HOPE
Chapter One
A Painful Truth
April 20, 1912
Night
As she lay there, Rose realized more than ever
how dearly she loved Jack. In one night, her whole world had been taken away
from her so cruelly. Jack was the only person that Rose had truly ever loved,
and now he was gone. Gone forever.
If we were meant to be together, why have
we been parted? Was our love never meant to be? Was I supposed to die at the
mercy of the Titanic’s stern the night we met? Why was Jack the one to die? Why
didn’t I die instead? Was Jack the one meant to survive?
Rose started to cry uncontrollably. A voice
in her head startled her. Don’t cry. I know you love me, and I you. But you
must be strong. Never let go. The voice was Jack’s.
Is he watching over me? Protecting me from
the harsh world that lies ahead? Does he know my thoughts are of him?
You are stronger than you think, Rose.
Just believe in yourself. She heard
Jack’s voice once more.
"But I love you. I need you..."
Rose found herself crying out to a voice that had once comforted her. The voice
now only made her weep.
Jack and I were meant to be together. That
I am certain of now. Then why is he gone, and why am I here?
Such thoughts followed her until she could
stay awake no longer. Rose fell into a deep sleep, where her dreams only
reflected upon what her earlier thoughts were...the awful pain of realizing
that Jack was gone. She would never see him again...
Scattered memories of the steerage dance they
had shared and the beautiful sunset danced through Rose’s head like a soft
melody. Spinning round and round, faster and faster. Then, quickly, water was
rising. Rising and rising until there was nothing left. An awful shiver came
over her. The water had been so terribly cold. Rose screamed for Jack, but she
could not see him. "Jack!"
She woke up with a panicked cry. Once again,
the harsh memories of Jack occupied her thoughts.
You must be strong, Rose. You must be
strong...the voice echoed through her
head. She knew what she needed to do, but doing it was a completely
different story.
She heard his voice again in a soft whisper. I
love you. This time, it was a comfort to hear his voice. Rose had never
heard those words from his lips. And now, somehow, she realized that Jack would
be with her, even if she could not be with him. He would always be looking
after her, no matter what. With this peace in mind, she fell back into her
sleep.
Her dreams were of Jack. Rose would always
remember Jack’s heart pounding with hers. His gentle touch and his warm
embrace, surrounding her like warm blanket. Her mind drifted back to their
night in the car. "To the stars..." And suddenly she was drifting in
the clouds, high above the world...in the stars. They were so beautiful and
brilliant. Shining around her like angels...
The Next Morning
Rose awoke in the hotel, confused by her
surroundings at first. Ever since Molly had found her on the decks of the
Carpathia, she had been in a daze. In fact, she wasn’t really sure how or where
Molly had found her. Rose was just grateful that she had. Molly had taken care
of her the whole journey to New York. When the Carpathia docked, she had
insisted that Rose come with her and stay at the Waldorf. She had been planning
on only staying for a few days, but she had been kind enough to say she would
stay as long as Rose needed her. It almost seemed that she was the mother Rose
had never had.
There was a knock at the door. "Yes? Who
is it?" she heard Molly ask. Molly must have been up for a while. It must
have been eleven o’clock AM already. Rose guessed that she had needed the sleep
more than she had thought.
"Room service," a man’s voice said.
Molly opened the door and told the man to
leave it near the large chair. When he left, Molly noticed that Rose was awake.
"Mornin’, darlin’. Slept well, I hope?"
"As good as possible, under the
circumstances, that is," was all she was able to reply.
"I guess we’ll all be havin’ our share
of nightmares for a while."
Rose hadn’t told her about Jack and herself,
or even why she wasn’t with her mother, for that matter. Molly hadn’t asked, at
least not until now.
"Rose, honey, I know you’re in pain. I
hear you cry out at night. Are your dreams that disturbing?" She asked
this with all the love in her heart, but even so, Rose found it hard to respond
to the question.
She began what would be a long conversation.
"Well, after dinner that night…"
*****
"...and then I realized that he was
gone. I let go of his hand, letting him slip into the dark ocean. I got off the
wood and swam to the man with the whistle. I pried it from his lips and started
blowing furiously. The boat came back and picked me up. The rest you pretty
much know." By now she was mess. While telling Molly the story, she was
pretty much crying the whole time.
"I’m sorry, darlin’. I liked Jack, as a
matter of fact. Otherwise, I would’ve never let him have that tuxedo," she
said with a smile.
"Hmm. I always wondered where he had
gotten that from." Rose started to laugh. It was the first time she had
smiled since that night. She wondered if Jack was watching. This was what he
was waiting for. To see her smiling once again. It made Rose feel good, too.
She could tell that slowly but surely she would get stronger. It would take a
while, but at least she was sure she would be all right.
And so, Rose’s day started with hope.