GRATITUDE
Chapter Four

The next morning, Arabella woke up a little late. When she looked at the clock, it said it was nearly 11:30 in the morning. She got out of bed and dressed, then went out and saw a note from Thomas. It said that he was out doing his usual rounds on the ship and if he did not return before she woke up, then he would meet her at lunch. She made sure she looked presentable and went out for a walk. When she reached the deck, she saw Rose standing there, looking out at the ocean.

"Good morning," Arabella said, standing beside her.

"Oh, good morning, Arabella. We missed you at breakfast this morning," Rose said, but she seemed a bit distant.

"Well, I have no idea why Thomas didn't wake me. Now I just wish lunch would come," Arabella said.

"That announcement last night caught us a bit off guard. Congratulations. You two seem to be very much in love," Rose said.

"I guess after the wedding was canceled the first time I never stopped loving him. It's just that after my father died I was in a terrible state of shock. He tried to comfort my mother and I, but I needed to be away from Ireland, as did my mother, so we went to Scotland. We only planned on going for a couple of months, but wound up being there for three years. I think after I stopped writing to Thomas I broke his heart. He was married, but his wife died in childbirth, and so did the baby. I met another man and he courted me and proposed. All was planned, and then he lost all of his money. We returned to Ireland and he got a job with working on the ship. I wound up breaking off the engagement when he started to abuse me," Arabella said.

"Well, at least you’re with someone you love and who loves you in return," Rose said softly.

"Rose, if you would forgive me for asking, but how do you feel about the whole situation between yourself and Cal?" Arabella asked.

"I feel trapped. I'm in a situation that I have no control over, in a relationship with a man that I don't lo--" Rose stopped herself before finishing the sentence.

"I know how you feel. After the relationship with Matthew began to go the way it did, I wanted out. But my mother felt I had a promise to uphold. Then he started to come home later and later and would abuse me. It was while he was at work on the ninth that I went to talk to Thomas. I hadn't seen him in four years, but when I saw him, I felt that feeling that was there when I first saw him. After I told him what happened, he insisted that my mother and I go to his house and that I come on the ship," Arabella explained.

"I wish I could feel that way about Cal. Just light up every time I see him, but it's my mother who is forcing me into this. We need the money," Rose said.

"It'll be all right. I'm sure it will," Arabella replied.

"Good morning, ladies," a voice from behind them said. Arabella turned to see Thomas and Cal, who had just walked up.

"Good morning," Arabella said.

Rose forced a smile at Cal.

"It's just about time for lunch, Sweetpea," Cal said to Rose.

"So it is. Will we be seeing you at lunch?" Rose asked.

"Of course," Arabella said.

Rose smiled a grateful smile. "Thank you for listening," she said. She and Cal walked off.

"What were you two talking about?" Thomas asked after they were gone.

"Women things," Arabella said, knowing Rose would not wish for everyone to know she didn't care for her fiancé.

"Oh, well. Forgive me for not waking you. You looked peaceful sleeping there, and I did not wish to disturb you," Thomas said.

"That’s fine," Arabella said, taking his arm. They began to walk to lunch.

"So, did you find anything else that needs to be changed the minute we reach New York?" Arabella asked, laughing.

Thomas laughed. "Well, only that the stateroom hat racks have an excessive number of screws holding them in. Oh, and the pebble dashing on the promenade is too dark," Thomas replied.

They reached the dining saloon and sat down. As they were starting a new conversation, Bruce Ismay came by and said that today he would be sitting with Captain Smith for lunch. Rose, Ruth, and Cal came to the table, and then finally Molly.

"So, please indulge us. How was the ceremony?" Ruth asked.

Arabella thought for a second, and then said, "Well, it was just a private ceremony. Right over there." She pointed to a spot not too far from where they were sitting.

"Who was present?" Ruth asked.

"Well, it was Captain Smith, Officer Murdoch, Officer Lowe, the band that played the music, and Scarlett, Arabella's assistant," Thomas said.

"It must have been a nice ceremony," Molly said.

"It was. It truly was," Arabella replied.

