FOREVER
Chapter One
Unwilling to Stay, Unable to Leave
Rose stepped into the lifeboat, not wanting
to let go of Jack's hand. She turned to him as she felt his fingers pulling
away from hers. It couldn’t possibly be real; this whole night was surely a
dream! Jack…she muttered softly, fearing it would be the last time she saw him.
She wasn’t stupid and she knew that if it came to drastic measures to ensure
that Jack wouldn’t live, Cal would surely take them; but what choice did she
have? The officer and pulled her to the boat, and it was what Jack wanted. Rose
let go of Jack’s hand and felt her soul dying a little. He smiled at her
slightly, reassuring her with no words that he would be all right. She couldn’t
smile; it wasn’t something she had the capability of doing at the moment. She
sat on the edge of the lifeboat next to a crying woman who was holding her two
daughters. The same two daughters Rose watched say goodbye to their father.
Rose watched knowing their father would probably not live. Mr. Andrew’s voice
echoed in her head as she watched the two girls cry. "There aren’t enough
boats for everyone…all but half." So what did that mean for Jack? Would he
be apart of that half? No, he was a survivor…he’d lived through a lot so far;
God wouldn't be that cruel? But then again God was going to take half of these
people whether they had just found earth shattering love or if they were
ninety-two with ten grandchildren. Rose knew God couldn’t play favorites, it’s
just how the world worked and she knew at some point everyone had to die. But
why did it have to be this way for her, right at this moment? Rose looked at
Jack as they began to lower the boat. She watched as Cal said something to
Jack, with a cocky self-satisfied grin spread across his face. Rose knew that
look, something was happening. But surely if Cal had any feeling or respect for
Rose at all he wouldn’t let Jack just die! Or would he? Jealously does strange
things to people, Rose had known that her whole life. And his charm filled
persistence in getting Rose into the lifeboat and then offering Jack a seat on
a boat could have been a trick. Rose looked up at Jack as his eyes suddenly
filled with tears, he was trying his best to hide it by plastering a fake smile
on his face and nodding his head slightly. She searched his face for any kind
of unspoken messages he might be giving her. She looked around her surroundings;
the lifeboat wasn’t nearly as full as it could have been, they could have saved
more people even if they were men, they still had a right to live! They were
human beings after all. Rose looked around at the sobbing women, and Rose
realized she wasn’t crying. Why? Had these people realized something Rose
hadn’t? She was pretty sure she knew everything that was happening. Mr. Andrews
had confirmed her own fears about the ship less than an hour ago, had it really
been that long ago? It had felt like years to her now. She knew the ship would
sink, but there was always the question of a rescue ship, no one knew if there
was another ship close by or not. So far there had been no ship, not even a
speck off the horizon visible to her. Slowly doom began to sink into Rose’s
mind. She looked up at Jack again then ahead of her. They would be passing the
B-deck promenade soon, then there would be nothing but water. She knew what she
had to do; she had to get off the lifeboat. She saw the tears in Jack’s eyes
and the smirk on Cal’s face and knew instantly that Cal was tricking them! She
had to be with Jack, even if she did die…she would be in the arms of her soul
mate. She stood up, glancing once more at Jack then she started to take a
running leap toward the B-deck promenade…but a strong arm stopped her, pulling
her back.
"What in God’s name are you doing?"
the officer in charge of the boat asked her. "Have you gone mad?" he
asked.
Rose looked at him sobbing, "I have to
get back! He’s up there and he’s going to die!" She sobbed pointing to
Jack.
The officer looked up at Jack who was
watching concerned obviously not hearing their exact words. He looked back at
Rose. "Shut your mouth! Do you want a panic?" the officer yelled.
Rose looked up at Jack. "I have to get
back up there! Now stop!" she yelled, sobbing even harder.
The officer pulled her to a sitting position.
"All right men, now grab an oar!" he shouted to the other men in the
boat, mainly stewards who had been directed to man the boats.
Rose looked over the side of the boat, they
were now sitting on the water and she hadn’t even realized it. "No! My…my
husband! Don’t you understand!? I have to be with him!" she yelled at the
officer.
The officer looked at him, then at his
stewards. "Row men!" he ordered.
Rose’s face flushed. "Go back up!
Now!" she yelled her position in society taking her over. She stopped
herself. "Please sir…I want to be with my husband…" she started as
she began to cry harder.
