began to put her cloths back on, leaving the corset off and just putting back on her dress.

"I can't believe we did it either! But I know one thing." Matthew looked at Flora questioningly, throwing her the shoes she had discarded as well.

"What is that?" Flora smiled contentedly, going to him again and putting her arms around his neck affectionately.

"I'm very glad that we did." Matthew smiled, nodding in agreement as their lips met again, this time kissing each other gently and lovingly, instead of the heated kisses they had shared in their fit of passion.

"Me too actually. Flora, I…well, I want to tell you something." Flora nodded for him to continue, her caring eyes and sweet touch urging him to go on with what he wanted to say.

"I love you, I have for a long time. And, well, I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife." Tears came to Flora's eyes and she embraced him tightly, letting her tears spill onto his shoulder as she rested her face their.

"I want to be your wife, Matthew, I do really! Nothing would ever make me happier!" They stayed in an embrace for a moment longer, then he led her to the couch and had her sit, placing himself next to her after she was settled. Their hands never let go of the others, not wanting to have to stop their physical contact until they absolutely had to.

"I have to ask you to do something for me Flora. I need you to be patient while I go back home to England, while I find work there and get our home ready for us. Can you do that, can you just stay here while I work everything out so when you come to England it will be perfect for you?"

Flora nodded excitedly, tears still staining her pale face. "I've waited this long, I can wait a while longer, as long as I have you."

Matthew smiled again, his eyes showing the love he felt inside for her. After another second of being together, Flora realized that the driver was still outside waiting for her, and Matthew remembered that the man he lived with should be walking through the door at any moment. Quickly, she gathered the rest of her things, wrote down Maddy's address, and gave him a last kiss as they said goodbye, disappointed that they had to leave each other's side at all.

When Flora was finally in the car, and they began on the road, she sat back and replayed the night over in her mind, smiling at just the thought of what had occurred. She was now officially a woman, a real woman! And she had become one because of Matthew!

After a few more moments of pondering, she remembered what she had promised Rose, and how she had finally fulfilled it! How happy she would be to know what happened, to know that Flora was going to become Matthew's wife! It was still a surprise to her that he had said that this soon, but the bond between them was obviously there, strongly there! He had been there for her when she needed him, and from now on she was going to be there for him whenever he needed her! After all, marriage meant in sickness and in health, for better or worse, until death do they part. And she vowed to be there through it all!

Chapter Five
Stories