After they ordered their food, Rose whispered something into Arabella's ear. Arabella laughed slightly at the joke about Cal being uptight, and they continued on with their meals.

After lunch, Arabella and Thomas went on their usual walk around the ship. This was something they had been doing since the afternoon that the ship left. Now it was twice a day that they walked around the ship. After their walk, Thomas had to run an errand and Arabella was left on the deck. She could have gone with Thomas, but decided not to. Instead, she decided to do something a bit drastic. After remembering something Thomas had told her about, she went in search of the room where they kept people taken under arrest.

When she reached the room, she told the stewards that she wished to talk to Matthew alone. They stood outside the room and she walked in. Matthew was handcuffed to a pipe. When he heard the sound of heels and the rustle of a gown, he looked up.

"You little whore," he said.

"Well, it's lovely to see you, too, Matthew," she said.

"Don't think I'm stupid. News travels fast around this ship. Last night, that Officer Murdoch came down here to speak with the stewards. They were talking, and Murdoch happened to mention that you and Mr. Andrews had gotten married. Congratulations, except I seem to remember you were engaged to me," Matthew said.

"Matthew, in that letter that I left at the house, I very clearly said that I did not wish to marry you. Yesterday, I admitted to Thomas that I still loved him and that I always would. That’s when he proposed to me," Arabella replied.

"Pft. You’re still a little whore," Matthew said.

"Matthew, say what you wish about me, but I came down here to at least tell you that. I'm also sorry for leading you on all these years. By now, you could have married someone else and been happy with her. I shouldn't have lied to you and myself. But even after I called off the wedding with Thomas when I was seventeen, I still loved him. I hope that maybe once we are in New York you can begin a new life and marry someone who truly loves you," Arabella said.

With a nod of her head, she left the room and went up to her suite. When Arabella entered the room, she felt like a load had been lifted off her chest. She retrieved her notebook and began to write some more of her story. After about an hour or so, Thomas returned, and about half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Thomas rose from the sofa where he and Arabella were sitting and talking and answered the door. On the other side stood Rose. When Arabella saw her friend, she stood up and went to her husband's side.

"Arabella, may I speak with you?" Rose asked.

"Yes. Would you like to come in?" Arabella asked.

"Oh, yes, but is there any place we can speak in private? It's nothing against you, Mr. Andrews, but I just need to speak with Arabella in private," Rose said.

"Yes. Out on the promenade deck. We can close the door and sit out there," Arabella said.

Thomas smiled slightly, moved, and sat at his desk. Arabella let Rose into the room, closed the door, and walked out to the deck. They took a seat, and Arabella waited for Rose to speak.

"Arabella, I need a way out of this engagement. I feel as if I'm screaming and no one, except maybe you, is bothering to look up and notice. I can't marry Cal. He is controlling. He doesn't love me. I'm just another one of his possessions," Rose said.

"Well, I don't know how you can get out of it," Arabella replied.

"I just wish I could get out of it," Rose said.

"I'm sorry, Rose," Arabella said softly.

Rose looked down and wiped away a tear that had fallen. Arabella hugged her friend, and after a moment, Rose stood up.

"Thank you so much for listening. You are a true friend," Rose said.

Arabella stood up, they hugged again, and Rose left. After Rose was gone, Arabella went back into the sitting room and sat down with Thomas. The two talked for another couple of hours, and then they prepared for dinner. Arabella dressed in a gold gown that complemented her. It had two shades of gold and gold beads. They walked to the dining saloon and sat at their usual table.

As Arabella observed Rose, Rose looked like she was thinking very hard. She looked troubled. Arabella knew she was troubled, but this was a different trouble. Before dinner was even served, Rose whispered something to her mother and left the room. About half an hour or so later a man came to the table with an urgent look on his face. The man whispered something to Cal. Cal beckoned for two other people from the table, his manservant and Arabella. Arabella looked from Thomas to Cal and stood up. The man led them to the deck to see a man who Arabella knew to be the Master-at-Arms, a man who looked to be from steerage, and Rose. Rose had been given a blanket. Arabella walked over to Rose and sat beside her.