The officer looked at her. "I’m sorry
Miss…we can’t go back…now please sit down."
Rose obeyed, but she really wanted to jump
into the water and swim to the ship. She looked up at the boat deck, scanning
it for Jack. He was gone! She felt faint as her surroundings began to blur. She
closed her eyes and began to pray as hard as she could for a miracle.
*****
It had been an eternity since Jack walked
away from the boat deck when he saw Rose sit down. He went inside the ship to
try and warm himself up. Everyone around him was of the first class and it was
mostly men now. He decided to get lost before a steward through him out. He
walked down the hall toward the first class suites. For some odd reason he felt
the need to look around, as if he were locked in a store over night and had all
night to look around the abandoned store. He walked down the halls looking for
people he could possibly pull out and tell to get to a boat. When he found no
one he was about to turn back, but then he remembered that all of his drawings
were in Rose’s suite. He turned and walked down the hall until he came to her
door, which was opened slightly. He walked in and to his surprise the maids
were there preparing tea. Jack eyed them. "What are you doing?" he
asked them as he walked in.
Trudy looked at him. "Where is Miss
Rose? Or Mrs. DeWitt Bukater?" she asked the strange boy.
"They got onto a lifeboat…what are you
doing here?" Jack asked again.
"We were waiting for their return…"
Trudy’s voice drifted off.
"Go now and hurry there are only two or
so boats left!" Jack said panicked, he wanted as many people to survive as
possible. And he couldn't leave knowing that two women were aboard the ship
left to die because of Hockley or Rose’s mother. "Wait a minute," he
said looking around the room where his portfolio’s contents were strewn about
in a mad rush. He began to pick them up and put them back into the portfolio.
He came across the one he had sketched of Rose that very evening. He looked
toward Trudy and the other maid. "Come on I’ll get you guys a to a
boat," he said walking out. Trudy and her coworker eagerly followed him
down the hall.
When they made it outside Jack took them to a
lifeboat and got them on. Trudy turned to Jack and smiled at him. "When I
see Rose…I’ll tell her what a brave thing you did saving us," she said.
Jack nodded and thanked her watching as the
lifeboat began to lower. He couldn’t tell Trudy that it had been a stroke of
luck that he had just happened to walk into the room looking for his drawings.
He looked down at his side and saw his portfolio. "Wait!" he started
looking back to where the lifeboat had once been, but it was too late; they
were gone. He decided that he wanted Rose to have his drawings, but now she
would never get them. His stomach was in knots and the pain was harsh
throughout his entire body and now he was at a loss as to what to do. He
couldn’t just sit around and wait for the ship to sink, wait to die. And he
wasn’t about to jump off the side and end it like that either. There was some
faith still left in his soul and he was not about to give up. He decided he
would walk to the other side of the ship and look for Cal to see if he indeed
had a way off the ship. What he did find was something he didn’t expect to.
***
Rose’s eyes opened and she looked around,
seeing a fleet of lifeboats around her. Most people were staring at the ship,
which looked to Rose as if it were tilting up like a tea pot pouring out it’s
contents. She wondered if Jack had been "poured out." Or if perhaps
he had found a way off. She couldn’t watch the ship sink, but she couldn’t stop
staring at it either. She felt awful that she had gotten onto the lifeboat to
be with Jack, only to be stopped by an officer. She found herself being angry
toward the officer and wanting to yell at him until she went hoarse. It wasn’t
like her to ever get that angry, but she knew that she might never see Jack
again and that if she didn't it would be the officer’s fault. She leaned back
against the side of the boat and glanced down at the water. It looked like
black glass and she strained to see what was under it in the pitch-black night.
She turned back and looked at the ship, had it tilted more? That was
impossible! It had only been a minute or so…or had it been days and Rose was
stuck in a slow motion shock? She looked off toward the horizon to see if there
was any sign of a rescue ship. There wasn’t. Why wasn’t anyone helping them?
With the industrial boom happening Rose thought that they would have planned
strategies of help for such occasions. It was people like Bruce Ismay that
skated by all the safety precautions and then when something like this
happened; it was never their fault. She thought back to the conversation she
had had with Mr. Andrews that very morning about being overruled about the
amount of lifeboats. Who would overrule something like that? To Rose the more
safety precautions you had on a luxury liner the more luxurious! It made Rose
even sadder to think that so many people would have to die for anyone to learn
a lesson like that.