Written by Becky
Based on some situations originated by James Cameron.

A man with dark hair walked slowly down the stairs of the Grand Staircase. Thomas Andrews walked into the dining saloon and then went to the kitchen.

"Hello, Mr. Andrews," the chef said.

"That food that you gave to my wife earlier for dinner gave her food poisoning," Thomas said.

"Oh, my greatest apologies," the chef said.

Thomas punched the chef, picked him up, and then threw him down on a table, causing all the china to break. When the chef landed on the ground, he looked up at Thomas in pain.

"That’s what you get for poisoning my wife!" he said. Then he walked away.

The next day, Thomas, his wife, Arabella, Rose DeWitt Bukater, Ruth DeWitt Bukater, and Cal were in the bridge. As Thomas was explaining the use of the two steering wheels, a man came up holding a Marconigram, which he handed to the Captain.

"Another ice warning, sir. This one’s from the Northern," the man said.

The captain looked at it and then noticed the worried looks on Rose and Ruth's faces.

"Oh, not to worry. Quite normal for this time of year. In fact, we’re speeding up. I've just ordered the last boilers lit," the captain said.

"Yeah, because you’re an idiot!" Thomas yelled.

The captain looked at Thomas and frowned as Thomas left the bridge with the group that he was showing around the ship. When they were out on the deck, Thomas was in the middle of explaining something about the lifeboats when he was interrupted by Bruce Ismay, who came running down the deck yelling.

"The lifeboats are a waste of space!" he yelled. He got so caught up that he tripped and fell. Then he stood up and began to kick the lifeboat. "Stupid lifeboats!" Bruce yelled.

"We only have so many boats. You do know that, right?" Thomas asked.

When Bruce turned to see the group he smiled like a idiot. Arabella walked up to him and slapped him.

"Don't you kick my husband’s boat!" she said. Then they all carried on with the tour, with Cal tripping over Bruce. As Cal walked with the group, he found himself wishing for Bruce to notice him. But he also wished Jack Dawson would notice him.

A couple of hours later, after dinner, Arabella and Thomas were out on the deck. They looked at the mess the iceberg had made.

"I hope they don't expect me or you to clean this mess up," Arabella said.

They looked down and saw Arabella's friend, Rose, and her boy toy, Jack Dawson. Jack began to run around, pushing the ice around. Then he tripped on the ice and fell. He hit his head hard on the ice block and died.

"Oh, crap!" Rose said. She had been chasing him.

Arabella almost wanted to laugh as Rose ran off, screaming.

They continued to watch and noticed nobody was caring about the dead Jack. Just as they were about to walk away, Cal came running out with a glass of brandy. He set the brandy down, crying. Then he began to attempt to bring Jack back to life.

"Live, damn you! I love you, Jack Dawson!" Cal yelled.

"You fag!" Arabella heard Rose yell.

When Cal realized he couldn't bring Jack back to life, he threw the glass of brandy in Jack's face.

About half an hour later, Arabella was standing on the deck, watching some people do the can-can, and then noticed Cal and Bruce come walking up, both holding glasses of brandy.

"I wish I knew how to quit you!" Cal said to Bruce as they got in the boat.

"Hey, Cal, you want some chocolate?" Bruce asked in a slurred voice.

"Oh, Bruce, you’re so damned romantic. I love you," Cal said.

They got in a boat together and would eventually get married.

When Rose was put into a boat by Thomas, she was confused.

"We’re on a boat? No wonder everybody kept trying to pull me back when I was trying to go out for a walk. The ship is sinking? Dear God. Are there enough lifeboats?" Rose asked.

"Rose, we talked about this. Don't you remember?" Thomas asked.

"No. Who are you? Are you married? You look old," Rose said.

"I'm Thomas Andrews. Yes, I'm married. I'm only thirty-nine, and I'm leaving," Thomas said as he began to walk off.

"No, Thomas! I mean, Jack! Jack, please, don't leave! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack!" Rose screamed as the boat was being loaded.

"Rose, shut the hell up!" Arabella screamed.

"I can't handle this stupidity!" Thomas yelled as he went into the first class smoking room.

*****

About two years later, when Rose was walking through New York, she decided to buy a new dress. So, she went into a local shop to place an order. Behind the counter, she could see a woman sewing a dress.

"Hello?" she called.

"One moment," the woman said. Her voice sounded oddly familiar. When the woman came out, Rose gasped. So did the woman.

"Hello, Mother," Rose said.

"Rose! Oh, Rose, you’re here! Now we can go and you can marry Cal! Oh, my word. I've been working as a seamstress--"

"Mother--"

"And it's just been awful. Mind you, the pay is good and--"

"Mother! Can you fix my dress?"

"--the pay is good, but imagine if you married Cal! We could have our beautiful clothes again!" Ruth cried.

"Mother, who is Cal?"

"Rose, Cal was your fiancé on the Titanic," Ruth answered.

"I was on the Titanic?" Rose asked.

"Yes. Now, let’s go to Philadelphia!" Ruth cried. She ran out into the street. But we all know what happens when someone doesn’t look both ways before crossing the street.

Many years later, when Rose was one hundred and one years old, she sat in a room on a ship, telling some people about her life on the Titanic. The entire time Rose was telling about the sinking, Brock sat there, almost falling asleep, and Mr. Bodine sat there making sound effects of the ship sinking and of people screaming for help. When she was done, Brock looked at her.

"Look, lady, that was a nice story, and I'm sorry you lost the guy you loved, but…uh…where’s the damned diamond?" he asked.

"Shit. I don't even think she was on the Titanic," Lizzy said.

"Well, actually, she’s right. I wasn't. I just wanted to ride on a helicopter before I died," Rose said.

Then Lizzy took Rose and pushed her to her room. That night, while everyone was celebrating because they were going home, Rose was walking to the end of the ship with her hand clenched around something. She stood up on the end of the ship and looked at the jewel in her hand.

Lizzy saw her grandmother and thought she was going to jump off the ship.

"Nana!" she screamed as she, Brock, and Mr. Bodine came running.

"Don't come any closer, or I'll drop it," Rose said as she held out her diamond in her hand.

"You've had it the whole time?" Brock screamed.

"Yep!" Rose said proudly. Then, with a laugh, she dropped it in the water.

"That really sucks, lady!" Bodine yelled. Then he, Brock, and Lizzy all went diving in the water for the diamond. Rose went back to her room and died in her sleep.

The End.

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