"What made you think you could put your hands on my fiancée? Look at me, you filth! What did you think you were doing?" Cal demanded of the man from steerage.

Rose looked at Cal and felt she had to do something. She stood up and spoke.

"Cal, stop! It was an accident," she said.

"An accident?" Cal asked.

Arabella stood up and tried to decipher what Rose was saying.

"It was...stupid, really. I was leaning over and I slipped." Rose stopped for a moment to look at the boy in handcuffs.

"I was leaning way over to see the...ah...propellers. And I slipped, and I would have gone overboard...but Mr. Dawson here saved me and almost went over himself," Rose said.

"You wanted to see the propellers?" Cal asked.

"Women and machinery do not mix," Colonel Gracie said.

"Was that the way of it?" the Master-at-Arms asked the man.

Rose looked at the boy with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Uh-huh. That was pretty much it," the boy said.

"Well! The boy's a hero, then. Good for you, son! Well done!" the Colonel said, and then turned to Cal. "So, it's alls well and back to our brandy, eh?" he contained on.

The boy was uncuffed. Without a second thought to Jack, Cal turned to Rose.

"Let's get you in. You're freezing," Cal said. Arabella began to walk back to assist Cal with Rose when the Colonel stopped them.

"Ah...perhaps a little something for the boy?" he asked in a low voice.

Cal stopped and turned to his manservant. "Oh, right. Mr. Lovejoy, a twenty should do it," Cal said. He was about to continue walking when Rose spoke.

"Is that the going rate for saving the woman you love?" she asked.

"Rose is displeased. Mmm...what to do?" Cal asked. He thought for a second and turned to Jack. "I know. Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow, to regale our group with your heroic tale?" Cal suggested.

The boy looked straight at Rose, and then answered, "Sure. Count me in."

"Good. It’s settled then." Cal and the rest who had run out to check on Rose turned to leave. Cal put a protective arm around Rose and then leaned over to whisper to Colonel Gracie. "This should be interesting," he said.

Cal took Rose half of the way, and after making sure that Rose would be fine with Arabella, he left the two women and went to the smoking room. But first, for Arabella's sake, he pardoned her to her husband.

As the two women walked, Arabella was trying to decide on how to phrase her question.

"Rose, we haven't known each other long, only a few days, but I can tell when you are lying. Will you tell me what you were really doing out on the deck? I won't tell anyone, of course," Arabella said as they reached Rose's suite.

"You know me well. I was...I was going to jump," Rose said. She opened the door and admitted the stunned Arabella into the room.

"Oh, Lord, Rose. I knew you were upset and desperate, but to take your own life?" Arabella asked as she shut the door behind her.

"It was spur of the moment. I just wanted out, and at the time, jumping off seemed the best thing to do," Rose replied.

Arabella wrapped her arms around her friend.

"No matter how hard life gets, just remember you have me. I will always be your friend," Arabella said.

"Thank you. You’re right. I'm going to get changed now. Trudy can help me. Thank you for bringing me to my room," Rose said.

The two women hugged once more and Arabella left the room. When she got to their suite, Thomas was out on the promenade deck, listening to the sound of the ocean hitting the ship lightly.

"I'm sorry I had to leave dinner so early," Arabella said.

Thomas turned to face her. "It's fine. Cal only told me you were taking Rose back to her room. Is she all right?" Thomas asked.

"Yes. Rose had a little slip. She was leaning over to see the propellers and almost fell off of the ship. A young man saved her from being taken by the ocean. But when he got her pulled over, they thought he was trying to take advantage of her because she had been screaming and her position looked like he was trying to take advantage of her. So that was all dealt with, and once Rose got to tell them what happened, Cal invited the boy to dinner tomorrow, walked her halfway to her suite, and I took her all the way to her room," Arabella explained.

"Oh, well, it's good to know she's fine. Well, it's getting late. We should get to bed," Thomas said.

Arabella nodded. After changing into her dressing gown, she went to sleep.

Chapter Five
Stories