MY JACK IS GONE, AND I'M FOREVER LONELY
Chapter One
I'll Never Let Go
As Rose lay there looking up at the starry
sky, she thought of love, of Jack, and of how much love had been passed between
them in the last four days. "Four days!" she thought aloud. "Had
it really only been four days ago?" she said to absolutely no one at all.
She thought of the song that Jack had sung to her, so softly in her ear. And
she sang it, just as softly as he once did. "Come Josephine...in my
flying...machine...and it's up she goes...up she goes...come Josephine...in my
flying...machine..." And she stopped. She realized that there was a light
coming from the right of her and turned her head.
To her amazement, there was a boat.
"Hello! Is there anyone alive out there? Can anyone here me?" called
the man, who seemed at that point, to Rose, as an angel. She then turned
completely around to face Jack, who appeared to be sleeping. "Jack,"
she said, lightly shaking his hand, but no response. "Jack...there's a
boat...Jack," she said a little louder this time, shaking him a little
harder. "Jack...there's a boat Jack...Jack," she said as her shaking
stopped, and the reality of her situation finally occurred to her.
She didn't want him to go, but he was already
gone. She broke his hand free of hers and kissed it one last time, and
reassured him, "I'll never let go, I promise," as tears rolled down
her pale white cheeks. She slid off the slab of wood and over to an officer who
was dead since the sinking, and took his whistle from his cold blue lips and
blew it, fast and hard. She blew noticing the boat coming back. "COME
ABOUT!" yelled one man, but still she stayed in place, blowing the whistle.
And when the boat reached her they pulled her limp, pale, and exhausted body
into the boat. She was so overwhelmed by this she felt dizzy and almost
immediately fell asleep.
The next morning she woke looking up at a
huge ship. She knew it was the Carpathia, but almost thought it was...well you
know. The lifeboat soon was hooked on and the crew was helping people aboard.
"Which class are you with, love?"
asked a crewmember.
"Third...third class," she said
with an almost dead tone of voice.
The crewmember directed her to a room. She
walked in and looked around. A bunk bed on the right of her, and a bunk to the
left. A small sink and toilet. Not much, she thought, but it'll have to do.
After all if...well, I can do it.
After she was nice and rested up, she went
out into the hallway to stand around for a while. She had been walking up and
down the halls when she remembered the room number Jack had given her.
"Three sixty," she repeated to herself the way Jack had.
"That's it, that's it. There it
is," she said unbelieving she found the room. She knocked on the door. No
answer, so she decided to go in.
"HOLY SHIT!" she practically
screamed. The room she was standing in was the room she was given to stay in.
"Oh, Jack, you did this. Thank you," she said to the walls.
"Who are you talking to, darling?"
Rose practically had a heart attack and
whirled around to see whom the voice belonged to. It was Molly!
"MOLLY! I'm so glad to see you here...I
have to talk to you," Rose said, and shut the door.
"Well, start talking, hon. I wanna hear
this one," said Molly with a laugh.
"Well," said Rose, unsure,
"you see, it's about...Jack." A tear came to her eyes at the sound of
his name. "He's dead, Molly...he's really gone this time...gone..."
she said, starting to tremble and cry uncontrollably.
"Oh Rose, I know it's hard. But God has
a way of doing things we don't want done. I'm sure you'll love again,"
said Molly in a reassuring voice. But did she understand?
"No, Molly...you see...I...have
so...much pain...and...and..." She sobbed, tears rolling down her face.
"Go on, dear. It's OK to cry,"
Molly said.
After a few minutes of crying Rose managed to
calm herself and stop. Then she continued. "Molly, I can't live without
him. I love him too much to lose him, but he's gone...and the only one who
would be there to hold me and love me, to tell me it would be all right, to
kiss me like no other has ever done, and make me feel I'm free, the only one
that could actually care about me is gone...GONE..." she said, and tears
rolled down her face. Slowly, then faster and faster.
"Rose I'm here...it's OK..." said
Molly, putting her arms around Rose.
She cried like that for at least an hour
before she stopped, and then Molly said, "Well, Rose, I'd better let ya
get some sleep. You've had a hard day, and I need some rest, too."
"OK. I guess you're right. Good-bye,
Molly," Rose said as Molly left the room.
Rose then lay down on the bottom bunk and
went to sleep. When she woke, she was thinking of Jack and how they loved each
other so deeply. "Molly could never understand, nor anyone else in the
world. And the only one who would understand...who would be able to
listen...who would actually care...is Jack...and he's gone," Rose said aloud
to herself, fighting back tears.
As she went up on deck she realized they had
just docked in New York. She quickly got off to avoid the crowds and above all
Cal and Ruth. She sat on a bench at the dock for a while, then stood up.
Looking down at her was the Statue of Liberty. It was dark out, so Cal nor
Mother would see her although the survivors where all still there and so was
the crowd.
"Can I take your name please,
love?"
Startled by the sudden voice of the
crewmember, she looked down. "Dawson...Rose Dawson," she said and
looked back up at the statue.
After a while she sat back down on the bench
and wondered how she would ever get through the night, let alone the rest of
her life, without Jack. She noticed Molly coming up to her and she sat down
next to Rose.
"Rose, dear, what's wrong?" Molly
asked, although she knew all too well what was wrong, and Rose knew she knew,
but still told her.
"I miss him so badly," she said.
"We all miss him," Molly said, and
right then and there Rose knew she could get through this with Molly. She knew
she could survive.
Later that night Molly had taken Rose to the
hotel she was staying at and given her a nightgown. "Now, go get some
sleep, darling. It's been a long day. Good night."
"Good night, Molly, and thank you,"
said Rose as she finished putting on her nightgown.
As Rose lay in bed that night she felt an
overwhelming sense of love and loneliness at the same time. My Jack is
gone...she thought...and I am forever lonely...but at least I have memories to
last a lifetime...as the thought went through her mind, she rolled over and
closed her eyes. "Good night, Jack. I love you. Wherever you are, I'll
never let go..." she whispered as she drifted off to sleep. "I'll
never...let...go..."